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maypotato · 4 months
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acid reflux is caused by evil spirits trying to deprive you of energy by making it painful to consume essential foods such as burger and coca cola. you must push through the pain or you'll never be strong enough to defeat them
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maypotato · 6 months
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maypotato · 8 months
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the demons in hell must be having a riot there's all these rumors about crowley and aziraphale dating and allegedly theres a picture of them together and then 90 years later you hear that a demon and angel ran off to alpha centauri and you're like oh must be crowley and aziraphale they've been a thing for ages but NO its your boss beelzebub (ex boss now, apparently) and heaven's supreme archangel fucking gabriel. like how do you go back to work after hearing this
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maypotato · 10 months
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maypotato · 11 months
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i saw a girl on tiktok who put her salt lamp in the dishwasher and didn’t realize it would dissolve, and it’s been on my mind for like 3 days
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maypotato · 1 year
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maypotato · 1 year
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My friend got pregnant at 17. Deeply religious family (she would be kivked out if they found out), one night stand, she just could NOT have the baby. Thing is we live in a country where abortion is illegal. Our only option was to illegally buy some pills online and hope they worked and we didnt go to jail
But these are hecking expensive and we needed to rush
So i set up a twitter/fb/insta/furaffinity/etc account and advertised my furry art EVERYWHERE. Im not that good but i said id draw basically anything no matter how weird (not cub art or anything illegal). I got a lot of weird coms (vore, scat, inflation and some i dont even understand) and for two weeks i did nothing but draw weird shit all day. My hand hurt so bad, but i got the money.
We spent a week afraid we'd been scammed and afraid we'd get caught, then a weekend afraid my friend might die once we did the procedure in my house. But it worked
I never told her how i got the money and i never will. Id rather die than tell her i funded her illegal abortion by drawing the wolf from robin hood swallowing robin through his belly button. Im pretty sure she thinks i was a prostitute for those two weeks and id rather her think that
To this day i gift her condoms on her bd as a joke bc im never doing that again
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maypotato · 1 year
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if you c*nsor anything in a post you are l*gally required to put all of the omitted v*wels at the end as a footn*te
*eeoo
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maypotato · 1 year
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It's still so strange to me how apparently taboo it is to like a post on someone's Instagram from a month ago when there are posts still circulating on Tumblr from 1550 BCE
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maypotato · 1 year
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I play rhythm games on mute whilst listening to a completely different song
you need to see a doctor
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maypotato · 1 year
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LOOK WHOS VOICING MARIO IN JAPANESE ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️
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maypotato · 1 year
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"are you a jiang cheng apologist" no, because what the fuck does Jiang Cheng have to apologise for
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maypotato · 1 year
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maypotato · 2 years
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still recovering from yesterday's events on twitter
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maypotato · 2 years
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Neon Pink Shoelaces $12.00
For you, Mr. President.
Laces are 58 inches long. 85% polyester and 15% cotton.
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maypotato · 2 years
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guys
if i ever see any of you in public, the code is “i like your shoelaces”
that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything
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maypotato · 2 years
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I love my characters so much, I wish I could draw
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