me-myself-and-bye-bitch

[me-myself-and-bye-bitch]

~advanced~ interpersonal skills.

[me-myself-and-bye-bitch]

I don’t want to exist anymore

[me-myself-and-bye-bitch]

I think the thing I hate most in life, is the ‘advice’ people give when someone is going through a bad depression. Telling a depressed person that “life is no meaning, go and do whatever you want” is just BS. It literally leaves me seething when someone tells me that. I know life has no meaning that’s why I’m depressed, Karen. Everything I am, do, and will be won’t matter. It doesn’t matter if I pursue something I enjoy or get rich hating my life, it doesn’t fucking matter so what’s the point in watching the movie when you know how it’s gonna end? I’m so over this whole “existing” thing I’d like a refund

[me-myself-and-bye-bitch]

Iced coffee but like,,, melatonin

[me-myself-and-bye-bitch]

Anticipation.

It's a little complicated; I'll try to explain.

I actually want to recover. I want to get to a point where I like being alive, where I can actually live instead of just survive. Where I can plan a future that's more than a few months away. Where I can genuinely laugh and be happy for more than a few hours or a day at a time.

It just seems like there's always something waiting around the corner, like I'm always tiptoeing on ashfault that's been sitting in the desert sun all day. I can have all the coping skills in the world, but it doesn't seem to matter.

I desperately want my life back. It just doesn't seem to want me.

[me-myself-and-bye-bitch]

Unpure.

I'm trying to be cute and playful with you by making quirky comments on something said, by touching your hand when we're talking casually, by smiling at you more, by laying a little closer to you in bed. The mood in our relationship desperately needs this type of lightness.

But when you say be gone thought quite loudly as you walk away, when you pull away from my touch immediately, when you would rather sit on the floor or on the very edge of the bed rather than next to me, when you hesitate to take a photo with me, it makes my mind race.

I'm doing everything I can to make you happy: losing weight, letting my hair grow out and not dying it because you said you like it better blonde and long, so much positive affirmation, no negative comments on small things like chores or cooking dinner, asking you if now is a good time to say something that may upset you, enthusiastic appreciation when you do anything, taking over finances to relieve some of your stress, supporting you in every decision that you make, engaging in your interests.

But my mind is racing. I'm not good enough for your love. I'm too much to handle. I'm frightening, terrifying. I'm damaged, tattered, broken. I'm unattractive, repulsive. I'm pushy, manipulative, destructive. I'm not working hard enough to get better. My past is too eventful to forgive me for. My family is too dysfunctional. My mental illnesses are too severe.

It's been two and a half years. It has to be something wrong with me. Just tell me what is wrong with me.

[me-myself-and-bye-bitch]

I don’t know how to communicate my wants and need without you looking at me differently.

[me-myself-and-bye-bitch]

Ok so a long story but, when I die I want to be creamated and have my ashes pressurized into a gemstone and then have the gemstone forged into a sword to be passed down. Anyway, my fiancé showed me NSP’s ‘Don’t Fear the Reaper’ and I was in LOVE with it. We sat and listened to it and I told him I wanted it played at my funeral. Anyway, towards the end, TWRP comes through and gives the bridge a huge thunderous boost. And my fiancé looks at me and goes “still want it played at your funeral?” And I go, “yeah this is where they forge the sword, duh.”

[me-myself-and-bye-bitch]

I just want to get high

[me-myself-and-bye-bitch]

I wanna be the person that even Gods don’t want to cross. I want to be the embodiment of power, confidence, and no-fucks given. I want to set this world on fire and just watch it burn. I want the fire I feel in my soul to light the way. I want the air to be thick with anticipation of me. I wanna be Persephone. I want to rule the world and watch it burn. I want this life to be a blink of existence and I want that blink to be the brightest star in the sky. I want to be the sun, the moon, a black hole. I’m tired of feeling down. I’m gonna live for me, even when I don’t want to.

[me-myself-and-bye-bitch]

[me-myself-and-bye-bitch]

just bpd things no one mentions;

• always feeling guilty • the ability to cut someone out of our life • the mental fog • always in crisis • never feeling secure or safe • not being able to tolerate your own company • psychotic episodes • addictive coping mechanisms • never feeling understood, like you’re speaking another language • how we’re just cuddly puppies that just crave endless attention and love

[me-myself-and-bye-bitch]

types of breakdowns (a personal compendium):

the standard, classic, timeless DUDE HOLY FUCK EVERYTHING SUCKS AND I WISH I WAS DEAD 

time to self harm not as a cry for help or some shit but because i fucking deserve to be in pain

everything is making too much noise and  i’m crying and people are yelling and it just makes it worse

breathe in my direction and youre dead to me

bro. bro listen. nothing i experience is meaningful in any way on the cosmic scale. bro, were all going to die and well be reduced to the nothingness that we clawed our way out of. bro? bro?

only one (1) thing has gone wrong but im crying anyway

time to cut off all my friends and remake my personality because the one i have is horrible and i cant keep disappointing people

flashback til i puke! a new hit single

irrational anger & violence

listen im well aware that someone needs to be responding to this situation in some way but youve got the wrong guy. possibly the correct fleshsuit, but the wrong guy

hhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH

feel free to add more

[me-myself-and-bye-bitch]

what you must understand about katara is that she is very rarely actually right, but also she is Always Right.

[me-myself-and-bye-bitch]

how to smoke pot using an apple

World Class Cannabis Seeds

[me-myself-and-bye-bitch]

im a bar of soap and God is an instagram girl with acrylic nails and a box cutter

[me-myself-and-bye-bitch]

My edit