matan4il
matan4il
Happiness is the Perfect Crime
**my content list** (by categories) // my Buddie meta on Tumblr // my Buddie fics on AO3 // my AO3 // ask me anything // header by the amazing evaneddie with a quote from my fic Snow on Palm Trees // avatar by the lovely april
matan4il · an hour ago
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Buck on a call - 5.04 Home and Away
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matan4il · 4 hours ago
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You know what I think we should talk about?
I think we should talk about the fact they have carefully shown us Buck not touch Eddie, I can’t even think of a shoulder brush, this season.
I think we should talk about how Eddie has touched Buck to ground himself during a near panic attack during a call.
The last time Buck touched Eddie was when he was holding the blood in his body. And then the doctors whisked him away.
Let’s talk about that.
Nonnie, you are speaking my language and the language of every single person in this fandom who loves angst. Because goddamnit, yes. Buck was literally holding Eddie together with his very hands, and jhghjg okay, slightly different context, but I actually wrote a Buddie fic about the cognitive dissonance Buck must experience, between how strong and capable he is, and how difficult it must be for him in situations where he's still helpless to save others.
akfdjasd I just realized I posted that 22 whole days before 414 aired! But fuck, it fits so well, and when you think about that mental distress that contrast produces, at no time would it be greater than when Buck can't save Eddie or Chris! We saw that in 303 and in 414, and God, kill me now. Why do they give me all the feels!?
But Chris back in s3 was physically okay, Buck didn't have to watch him get hurt or try to hold him together with his bare hands. He had to do that for Eddie. The guy who more than anyone else has injected Buck's life with new meaning and purpose and love and a sense of belonging, and to hold his injured body, to try to keep all that together with inadequate hands, I'm sorry, but I'm amazed at how strong Buck actually is, that he didn't completely fall apart. And what's the one thing that kept him from that, that kept him going and functioning to the best of his ability? That he had to take care of Chris. He was taking care of their son before he even knew that legally speaking, Chris was theirs, not just Eddie's. I am...
So then it makes so much sense why Buck would be cautious about touching Eddie, feeling unworthy, maybe? Scared of the effect the touch would have on him? And that just reminds me of the one and only, the bard, ol’ Will Shakespeare himself. "If I profane with my unworthiest hand / This holy shrine..." 911, let Buddie resolve this like Romeo and Juliet did, with Eddie assuring Buck his hands are worthy, and with a kiss... is that too much to ask for!?
akdfjha Nonnie, thank you so much for this ask and my apologies for devolving into an emotional mess. Buddie have that effect on me... I hope you're doing well! xoxox
To anyone who sent me an ask, I am going through all of them, thank you so much for your patience! If you wanna check whether I've replied to yours yet, you can have a look at my ask tag. xoxox
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matan4il · 7 hours ago
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#the eddie look
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matan4il · 21 hours ago
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Eddie likes to play with his stick. That’s why he wanted to stick it out.
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matan4il · a day ago
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What gets to me about Tumblr is that some of its functions are fundamentally broken and the staff doesn’t appear to be working on fixing that.
To give you one example, posts often don’t show up in the tags. I can’t tell you how many times this has happened to me. I have not yet found any way of fixing this that works 100% of the time. This includes usertags, so a content creator tagging their friends is not necessarily a fix either.
Another example is that sometimes posts from blogs you follow fail to appear on your dashboard. I discovered this back when I was helping a friend and we figured out from comparing dashboards that even though we were both following the same blogs, we were not getting the same posts from these blogs, even though neither one of us was blocking or blacklisting anything.
I’ve seen people posting about how important reblogs are because Tumblr was built on the principle that content exposure would be enhanced by reblogs. Which is true in the sense that that’s how it was meant to operate.
But without a properly functioning tag system and a reliable dashboard, reblogs do more than just enhance context exposure, sometimes they’re its only source.
So if you see a post that you like, that made you smile, even if only for a second, if you enjoyed a cool gifset, a nice fanart, a cute fic, doesn’t matter if it’s the new Sistine Chapel or of the caliber of War & Peace or not, please consider reblogging it, to support content creators on this site and also to help fellow fans see and enjoy it as well.
Thank you! 💖
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matan4il · a day ago
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Hi! I hope everything goes great! I keep sending you my positive energy! The chapter left me a bit worried... They keep telling Buck that everything is about him, first Chimney, then Eddie and finally Taylor. Also, the fact that Chimney said goodbye to everyone except Buck I think will bring future problems for Buck. Do you think Eddie and Buck ever talked about what happened at the supermarket? Not counting the kitchen scene. Also, Taylor and Buck's hug felt so weird. Thank s, you´re wonderfull
Awww, thank you so much, hon! It's so sweet of you. How are you? I hope YOU are doing well! xoxox
I'm so sorry the ep left you worried! But I honestly am not. I know how Chim left was on a sour note, but it's what we call "a descent for the sake of ascent". He had to leave like that, so that their reconciliation can be more meaningful when he comes back. That way, Chim's absence isn't just a part of a plot where a pregnant actress' character had to be sent away, and then logically that character's partner had to follow, it injects drama and meaning into this plot and makes us crave its resolution... Which I’m sure we will get, once Chim’s back!
As for Eddie and Buck, I have no doubt they did talk about the supermarket argument. Not just in the kitchen scene. The show has shown us repeatedly that these two share information, including the most personal stuff, that they know each other inside and out (just think of how Eddie is the person who's most in the know about Buck being in a therapy session AND why he's having it, back in ep 404), including telling each other things that are deeply personal, emotional, even when these talks aren’t shown on screen, we discover that they did happen. So as part of that, I'm sure they did talk about this subject!
Lastly, yeah. That hug did feel weird, I'm assuming because Buck is not meant to be wrapped up in it, which is very unusual for him (just compare to every single hug he shares with Eddie). Taylor's actress mentioned she had to lower her head so they could film the expression on Buck's face as he gazes into the distance. It shows that despite everything being resolved at the station and Taylor trying to be a good girlfriend, Buck's still sad, worried about his sister. Despite the hug, he's not comforted and he's not at peace... This leads to the phone call from Maddie and him figuring out where she is. I can't wait to see what he's actually going to do about that!
I hope I helped, love? Endless hugs and kisses to you, because you're wonderful yourself! xoxox
To anyone who sent me an ask, I am going through all of them, thank you so much for your patience! If you wanna check whether I've replied to yours yet, you can have a look at my ask tag. xoxox
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matan4il · a day ago
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5x04 -> 4x05 || 4x14:  you don’t know her like I know you
⤷You know me
Keep reading
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matan4il · a day ago
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in a three stick figure crayon picture
with all of us holding hands
Ko-fi - RedBubble
Click images for bigger quality
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matan4il · a day ago
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thrust that ram buck
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matan4il · a day ago
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matan4il · a day ago
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Buck + Eddie - 3.09 Fall Out vs 5.04 Home and Away
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matan4il · a day ago
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“listen, i love you. i know sometimes i’m a little bit of a disappointment. i rarely know what i want or think before i act. still, i want you to know that in a lifetime of rushed decisions, wrong turns and spectacular messes, you’re the first thing that’s felt right.” buddie as beau taplin poems
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matan4il · 2 days ago
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I’m kidding. I’m kidding… Maybe.
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matan4il · 2 days ago
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Love your metas! Question. Do you think we’re actually headed to Buddie canon this season? The first few eps I was convinced yes, now I’m not sure. For me to be convinced they would have to do something even the general audience will notice, and right now I still think they would assume Buck and Eddie are straight (with maybe some eyebrows raised over Eddie given the Ana breakup)
Hi Nonnie! Thank you for the lovely compliment and for the great ask!
I think this reply might partly answer your question? Basically saying that the road for a slow burn is long and it's hard to tell when a show will decide to take that turn towards making the ship happen. It's hard to know even with a ship that canonically has feelings involved. It's way worse when canon has only hinted, not explicitly said, something about feelings. And it's the worst when the ship is same-sex, meaning there are also some external considerations working against the ship going canon (like showrunners' fear of homophobic backlash for "turning a character gay", which is very different to having an established GLBTQ character). And you're right, currently Buddie are assumed to both be straight by the general audience, despite never explicitly identifying as such. I do think, however, that the latter can allow them to play with things a bit, for example at least one of them has always known he's bi, he just never felt the need so far to talk about it, while for the other guy, this would be a chance to recognize he's not as straight as he thought. It can be great material for the show to dig into!
I do think a LOT of signs are there for Buddie going canon in this season in the sense that it will admit on some level that at least one of the guys at least feels something other than platonic friendship for the other man. But I've watched in the past straight couples with established canon one-sided (or even mutual) feelings recognition, where all the signs were there, and the show still tormented the viewers for years over when the ship would materialize and whether it would... So I think there's a good chance we might get some canon confirmation of Buddie being not only friends, but I also think slow burns, especially for a popular ship on a successful show, are always about patience and knowing it will take time. So all I can say is, I have hope, and I also have a lot of patience, 'coz I know it's necessary with slow burns of this type!
Thank you again, lovely! Hope this helped! xoxox
To anyone who sent me an ask, I am going through all of them, thank you so much for your patience! If you wanna check whether I've replied to yours yet, you can have a look at my ask tag. xoxox
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matan4il · 2 days ago
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2x18 “This Life We Choose" ➤ 5x04 “Home and Away” 
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matan4il · 2 days ago
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Relieved thank-god-you're-not-dead-kiss for the lovely @221bsunsettowers <3
Reblog to share<3
my wonderful tagging squad under the cut<3333
@mansikkaomenabanaani @lamalefix @loveyourownsmiilee @imcatchingteardropsinmyhands @ellelans @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @perfectlynervousbeard @lilyemrys @gothambat-nephilim-07 @agentmarymargaretskitz @ipleiade
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matan4il · 2 days ago
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Evan Buckley being nervous (and adorable) about animals in the city.
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