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mdotmaro · 3 years
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Does anyone ever mourn for the fact they out grew one of their favorite book series?
RIP Blue Bloods
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I will remember you fondly in the joy once brought
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mdotmaro · 3 years
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Revamping it up!
I have been writing Fanfiction since I was 11 and posting since then as well. I have decided to revise some of my older stories to do them a bit more justice. First up is my Fairy Tail Next Gen story Called Poision Roses. Please feel free to give it a read and if you like it a little review ;) https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9224666/1/Poison-Roses
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mdotmaro · 3 years
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The god damned dream
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mdotmaro · 3 years
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POSTING DAY YA"LL
I mean if you feel so inclined, take a read through my writings on
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mdotmaro · 3 years
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"Morning Routine" edition of Verses
What I Imagine Versus Reality
A mile run to start the day! vs Walking my dogs
A vigorous workout
to get the blood pumping! vs Passive Yoga at best
A hearty breakfast! vs Coffee and a granola bar
Selfcare before work vs Quick shower and messy bun, but hey at least I'm clean
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mdotmaro · 3 years
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Magnificent and painfully accurate
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the inexplicably bizarre science of writing fan fiction. just me, or can anyone else relate?
this is the dumbest thing i’ve drawn with my bare minimum art skills but i am so mad right now, and i just… had a moment of insanity during my fanfic spiral.
edit: “time to get to work”. there’s a typo because of course there is.
edit 2: i made a part 2, cuz im dumb :) 
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mdotmaro · 3 years
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cartoon network commercial from 2004
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mdotmaro · 3 years
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Winging It.
Chapter 2
Author's Note: I am so ecstatic at the reviews you all have left. I appreciate every kind word and am only mildly afraid of constructive criticisms :). I am going to continue this story along with a vague idea of what happens next. Confession time: I see much of my own relationship with Casey and Derek. No, not step-siblings, just their connection. The club scene with the drunken dancing and then kissing… yeah, that actually happened to us. Extra fun fact is that I was his boss at the time :P ANYWAY! Onto the main event.
"So, the glory of the stage wasn't all that in the end?" Lizzy assumed as she carefully packed Casey's dishware into the appropriately labeled boxes. Marti was on bathroom duty, and Nora was working on linens while Casey was backing her clothes and shoes. Casey's announcement to leave New York and go back to school for business with a minor in dance was warmly welcomed. Nora admitted that she was selfishly glad that Casey would only be a few hours away by car instead of a plane ride away. Marti was more curious about what happened. The now ten-year-old went through Casey's bathroom with precision to see if there was any clue her step-sister was hiding.
"Did Jessie do something stupid?" Marti asked from her perch on the bathtub. Casey gave a short laugh.
"No, he didn't. Even if he did, it doesn't matter. We broke up months ago. He was just a summer romance." Casey said with a reassuring smile. Marti narrowed her eyes, not entirely convinced. Casey desperately wanted to change the subject, so she moved to Lizzie, who was tapping up the last kitchen box.
"So, speaking of summer romances. Have you heard from Oscar, Lizzie?" Casey asked abruptly; Lizzie slipped and cut off a much longer piece of tape than was needed. She glared at her older sister, who mouthed 'sorry' to the now blushing teen. Lizzie cleared her throat.
"Oscar lives in Parkhill, and we have a date over at the skatepark over there. He is going to teach me to skateboard." Lizzie said and quickly picked up the box and scurried off downstairs to the car. Marti came out of the bathroom with her box and a confused expression.
"But Lizzie already knows how to skateboard. She taught Edwin and me," Marti said, and Nora giggled and took Marti in a light hug.
"Yes, but Oscar doesn't know that," Nora said with a smile, and Marti shrugged, still not understanding but not invested enough to keep asking. Casey, Nora, and Marti went downstairs for the last time and finished packing the moving truck. Casey would fly back with the girls, and after a weekend at home, she would go to Queens to start the Summer semester.
Normally Casey loved falling asleep on long flights, but her heart was beating too fast for her to relax. Derek had left New York from his short trip to see Casey two weeks ago, and they were still 'Winging it,' so to speak. They talked nearly every night, more or less the usual banter and teasing, but there was something else there. It was impossible to tell how the family would react to the eldest step-siblings 'winging it,' so they had both agreed not to say anything until they were sure. Casey was relieved she could convince Nora and George that she could live by herself in a dorm instead of in an apartment with Derek. They were afraid of her being alone, but she quickly reminded them that she had lived alone in another country for six months and did just fine.
Besides, the idea of them living together so soon after they...they kissed. Casey absentmindedly touched her lips in the memory of those hot at heavy sessions at the club and in her room. She unconsciously clenched her thighs together. They didn't move past the over clothing caresses and kissing. Casey had tried having sex with Jessie, and by tried, she means tried to go for longer than a few seconds because it was just too painful. Jessie wouldn't pressure her to go any further than she was willing, but coincidentally after the third time they tried having sex with no success, Jessie came over to say things were not working out.
Casey had been relieved, but now what? Derek, Casey imagined, had a lucrative sex life in university, and now that they were... whatever they were. How could she tell him that sex was so painful for her?
"Casey. Your cuticles are bleeding." Lizzie said, snapping Casey out of her intense thoughts. She had been peeling the excess skin at her cuticle, and sure enough, little garnet bubbles of blood had appeared around her nails. Casey quickly wrapped her especially mutilated middle finger in a napkin and applied pressure.
"What's wrong?" Lizzie asked and then peered over to the aisle across from them where Marti and Nora seemed to be sound asleep. "It's just me. You can tell me, and then it could make up for totally throwing me under the bus earlier." Lizzie teased and poked at Casey's side. Casey gave her little sister a guilty smile.
"Sorry again about that," Casey sighed and contemplated telling Lizzie everything. Her little sister was extremely mature for her age, but she adored Derek like a blood brother, and Casey knew that this would be jarring even if Lizzie acted supportively. Casey decided on half-truths.
"I am nervous about having sex," Casey whispered, and Lizzie furrowed her brows.
"But you and Jessie never?" Lizzie asked, and Casey let out a heavy sigh.
"We tried, but it was just too painful," Casey admitted, and then Lizzie shook her head.
"From what I have researched, sex is not supposed to hurt. You are not really even supposed to bleed because of your 'broken hymen.' If it hurts that much, he is doing it wrong." Lizzie explained, and Casey couldn't help but smile at her sister. Of course, she researched sex. A quick flush of panic ran through Casey, and she looked at her baby, 14-year-old sister. Had she already had sex? Lizzie laughed at her expression.
"Relax, I haven't had sex yet. Not really interested yet, but I have plenty of condoms when I am ready, and I will make sure I have mom or George take me to get the pill. Casey stared at Lizzie, quite impressed.
"Have you told Nora and George about your well-calculated plan? And where did you get condoms?" Casey was trying to keep her volume down not to alert the other plane passengers. Lizzie shrugged.
"George kept having to leave the conversation to go outside and get some air, but mom was glad I am being responsible, and I got the condoms from Edwin," Lizzie explained. Casey had a brief moment to imagine sweet George trying to compose himself at the idea of his stepdaughter having sex. Casey was sure that he would need therapy after Marti hit puberty.
"And where did Edwin get condoms?" Casey asked incredulously and then realized at the same that Lizzie said
"Derek," they both said in unison. Maybe it was naive, but Casey, the thought of her little siblings being open to the idea of having sex made her queasy. Casey's finger stopped bleeding, and she tucked the bloody napkin into her now empty bag of pretzels.
"Don't worry, things will happen naturally, and now if you want to bail, you can use Derek as an excuse," Lizzie tried to reassure. Unfortunately, her timing was awful, and Casey choked on her water that she had been drinking. Lizzie smacked her back hard, and a few curious passengers turned to check on the commotion. Casey finally regained the ability to breathe and nervously laughed at Lizzie.
"And what would Derek do?" She asked, trying not to sound shrill. Lizzie smiled at her sister.
"Oh well, he can play the role of overly protective brother," Lizzie said but then tilted her head in thought. "I mean, he wouldn't do it for free" She laughed. Casey gave Lizzie a small smile and let out a deep breath, and continued to look out the window. Maybe she was getting ahead of herself. She and Derek hadn't even been on an official date yet. Sure they had gone to eat in the city and run around central park and even went to an amusement park but had those counted as dates? I mean, they held hands through the corn maze, but Derek insisted it was because he didn't feel like chasing after her when she inevitably got lost.
Casey smiled at the memories. Something else that made her chest flutter was waking up next to Derek. She missed being held while she fell asleep, but it's not like they could do that right away at university. There were rules. Weren't there?
Edwin had just passed his driver's license and was glad to volunteer to pick them up at the airport. He had seemed to have grown several centimeters in the six months Casey had been away and now was slightly taller than her.
"Edwin, look at you!" Casey said as she attacked him in a bear hug. Edwin grinned and twirled so she could see his new and improved preppy wardrobe too. His jeans seemed uncomfortably tight, and his polo was maybe a bit snug, but his face was losing its baby softness, and he had a ghost of a mustache on his upper lip.
"I know, your little brother Edwino is all grown up and looking cool," He said, and Casey couldn't help pinching his cheek.
"Aww, you are so cute." She said, and he shrugged off her pinching.
"Casey, cute isn't cool. I am a man now." Edwin protested. Marti laughed as she passed her brother.
"Really, you're a man now. Why didn't we get the memo." She snickered, and Lizzie laughed as she went into the backseat to join Marti. Nora squeezed Edwin's shoulder reassuringly.
"Aw, don't listen to them, Edwin. We know you are a man, and speaking of which, we can start talking about when you can pay for your car insurance," Nora said, and Edwin gulped. Casey road in the back with the girls and Nora road shotgun. They were all talking animatedly, talking about school, Simon, and generally anything in the neighborhood. Casey was excited to see Emily. They had coordinated to see each other the next evening. Casey was hoping to talk to Emily about her and Derek, just to be able to talk to someone for advice. Emily and Derek broke up a week after graduation; things just seemed a bit forced. After having a crush on someone for so long, it was hard not to be crushed by the heavy expectation of a perfect ending. Emily actually was discovering a newer side of her sexuality and actually had a steady girlfriend, Ruby.
The house came into view, and before she could get swept up in the nostalgia, her heart dropped to her toes at the sight of the prince in the driveway.
"Wait. Why is Derek here? He isn't supposed to pick me up until Sunday?" Casey asked in a loud and almost shrill voice. Nora sighed.
"He was able to come down for the weekend. Isn't this great, Casey? The whole family gets to spend time together before you both go off to University. So, try to be civil, please." Nora pleased, and Casey sighed and nodded to her mother. George came out with a crying Simon. Casey had been right on her assumption that he had doubled in size. Poor George looked exhausted but smiled at his eldest step-daughter warmly nonetheless.
"Casey, it's great to see you," He said, and Casey hugged him and reached for Simon. The baby was pink-cheeked and bundled in a light green onesie. Casey started cooing at little Simon and rocking him lightly.
"Careful, he just projectile vomited on Derek," George warned after he kissed Nora. Casey chuckled.
"Knowing Derek, he probably deserved it," Casey said with the same cooing voice. She was surprised at how quickly the jeer came to her. Old habits, she guessed.
"Well, he is taking a shower now, so you'll have some time to get settled before you two go at each other's throats," George said and took her dance bag from her shoulder. Casey thanked him and went to sit on the couch.
"Oh hey, Casey, I hope you don't mind. We had to do a little room rearrangement with both you and Derek gone. We moved Edwin into Derek's room and Simon into his old room, and yours into a guest bedroom, so If you don't mind sharing the space with Derek's things. While you're here." Nora said and then clarified after seeing Casey's wide eyes. "Just his things; he will be taking the couch at night." Casey might have a nervous breakdown before the end of the weekend.
Simon started reaching out his tiny pale fists towards Nora, who happily collected her baby. Lizzie dragged Casey up to show her how she redecorated her room, and such was the process for the other two Venturi children. Casey retreated into her old room, now a guest bedroom, and exhaled against the door. She assessed the room. Gone were her ballet trophies and academic achievement awards. Now there was a pale yellow walled, neutral sandalwood furnished and fluffy white carpeted room. Derek's battered duffle bag was on the cream-covered bed. Casey swallowed thickly and thought back to her conversation on the plane with Lizzie. Derek had given condoms to Edwin. Did he pack any for this weekend? Was he expecting something to happen in their parents' home? She had only just begun to unzip the bag when a voice came up behind her.
"Snooping, Case?" Casey shuddered at Derek's warm breath on the back of her neck. Casey jumped and reflexively swung a pillow at Derek.
"Der-rek, you scared me." She shouted and then took an extra step back when she realized that he was shirtless and slightly damp from the shower. Derek had always been lean, but there was a new indent of muscles, especially at the v of his hips from piling more hours at the rink in university, and Casey forced her eyes to stay now lower than his collar bones.
"Yeah, but you were still snooping. What's up Casey, you seem a bit flushed?" He said with a level of sarcastic concern; he couldn't keep the mischief out of his dark eyes. Casey kept her chin held high.
"I just wanted to make sure you didn't bring anything inappropriate that the kids could find, like how you gave Edwin condoms. He is fifteen, Derek," She said hotly. Derek caught on to her real question.
"Well, he's at that age where it's better to be safe than sorry, and though he is not as in with the ladies as I was, it's part of being a big brother," He said and took another step towards her. Casey was already leaning against the nightstand. There was no. Further, she could retreat to. "But don't worry, I wasn't expecting anything this weekend," He reassured and then smirked. "And in our parents' home no less, for shame, Macdonald." He teased and cupped her chin once she let out a relieved exhale.
"Oh, shut up. I just wanted to make sure you didn't have any ill intentions." She said but leaned into his touch nonetheless. She quickly glanced at the door. Thankfully she had thought to lock it. Derek followed her gaze, and with the minor level of privacy, he leaned down and kissed her pouty lips. Casey sank into the kiss; his wet curls brushed her forehead and ran her cool fingers down the side of his face. Derek's hands roamed up and down her sides, occasionally dropping to squeeze her outer thighs. The feeling made Casey release a shuddering gasp. Derek moved both hands to her face and kissed her firmly before breaking away.
"Think you can hold off with just that for now, Case?" He asked, a bit breathless. Casey looked up into his eyes and saw the restraint he was using, so she offered a small smile and let the tips of her fingers whisper down his torso and then stop at his jeans' waistband. Derek bit back a grunt.
"Sure thing, Der," Casey said and turned to head downstairs. When she didn't hear his footsteps trailing her, she saw him with his back facing her and his hands resting on his hips. "You coming?" She asked
"Mhmm, Just give me a minute," He said, and Casey bit back her giggle. Derek let out a breath.
"Oh, don't worry, Princess. I'll pay you back."
Next day
"I'm sorry, run that by me again. You and Derek?" Emily asked for the third time. They were at Smelly Nelly's, and Casey was picking at her salad.
"Sorta. It's just something that happened all of a sudden when he came down to New York. Now I just keep getting all flustered around him and even the thought of him." Casey explained and then gave up on her salad altogether with a groan and holding her head in her hands. "Pathetic, huh."
"Well..." In a high-pitched voice, Emily caused Casey's head to look up and give her best friend a desperate look.
"Emily! I am in a delicate state right now." She complained, and Emily giggled at her friend's antics. Same old Casey.
"Casey, I am your best friend, and so it is my solemn sworn duty to inform you that this is not all of a sudden," Emily indicated with outstretched hands. "You two have had this intense chemistry that you both were too stubborn and thankfully young to understand. I had my suspicions, but I didn't want to jump the gun before you told me and inadvertently caused you to blow it out of proportion." Emily explained and then took a sip of her mint tea. Casey was in open-mouthed shock.
"I don't blow things out of proportion." Casey protested. Emily pursed her lips into a knowing smile. Casey waved it off.
"I mean, this is wrong, right? He is my stepbrother; we've known each other since we were fifteen," Casey whispered. Emily sighed.
"It's not conventional, that's for sure, but as you said, you were fifteen when you met. You didn't necessarily grow up together like Edwin, Lizzie, and Marti have. Have you guys talked about it?" Emily asked. Casey nodded.
"We have; since we don't really know where this will lead, we didn't want to get everyone at home involved, especially the kids," Casey explained, and Emily nodded in agreement and then reached out to hold Casey's hand.
"Casey MacDonald, you are stuck in your very own version of 'Clueless.'" She teased; Casey couldn't help but laugh at that. She conjured up her best Cher impression.
"As if! Derek wishes he were Pual Rudd."
The weekend hadn't been such agony to get through as Casey had predicted. Thankfully with so many people in the house, it was easy to slip a gaze or two, and hand grazes without being noticed. All things carried on well until Sunday breakfast.
"Okay, Derek, now that Casey is going to school with you, be sure to look after her," George said before shoveling down some eggs. Derek was across from Casey at the table and gave a nonchalant shrug.
"I'm pretty sure Casey can take care of herself." He said through a mouthful of bacon.
"For once, you're right, Derek," Casey said with as much bite she could muster. "I will be fine, George, and I didn't need Derek to save me in New York. I don't need him to save me in Queens." She said proudly and continued to eat her avocado toast.
"I didn't know you went to see Casey in New York, Derek," George said, and Casey almost choked. Derek gave Casey a leveled look that read, 'Way to go, Space Case.'
"I take it back; Casey needs all the help she can get. She called whining about everyone being so mean to her, so I took pity and flew in." Derek said a nudged Edwin. "The theater girls were hoooot," and the brothers shared a chuckle. Lizzie made a disgusted sound, and Casey tried to keep the burning blush from rising from her chest.
"I should have let them rip you apart." She snapped. Derek rolled his eyes.
"Please, unlike you. I can handle a few catty girls." He said, and Casey chucked an apple at his head, he easily ducked, but Marti wasn't so lucky.
"Oww, Casey!" She shouted.
"Oh, I am so sorry, Marti." She said, and her stepsister grumbled by something along the lines of 'quit flirting.' Only Derek was close enough to hear, and he froze.
"What was that, Smarti?" He said, and she looked up at her brother, and her dark blue eyes said that she knew far more than they were letting on. Derek frowned at her; when did Marti start rebelling against Derek? Mari batted her lashes at him and smiled.
"Oh nothing, Smirk. I am just going to miss you and Casey when you go away." She said and threw her arms around Derek's neck and whispered so low that only he could hear. "I know."
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mdotmaro · 3 years
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It's posting day!!!!!!
I have never been the best at keeping up with constructive habits, but here goes everything. I am at week two of a chapter post
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mdotmaro · 3 years
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mdotmaro · 3 years
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My most recent Fanfiction, “Winging it” a life with Derek Fanfiction will be updated each Wednesday. Hope you all enjoy :)
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mdotmaro · 3 years
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Winging It
Author's Note: This story is set right after Vacation with Derek. Casey is going off to New York to like her dream as a dancer in a musical. But what if things are not what she expected? What if her dream was wrong? What if the most irritating person in your life is the only one that can talk some sense into you
And so the summer of 05 was coming to an end. The Blue Heron Lodge wasn't going anywhere, and Broadway was calling Casey's name. She sat at the dock, letting her toes dance across the surface, careful to avoid her heels getting wet. There were slight thumps on the floorboards of the dock.
"You know it's not much of a party if you go to brood off all alone. Maybe save the dramatics when you get on stage." Derek commented while he took a seat next to Casey. She chuckled quietly.
"You heard, huh?" She asked with a wistful smile on her face as she stared up at the stars.
"Hard not to when Nora and her hormones keep crying about it every five minutes; Casey laughed at that and wiped a stray tear from the corner of her eye. Derek eyed her and then recoiled at the sight of tears.
"Oh, come on, not you too. Jeez, I can't wait to be in University without all the estrogen seeping through the walls." He said and nudged her lightly.
"I am fine, really just taking it all in. My dream is really coming true, and I just have this light feeling in my chest that makes me want to laugh and cry all at once." She explained; he smirked at her.
"Well, if that feeling spreads to your right arm, let someone know because you might be having a heart attack," Derek said, and Casey shoved him.
"Yeah, I'll miss you too, Der, " She said, and Derek scoffed at the insinuation.
"Whatever, all I am saying is that New York is far enough away that it would be too much of a pain to Dad and Nora to go fly over and save you from whatever crisis you have; so" He cleared his throat and looked up at the sky and pointedly not at Casey. His ears were a tad pink.
"So, call me instead. But you're paying for the plane ticket." He added abruptly, but it was too late. Casey began to pout her lip and stare at Derek with tears in her light blue eyes.
"Aww, Der. You do care. Come here," She said and went to hug the young man that back peddled away from her.
"I take it back, don't call me. Don't touch me. Casey, I mean it," He said in a mock deep tone that made her glossy eyes glitter with amusement. It was a two-second pause between them before Derek sprinted up the dock with Casey close at his heels.
"Oh, come on, Derek, you love me, just admit it," Casey shouted and laughed after him. He blitzed away from her just as she was about to catch him by shirttail. Her fingers barely brushed the fabric. Derek thought he could lose her at the dock because there was no way she would risk falling off, Right? Wrong, one rolled ankle, and down she splashed into the dark water. Derek burst out laughing and continued until he realized Casey didn't resurface.
"Casey?" Derek called out and scanned the surface for any bubbles. A twinge of panic left his voice when he called out again. "Casey!" Still nothing. "Oh for the love of Peter" He grumbled before taking off his fancy shoes and jumping in and searched the water for any sign of her. He saw a dim image of a figure struggling against something. Derek swam over and saw it was her heavy wedge heel stuck between two pieces of driftwood. Casey was trying to yank her foot out; Derek broke the buckle and dragged her up. They both gasped, and then Casey hit Derek in the chest.
"Der-rek, those were my favorite shoes!" She panted and supported herself up by his arms until she could regain her breath. Derek stared open-mouthed at her.
"Fine. I'll just let you drown next time," He said and then smirked, and Casey's eyes widened before Derek dunked her head underwater. She swatted at him until he let her go, and then there was a splashing war. At one point, Casey was able to wrap her legs around Derek's waist and pushed down on his shoulders to dip him under.
"Casey, you are not allowed to drown Derek," Nora said passively as she waddled with her large belly to the bunkhouse with George. Derek picked Casey up and flung her back into the water.
"You heard her." Derek laughed at the haphazard hair plastered to her forehead. Casey dipped her head back to smooth out her hair.
"Let's get out of here; the water is freezing," Casey said and wrapped her arms tightly around herself; the dress she was wearing had stuck to her skin in a less than modest way than Casey was comfortable with. Derek unbuttoned his vest and handed it to her. She smiled and accepted the vest, and quickly buttoned up the middle. Jessie saw Casey from across the lawn and jogged over.
"Hey, Casey, a great night for a swim, eh?" He said while grinning at the waterlogged step-siblings. Derek nudged Casey's arm before heading out to the brunette waiting by the jet ski. Casey watched him go before turning back to Jessie. I guess you could say that. Want to go for a walk?" She asked while looping her arm through Jessie's.
"What happened to your shoes?" Jessie asked, indicating to her bare feet. Casey laughed
"It's a long story."
Six months later
The blaring car horns were surprisingly easy to adapt to. Casey particularly loved the little shops and cafes that seemed to flower at every corner. The organic wheatgrass and lemon zest smoothie was a favorite routine of hers before taking a run in central park. Rehearsal wasn't until 10 am, and Casey had to make sure to keep up her stamina for the demanding routine involved in the Jazztap Tango on Mango Street.
Casey was the roommate and unrequited love interest, Mindy. Jessie was the lead Georgio. He was taking his role as the Mainstreet casanova to heart. Whatever began at the Blue Heron Lodge was soon forgotten after there was so much research to do with so many women.
"I just need to get a better feel of the character. You understand, don't you?" Jessie explained at Casey's studio apartment. She stared at him and tried her best to stay civil. It was an act she had seen many times with Truman and certainly with Jessie. He wasn't exactly nonchalant about his veracious flirting as a waiter, and it only increased in New York when his charming shyness faded away.
"Of course, see you on set. K?" She said before gently closing the door. The apartment was basically a shoebox; she could barely practice her routine, and Casey was starting to get restless. There were a few framed pictures across the headboard of her twin bed. She picked up the last picture the entire family had taken together. Simon was just born, and they were all huddled together at the hospital. She smiled at the image that had been taken four months earlier. Simon must have at least doubled in size by now. Casey sighed at the knot in her chest and stared at the phone on her bed for a long moment before giving in and dialing.
"Yo, You've reached Derek Venturi. Leave a message, and I may or may not get back to you. Later" Casey rolled her eyes at the voicemail, but she still waited for the beep.
"Hey, It's Casey. No, I am not having a crisis. I just wanted to call and see how you were doing and to see if you had flunked any of your classes yet. Call me back when you can," She said, and that was two days ago, and she had not heard back from him since. The musical was supposed to air at the Radio City Music Hall for the first time that night at 8 pm. It was too short notice for any family or friends to be able to see it live, but they promised to come to the next showing in two months in Buffalo.
Casey quickly dressed and went up to the stage. "Alright, Casey, go up to the balcony and start from 'Carry On, '" The director Bernard Blue instructed from the front row. The prop balcony was just reinforced after a near spill last week that had Casey hanging on for dear life by the railing. Margret, the leading lady, had teased that Casey shouldn't have had that extra slice of pizza at rehearsal wrap-up. Derek said that she was being "Black Swanned" when she had called that night to vent her frustrations.
"You've seen The Black Swan?" Casey scoffed.
"Uh Yeah, Natalie Portman 'finding her sexual nature' on screen. How could I not?" He said.
"You're disgusting," She said, but they ended up laughing anyway.
Casey stared into the spotlight and let out a deep breath.
"Carry on, sweet dear. My mother always told me.
Carry on through these tears. Let them water your garden.
Soon the flowers will bloom and shade your views of the unkindness of this world." Casey's voice carried sweetly through the theater as she watered the small prop flowers on the balcony. Below Jessie danced and caressed Margret while Casey was made to gaze forlorn at them from above.
"But sometimes the flowers bloom is not enough.
Never enough." Casey sang with more force, and she flew down the stairs to meet the lovers, but before she descended, they were gone.
"Just living and watching you fade from me.
Even if you're happy, it will never be enough for me-" She ended with the saddest halt of her voice. The lights faded, and then she was shuffled backstage for the next scene. It had become just a monotonous cycle in her life. When did her dream become the very thing she dreaded each and every day. Maybe when it was when her dream became a job, and the freeing feeling she had when she danced was now controlled by someone else. She looked at the glittering face in the mirror. Casey had the opportunity to give into a secret desire to be a blonde for the role, but there was something different in her eyes. They seemed dull.
The play was a moderate success. There were no screaming crowds or cries for an encore like the director had predicted. Casey was honestly just glad it was over. When she went to the dressing room, she found someone in her chair. With a well-timed spin, Derek grinned at her, appearing quite at home.
"The real star is here," He announced, lounging in the makeup chair like a throne. Casey laughed and all but launched at him. She squeezed him in a hug.
"Chillz, Case. Can't breathe." Derek said but still gave her a gentle squeeze back. Some of the other girls began to mill into the dressing room and took in the scene of the two step-siblings.
"Aww, Casey, I didn't know you had enough time for a boyfriend." Eloise sneered. Casey gave the petite redhead a withering look.
"This is my step-brother, Derek. Derek, this is Eloise, Jasmine, Cossette, and Jamie." Casey said, milling off as the women eyed Derek with a predatory look. Casey wrinkled her nose in distaste.
"Oh, and is Derek single?" Eloise asked while batting her massive costume lashes at the man. Derek chuckled and got out of the chair, but before he could say anything.
"Oh, he is, but sorry to tell you, girls, he is gay. Come on, let me show you the city." Casey said before half dragging Derek out of the dressing room. Derek protested the entire time he was very much straight. Once they were on the street, Derek shook her off his arm.
"Jeez, Casey. Possessive much?" Derek complained. Casey shook her head.
"Please, Derek. Those theater girls would have eaten you alive." She teased. "Anyway, what made you come all the way over? How did you like the play? How is the family?" Casey rattled off as they walked down the street, the park was coming up, and they had a night market to celebrate the change into spring.
"Take a breath, Casey." Derek teased and shoved his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket. Casey closed her mouth and made a locking motion while throwing away a figurative key. Derek rolled his eyes.
"You are such a dork," He mumbled, and she put her hands on her hips. "Well, I heard your voicemail, and you are still a terrible liar; you are obviously having a crisis." And he held a hand to stall her protest. "Yes, you are, but I have to go down the list before you go on this verge of denial." He smirked
"The play was sappy but good, I guess. And the Fam is fine, I guess, you can reach out to them too, you know." He said and then lingered over to a hotdog vendor and ordered a dog with all the fixings, even relish. Derek took a huge, messy bite and then offered some to Casey, who gave a quick shake of her head.
"I know, and I try too, but these hours are so long with the play and rehearsals and the gym to stay in shape." She sighed. Derek sized her up.
"What's wrong with the shape you're in now?" Derek said through a mouth full of meat. Casey grimaced and offered him a napkin.
"Chew, swallow, then speak, you, Neanderthal," Casey said and then looked down at her thin, toned arms. "The costume designer has been complaining about having to use extra material for my costume because I am not a size two like the other girls," Casey said and crossed her arms in frustration.
"You'd look weirder than usual if you were super thin like them," Derek said after finishing his hot dog and wiping his mouth. They passed a beadwork station where Derek tossed his trash in the nearby bin, and Casey looked intently at the necklaces.
"I agree, but that's showbusiness. I don't have enough curves to be plus-sized and not thin enough to be seen as a regular dancer. It's exhausting," She admitted while touching a deep jade necklace like one her mother would wear.
"So, quit," Derek said simply. Casey turned away from the necklace and stared at him incredulously.
"I can't just quit on my dream, Derek. I have sacrificed too much for it not to work out." She said hotly. Derek gave her a bland look.
"I saw you up there; there is no passion in you." Derek accused. Casey scoffed.
"Please. What do you know about passion?" Casey asked, and he shrugged.
"I have been playing hockey since I was twelve, and I have never felt like getting up to play was ever work. You have been complaining for weeks about this, and it is just not what you expected. And that scares you." He accused. Casey shoved him.
"I am not scared!" She hissed, but it wasn't convincing. She gave into his penetrating look and slumped her shoulders. "Okay, fine. I thought it would be amazing to dance on a stage in front of hundreds of people every night, but it's not the same when the choreography is the exact same, and I don't have the creative liberties I would If I did my own choreography." She admitted—Derek tutt at her before lazily throwing his arm across her shoulders.
"Well, you can always modify your dream to fit your life." He said and then eyed a street band performing under a massive tree filled with string lights. Casey gave him a confused look, and then her eyes widened at him when he dragged her towards the band, and he twirled her around. "Like dancing in the park without any stuffed shirts of catty girls criticizing you." He said before joining her in a faced paced swing dance. Casey's face lit up with the biggest and most beautiful smile. She laughed and tilted her head back when Derek picked her up and spun her.
A small crowd of dancers joined in, and the band picked up its pace, and Derek let Casey down so she could take the reigns. This was her, Casey free and alive.
The two left the park with a little more pep in their step and laughing. Derek dragged them to the closest bar and ordered them whiskey shots. Derek started to sweet talk to the bartender and didn't even get carded. They were legal in Canada, but at nineteen, were not yet legal in the states. It helped that Derek had a bit of a blonde stubble beard going on. Casey just shook her head in amazement.
"I am the one supposed to be showing you around the city. I am the one who lives here," Casey said before clinking her shot glass with Derek's and downing it in one go. Derek laughed at her grimace as the whiskey burned down her throat.
"It's called confidence Casey, maybe you'll know all about it after a few more of these." He said and waved at the bartender for another round. He handed Casey another cool shot glass, and she met his determined gaze with one of her own. He leaned close to her ear and said over the loud music.
"Oh, and you're paying, by the way." He said, and before she could yell at him, he downed his shot and pulled on her hand to the dance floor. Casey refrained from his pulling to shakily downed her whiskey shot. Derek released her to the thumping music while he made eye contact with a blonde in a tight purple dress. Casey felt her limbs become loose and cool and began to sway to the beat. The writhing bodies pressed against another was not the type of music she was usually used to, but there was something hypnotic about it. A pair of arms snaked around her waist, and Casey flinched to see a handsome stranger with mint green eyes that shone against dark skin. He leaned close to her ear.
"Want to dance?" He asked, and she nodded nervously. He led her in a slow sway, lightly pressing his hips into hers. Casey bit back a gasp and ran her arms up and through her own loose waves. This was heaven. She followed the handsome stranger step for step and rolled her hips in a way that made him hiss. His hands began to drift from her hips to the back pockets of her low-ride jeans. It was only when he squeezed her bottom that she squealed and jumped away. The handsome stranger raised his hands up in surrender. He mouthed "sorry" to her, and she shook her head and smiled at him before moving more towards the center and dancing by herself. At least she was until Derek came over with another two shots, and she gladly accepted, now getting more used to the burn.
"You okay?" Derek shouted over the music. Casey nodded.
"Better than ever." She said and wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him into a more lively song. Derek put both their glasses on the nearby counter and began to sway along with Casey. This was much closer than they had ever danced before, and Casey was giggling and biting her bottom lip as she spun and gyrated onto Derek. Oh no, Derek thought. He had created a monster. He would have always thought Casey would be a lame weepy drunk, but it turns out she is a flirty drunk. Derek wasn't exactly sober either, and the night was still swinging along. He held for the ride with his hands firmly on Casey's hips. She spun and then wrapped her arms around his neck. She swayed back and forth with her eyes half-closed.
It's hard to say who moved; first, one moment, they were forehead to forehead, and then Casey whispering huskily, "Thank you for saving me, Derek" Derek chuckled and asked, "From what?". Casey's fingers ran through his smooth hair before leaning to his ear and whispering, "From myself" Maybe he was going to give her a reassuring kiss on the cheek. Maybe she only turned to put her head on his shoulder. Whatever their possible intentions, what happened was that their lips met for the briefest moment. They had enough sobriety to freeze and look into each other's eyes. Derek searched her baby blue eyes for any fear or concern but only found her doing the same, and a flicker of want glazed over her eyes. That was all each other needed for permission.
While the first kiss was sweet and innocent, this kiss was desperate and sensual. Derek pressed Casey closer and cupped the back of her head to deepen the kiss, and Casey let her hands trail down his chest to the hem of his shirt. In the course of their kissing, the song had changed to something slower; Casey and Derek took the opportunity to come up for air. Casey nuzzled into Derek's neck, and he held her close.
"What are we doing?" Casey asked and pulled back to look at Derek. She half expected a sarcastic remark like, What does it look like? We were making out, and now we're not. Not that big a deal, Case. But Casey had never seen Derek like this before. His face was open and vulnerable.
"I don't know," He said and shook his head. He smoothed some hair out of her face and smiled down at her. Casey smiled back and leaned up to kiss him lightly. She rubbed her hands over his arms.
"Well, whatever this is, let's wing it," Casey announced confidently. Derek laughed at that and shook her lightly.
"What?" Casey pouted. Derek shook his head and slung an arm over her shoulder, leading her out of the dance floor towards the bar to pay their tab.
"'Let's wing it,'" He imitated her in an absurdly high pitch tone. "You are still such a Keener," He said. She elbowed his side.
"Der-rek," She whined as he pat her head in a condescending way.
"It's okay; you're a cute kenner." He said with a wink. She forked up the cash for their tab and joined him out in the New York nightlife.
They stared out at the buildings from Casey's fire escape. Neither said anything for several minutes until Casey broke the silence.
"I have to drop out of the play," Casey announced, and Derek smoothed her hair in response. "Yeah, you got me thinking."
"Oh no," Derek said and snickered when she lightly slapped his knee. Casey was sitting between his legs and leaning back into his chest.
"I want to go back to school, but not for Law. I want to own my own dance studio." She said, and Derek put his chin on top of her head.
"So, Casey Macdonald found a way to make a career where she is in complete control. Shocker." He whispered the last part into her ear; she smiled and then turned around so she was facing him.
"Plus, going to university will give us time to figure out whatever this is." She said as she placed her hands on his shoulders. He smirked at her.
"Yeah, sure, let's 'wing it,'" He said, and Casey slid her hands up to his neck and kissed him until the sun began to rise, and they both finally succumbed to exhaustion.
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mdotmaro · 4 years
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Looking from above
A continuation of a Zodiac Fan Fic.
Thank you so much to everyone that liked and shared my previous story. I binge read and reread the Zodiac series this year and loved it so much that I couldn’t let it go just yet. I obviously do not own this world the Romina Russell has so masterfully created. My heart just feels a little happier thinking of the snippets of after.
...
Sometimes I think I can hear her in the Psy. The need to search the stars for the dangers of tomorrow had proven to be a habit too difficult to break. It became worse when I realized I was pregnant. 
Nishi would have been overly involved in every step of the way. It took every molecule in my body not to name my daughter after her. Hysan had suggested it, but I knew Nishi. She would have scoffed and said that it would be cruel to give my child the expectation to live in the shadow of her mother’s best friend. 
So, we named our daughter Helena Grace Dax. 
There was a heavy tension in the Zodiac for years after the war. Some of the older generations were too comfortable in their old ways. 
When we were thirteen, then twelve types of people and not one Zodiac. 
When there was the Taboo. 
News of Hysan and I getting married, did not come without backlash. Many came from Cancer, some cancreans never forgave me for hesitating the warning signal when Cancer was going to be destroyed. 
They called me a traitorous whore. There was a sting of rejection, but Pandora reminded me that my people were all over the Zodiac. Not just Cancer. She knew first hand with her blue-eyed son of a cancrean. Her family had not been so welcoming to the news either. 
Little Jaius, was precious and the firstborn in the new world. Needless to say, we all spoiled him rotten, much to Mattias’ objection. 
When Helena was born, Jaius found a constant companion. They would be sure to Wave each other each night before bed to recount their days. 
Jaius was the one who coined Helena’s nickname ‘Lena’ partly because he was an excited two-year-old when he met her for the first time. 
I smile when I think of the memory of leaving the medical bay to see my friends gathered around the lobby with an obnoxious assortment of gifts and a beautiful boy racing to hug my legs and peer at Helena’s tiny, squished face. He gazed at her with so much wonder and looked at me with big wide eyes. 
“I love Lena,” He announced and Hysan and Mattias burst out laughing. 
“Give her a few years, Jaius. Besides, Grace women love the thrill of the chase.” He said and swiftly ducked away from my kick. 
At the present moment, I blinked awake not realizing that I had fallen asleep in the reading room. The golden orbs winked in and out of sunlight with the new version of the Capricorn snow globes with memories. 
I struggle to sit up, my swollen abdomen pushing me back into the plush, plum-colored couch. This pregnancy has left me much more exhausted than I was with Helena. I expect it’s a boy for that reason. 
Massaging my lower back, I manage to waddle out to the hall and follow the sound of singing power tools. 
Hysan had been working on a new android. Ms. Trie had informed Hysan and me that for Helena to reach her true potential she would need various tutors to challenge her. Hysan had rolled his eyes but complied. Although, I knew the real reason he caved. 
The taboo was eradicated and people were more accepting. For the most part. Our little family was held at a different standard. Many houses questioned our loyalty to the entire Zodiac. 
Equinox had already been attacked twice. Once after Helena was two months old and the latest last month when it became impossible to hide my pregnancy. 
As I opened the door, I was greeted by the sight of sparks dancing in the air. There is a large silver object at the center of the work table. Hysan has his welder’s shield on so only his golden halo of hair. He has his gray coveralls and his muscles arms peek out from above his rubber gloves. I bit my bottom lip, Another side effect this baby has brought out is an unquenchable need for sex, even eight months along. 
Hysan didn’t seem to mind this affliction one bit. The helmet moved in my direction is pulled back just as soon as the welding gun is off. 
There was sweat beading on his forehead and a light shadow of stubble coating his chin and cheeks. The gold in his eyes flickered at my expression. He braced his arms against the workbench. My mind traveled to all the times he had taken me on that very bench. Hysan seemed to read my thoughts because he inclined his head for me to join him. 
I slowly make my way to my husband and place my hands on his shoulders. He circled his arms around my hips and lower back. He took a moment to caress my stomach before moving up to my heavy breasts. My breath hitched and he swallowed the sound while pulling me to his chest. 
“Daddy, I need the 4mm socket wrench.” Called a soft voice from above. Hysan’s hand slid to my lower back and we pulled away. We looked up to see our daughter dangling upside down on the hanger. With her mane of curls tied back in a long, blonde braid and large green goggles dwarfing her face. 
Hysan reached for the tool but didn’t hand it to Helena. 
“Hmm I am not sure 4mm is the right size it seems too small for the hover scooter, Lena”: He said and Helena pushed the goggles to her forehead and narrowed her hazel eyes at her father. She analyzed his debate and managed to look much older than six. 
“It’s the right size even a 5mm would be too big and slip off of the bolts.” She challenged with a smirk, looking just like Hysan. He grinned and handed Helena the tool. 
“Ahh yes. My mistake,” he said and Helena leaned down and kissed Hysan’s cheek before going back to work on her scooter. 
“She is just like you,” I said. Hysan turned to me, still beaming, and shrugged. 
“Maybe just a bit,” He said with a wink, his face full of pride. 
“I have a feeling baby number two is going to follow the same path” I say and rub small circles on my abdomen. 
“A house of prodigies, how will I ever keep up?” I laughed and Hysan hugged me close. 
“Don’t sell yourself short, you are a prodigy with the stars and a wonderful leader and mother. I’d say you give me a great deal to work up to.” He said softly into my hair. 
Suddenly, I jolted upright, nearly knocking my head into Hysan’s chin. The baby managed to give two simultaneous kicks on separate sides of my stomach. 
“What is it?” Hysan asked, His face tightening with concern. Helena swung down from the hanger and scurried to my side. 
“Are you okay, Mama?” She asked her to face a bit pale. I smoothed some of the frizz on the top of her head. 
“Yes, my love. I’m fine. I just think I may have figured out why I am so big this time around” I sighed motioning to my swollen abdomen. They both seem confused and gave mirrored concerned expressions to one another. I shook my head and placed both of their hands on my stomach. 
A moment later the same painful simultaneous kicks thumped against my skin. 
Hysan’s eyes grew wide and he rubbed his mouth and chin. 
“Why is the baby being so rough with you, Mama?” Helena asked, her eyes narrowing at disapproval at my stomach as if she could stare down her rowdy sibling through the womb. Hysan barked out a laugh and ruffled her hair. 
“Well, they are probably kicking around to make room.” He said and kneeled to Helena’s level. 
“Mama has two babies in her belly” Hysan clarified. Helena stared from me to Hysan and then to my stomach. She rubbed her hands on her face, leaving tiny grease marks across her cheeks. 
“Mama, that is too much!” She exclaimed and Hysan doubled over laughing at one point there were tears in my eyes. Helena did not find this amusing. 
“Nothing we can do about it now, Lena” Hysan said and Helena shook her head exasperated. She placed her hands on her tiny hips. 
“Well, Daddy. Now you have to make another android because I simply cannot handle two of them.” She instructed Hysan while wagging her finger at him. He stood and firmly placed his welder’s helmet and saluted the young girl. 
“As you wish, my lady,” he said and Helena beamed at him. She turned and firmly grabbed my hand. 
“Come on, let’s go get some ice cream. You must be exhausted.” She empathized. I nodded and shot Hysan a glance over my shoulder. He lifted his helmet and blew me a kiss. I smiled at him. 
Nishi would have been doubling over with us. I look up to the skylight in the kitchen and make out the faint constellation of Sagittarius in the night sky. Deep in my heart, I know Nishi is looking down on us, watching over in Elysium with Deek. They probably are teasing me without mercy. Helios, they are probably the ones that spoke of me having twins into existence. 
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mdotmaro · 4 years
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Begin Again
A Zodiac fan fic
The war left scars that went far beyond the surface. There are nights where I scream myself awake with only the security of Hysan’s arms keeping me tethered to the universe and no the clutches of the Sumber. 
After the war it took months to be able to be able to bring myself to commune with the stars. There were too many factors at play in the present to focus on what the future held. Factors like life after Hysan’s trail, the betrayal his people had felt by the deception of the youngest guardian in history was snuffed out by the impact Hysan made to not only Libra, but to the entire Zodiac. 
“Libra has always known it’s true guardian far before its people. We, the jury, find Hysan Dax not guilty of treason and recognize his role as it always should have been known, Guardian of Libra and citizen of the Zodiac.” The young woman announced at the jurors station, her deep brown eyes reminding me so much of Ruby. 
Hysan forced his features into a stoicism, but back in the penthouse. He crashed into me, kissing me and spinning me around. When he pulled away I saw the tear tracks on his golden face. He had not been abandoned by his people, his greatest fear since he was twelve years old. There was a celebration held four days after and everyone flew in by the ship full. 
Pandora found me in the crowd and gave me the biggest grin, she shyly grabbed my hand and led me to a more secluded room. 
“I am so glad that Hysan was pardoned and that he has been set as the true guardian. You must be so proud of him.” She told me in her misty voice. I glanced towards the crowd where Brenna had squealed and practically tackled Hysan in a hug. He radiated Helios’ light more than anyone one I have ever known and now with no secrets to hide behind he was absolutely radiant. 
I absentmindedly touched my chest, at the beating heart that thawed out of darkness. Hysan saved me, in more ways than one. My love. My tether to this world. 
“I am.” I said and then looked back at Pandora. She seemed to be fiddling with the ends of her blouse. The fabric hugged her skin a bit tighter than I was used to seeing on her. Still long and muscled there was nothing to deem the blouse was anything but outgrown, but then she cradled her stomach gently. My eyes widened and I searched her face for confirmation and with tears in her radiant violet eyes she laughed and nodded. 
I crashed her into a hug and began to cry as well. Tears of the purest joy. There was going to be new life brought into this world and my dearest friends were expanding their family. 
“I see that Pandora told you the good news.” A musical voice said from behind me. I turned to see Mathias with his hands in his pockets. He had a moon-bright smile beaming from him. Without letting go of Pandora I dragged him into our hug. 
“I am so happy for both of you. I know how much you wanted a family. This child will be blessed by all the guardians of the Zodiac. I will personally see to it.” I said and Mathias laughed and shook his head. 
“I have learned to never doubt you, Holy Mother.” He said and placed a sweet kiss on my cheek. I left the soon to be parents at the buffet and made my way about the entertainment hall. I plucked off a wine flute from a nearby serving tray and leaned against a pillar. 
Soon a pair of arms snaked around my waist and I felt a warm breath tickling my ear. 
“Are you enjoying yourself, my lady?” Hysan purred and kissed my neck. I leaned back into him and brought my hand back to cup the side of his face. 
“I am. Seeing all of our friends again gives me hope. Especially since Pandora is pregnant.” I said and Hysan turned me to check if I was okay. I leaned up and kissed him lightly on the lips. He gave me his centaur smile and brought me closer to his chest. 
“That’s wonderful.” He said and then leaned in closer so only I could hear the husky shift in his voice. “And if you ever feel the urge. I would be honored to have a family with you. You just let me know when you want to start trying” He said and I could feel each hair on my body stand on end. I shivered which made Hysan smirk. I made a show of adjusting the collar of his suit. 
“Let’s talk about that after we’re married.” I wink at him and turn around to face the party once again. There is a swarm of bodies dancing around and laughing. Just as they had on Sagittarius, only this wasn’t a celebration in spite of the end of the world. This was a celebration of living. 
“Was that a proposal, my lady?” Hysan asked from behind me. I looked over my shoulder at him and froze. Hysan was kneeling down on one knee. 
“Because you beat me to the punch.” He whispered. His face was not his usually confident radiance. There was nervous excitement in his leaf green eyes. He was so open and vulnerable. I fell to my knees and stared at Hysan’s face and down at the glittering blue pearl surrounded by blue-gray crystals. 
Cancer’s new planetary form.
My eyes began to well with tears and I looked up at Hysan again. He swallowed. 
“I had this made before we went to Ophucius.” He said quietly. I bit my lip and thought of those moments before Ocus and I went into the Psy. Hysan had looked as though he wanted to tell me something, but he knew I needed to be focused. 
“You are my everything, Rhoma Grace. Will you marry me?” He asked and I nodded quickly before wrapping my arms around him. 
“You are my everything, Hysan Dax. I want nothing more, but to be a part of your family.” I said through tears. He squeezed me tighter and I could hear the roars of cheers behind us. With Brenna projecting a hollow banner that read ‘Rho and Hysan forever’. 
“Well, at least we know that this part of the Zodiac approves.” I laughed and Hysan squeezed my hand. 
“The only person’s approval I care about is that of my future wife.” He said and kissed me deeply and the Abisthe rush flooded into my heart to the point of bursting. 
Yes, this was to begin again. 
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mdotmaro · 4 years
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PETITION TO MAKE THE ZODIAC SERIES A BIGGER FANDOM
Repost this to make the Zodiac series by @rominagarber a bigger and more loved fandom!! It’s a great series and it should be more appreciated!! Repost!!!!
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mdotmaro · 4 years
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Maybe I can actually be a writer...
Aside from getting up in the morning and getting out of bed, there is also a responsibility to our passions. 
I have been writing novels for the past decade and have not felt the confidence or the pride to show off my work. 
Thankfully I have a amazing boyfriend, Adam, and some beautiful friends that have really pushed me to continue and finish my works. 
I am taking control of having a normal day and so far have gotten 1,000 words cranked out. I also read in a writing workbook that writers should read six times more than they write. So, time to finish on my mission of rereading the Maximum ride series. With perfect timing because Hawk is coming out in June. 
Like most of the fandom, I am equally excited/frustrated with James Patterson. 
Who knows maybe I can give people those same emotions a few years down the line? 
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