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marsbutterfly · 2 months

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When My Heart First Called Your Name

Summary: In the middle of the night, your daughter has a nightmare and asks for a bedtime story. Little did you know, Hanji had already promised her something far better than your imagination.

a/n: hey everyone, it's been a while! this is purely self-indulgent, like honestly. This was written for myself atp. but I do hope some of you enjoy 🤍

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: non-canon au, fem!Reader, non-binary! Hanji Zoe, not beta read at al, they get hot and heavy at the beginning but it doesn't last, I didn't put a specific name for your daughter but I have one in mind hehehe.

ao3 | wattpad | wc: 2.6k

Your eyes go through the same words in the book over and over again, the understanding or even the meaning of the sentences they form not truly entering your mind. You grow more annoyed with every re-read of the page and eventually, you place the book down on your lap, letting out a frustrated sigh.

The water sound that comes from the shower finally stops and the bathroom door swings open, filling the room with steam as the naked image of your partner emerges from it. Their body is wrapped in a black towel while a white one goes through their hair, scrunching up all the water out of their brown curls. They aren’t quite able to see without their glasses, but they don’t need them to realize you seem aggravated.

“Same problem as last night,” Hanji asks, walking around the bed so they stand by your side. You nod, using both of your hands to rub your face, a defeated sigh leaving your lips as the sound of their giggles fills the air. “It’s ok, maybe tomorrow you’ll finally be able to finish this chapter?”

You roll your eyes, “Shut up.” and as you attempt to push them, Hanji grabs hold of your arm, gently pulling you towards them. You can feel the warm sensation taking over your cheeks as you blush, their lips ghosting above yours before your bodies lace together in a delicate kiss.

Your hands go through their face, appreciating the softness that now comes in contact with your fingers, the smell of their clean body enters your nose and it sends your heart ablaze. You can’t help but hum against their lips, the taste of the mouthwash dominating your taste buds as you allow them to take complete control of the situation.

Slowly, Hanji sits on the edge of the bed, pulling you on top of their body. You wrap your arms around their neck and your legs around their waist, your lips never ceasing to touch as your tongues continue to dance in perfect synchrony. Their right hand begins to carefully make its way under your shirt, gliding through your abdomen like it has known this path all along.

Your hips buck against theirs and you notice the goosebumps that rise throughout their body. An amused giggle leaves your throat and they can’t help but grunt in response, knowing you are only doing so to get any sort of reaction you can, they silently claim not to be happy, but you know otherwise.

Before the situation can go any further, you hear small footsteps approaching the room, the faintest knock on the door as a quiet voice whispers from the other side, “Mommy?” In a split second, you hop off Hanji’s lap and begin making your way to the door as they rummage through the closet to find a new shirt to wear.

“Yes, my love?” You ask, making eye contact with the sleepy three-year-old that stands on the other side, her eyes barely open as she holds her teddy bear close to her body, except she nearly drops it when she raises her arms, hoping to be picked up. You oblige, bringing her inside the room, “you should be in bed.”

Her eyes are trying to adjust to the brightness of the TV and you finally notice the mark of the tears that recently streamed down her face. She nuzzles her head against your chest, pouting ever so lightly as she whispers, “I had a bad dream.”

You begin to touch her hair gently, laying her down in the space between your side of the bed and Hanji’s, her little eyes following your spouse’s every move as she eagerly awaits for them to join the both of you under the sheets. Once they’re properly dressed, Hanji nearly comes running towards their family, eager to nuzzle themselves against the two of you.

“I hear you had a bad dream,” they say, whispering as they adjust the covers above your bodies. The little girl nods, hugging her stuffed animal tightly closer to her body. In response, both you and Hanji wrap your arms around her small body, leaving just the perfect amount of space for her to perfectly settle herself in, “would you like to talk about it?”

She shakes her little head in response, snuggling herself in between the two of you. “Would you tell me a story?” Her little voice is barely audible and it cracks in between a few words, a clear sign of how tired she is and how much she wants to go to bed, but is unable to.

“Sure, my love,” you respond, using your index finger to brush a strand of hair off of her face, “what kind of story would you like to hear tonight? Maybe Mama and I can keep the story about the little princess going and maybe tonight we’ll find out if she made friends with the dragon that guards her tower or not.”

You can hear a faint little giggle, closely followed by a yawn. She shakes her head, “No, I want Mama to tell me the special story I was promised.”

Even in the dark, you can tell that Hanji’s face is blushing. A puzzled expression takes over your face, not truly understanding what this mystery story is all about until your partner decides to break the silence, “Why not another time? Maybe when… mommy is at work?”

You look at them with a curious expression. You were always under the impression that Hanji was completely honest with you about things that go around at home while you are gone but, for some reason, you have a feeling that that hasn’t been the case lately, especially in this scenario. The young girl shakes her head once more.

“Mama, you promised,” she whines.

“Yeah, mama,” you join in, poking out your bottom lip as you wrap your arms around your daughter’s shoulders, “you promised!”

A defeated sigh escapes Hanji’s lips, their eye roll not going by unnoticed, but nevertheless, they settle under the covers, making sure their hand is touching your hair gently so they can play with the strands while telling their secret story. You make sure to adjust yourself, one arm supporting your head on the pillow while the other wraps around your daughter and Hanji, pulling both of them as close as possible.

With a deep breath, they turn off the lights, “you have to close your eyes for this one,” they say quietly, their voice barely louder than a whisper. You aren’t quite sure who they are talking to, so you make sure your daughter’s eyes are closed before shutting your own, the last thing you see is Hanji’s silhouette shifting on the bed.

“It was the middle of winter, one of the worst snowstorms I’ve ever seen in my entire life,” their voice is soothing and filled with a warm sensation, it is enough to awaken the butterflies that had finally settled down in your stomach from your interaction from earlier that night, “you weren’t even in your mommy’s belly yet, in fact, I don’t even think I had plucked you up yet, you were still flying around in a cloud, just waiting for the perfect moment where I would come get you.”

You can hear the faint sound of your child’s giggle as Hanji’s hand pokes her little belly. She’s still wiggling around, partially trying to escape your spouse’s tickle attacks and partially trying her best to find the most comfortable position but with no success.

“Anyway, the power was out and we decided to sleep next to the fireplace, under a massive pile of blankets. It was nice, we roasted some marshmallows for dinner and -”

“But you said I’m not allowed to have candy for dinner!” The sleepy voice comes from between the two of you. You can’t help but giggle in response, your eyes still closed as you place a gentle kiss on top of her little head. Hanji’s fingers still dangle in your hair, a smile stamped on your face the entire time.

“And you aren’t,” they responded with a smile of their own, “we ended up throwing up because we also drank hot chocolate!”

“Don’t tell her that!” You gently slap their arm playfully and they laugh, from the sounds they are making, you can tell they are pretending to be offended. Instead of continuing your fake argument, they continue their story, though you aren’t quite sure why this is the story they are telling.

“We ended up falling fast asleep as soon as we started feeling a little better. In the middle of the night, a really loud and scary sound came crashing down around the house and I remember waking up crying. I wasn’t sure where I was or what was happening. It was dark and…” their voice grew a bit quieter and a bit shaky, just ever so slightly that you would not notice if you hadn’t been together for this long, “it brought back some bad memories about some bad times.”

You reach one hand out to touch their arm, stroking the skin with your nails with just enough pressure not to tickle but not enough that it would hurt them. They let out a small sigh, their eyes closed shut in an attempt to shield their mind from the horrible memories that try to pry into their head. In response, your daughter nuzzles herself against Hanji’s chest, her little eyes closed as she silently comforts her parent.

“It’s ok,” you whisper, your fingers brushing against the skin of their cheek gently, noticing how they seem to be fighting off a few tears. Your voice is quiet and soothing as you look for any words that might come in handy in this situation but when nothing comes to mind, you simply offer them a way out, “you don’t have to keep going, she’s already half asleep.”

“I want to,” they say, placing a kiss on your fingertips and you nod, squeezing their arm softly to let them know that you are not going anywhere. With a deep breath, Hanji continues to tell their story. “My heart was beating so fast I felt like it was about to try and run away from my chest, the power was still out and the cold somehow got worse throughout the night, all I could feel was this horrible feeling in my stomach.”

They fall silent for a tiny bit, checking if your daughter is still awake or not, and, in response, they receive a little nudge from the young girl, her voice faltering as it comes out, “more,” that is all she can say. The two of you can’t help but laugh quietly, knowing that there was no denying your little princess anything her heart desired.

“I was crying for a few seconds until your mother woke up. I remember that she asked me what was wrong and when I couldn’t even talk, she just wrapped her arms around me. She hugged me so tightly that it felt like air wasn’t getting in my lungs but, in that moment, that was all I needed.”

You can feel your face burning up with embarrassment, the memory of that night makes your heart skip a beat as the details are coming back to your mind. It was just an ordinary night for you, one where you helped the person you love as they went through something that wasn’t their fault, so why is this the bedtime story your child wanted to hear?

“Even without knowing what was going on or why I was crying so hard in the middle of the night, she made sure to whisper in my ear that she would be with me no matter what time of day it was, she kept touching my arm in some way throughout the night and, if I’m not wrong, she even sang me to sleep,” they giggle and your face feels like it is heating up from embarrassment.

You want to say something in return, to maybe give some extra details into the memory but their voice is so gentle that the words immediately die in your throat. They continue to speak after a few seconds.

“She never asked me what I needed, she just… knew,” you can feel their eyes on you, even in the dark and you can’t help but look away for a second before feeling their fingers brushing against your face, a silent request to get you to look back at them. You comply with a sigh. “I’ve never had anyone just know what I needed like she did that night, and still does.”

By the time they finish speaking, you can hear the faint breathing of your child in between the two of you and you offer Hanji a smile, placing a strand of your daughter’s hair behind her ear. As you are about to tell your partner that you want to take her to bed, they already beat you to it.

Slowly, you watch as they wrap their arms around her small body, lifting her off the bed as gently as they possibly can. The path to her room was not very long so you found yourself walking in front of Hanji while opening the doors for them, it’s a small gesture but it does not go unnoticed.

Finally, the three of you walk past the door with the pink flower print, making your way into the comforting shade of yellow walls. For some reason, the night light that was once connected to the wall now finds itself on the floor and the two of you suspect that maybe your daughter accidentally unplugged it when moving around her bed, maybe that is the reason why she woke up crying this night and wasn’t able to go back to sleep by herself.

Carefully, they make sure to lay the little girl down on her bed, placing her stuffed animal right next to her on her pillow before tucking the two of them in, placing a small kiss on her forehead and one on the stuffed animal’s just for good luck. You can’t help but giggle in response, it was a ritual that you had developed since the day she was born.

“What was that all about? What even was her request?” You ask quietly as you stand against the doorframe, watching Hanji as they make sure the nightlight is completely plugged into the wall. As they walk past you, they wrap an arm around your waist, pulling you close.

“Well,” the blush on their face is clear as day, even in the darkness that engulfs the hallway, in response to their motion, you wrap your arms around their neck, “she asked me when I knew.” When you offer them a confused look in return, they continue, “That I loved you.”

Their response catches you by surprise and you can’t help but laugh quietly in response, your hands going through their hair before messing up their locks, well, at least making them look even messier than before. Your heart beats quickly in your chest and the butterflies who visited your stomach earlier return once more.

“Oh?” You ask teasingly, a smile stamped on your face like a child on Christmas morning, “That’s when you knew that you loved me?”

In response, with a smile of their own, Hanji nods, their fingers digging into the skin of your hips while their lips meet yours for a quick kiss. “You were always meant to be mine.”

“Always and forever?” You ask, placing your forehead against theirs.

In a hushed voice, barely louder than a whisper, they respond with the same intensity as if they had just screamed it at the top of their longs,

“Always and forever.”

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