maygranted

[maygranted]

adding this because the line "buck is a very, i wouldn't say selfish person, but he makes a lot of issues about himself when they aren't" is so deeply hyper responsibility coded to me <3

I saw your post about Buck being OCD-coded! Can you please say more?? I’ve always read him as being ADHD-coded and I’d love to hear more!

omg ofc i’d love to! i do apologise for how long this post is going to be 😭

so to start off, this all began bc my friend (who has adhd) really related to buck and i (who has ocd) also really related to him so we were like hmm wait a second… adhd AND ocd???

anyway i think one part of him that’s just v ocd coded to me (but also definitely is in combination with rsd from his adhd) is how he tends to catastrophise situations. like he has such severe abandonment issues to the point where he actively obsesses over it, here’s an example !!!

BUCK: Starts out small. Uh, she's-she's canceling plans. She's got to work. She needs to wash her hair or do her laundry, and before you know it, poof. Dropping them off at the airport and never seeing them again.

HEN: Okay, Buck, you're being a little too Buck about this.

like it’s just a very irrational line of thought and u can see how hen says oh you’re being a little too buck abt this bc it’s common for him to exaggerate situations he obsesses over in his mind. and then in turn to alleviate this anxiety somehow he begins to cling bc all his irrational thoughts are telling him that people will leave

and then ofc there’s the situation where after chimney’s left he feels so heavily responsible for it (responsibility ocd ) to the point where he says he’ll leave the 118. like that’s such an irrational line of thought that his mind has catastrophised from obsessing over it.

and then also the tsunami episodes <3 like ofc he feels responsible for chris it’s a normal response but the way he actively obsesses over losing chris and that that makes him a terrible person and he has such severe guilt over it is just v moral ocd and responsibility ocd to me? so he searches for chris to the point where he’s severely dehydrated and bleeding and he still doesn’t stop that’s just a v obsessive thing to me does that make sense??

here’s an explanation of hyper-responsibility related to ocd, which btw sounds very buck coded to me:

But what happens when someone overestimates their responsibility? What happens when someone feels that they can control things that they cannot actually control? These feelings might even seep into relationships—feeling like they can control how someone else feels, or feeling that they are responsible for making everyone happy or content. This can create people-pleasing patterns and make them constantly feel the need to put others’ needs in front of their own. This can look like saying yes to things they do not want to do but feel they need to do, lest someone get upset with them. Or, they may think, “If I don’t do this, then something bad might happen.” […]

Anxiety and guilt are often at the root of an inflated sense of responsibility. The person with OCD thinks of all the possible repercussions of not acting in a particular scenario. They feel guilty for possible negative outcomes, often engaging in magical thinking—believing that their ideas, thoughts, actions, or other things can impact the world around them. This results in compulsions, which can take on many different forms; for some, it may involve very detailed rituals they feel they must perform to prevent something very specific from occurring. For others, it may be a vague need to do something “just in case” or to feel like everyone will be safe.

and then ofc there’s my gifset where he’s developed a compulsion bc he’s scared he’s still in a coma so he has a list of things he checks </3

anyway i feel like a huge part of this is definitely also projecting bc i personally struggle with moral ocd and responsibility ocd and a lot of guilt bc of that but it’s just something i’ve noticed a lot with buck, how his mind is constantly jumping to the worst, most irrational conclusion (and irrationality IS a huge part of intrusive thoughts) and so in turn he either feels the need to fix it (bc it’s HIS responsibility in his mind!) by distancing himself bc he’s the problem or clinging. trying to fix something that isn’t even a problem that needs fixing or isn’t even ur responsibility to fix is just a very ocd coded thing to me <3 and i think a lot of this is definitely more related to mental compulsions which a lot of people don’t really know abt and instead assume ocd is just the stereotypical compulsions (washing hands, organising etc which ARE ofc things that happen but it’s not just that!) so he v much falls into that “irrational thought / obsession” —> anxiety, uncertainty, guilt —> compulsion (trying to fix shit, apologising, reassurance) cycle u see with ocd.

i hope this made sense somehow and ty for asking, as u can see i love talking abt this :)) also it’s absolutely ok to disagree with me on this, it’s just something i personally noticed and really identified with due to my own ocd, i just hope i did a good job of explaining it!

#BUCK ADHD OCD LIVES! #evan buckley #911 meta #911 abc #txt

[maygranted]

omg yes this is totally also an ocd thing to me! when people say "buck makes things about himself" it can sound like they're calling him selfish, but really what i think it is is that his mind shifts the blame onto himself, even if it's something completely outside his control, so he feels compelled to fix it (but ultimately cannot really, because it's just his mind telling him that it's something he caused). and sometimes it's also that your brain catastrophises situations and obsessively overthinks them. so with eddie's fighting, he may obsessively think about what he could have done to prevent it because HE wasn't there, in his mind it's HIS fault that this happened, what if he had been there? ultimately, you get so caught up in your obsessions and guilt that your brain literally convinces you that it's completely logical that it's your fault. and all of these are patterns i notice a lot with buck too so <3

I know people are focusing on the “I love him either way” part of this, but the “makes a lot of issues about himself” part stuck out to me.

Because a few times over the course of the show, it’s been said that Buck makes things about himself when they’re not. Like with Eddie and the fighting ring or with Red.

I had heard before about how neurodivergent people often relate their own stories to a conversation as a way to make connections and better understand things. This is Anecdotal Conversation. Autistic people and people with ADHD can do this.

I feel like this is what Buck did with Red. But with the fighting, he more so put all the blame and responsibility for it on himself. Which is also something that people with ADHD do.

(I’ve also seen @maygranted say that people with OCD can tend to catastrophise situations and put responsibility on themselves which definitely sounds like something Buck does)

#im not sure if this makes any sense at all #also sorry for the late reply i only just saw this! #BUT YEAH you're totally right this can also be ocd to me! #the buck adhd ocd hc lives to ME <3 #anyway thank you for tagging me here this is so cool and i'm v happy that u thought of the buck ocd post <3 #evan buckley

[maygranted]

Wait, Tommy's gay?

#WE WONNNN

[maygranted]

buck went on a date with a man. buck told maddie about going on a date with a man. buck told eddie about going on a date with a man. buddie hug happened. buck held a man’s hand in public. buck apologized for the way he acted but also knows he can take his time with his journey because it’s his journey. this happened. i am not making this up. i never lose. holy shit

[maygranted]

Buck & Tommy in the new 7.05 sneak peak.

#HES SO???

[maygranted]

How long have you been leaning in the other direction?

#his unserious ally ass…

[maygranted]

anyone else have any other thought since thursday? no? cool me neither

[maygranted]

Well done to Charles who had to fight demons, common sense, god himself, a race strategy that had us all ??????, and yet... He ended up fourth

#he was fighting the prancing horse himself #charles

[maygranted]

Everyone needs a safe space, a place where you can fully be yourself.

[maygranted]

[maygranted]

9-1-1. 7.04 Buck, Bothered and Bewildered [details]

[maygranted]

you guys are getting queerbaited big time but its kinda beautiful to see in 2024. firemen arent gay everybody knows that.....

[maygranted]

it's like that thing when you meet somebody and you just click. you know what i mean?

#what if i went insane rn

[maygranted]

also let's be serious right now okay. the choice to have tommy call buck "evan" was so inspired, because as this journey begins for him, the healing has to start from the very core. and before buck was ever buck, he was evan. evan was the core of all his insecurities and his hurt. what buck is hurting from is what evan has been hurting from this whole time

and now, he's free and he can start healing. and evan has to heal first. evan gets to learn and figure things out with tommy as his guide and that's beautiful. tommy is there to guide evan so that buck can face the world. so that buck can get what the core of what he really wants, and who he's been looking for this whole time. tommy will allow evan to be seen and heal in this new light, but we know who's been seeing buck this whole time

[maygranted]

we literally got an oh moment. we witnessed buck's oh moment and it was so beautiful because oliver loves buck as much as we do and we are just so lucky

[maygranted]

[maygranted]

BI BUCK CONFIRMED FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!