makiruz

[makiruz]

Let's irresponsibly breed a dog together!

Share as much as possible that dog gotta be atrocious by the end of the week

#dogs #polls #At least it will look like a dog

[makiruz]

#autistic adult #autism

[makiruz]

[makiruz]

#Meme #Polls #Video games

[makiruz]

does anyone else remember 2012-2013 when everyone’s URL was like “winchesters-221b-inthetardis” and now everyone’s url is just like “truckpussy”

[makiruz]

baby snoopy this, baby clifford that, baby gromit blah blah blah. what about baby kermit???????

#the muppets #i love him

[makiruz]

I can’t state enough how beneficial it was to work at the sex shop as my first retail job. We were encouraged to practice shutting down inappropriate behavior and it became a well practiced skill set. I had a flat stare, icy tones of disapproval, and a demeanor of untouchable scorn to back it all up. I could get the most hardened of perverts to back off or leave in a matter of sentences if they harassed staff or other customers.

When I moved on to selling mattresses I came prepared to handle pretty much any situation with the unruffled calm of someone who has asked Santa to stop touching himself and leave. To my vast surprise it was a skill I needed on the regular at the mattress store. For whatever reason men thought it was the height of entertainment to sexually harass me because I was young and cheerful.

They would always quickly learn they’d picked the wrong target.

One day a man strolled in, sizing me up as he came. He saw a young, tiny, afab person alone in the store and came to a stop way too close. He used his height to leer down at me and said, “I’m looking for a new headboard. Which ones are the best for sex?”

It was so stupid. He looked down at me with half lidded eyes and the grin of a man who owns an unmarked white van. He probably expected me to laugh uncomfortably or act flustered. He wanted to feel tall and powerful or maybe even sexy.

He was not expecting what he got. My face stretched into what could technically be described as a smile but was more accurately a threat display. The temperature in the room plummeted as I dropped all warmth in my demeanor. He took a half step back, suddenly aware that he was alone in a room with me.

“Well, sir, that depends on what kind of sex you’re having. If you are looking for a headboard that is grippeable, I suggest this model. The metal is rounded and wouldn’t hurt a hand gripping it tightly. However if you want something that you can secure with restraints, I recommend this wooden one as the slats are wide and quite sturdy.”

He looked liked I’d hit him over the head with a board and stared down at me blankly, taken aback by the authoritative way that I discussed the merits of his lackluster sex life. I met his eyes, a veiled threat in mine, and said, “Which one will you be purchasing?”

He tucked his tail between his legs and bought the metal one. I pulled up a thin layer of friendliness as I rang him up but he had the chastened air of a man who just ran straight into an iron pole.

Another time a man crawled up onto a tempurpedic and thrusted into an invisible partner. He gave a cocky look over his shoulder, sure that he was going to discomfit me as he asked, “How are these babies for fucking?”

I gave him a deadpan look and and said, “That depends on if you’re someone who has to rely on the bounce of springs for your thrusts. Memory foam beds are nicer on knees and joints for positions like doggy style but they absorb a lot of kinetic energy.”

He visibly deflated and got down off the bed with a vaguely ashamed air.

He bought a spring mattress.

[makiruz]

i actually dont think there's anything funnier than people watching a show or whatever bc they heard it allegedly had gay people in it then getting upset when it includes incredibly normal genre specific tropes that they personally dont like, like maybe you should have checked that before you watched it king and then they get mad at the show for being the show that it is instead of embracing it for what it is. like I'm so sorry that axe murderer 30000 had axe murderers in it and didnt have a happy ending and was really violent but i do think there are some context clues around it that could have let you pick up on that

[makiruz]

In mmy interpreter job we were explicitly told, multiple times, that we CANNOT let our personal beliefs and ideology interfere in our work, this is clearly about people religiously opposed to abortion and shit to handle calls from Planned Parenthood and the like; it's funny that they talked about religious beliefs and what has been a problem for me so far has been ABA therapy

Like, I can deal with all kinds of religious stuff and ADT pushing their crap on people, but having to tell a mother to take their autistic child to ABA gives me literal chest pain, I am still not over having to interpret that nurse saying autistic kids get aggressive for no reason (specially since the teenager in question got violent RIGHT AFTER ABA and he hadn't been aggressive until after starting going to ABA)

#rants #work #interpretation #Autism #ableism #disability

[makiruz]

this image is beautiful to me it is holy, this should be in a gallery

#renaissance #renaissance photo

[makiruz]

Matoran A: Did you hear about these Av-Matoran? Is that really a thing?

Matoran B: I don’t know, I feel like we would’ve heard about one before now if they were real

Takua:

#bionicle #takua

[makiruz]

Your boyfriend? Yeah, the makuta cast him into a deep slumber. Yeah, he's not waking up on his own. We called the toa but it might take a few centuries. sorry.

#bionicle #mata nui #kiina

[makiruz]

Do you think the GSR ever flew past Discworld? I like to think that the Discworld exists in every reality, but each time it's in countered, the discoverer thinks they're hallucinating and has to go for a bit of a lie down.

Mata nui would either be fascinated or go to the nearest moon for a full systems check and debugging.

#Bionicle #discworld #xover

[makiruz]

Kopaka can be so rude and vicious that I think he should develop angry we-hate-each-other friendships with a bunch of like Ex-Dark Hunters and grumpy Toa and other unsavory characters and then the others are watching on in horror as he like "practice-fights" with Lariska on the weekends and exchanges barbed pleasantries with that Toa who killed six of his enemies last spring just for the hell of it. like... he can take care of himself just fine. but why, Kopaka. why

there's like a murder or something one day and Gali's like "word on the street is that (insert bastard) did it" and Kopaka's like "oh, him? yeah, probably. he told me he hates that guy." and Gali is just. so concerned. PLEASE make normal friends Kopaka

#bionicle #kopaka #takanuva

[makiruz]

Lewa deserves a grilled cheese after everything he's been through. I'd say Kopaka does as well, but I'm fairly certain he wouldn't want it- though, I'll defer to your expertise on that call.

I'M SO FLATTERED BY THE IMPLICATION THAT I COULD BE A KOPAKA EXPERT hahaha thank you. i have no real expertise on anything i just happen to think about him every hour of every day. as one does.

all these Toa deserve grilled cheese. Toa Mahri can come home and just lie in their tent and eat cheese, they deserve it. big grilled cheese party. Agori are going to introduce them to cheese and then they will just go nuts. love grilled cheese. as soon as Lewa gets home he is going to exploit the fact that his siblings have been worried about him to convince them to cook him grilled cheese four times a day. Pohatu makes the best ones of course. you would think it would be Tahu but he likes things a little too burned.

maybe Kopaka needs a little more time to come to terms with what milk is before he accepts the tastiness of cheese. probably when Lewa is happily eating them he will eat them with him though. dunk it in some tomato-adjacent sauce. Pohatu loves feeding the lot of them so it works out great. of course if Kopaka really does not want one he can always feed them to the Matoran's pet crabs..... they have developed an intense, unnatural taste for cheese !

#bionicle

[makiruz]

Tahu: Burns his grilled cheeses, but otherwise gets them out quickly. Good for emergencies and other fire-aligned folk. Gali: Very methodical in assembling her grilled cheeses, but takes her time. You'll always get a good one, but it'll take a while. Kopaka: Kopaka, buddy, you have to grill the cheese and bread to make it a grilled cheese... no, okay, you're just gonna eat it raw. okay buddy. Onua: Baseline good grilled cheese. There's not much variation, but they're done at a reliable rate, and they're pretty damn alright. Lewa: Not the best cook, but he does get it done fast, and you can tell a lot of love was put into his grilled cheeses- plus he always has tomato soup. Pohatu: Amazing grilled cheeses. Never doubt him. Quick, tasty, and always willing to make you seconds. Takanuva: Takua, this is a BLT. Takua, where'd you get the ingredients. Takua why are you running.

now THIS people THIS is the content we gather together on this website for

Kopaka just fucken eats like a wild man, doesn't believe in fire, could eat the same meal two weeks in a row without caring. Lewa's probably the pickiest, whines if he doesn't get it how he likes it, loves anything cheesy or sugary. Onua is trying to keep them all eating healthy but there is so much junk to explore on this new world and he is not immune to cheese propaganda. i can just see them now all cooking each other grilled cheese and ridiculing each other's methods

Takanuva's probably the one bringing weird new foods and recipes home to the others. Gresh teaches him. what they don't know is that Gresh is pranking him like half the time. some weird combinations coming home to them and only some of them are real recipes. it will backfire on Gresh when he finds that Takanuva actually enjoys shit like pickles and madu juice, the bastard. or is he pranking Gresh back??? this has gone too far oh no

#bionicle

[makiruz]

Matoran universe inhabitants arent ready for hair.

Imagine Kiina mentioning that her hair is coming loose, takes off her helmet, quickly re does it, and puts her helmet back on.

The toa next to her is just staring in panic because what WAS that- what was that?? Cranial wires? Taking your mask off is a dicey proposition for matoran & toa at best, but to see someone just... casually...?

It's gonna take a lot of explaining, is what I'm getting at.

#Bionicle #spherus magna