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melikeylikeyjimin · 5 years

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a/n: guess who finally got a laptop mofos? when I say that this fic has given me grief…..I am in no way exaggerating,,,, but, the past is behind us! let’s just enjoy it now 😅 pls…I seriously hope y’all like this. technically it’s still Friday for some people ;) and I promise that the story will get better as we go along.

Pairing: Hoseok x Female Reader

Genre: angst, fluff

Warnings for this chapter: Mentions of alcohol consumption, a creeper dude, emotional abuse, insinuations of past sexual abuse, insinuations of self harm, language.

Word count: 3.7k

Trigger Warning: if you are easily triggered by this type of stuff, pls don’t read it. I have some fluff on my account, you should enjoy that instead! Here’s a link to my other works → BTS ML

Tag list: @melikeylikeyjimin

If you wanna be on the tag list, send me an ask or dm :)

Daisies in the Dark Masterlist

All stories have a beginning and all stories have an end.

But, how does one know where to start a story? And maybe, sometimes we don’t want to know the end; since unfortunately, not all stories have a good finish. Perhaps we’d like to leave it unfinished and rewrite it in our minds, because all humans want a happy ending.

You’re still reading so I guess you’d like to see for yourself how this story goes.

Have you ever heard the story of how the sun fell in love with the moon?

No?

Well, you’re about to…

And I can’t promise you that it’s going to go the way you’d like.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

3 yrs before the incident

One more chance. I’ll give her one more chance, you thought as you grit your teeth, watching your once best friend in the lunch line chatting it up with the annoying girl from history class.

Your breath caught in your throat when your former bff Lena made eye contact with you from across the cafeteria after filling her lunch tray. A small smile went to find it’s way onto your face when Lena’s eye contact lingered, but it was gone in a matter of seconds when she just twitched an eyebrow and sauntered off to sit at a table across the room; the conversation between Lena and her new bestie continuing as if nothing had happened.

So it was true, she’d left you for someone else. Like you were worth nothing more to that girl than a tissue; use it once and throw it away. Not a very good comparison at the time, but that’s all you could think of as you watched them sit down; you were worth no more than a small used tissue.

Figures…

Your hands started to twitch awkwardly not knowing what to do with themselves now and you stared at the lasagna on your lunch tray; if you could even call it that–all it was was a lump of overcooked noodles drenched in sauce the color of a burnt tomato with who knows what posing as the ground beef, covered in a crispy layer of cheese.

You definitely weren’t hungry, but staring at the sad excuse for lunch in front of you and contemplating life as nothing more than a wisp of a tissue floating through the air, not knowing where it might end up–was better than watching Lena start a new chapter without you.

It didn’t make sense, you were best friends…weren’t you? Guess it didn’t matter now, since a friendship takes two people to make it work, and seeing as one was currently occupied elsewhere, you would have to make do with what you had, which was…a depressed piece of lasagna staring at you from it’s home on the untouched tray. You poked at it with your fork and looked at it-thinking. Then you whispered to the disheartening meal,

“Oh well…at least you’re not gonna leave me for that annoying- what was her name? I don’t even know, but who cares, right?”

Then you suddenly realized what you were doing and looked up quickly in embarrassment, afraid someone had seen you. But the regular drone of kids talking, shouting and laughing was the same as always. Of course no one had noticed, because you were invisible.

And you were talking to a piece of lasagna.

Highschool was great….

You were a senior this year, at seventeen. At least this was the last year of hell, then you could do whatever you wanted. You had a lot of things you wanted to do and places to travel to, maybe you couldn’t do them all but you’d be damned if you didn’t at least try.

But one thing was for sure, you couldn’t just sit there and stare at that fake lasagna pretending like Lena wasn’t betraying you right across the room. So you got up and brought your uneaten food to the window where kids leave their empty lunch trays and put your tray down, but kept the small carton of chocolate milk. Then headed out of the cafeteria to spend the rest of your lunchbreak in the library. You fiddled with the unopened milk carton and mumbled to yourself while you walked,

“It’s fine, I don’t need her anyway.”

Just numb the pain.

That wasn’t the first or the last time.

2 yrs before the incident

“Uhhh, ya know what little missy? I think if you give me twenty-five percent off everything, maybe we could come to a compromise?”

This man……was going to die in a minute if he kept going on like this.

You tried your hardest not to just scream at this pervert to leave and say you wouldn’t do a damn thing for him. You just settled for licking your dry lips while he started to smirk at you. He brought his hand up to rest against the counter, then started to slowly tap his fingers. You made eye contact with him and said sternly, “I’m sorry sir, but I can’t do that.”

“What if I give you my phone number? And we’ll make it fifteen percent…” He tried again, not once breaking eye contact with you.

“Excuse me sir-”

“Yes, doll?”

“Do you have a coupon?”

“No, I don’t bu-”

“Then no, we can’t move the price down at all, would you like to pay the full price or leave sir?” You stared him dead in the eyes, this creep, you thought angrily, how dare he call me that? I hope he just leaves, I don’t care if he doesn’t buy anything. The man leaned over the cash register, “hmm, this isn’t very good customer service. Maybe I won’t come back.” Please don’t, you thought, but instead of saying that you settled for, “it’s not about customer service, this is store policy, I’m sorry sir but I can’t do anything.”

“Ya know what? I like it when you call me sir- you say that a lot to me….what’s a pretty little lady like you doing working in a rundown grocery store, hm? What about college? You’re what, eighteen? If you’d like, I can give you my number and you won’t have to worry about this job, I’ll take care of you.” He smirked and arched an eyebrow at you from the other side of the counter.

It was probably a good thing there was a big cash register between the two of you, since you weren’t sure what would’ve happened if you had free range. By now your brain was just blurry and you saw nothing but blackness because of the fury settling inside. What a disgusting man. You didn’t care if you got fired, you were gonna teach him a lesson or two about trying to get young girls to do stuff for him in exchange for money. You leaned forward which made him lean back in surprise, then you said loud enough for the other people in line to hear,

“If you do not pay the full price right here right now, then leave. If you think I’m looking for a sugar daddy then you are sadly mistaken. You have enough money to pay for a girl’s life in exchange for your own personal services, so you have enough to pay the full thirty five dollars. There are people waiting behind you so make up your mind now, sir.” You said the last word mockingly and raised an eyebrow at him in defiance. The man’s eyes grew in shock, then he glared at you but he didn’t say a word as he threw forty bucks in your direction, grabbed his bags and stomped out of the store.

You took a deep breath and smiled at the next customer who cautiously came forward with their items.

The second you stepped through the door after working a twelve hour shift you slumped against the wall and yanked your sneakers off; dropping them to the floor carelessly. The apartment was dark so you assumed your mom wasn’t home- probably out drinking away her troubles again. Walking into the kitchen, you sighed at the sink full of dirty dishes, and the counters that were no better. The smell wasn’t too bad, probably because your nose was used to it by now. You walked to a cupboard and rummaged around until you found a sleeve of saltine crackers. After that you grabbed the softened butter and a knife and walked to your room; stepping over and around the miscellaneous junk spread throughout the apartment.

After about an hour of sitting on your bed, scrolling through your phone and munching on what your dinner was that night, you heard the door open and what you could only assume was your mother stumble inside. Your mother’s heels clacked against the hard floor by the door, then a heavier pair of footsteps could be heard with them. You sighed deeply, but stayed as quiet as you could. Not again, you thought miserably. Just, please just go do whatever you’re gonna do and leave me alone, you prayed silently squeezing your eyes shut.

There was a lot of stumbling and cursing and your chest was tight with anxiety, scared that at any moment they would drunkenly come into your room by accident. Eventually, your mother’s bedroom door slammed shut and you let out the breath you had been holding. Thank you God, thank you, you clasped your hands and shook them, then carefully and as quietly as you could, you set the remaining crackers and butter on your nightstand. Then you shifted in bed to lie on your left side and tried to make sure the bed didn’t creak at your movements– cringing a little when it squeaked a bit. It was gonna be alright, he–whoever he was, didn’t know you were in the house.

You closed your eyes and tried to ignore the lingering feeling on your skin, even though it had been over a year since the last time. You stuffed your hands over your ears, willing yourself to sleep despite whatever was going on on the other side of the wall.

Morning came all too soon, and with it a massive pounding headache from the lack of sleep. You groaned when the sun hit your eyes and made the darkness an annoying shade of orangey red from behind your eyelids, your brain in a fog from the tiny bit of sleep you were able to get even though it was plagued by nightmares. Then you suddenly snapped awake and shot up in bed, grabbing your chest and feeling all around yourself frantically, breathing a sigh of relief when you felt your shirt still on your body. You were okay, it was just another nightmare. You tried to steady your breathing while taking deep breaths in and blowing them out slowly. Then you looked towards the door and cupped a hand by your ear; listening intently. After a minute or two of silence that didn’t really prove anything, you sighed and swung your legs out of bed- planting your feet on the floor despite laundry being scattered everywhere. Sneaking towards the door you put an ear to it then slowly turned the knob. Normally you wouldn’t even be risking going out of the safety of your room but you really had to pee, you would just have to be quick.

You scurried quietly to the bathroom and when you were finished you were on your way back when your mom’s door swung open. You flinched and wrung your hands keeping your eyes downcast, too afraid to look up. But then you sighed in relief when it was only your mother that pushed past you to go to the bathroom. You decided to risk it and peeked into your mom’s bedroom. A weight lifted off your chest at the sight of the empty bed–he must have left earlier.

“Aren’t you supposed to be working or something? Why’re you just sitting around reading?” Your mother scoffed at you from the doorway, after slamming your bedroom door open to confront you.

You set your book down–not ready for another fight, “they gave me today off, I’m back on the schedule tomorrow.” Your mother just glared at you and crossed her arms, “oh, so you think we can afford to have you lying around, taking days off? Lazy ass.” With that she turned and slammed the door shut, leaving you to sit there and scold your heart to stop hurting, because it just wasn’t worth it.

You don’t need her Y/n…

Just numb the pain.

So that’s what you did.

1 ½ yrs before the incident

You walked into the apartment after three classes in a row; each one being about two hours long. You dropped your backpack by the door with a thud then changed your mind and picked it up again, not wanting another fight when someone tripped over it in their drunken state. You decided just putting it in your room would be best.

Canned vegetables with canned chicken really wasn’t too bad if one could figure out the right stuff to put in it. After years of this, you had discovered your favorite seasonings and you were mixing yourself up a nice concoction for lunch before going to work, humming and talking to yourself as you did so–when there was loud pounding on the front door.

You weren’t very alarmed, knowing exactly who it was, and so you opened the door and stepped aside as your mother staggered in, thankfully alone. Turning to look at you, your mother’s eyes were a bit glassy as she spoke, “is there any food around here or do I have to do all the work for that too?” She wasn’t drunk, but she wasn’t too far away from it. You didn’t say anything and just walked to the kitchen, took your lunch and handed it to your mother.

“I just made this for you, thought you’d be home soon.”

Your mom just snatched it away and walked to her room calling over her shoulder, “almost nineteen years old and all you can do is make a half-assed meal for the woman that gave up everything for your lazy ass.”

You just grabbed your bag and put your shoes on, trying to ignore the insistent hunger pangs in your stomach, then walked out the door for work.

“Y/n? May I speak with you please?” It was the next day and you were just leaving the history classroom when your professor called you over. Your grades were far from satisfactory, but you really did try. You walked over to Professor Kim’s (who also happened to teach your Korean class as well) desk and tried not to hang your head, since you knew what was coming. She was a nice lady, but could also be strict at times.

“Y/n, I’m going to get straight to the point. I heard that you wanted to travel to South Korea. We both know you’re struggling a bit in the academic department, but I know you’re a good girl, and you speak Korean pretty well.”

You looked up, utterly confused, this wasn’t about you almost failing history class? Professor Kim just smiled and continued, “there is a scholarship program to go and stay in Seoul for a year, learning Korean and going to the university there. I thought you might be interested in it.”

You were so shocked you couldn’t speak for a full minute, just stuttering out nonsense until Professor Kim laughed and put her hand on your shoulder. Then she handed you a packet, telling you to fill it out and give it back to her as soon as possible.

This couldn’t be happening. Good things didn’t happen to you. Could this actually be your escape?

You thanked Professor Kim over and over then scurried out of the room before anything else could be said and possibly destroy this amazing opportunity. As you left there was a new lift to your step.

Two weeks had passed and no word from the scholarship people. You turned nineteen in those two weeks, but that didn’t mean much to you. All you could think about was the scholarship. Things at home didn’t change, they never did. Until one day when you were heading home from work, completely exhausted, and you saw the mailman at the front door knocking. You ran up the steps but your mother opened the door right when you got there. You said hello to the man and took the mail from him, being our to thank him. When you turned to go inside, your mother snatched all the mail from you and stalked off. You followed her cautiously, “uh, may I see that? I think I might have gotten something.” Your mother turned and glared at you then spat, “and what could you have gotten in the mail? You don’t even have friends, and the bills are in my name.” You tried not to roll your eyes, even though the bills were in your mother’s name, she wasn’t the one paying them.

Scanning through the envelopes, your mother stopped when she saw one with the name Y/n Y/l/n on the front. She turned and looked at you accusingly, “what is this?” Before you had time to even process what you were doing you snatched the envelope out of her hands and dashed around her, running to your room. You shut the door and locked it, hearing the woman outside screaming horrible accusations and threats at you but not caring a single bit. The envelope was white–super white actually, almost looking unnatural. Your fingers shook as you gently tore it open, running a finger carefully along the top so you could pull the letter out. The paper inside was just as bright, and the bold black lettering stood out.

Your breathing hitched, was this actually happening? A second scan over the letter and a quick yet painful pinch to the arm confirmed that, yes, this was actually happening. Your hands trembled as you slowly pulled your phone out of your pocket and carefully typed in the number printed on the paper. The sounds of your mother screaming outside the door and hitting it, the cars outside, your own heart pounding in your ears- it all faded away to a dull thudding when you heared the ringing through the phone, once, twice, you held your breath, three rings in, four……click

“Hello? This is Jill Dunning, how can I help you?”

“H-hello? I- I was told to call you.”

“Are you Y/n Y/l/n, by any chance?”

You cleared your throat nervously, then took a deep breath before answering.

“Yes, I am.”

1 month later

The flight there was extremely long and tiring so by the time you were getting off; you could’ve cried tears of joy, having felt like the plane ride really was going to last forever and you’d never step on solid ground again. But there you were; standing in the middle of the Seoul airport, completely and utterly free.

Not to mention, completely and utterly lost.

You looked around but couldn’t see anything other than a lot of people rushing around; businessmen and women, families with little children that stared at you with wide eyes, college students; and yet not a single soul that looked like they might help you find who you were looking for. You shifted your heavy backpack and decided to walk a bit, maybe you could find where the luggage came through and you could at least collect the rest of your bags. After you walked for another minute you saw a sign with a suitcase on it, hanging from the ceiling with an arrow pointing down. You hurried over to where it was pointing and saw a giant metal thing with suitcases going around on it, people looking at tags and grabbing them before hurrying off again.

You walked over briskly and just in time too, because your two suitcases had just come around the bend in the giant machine. You double checked the tags and after confirming they were yours, you heaved them off the machine and caught your breath after setting them next to you. Then you had to figure out where you were and where your roommate, who was to be picking you up, was. You went to the name of your roommate in your contacts and pressed it before you held your phone to your ear. After one ring, the sweet voice of your roommate answered in Korean.

“Hello? Y/n?”

“Hey Eui, I just got here and I’m so lost. I just got my bags.”

“I’m so sorry Y/n! I’ll be there in less than five minutes. Traffic was awful, but I’m walking into the airport now. Just stay by the baggage area, ok?”

”Ok, thanks Eui.”

You had talked to her on the phone many times over the past four weeks and you really liked her, you couldn’t wait to meet in person. You hung up and looked around, watching everyone else go about their days; rushing to catch flights, leisurely browsing the shops in the airport, then you heard an excited squeal and turned to see a girl running and jumping into the arms of a boy who you assumed was her boyfriend. You just smiled and kept looking around- trying not to think about how badly you wished that was you.

“Y/n?”

You turned at the sound of Eui’s voice and smiled widely when she approached you with open arms. Eui wrapped her arms around you and then pulled away, still smiling, “welcome to Seoul, are you ready to start over?” That had to be the best sentence you ever heard in your life. You smiled back at her and grabbed one of your suitcases while Eui grabbed the other one.

“Definitely.”

And you were; a new place, a new school, a friendly face, and no people from your past. It was time to start over and let things go, because life just got a whole lot easier.

You had no idea that whether you liked it or not, your past would continue to haunt you, no matter how many miles away you ran.

“Let’s go.”

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#read this!!!#its so good you wont regret #my love

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