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marvelcanon · 3 years
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well... i mean... they’ve made it canon now. Just more reasons why I hate MCU Wanda. 
when you die, your corpse gets stolen for weapons, then your girlfriend goes crazy and resurrects you with dark magic and erases your memories and traps you and an entire town of people in a truman show situation, and now you have two freaky little kids growing at the speed of light and your wife keeps gaslighting you and and the government agency that stole your corpse is labeling her a dangerous terrorist and someone killed your dog and you can't even drink your problems away because you're a robot
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marvelcanon · 7 years
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Slash Fic Gothic
You have blond hair, he has brown hair. You always have blond hair, he always has brown hair. You dye your hair brown, but suddenly his hair is blond, and you feel as though maybe you are him, and he is you, and you have blond hair again, and he has brown hair.
His gaze is impossibly fond, his eyes are impossibly blue, he pulls you impossibly closer, your heart beats impossibly fast, the bulge in his pants is impossibly hard, he should maybe get that checked out.
You don’t remember ever working out and yet you look down and see you have a six pack. When you next see yourself in the mirror you have an eight pack. When he takes of your shirt you have ten, twelve abs. You’re scared to look again in case there are more.
His eyes change colour depending on his moods. At first you thought it was a trick of the light, but now you’re not so sure. They switch between blue, green and grey. Once you thought you saw a flicker of red. You make sure to kiss with your eyes closed now.
You’re white, and so is he. Sometimes he’s your enemy, but you still love him, don’t you? Of course, it makes sense. You’re not sure what you like about him, exactly, but there must be something, right? There’s this intangible thing between you, isn’t there? You feel like you may have more chemistry with your non-white friend, but that can’t be right.
You don’t remember taking your clothes off but you’re naked now. Well, all you remember is toeing out of your shoes. You always toe out of them, although you don’t quite know what that means.
Your pronouns mix into a blur and you no longer know where you end and he begins… You reach out your hand to his hand on his arm… your arm… his… You are sitting and he straddles you but is facing away… There are hands everywhere…
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marvelcanon · 7 years
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ITS CANON MUTHERFUCKERS
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OFFICIALLY SOULMATES AND IN LOVE
Spider-Man/Deadpool #1.MU
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marvelcanon · 8 years
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Making fun of people for their physical mutations is wrong and bigoted. Unless they’re a villain, then it’s ok for the heroes to make fun of their skin conditions, body type, or outright joke about them possibly being demonspawn.
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marvelcanon · 8 years
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I’ll never forgive those pesky mutants for blowing up my hovercraft
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marvelcanon · 8 years
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me: i actually kinda prefer having my arms mutated into tentacles!
bf: plz no
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marvelcanon · 8 years
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I never once actually appeared in my own miniseries.
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marvelcanon · 8 years
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So, not only is my digestive system comprised of two giant, 3 eyed slugs…
they’re also on the outside and roaming free.
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marvelcanon · 8 years
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dude let’s get high off growth hormones and KILL ALL THE HUMANS viva la revolution!!!!!
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marvelcanon · 8 years
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Every time I go home my mother looks different and I have a different number of siblings
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marvelcanon · 8 years
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Some people absorb their twins before birth. I absorbed mine after.
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marvelcanon · 8 years
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exploding vampire suicide
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marvelcanon · 8 years
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Having sex with a girl in front of her mom is ok if you’re flying while you’re doing it
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marvelcanon · 8 years
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In this universe, the professor is a giant alien squid.
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marvelcanon · 8 years
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No that’s not my mom! That’s my girlfriend! She’s the clone of my mom from another dimension, sheesh!
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marvelcanon · 8 years
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I was possessing this woman’s unborn child for the last twenty years yet wrecked Dallas in the last five.
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marvelcanon · 8 years
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I’m from an Ancient Roman colony in Brazil that has been around for thousands of years wait I mean ten years
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