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meme-owo-cryptid

Fred Says F*ck

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Fun Fact

Tumblr paired up with Humans of New York to raise money for Hurricane Sandy relief.

meme-owo-cryptid·8 hours agoPhoto

magicmazzic:

majorlykira:

godsrev0lver:

ichaserabbits:

the-venereal-bede:

bondsmagii:

kaelio:

kaelio:

kaelio:

I assumed everyone knew this, but

image

candy desk . yeah I know you’re like “it would be stupid in a tv show if a senator famous for being a libertarian idiot whose ribs got broken in a fistfight over yard waste was infected with a virus from a one-in-a-century pandemic and continued to rifle around in the senate republican’s candy pile”. well sorry Sorkin but this is the real world and that’s just how it is

oh yeah because I forgot to mention, it was Rand Paul because of fucking course it was

also in case you didn’t know this, the US Capitol also has its own little rinky dink subway system that only they can use at it looks like this

and it looked like this in 1912 because yep it’s been there that whole time

willy wonka’s chocolate factory

article tells me there are, in fact, separate candy desks for republican and democrat senators. the republican candy desk, which is the better-known one, is operated by a singular sugar daddy, while democrats can contribute to a candy fund in order to partake of their side’s hoard

@ us senate yall really run a country like this????

Jesus Christ if you read it in a book you’d say it was too on the nose. What the fuck.

Republicans make confectioners donate all their candy to them while the democrats pitch in to pay for the candy are you fucking kidding me…I had to read the article myself and it’s somehow worse than I thought

in times like these people say things like “we need to throw it all out and start over” which is absolutely true but we also need to divest of all this whimsical shit in its entirety. if I saw, with my eyeballs, a congressperson like, vote against raising minimum wage or whatever and then take a handful of literal candy from a communal candy desk and then hop on the Magical Senator Train to Clown Town I would be in prison for murder.

Willy Wonka’s Racism Factory

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meme-owo-cryptid·6 days agoPhoto

geekandmisandry:

averruncusho:

definitely-not-lordenglish:

irridallium:

somebodylost-chan:

lovelyladylunacy:

edgaristhefox:

furbearingbrick:

trebled-negrita-princess:

blackgirlsinlove:

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

mika-misaki2:

I don’t know who Megan Kelly is but I wanna piss her off

dis bitch

“Verifiable fact” 😭😂

I’d PISS ON HER tbh

btw Saint Nicholas, whom Santa Claus is based on, was a black guy

and we don’t know exactly what jesus looked like, but here’s an artistic reconstruction of an average 20-something male from his ethnic group at the time

DOES THIS LOOK FUCKING WHITE TO YOU

I want this post everywhere

jesus was represented more or less accurately as an ethnically jewish arab man up until the reign of pope alexander vi, in the late 15th century. since he was viciously persecuting roman jews during this time, alexander wanted to make them less sympathetic to the public, and did so in part by ordering that portrayals of jesus be based off of his son, cesare borgia.

the reason “jesus is white” is because someone purposefully attempted to alter the perception of history to benefit his goal of persecuting a targeted ethnic group.

Ooh, interesting historical note.

I don’t usually share posts like this but I always want to piss off Megan Kelly

Canon Santa not fanon Santa

The bible canon’s been muddled so much that Jesus could be a bald asian trans woman for all we know

So Jesus is modeled after an incestuous, horny, 15th century Italian?

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meme-owo-cryptid·8 days agoPhoto

celestial-waifu:

fetus-cakes:

prismatic-bell:

the-invisible-self:

pulmonary-poultry:

the-spoopy-ghost-of-raejin99:

mandalorianreynolds:

kuriquinn:

prismatic-bell:

the-spoopy-ghost-of-raejin99:

prismatic-bell:

broken-bits-of-dreams:

prismatic-bell:

aiko-mori-hates-pedos:

artbymoga:

Throwback to all these Jesus comics I drew in 2012…

Good post OP

Good post, OP, and if you ever decide to do another may I please suggest “NOT IN HEBREW IT DOESN’T” as a punchline? So much of the Old Testament is HORRIFICALLY translated from the Tanakh, it drives me batty.

WAIT WAIT WHAT DOES IT SAY?????? I NEED TO LIKE,, DESTROY MI MUM FOR BEING REALLY HOMOPHOBIC

Okay, so, strictly speaking, the infamous Leviticus 18:22 does say “forbidden.” Here’s the thing:


1) The word translated as “forbidden” is “toevah.” While that translation isn’t … wrong, it’s sort of like saying “McMansion” means “really big house.” There are a lot of connotations in that word. The specific issue with toevah is that we … sort of … don’t know anymore exactly what it meant. Based on context, it seems likely that the word referred to something ritually forbidden. This part of Torah was written not only as a guide for future generations, but also to say “so, look around, see your neighbors? DON’T DO THAT.“ Thus, if we interpret “toevah” to mean something that’s forbidden to do as a ritual before G-d, then the verse says nothing whatsoever about Adam and Steve and their two kids and their dog–it’s saying you shouldn’t have sex with another man in the Temple as a sacrifice.


2) Following the same “this is ritually forbidden” logic of toevah, this verse may also be interpreted as “don’t do sex magic,” which was a thing in. Like. A lot of fucking cultures at the time.


3) Hebrew is a highly gendered language, and the grammatical gender in this verse is really really weird. One of the “men” in this verse is given female grammar. Why? Who fucking knows, man, this isn’t the only grammatical oddity in Torah. (There are also places where G-d is referred to as plural, and also as female.) One suggestion is that this is a way of creating a diminutive–that is, that the verse should be read as “a man should not lie with a boy.” Now, it’s worth noting that modern secular scholarship has concluded the written Torah was written down around the 6th century BCE, and most non-Orthodox Jewish scholars are like “yeah, all things considered, that sounds pretty legit.”


Do you know what else was happening around the 6th century BCE? What laypeople tend to mean when they say “ancient Greece” was happening.


Do you know what happened a lot in that time period in Greece? Dudes forming relationships with younger boys, like ages 10-15, and using them for sex in exchange for financial gifts, mentorship, etc. While we don’t know just how young some of these younger boys may have been, we do know some were prepubescent. In light of this, and also something I mentioned under the first point–”see your neighbors? DON’T DO THAT,” if this verse is interpreted to say “a man should not lie with a boy,” then it’s pretty clearly “my dudes, my fellows, my lads, don’t be fucking pedophiles.”


4) Because of the grammar I mentioned in #3, it’s also possible that “should not lie with a man as with a woman” is actually referring to a place, not an abstract personhood: a man shouldn’t have sex with another man in a woman’s bed. In the time period, a woman’s bed was sort of like–that was her place, her safe sanctuary. It was also a ritually holy place where babies were made. By having sex in her bed, you’re violating her safe space (and also introducing a man who may not be a male relative, thus forcing her into breaking the laws of modesty). If this verse is read this way, then it should be taken to mean “don’t sexually violate a woman’s safety and modesty.”


5) And as an offshoot of #4, this may be a second verse relating to infidelity. Which woman’s bed is any random dude in 600 BCE most likely to have access to? His wife’s. But laws were administered differently based on whether the person they pertained to was slave or free, male or female, and so on–thus, a man committing adultery with a woman would be treated differently than man committing adultery with a man (especially because the latter would carry no chance of an illegitimate pregnancy).



So you’ll note, there are a lot of ways to read this verse, and only a one-to-one translation with no cultural awareness produces “being gay is wrong, all of the time”.


(You’ll also notice the word “abomination” is nowhere to be found. That’s like … a straight-up fiction created for who only knows what reason.)

Apparently tumblr mobile doesn’t want to show @prismatic-bell ’s long and in-depth essay, so here’s the screenshots, because it still shows up on mobile browsers:

Much appreciated.

I love when scholarship and history debunks bullshit

…I sadly have more bullshit to report.


“removed for violating guidelines”, EVERY screenshot.

…goddamnit

Let’s try this again

I am horrified that @prismatic-bell keeps getting censored + this info is gold.

Many thanks, @pulmonary-poultry. This isn’t the only Jewish post of mine that’s mysteriously stopped showing up in searches and/or vanished from my blog entirely, but it is the one I get the most requests to repost, so this saves me from having to rewrite the whole damned essay. @the-invisible-self, thanks for bringing it to my attention that someone was able to preserve the post!

what the FUCK??? WHICH community guidelines would an analysis of the Old Testament violate??

unless tumblr staff is just removing images that get reported a bunch of times

Never not gonna reblog

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meme-owo-cryptid·12 days agoPhoto

jewishyasha:

awesome-picz:

People Spotted Total Jerks During The Coronavirus Crisis

Remember to call your Attorney General if you catch these fuckers price gouging

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meme-owo-cryptid·14 days agoText

cyber-phobia:

Tododeku fusion!

I spent about a month searching the dark corners of the fandom for this kind of thing and I’ve absorbed it all, so now I’m here to provide the content y'all are missing out on.

Concept sketches below:

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meme-owo-cryptid·16 days agoVideo

adobsonartworks:

battlecrazed-axe-mage:

vigarath:

ayriath:

sensicalabsurdities:

miatasenpai:

island-delver-go:

8bitmickey:

tanoraqui:

threefeline:

creepsandcrawlers:

jelloapocalypse:

dastardlypineapple:

probablyottrpgideas:

strangestquarkwave:

professorsparklepants:

vigarath:

Size comparison of Y’gathok, the Ceaseless Hunger and Bjorn, our level 20 Goliath Barbarian.

Hey quick question: why the FUCK do you have that

Imagine, from out of nowhere, your dm casually slapping this thing down on the table like any other encounter.

“Yeah, the fight will start in a sec, uh…I’ll give inspiration to whomever helps me get this fucking box out of my car.”

https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/7asxci/oc_ygathok_the_ceaseless_hunger_final_boss_of_our/

This is the reveal of this ridiculousness during their game

Please watch this reveal video it’s kickass

FUCK ME  the reveal video

“CHRIS??????”

“Um, I don’t think our plan is gonna work.”

Always reblog Y'gathok

DM:*Pulls out Y’gothok* *Turns on “Open Your Heart” by Crush 40*

Wow that DM really goes above and beyond

Reblogging Ygathok because it’s been one year since we fought him!!!! It just popped up on my timeline today!

Happy one year anniversary, our precious Old God boi!!!

One year ago today, this boy was revealed.

And for you guys, I have great news: I have the stats of Y’gathok complete and a general design for “how to use him” done. However, an adventure guide is incoming to teach you how to integrate him into any of your worlds!

Goddamn. That’s how you DM with style

Always reblog this whenever it comes around!

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