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mecharose · 21 minutes
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i choose to believe i'm such a directionless wilted lettuce these days bc i used up three years of pure grit and relentlessness on 2021
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mecharose · 24 minutes
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adso piñerúa
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mecharose · 1 hour
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The Emperor Undying and His Saints.
Inprnt store here!
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mecharose · 1 hour
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The Saint of Joy and the Saint of Patience
Based on the Leyendecker painting of course
Art print store here!
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mecharose · 3 hours
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i really do enjoy the Woman Who Hunts as a character archetype. whether literally or metaphorically i love a woman who goes out with the specific intent of killing something and bringing it home in her teeth.
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mecharose · 3 hours
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in media i love when love is painful i love when love makes you scream and fall to your knees and rip your hair out i love when love is crushing and deafening
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mecharose · 3 hours
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mecharose · 3 hours
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kiss
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mecharose · 3 hours
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posting my farcille sketch on here too :]
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mecharose · 13 hours
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If you could go back five years with all the knowledge you have now, would you?
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mecharose · 13 hours
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the problem with autism is sometimes you want to do something (brave) but you need someone to gently walk you through each step so you know what will happen. and people don’t like doing that
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mecharose · 14 hours
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I love thinking of my time in the real world as starting from when I became legally an adult. It helps me be so much less hard on myself to be like well. I’m only 21. I’ve only been legally an adult for 3 years. I am a 3 year old adult. It’s okay if I make mistakes or don’t get things right immediately or bruise myself a little bit trying to hit a stride. Now is the time to trip and fall and get a little bruised. But then u get up and it heals and u know not to trip next time. You quite literally just started so why are u harsh on urself for mistakes that were essentially inevitable
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mecharose · 15 hours
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One of my patients used to be a Big Deal Specialist in the city and you can just TELL he’s SEETHING that no one out here is even qualified to understand what he did, much less how important he was. He’s also terrified of death. It’s both annoying and really sad. Like, sir, I hate to break it to you, but no amount of knowledge will protect you from the ravages of time. It’s a special kind of hell to know the stages of various fatal diseases intimately. What is it going to feel like when it’s my turn? How do doctors want to die? Suddenly, quietly. Slip away painlessly in my sleep. But how likely is that? Not very. More likely I’ll get cardiovascular disease or cancer, the greatest killers of our time.
He was so afraid of cancer he had an organ that wasn’t cancerous removed just in case. He talks down to me as if I’m his student, and who knows? Maybe I was. He was in the same city as me, and they were forever dragging Big Name Doctors in to teach us things. Maybe I learned how to elicit Achilles tendon reflexes from him.
But mostly I find myself a little scornful. Who lives without the shadow of death? Who doesn’t think about death all the time? When you die, life is a round thing, finished and whole. What will your life look like when God holds it in the palm of his hand?
Also don’t fucking call me by my first name unless I’ve specifically said you can. I don’t GIVE that permission to patients, except for my mentally ill trans and queer patients. If I wanted to be disrespected by an older man I would have married young.
You do not have time. This important doctor who based his whole life around his importance lived as rich and full a life as anyone. And now he’s clinging to it, leaving fingernail marks on the walls on his way out. No one has time. There will be a moment when you’re dying when you think, I would give anything I have to be back in that moment. Any ordinary moment. Taking the dogs out to go potty. Browsing at the grocery store. When you’re being crucified on a hospital bed, dying and aware of it through the morphine, you would give anything you ever possessed to go back and have one more agony-free afternoon. Sit on a curb or a stoop. Walk through a park. Hug your spouse. These tiny fragmentary moments that we are constantly sliding through, tobogganing past at high speeds, these are what will be our life when our life is over.
I am accountable to that self. To the dying me. What did I do with this gift and curse? I don’t believe in God, but I know that I will die, and I have watched enough dying people by now to know the kinds of things I’ll think about. I want to make that me proud of what I’ve done and how I’ve spent my life. She will be a harder judge than God, and I want her to look at this one little life and think, yes. I did what I meant to.
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mecharose · 15 hours
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💧 (old totk art i never posted from last year + a recent scribbly one)
twitter | ig | inprnt | patreon | store
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mecharose · 15 hours
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reposting some of my personal favorite art I’ve done after accidentally deleting my main blog.
this is my new main until further notice
🤍 prints | instagram | twitter | patreon | tattoo tickets | other links 🤍
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mecharose · 16 hours
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little brother
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mecharose · 16 hours
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