mammonsimp

[mammonsimp]

Mammon: Do you think when butterflies are in love, they feel humans inside their stomach?

Asmo: Are you drunk already…?

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[mammonsimp]

MC: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?

Belphie: Depends. Is your bed comfortable?

MC: Yes.

Belphie: I'd sleep.

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[mammonsimp]

Belphie: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its “intelligent” and “really cool”.

Belphie: But when I do it, I’m “petty” and “need to let it go”.

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[mammonsimp]

Lucifer: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.

The Brothers: Awwww-

Lucifer: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."

The Brothers: Oh.

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[mammonsimp]

Mammon, Calling Lucifer: Remember when you told me santa wasn’t real? Well jokes on you because im at the mall right now and guess who's fucking here?

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[mammonsimp]

Lucifer: I CAN'T DO IT!

Levi, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!

Lucifer: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE

Satan: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.

Lucifer:

Lucifer: I appreciate it,

Lucifer: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-

Asmo: Lucifer -

Lucifer: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!

Beel: Lucifer we gotta-

Lucifer: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.

Lucifer: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'

Lucifer, motioning to Mammon: NOT FUCKING THIS

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[mammonsimp]

Mammon: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Beel: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

Asmo: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it.

Satan: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

Levi: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn.

Belphie:

Belphie: I have emotional scars.

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[mammonsimp]

Mammon: Why cant dinosaurs clap their hands?

Levi: because their hands are too short..

Satan: no no no because their dead

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[mammonsimp]

Beel: Can I be frank with you guys

Levi: Yeah sure... but I don’t see how changing your name does anything

Mammon: Can I stay as Mammon?

Belphie: Shh... let frank speak

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[mammonsimp]

Hello fellow Simp !!! Good day to us !!!

Hello there! It is indeed a good day to us!

[mammonsimp]

LOOK AT MY BOI MAMMON!!!

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[mammonsimp]

{Mammon at the bottom of the stairs}

Lucifer: Satan, what happened to Mammon?

Satan: I don’t know brother, he must have fallen

Lucifer:

Satan:

Satan: Okay I pushed him down the stairs

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[mammonsimp]

When your not a VIP Member T-T

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[mammonsimp]

Mammon: Look, let’s just agree to say “I’m sorry” on the count of three

Mammon: One, two, three

Mammon:

Asmo:

Mammon: See, now I’m just disappointed in both of us

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[mammonsimp]

Mammon: You wanna see how hardcore I am?

Mammon: *punches wall*

Mammon:

Mammon: Take me to the hospital.

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[mammonsimp]

Asmo: *kicks “G” off Graveyard sign*

Asmo: Let’s get this party started

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[mammonsimp]

Diavolo, texting Lucifer: Lucifer! Help I’m being kidnapped

Lucifer: Where are you?

Diavolo: I’m with some strange person. In a car. Help.

Lucifer: I’ll call Barbatos.

Barbatos, answering their D.D.D: Hello?

Lucifer: Where’s Diavolo? They texted me that they were being kidnapped.

Barbatos: Diavolo? What do you mean, they're right next to me-

Barbatos: I’ll call you back. *hangs up*

barbatos:

Barbatos: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD!

Diavolo: WHO ARE YOU?!

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