mari-achis

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*is a wreck*

*gives ppl lifestyle advice*

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i hate when girls feel dumb for trying to see the best in people and then end up hurt or disappointed like no!! it’s those people that were dumb for misleading you. they took advantage of your kindness and generosity, and they’ll rot for it 

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Oh No! tattoos!

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holy shit can we be thankful that there are only like, 2 types of phone chargers nowadays? if youre phone died in 2007 you were fuck outta luck

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IF YOU ARE UNMARRIED, DON'T HAVE KIDS, AND HATE YOUR PARENTS PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HAVE A FUCKING WILL

this has been a public service announcement from your friendly neighborhood probate lawyer

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This dude that works at my local taco bell says “tacotastic” and when i asked for a chalupa he said “beef steak or chicken which are you pickin”

I asked for as many fire sauces he could give me and he said “sure i dont pay for it” and the first time i saw him we asked if he was doing ok and he said “no i work here”

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Here’s the new 24 hour comic I drew this year!  This one is called THE KING’S FOREST.  cw: blood, violence

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girl: *screams at a boyband concert*

society: man what’s wrong with her that band totally brainwashed her

boy: *favorite football team loses**starts riots and people end up dead*

society: great to see the younger generation being passionate about something!!

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My boss called me “Tyrone” on accident (My name is Tyrand). She apologized and bought me lunch to make up for it. I didn’t think twice about it, since I’m used to getting called every variant of “Ty-(fill in blank here)”. Then later on I read a quote she keeps in her work area that made me feel kinda special.

“During my second month of nursing school, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: “What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?” Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. “Absolutely,” said the professor. “In your careers you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say ‘Hello’.”

I’ve never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.“

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the donald trump animatronic at disneyland’s hall of presidents looks like they made an animatronic for hillary, went “oh fuck” and stretched a hastily-made donald trump skin over hillary’s facial structure 

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The best way to handle know-it-all jerkoffs who love lecturing women on how John Lennon was a tortured musical genius isn’t to just be like “whatever the Beatles suck,” it’s to comment that you really admire the Beatles as the first internationally successful boy band and to say it’s too bad men were unable to understand or appreciate their musical talent before young teenage girls did, and then accuse men of bandwagoning, which will then make the aforementioned jerkoff permanently shortcircuit.

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tearing bread apart and handing it to someone else is so… spiritual and intimate

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we’re really at that point in the year where no one cares about anything huh

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a compilation of my favorite pride & prejudice posts 😌