maraudersbtches

[maraudersbtches]

Marlene: So, Lily, do you have a crush on anyone?

Lily: The only crush I have is crushing anxiety

Lily: And James-

#harry potter #hp marauders #james peter remus sirius #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #young marauders

[maraudersbtches]

Remus: So where are you from?

Sirius: I’m from London

Remus: Which part?

Sirius: ...my whole body?

#harry potter #hp marauders #james peter remus sirius #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #young marauders

[maraudersbtches]

Sirius: What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?

Remus: Well actually-

Sirius: It becomes daytrogen!

Remus: ...I’m going to bed

Sirius: Good nitrogen

James: Sleep tightrogen

Sirius: Don’t let the bed bugs bitrogen

#harry potter #hp marauders #james peter remus sirius #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #young marauders

[maraudersbtches]

Remus: Life is like Sirius

Lily: A pain in the ass?

Remus: And short

Sirius, hearing from the other room: hEY

#harry potter #hp marauders #james peter remus sirius #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #young marauders

[maraudersbtches]

James, if he became a ghost: Sometimes I just really feel dead inside, you know?

Sirius, also a ghost: You are dead

James: Oh yeah

#harry potter #james peter remus sirius #hp marauders #remus lupin #james potter #wolfstar #sirius black #young marauders

[maraudersbtches]

James and Lily, crashing their own funeral: Hey guys what’s up!

Remus: What the- we saw you guys dead. You’re dead. We literally saw you on the ground, dead.

Lily: Uh...

James: Death is a social construct?

#harry potter #hp marauders #james peter remus sirius #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #young marauders

[maraudersbtches]

Cop: We got a call that said you had pot in your car

Sirius: *pulls out flower pot* Oh you mean this?

Cop, laughing: Oh my mistake. Whatcha growing?

Sirius:

Sirius: Weed.

#harry potter #hp marauders #james peter remus sirius #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #young marauders

[maraudersbtches]

Snape: I hope you get ran over by a car

James: Hoping is good and all, but really, it gets you nowhere. Be the change you want. Get in your car and run me the fuck over instead of waiting for others to do your work, coward. You lazy greasy ass fool.

#harry potter #hp marauders #james peter remus sirius #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #young marauders #severus snape #snape

[maraudersbtches]

Me, using an ouija board: James, Sirius, or Remus, if you are there...

#harry potter #hp marauders #james peter remus sirius #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #young marauders #wolfstar

[maraudersbtches]

Sirius: I need your help with something

James: Should I grab my gun?

Sirius: No, not this time

#harry potter #hp marauders #james peter remus sirius #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #young marauders

[maraudersbtches]

James: Hey Sirius, how do you spell orange?

Sirius: The color or fruit?

Remus, overhearing it from the other room: ...

#harry potter #hp marauders #james peter remus sirius #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #young marauders

[maraudersbtches]

Remus: I wish I was a dinosaur

Remus: Cause all of them are dead

Sirius: Remus nO-

#harry potter #hp marauders #james peter remus sirius #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #young marauders

[maraudersbtches]

How we all see Sirius and James: fun duo, ultimate pranksters, awesome tricksters, best of friends

How they actually are: dead

#harry potter #hp marauders #james peter remus sirius #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar

[maraudersbtches]

#harry potter #hp marauders #james peter remus sirius #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #young marauders

[maraudersbtches]

Lily: So what were you and Sirius doing at Hogsmede by yourselves yesterday?

Remus: Homo

Lily: What-

Remus: Homocide! Yes homocide!

Lily: ...

Lily: Again, what?

#harry potter #hp marauders #james peter remus sirius #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #young marauders

[maraudersbtches]

Remus after Peter betrays the Potters: Now I’m going to saw Peter in half!

Sirius: YAY!!!

James, communicating through an ouija board: REVENGEEEEEE!!!!

Peter: Uh... you’ve tried this magic trick before, right?

Remus: What trick?

#harry potter #hp marauders #james peter remus sirius #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #young marauders

[maraudersbtches]

Sirius: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Sirius: Cause it sure hurt when I did

Remus: ...did you just hit on yourself?

Sirius: Yes I did

Sirius: You have become irrelevant, goodbye

Sirius: *hairflips and leaves*

#harry potter #hp marauders #james peter remus sirius #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #young marauders