mayunnaise21

[mayunnaise21]

[mayunnaise21]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEEL & BELPHIE!!! 🎂🎂

[mayunnaise21]

[mayunnaise21]

[mayunnaise21]

cant believe i’ve never shared arguably the funniest dms i’ve ever gotten in my life

[mayunnaise21]

[mayunnaise21]

[mayunnaise21]

Incorrect quotes with la squadra

not proof read or spell checked, we die like men

y/n:what time is it?

Formaggio:idk let me check ‘pickups trumpet and starts playing it”

Ghiaccio from upstairs: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE TRUMPET AT 5 IN THE MORNING?!

Formaggio: it's 5 :)

Melone:you know that's gonna kill your guys eventually right?

Risotto puring another glass of whisky: that's the point

Prosciutto:we are trying to speed up the process

y/n:’nods while eating raw cookie dough’

Ghiaccio: Anyone wanna start a possibly friendship shattering fight?

Y/n: centaurs have six limbs meaning they are insects

Ghiaccio: i was joking but now you've crossed the line

risotto: Time for plan G.

prosciutto: Don’t you mean plan B?

risotto: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

prosciutto: What about plan D?

formaggio: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

prosciutto: What about plan E?

risotto: I’m hoping not to use it. y/n dies in planE.

ghiaccio: I like plan E.

*The squad right before y/n 's wedding*

risotto: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend.

prosciutto: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too!

pesci: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well

illuso: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND

melone, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE

ghiachio:FUCK I HAVE A WEDDING I HAVE TO GET MARRIED AT

y/n: How many kids do you have?

melone: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?

y/n: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.

ghiaccio: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.

illuso: What do you think y/n will do for a distraction?

formaggio: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

formaggio: ... or they could do that.

y/n: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night.

illuso: You were flirting with risotto.

y/n: So what? He's my partner.

illuso: You asked him if he was single.

y/n:

illuso: And then you cried when he said he wasn't.

fun fact of the post: me and my friends dressed as the main vento aureo gang for the animation release

[mayunnaise21]

[mayunnaise21]

[mayunnaise21]

[mayunnaise21]

the bravery of a girl who has to decide what is for dinner and then cook it and then wash dishes every day forever and ever.

[mayunnaise21]

made some gifs since i could not find any

she's an icon and she is the moment

[mayunnaise21]

when youre tired on public transit and start thinking "let me rest my eyes a bit" thats the devil talking

[mayunnaise21]

How Jealous Are Genshin Boys

...ranked in order from most to least jealous

Info: Characters include Kazuha, Zhongli, Scaramouche, Xiao, Diluc, Childe, and Kaeya. Part 2 to my genshin girls! Warnings: Possessive behavior, possibly toxic relationships?

Xiao is easily the most jealous. He's spent hundreds of years in solitude, allowing the years and the people within them to pass him by. If he's making an exception in this policy for you, you have to be someone very special to him. He would die for you - live for you - and he's not about to let someone swoop you away. The feeling of jealousy is unfamiliar to him, all he knows is he wants to purge it immediately. He's overprotective in general and always keeps a close eye on anyone who seems to be getting close to you, but if that relationship even slightly appears to be going further than that, well... That's not going to end well at all. He tries to convince himself he's doing it to protect you; it isn't really the truth, though, it's far more for his peace of mind.

"I don't understand this feeling I have when I see you with them... Promise me you'll stay away from now on. It's for your safety - I don't trust them at all, you should take my advice."

Scaramouche hardly lets anyone near you in the first place, so he doesn't get jealous quite as often as Xiao. He genuinely does this to keep you safe. He knows his position puts you in a great amount of danger, so keeping you mostly hidden from anyone who could have ill intentions is a good way to avoid harm coming to you. Still, it eventually got too difficult to keep you away from the prying eyes of his fellow harbingers, and so you - unfortunately - met Childe. It would be less of an issue if any old fool tried to flirt with you or catch your eye, but when it's him, it's personal. Childe makes it some kind of twisted game. Flirt with you in front of Scaramouche, accept the threats of violence, and repeat. Though he'd never admit it out loud, Scaramouche just really doesn't want to lose you. He's never loved someone the way he loves you. You know all of his deepest secrets and vulnerabilities - most things he had never told another soul. If he were to ever lose you, he knows he would also lose himself. You were the one and only being he wanted to remain by his side for eternity. The thought of you being led astray by Childe of all people made him feel sick to his stomach. His internal panic would manifest in the form of violent anger - never directed toward you, he'd never lay a hand on you.

"If he keeps looking at you like that, I'm going to kill him just to bring him back to life so he can die again. I'm not bluffing; you think this is funny?!"

Kazuha knows he can trust you...most of the time, anyway. He doesn't get more than a bit irritable if somebody flirts with you, especially if he's there at your side to turn them away. Other members of the Crux are a different story. You see those people everyday, which means they've got at least a chance with you, right? People on the Crux are like family. They form close, life-long bonds; previously, this closeness was something Kazuha valued greatly, but when it comes other male members of the fleet exhibiting this closeness with you... Well, he may need a bit of reassurance. He's not a stranger to loneliness, but that doesn't mean he wants it to take hold of him again. His free moments are now filled with your idle humming and the warm press of your side against his own, why would he want to lose that? He knows he's being illogical most of the time, so he'd never lash out at you. Just give him a little extra attention and he'll be right back to normal!

"We should spend some extra time together today, just the two of us. I've got some new poems I've been meaning to share."

Childe is a flirt himself, so he must be totally chill, right? ...right? In all seriousness, he's not so bad. He knows you wouldn't do anything behind his back and trusts you only have eyes for him. He's just a tad bit possessive and doesn't enjoy having other eyes on you. He probably won't ever voice his concerns to you aloud; it's much easier if he just confronts whatever nuisance is hindering you himself.

"I was just...chatting with an old friend, love. What? No, I don't think he looks frightened at all, you must be seeing things."

Diluc only gets worried once every so often. He wouldn't let anybody close to him that he didn't trust wholeheartedly. You are his world, the love of his life, and he knows distrust will only get in the way of that. However, he's not completely immune. Occasionally, he'll need some nighttime reassurance that he's the only one and always will be, but it's so rare you hardly think anything of it. Other than that, there is one certain thing that always seems to tick him off...Kaeya. Seeing you being friendly with his adopted brother always makes him feel possessive. If he didn't have his reputation to consider, he'd march over and claim your lips right in front of Kaeya. In fact, reputation be damned, he just might.

"You know my brother is so touchy with you to make me angry, right? How infuriating. I bet you've been conspiring with him, too, haven't you? Oh yes, laugh, it's sooo hilarious."

Kaeya doesn't get jealous - well, at least not that you've ever seen... Try and try to make him jealous, it will never work. He'll keep teasing you for it, asking what you get out of it flirting with other men at the bar when he's right here, but he never seems bothered by it. Little do you know, his leg is bouncing anxiously under the table as you make yet another show for him. Flirting (in an entirely out of character way) with another attendee, all while making eye contact with Kaeya. It's become a little game for the both of you, trying to see how far you can push. One day, just maybe, he'll finally break.

"Enough with that game for tonight, dearest. I don't like the way they look at you. Hm? I don't think you've won at all, don't be ridiculous, I'm not - Hey, that wasn't a challenge to try again."

Zhongli has truly never been jealous. You don't try to make him jealous, nor is there anything for him to be jealous about. He's lived thousands of years, and only really settled down with you. He knows you inside and out, and he's confident in your feelings for him. Not even Childe's pesky flirtation can get to him, he simply laughs it off. Sometimes it even bothers you that he hasn't shown the least bit of concern over it. You've asked him, and it's always the same answer:

"Why would I concern myself with his antics when I know I'm the one who sleeps beside you each night? I'm the one who knows all your favorite foods, the one who gets to call you mine, the one who can hold your hand. He has nothing that can get between that."

[mayunnaise21]

“x reader is so cringe.” to YOU. im reading this shit and having a ball ‼️

[mayunnaise21]

Heartbreaking: girl has to get out of bed