mavywvy

[mavywvy]

The URGE to delete all my socials

[mavywvy]

I know my brain is not right when even thinspo looks fat

#eating disoder #tw: ed thoughts #tw disordered eating #m34nsp0 #meanspø #th1n$po #tw ed in the tags #disordered eating thoughts #tw ed relapse

[mavywvy]

Didnt purge lunch but purged half of my dinner

Guess even my eating disorder needs a break from me once in a while...

#eating disoder #tw: ed thoughts #tw disordered eating #3atingdisord3r #tw 3d #tw ed in the tags #tw eating issues

[mavywvy]

Nvm ima go purge my lunch

#eating disoder #tw: ed thoughts #tw disordered eating #tw 3d #3atingdisord3r

[mavywvy]

Someone took my eating disorder

GIVE IT BACK! I WANT MY ED BACK

Please it's a personal gift from my family! I can't lose it 😭

Now I don't care about weighing normally but still I have around 30% body fat and I don't like that, I don't count cals but I still ristrict, I don't weigh myself but I don't want to get over a specific no.

I wanna maintain my weight and gain muscle but I have no time to work out my finals are very close, and don't wanna gain weight during that time...

#eating disoder #tw: ed thoughts #tw disordered eating #tw ed relapse #tw ed vent #tw ed in the tags #tw eating issues #3atingdisord3r #tw 3d #Am I even anorexic at this point?

[mavywvy]

Me, my mom and brother all weighed ourselves

And my mom said to me "50kg is perfect for your body, if you lose weight you will look like a skeleton and if you gain weight than you'll look bad, so try to keep this weight"

I mean she is not wrong... But- I can be 50kg and have more muscle mass then fat...

#eating disoder #tw: ed thoughts #tw disordered eating #tw ed relapse #3atingdisord3r #tw 3d #tw ed in the tags #tw eating issues

[mavywvy]

I hate/love exam season

I don't know why...

[mavywvy]

No.. I need an eating disorder

Without it what am I?

#eating disoder #tw: ed thoughts #tw disordered eating #3atingdisord3r #eat1ng d1sorder #tw ed in the tags #tw eating issues #eating problems #disordered eating thoughts

[mavywvy]

I can't tell if im anorexic or a wannabe anorexic or if I have a binge eating disorder

Or maybe if I simply just chug down 24 pills id no longer have to question anything

#eating disoder #tw: ed thoughts #tw disordered eating #3atingdisord3r #tw 3d #tw ana thoughts #4n0r3x14

[mavywvy]

Me- why did I eat that much? I wasn't even hungry ...

*Me 15 min later*

Oh I got my period ...

[mavywvy]

(My brain currently)

Come on, why don't you eat more?

Oh, is it cuz you gained weight?

Is it cuz you look fat?

Is it cuz people no longer tell you that you look sick?

What is it darling? What's the problem? Why don't you eat more?

Why won't you listen to that little voice in the back if your head that says "eat it's healthy"?

Why?

Cuz you no longer have control?

Cuz everyone found out?

You feel weak?

#eating disoder #tw: ed thoughts #tw disordered eating #tw ed relapse #tw ed vent #tw ed in the tags #tw eating issues #3atingdisord3r #tw 3d #4na thoughts

[mavywvy]

I just found the best way to prevent procrastination and how to get work done on time or even how to study ..

Simply give yourself tasks

And for every task you DONT do you have to eat 300 calories

If you DO COMPLETE the task you get to skip or burn it or whatever you'd like

(im gonna start following this.. Giving myself daily tasks and portions to study if I don't finish I have to receive my punishment )

#eating disoder #tw: ed thoughts #tw disordered eating #tw self destructive behavior #m34nsp0 #meanspø #th1n$po #3atingdisord3r #4na thoughts #4n0r3x14 #tw ana thoughts #ana trigger #academic validation #If I don't pass this year ill simply kms<3

[mavywvy]

Where can I find toxic study motivation?

#i want to kms #student #studystudystudy #study motivation #academic validation

[mavywvy]

This year has the highest no.of hospital visits...

[mavywvy]

That feeling when someone younger than you sits and eats less than you do ..

Like WHY TF YOU YELLING AT ME AND NOT HER?

She is eating 2tbs FOR A MEAL

BITCH

And I'm called anorexic ..

I'm utterly/very much upset..

I fucking hate this family...

Your telling me that my cousin can eat 2 tbs and I have to eat 3 cups of rice for my grandma to feel satisfied

Seriously fuck it all

But it doesn't matter cuz ill most definitely die before this year ends

[mavywvy]

I absolutely love how my mom will show my girls recovering from anorexia on tiktok and then say "omg she looks so scary she is all bones, she looks dead, she has no muscle.. I can see her bones "

Like yes.. She is aware ...

And what does that have to do with me?

I gain for the sake of making you and grandma shut up about me ...

I'm actually jealous of the girls she shows me..they are willingly gaining and they are comfortable with it..

Idk how my mom expects me to start eating when she shows me people recovering ??..

Like the whole point is to end up dead .. If after all this I don't die.. Then all this damage is not good enough .. Its just damage

[mavywvy]

Fun fact for y'all

If your insanely hunger for no reason over a period of time

Just drink a cup of milk or 2

Your body dosn't want the food

It wants calcium

#eating disoder #tw: ed thoughts #tw disordered eating #3atingdisord3r #tw 3d #tw ed relapse #tw ed in the tags #tw eating issues