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BIG FLOPPA AND THE 3 RETARDS SAVE THE WORLD: a floptastic fanfiction

CHAPTER 1: it begins.

There he was, big floppa, world renowned rapper and body builder, about to open up belle delphines onlyfans once again, to rub one out for the 8th time that day. He knew he had a problem, but god dammit he couldnt stop, it seems even a being as powerful as floppa, couldnt resist the giant tittys that those e-thots possessed. He was a man shackled by the horny.

AND THEN *crash* *bang* *ggrgrkkkgrgrkaka!* a strange man comes crashing through the window, gun in hand and opens fire. Floppa uses instant transition from dragon ball z to go behind him and slits his throught with his immaculately sharpened claws. Wondering who this impostor (AMONG US REFERENCE HAHAHA) was, he searched the body, and found, a german passport.

He sent a message into the flop gang discord server and told zabloing googas and sogga to meet him, as they was to travel to germany and find out who this man was. He knew he wasnt working alone, there was definitely more and he had to find out who wanted him, and take them out, before he got killed himself.

CHAPTER 2: travelling europe

Obviously, being a war criminal, using traditional methods of transport was out of the equation for such a sexy beast, instead they had to travel by raft, such as one used by foreigners to get overseas and take advantage of the welfare systems we have in place, only floppas doing it for the greater good of mankind.

They set sail the next day, bringing some of his possessions, mainly shrimp, whiskey, and the ironicis. The ironicis is a small object which helps you understand surreal memes, and thus, the past future and present. He knows he must keep it safe, for if it falls into the wrong hands it could have devastating consequences.

They are on the dingy boat, "hey greg, can i borrow some of your shrimp" zabloing says, like a fucking asshole. "WHAT! dont call me greg and no you cant dickwad, shouldve bought your own" floppa replys angrily "but maaaaaaaaaam" zabloing says in the voice if cartman from southpark "IM NOT YOUR MOM YOUR MOM DIED OF SYPHILIS A MONTH AFTER YOU WAS BORN" floppa lashes out with rage "Damn flop you didnt have to go that hard on him" sogga said, "he didnt have to ask for my shrimp" floppa replied sarcastically.

They approach there destination, the floppa tribe of germanys hideout in the small town of Waltershof, Hamburg. There they meet with there brethrens, caracals in arms, who swear to help there brothers at all costs, and big floppa there lord and saviour. They enter the building to great applause, and happiness that there lord and saviour has returned, but floppa, and maro caracal both knew this was serious business, and she invited him into the back room for a private discussion.

CHAPTER 3: knowledge is power

Floppa, zabloing, googas and sogga went into the back for a private discussion with maro, leader of the german floppa tribe.

"Look, i allready know why your here, and weve started working on the situation" maro said, she continued, "we dont know what they want yet, but our guy will be back shortly, hes been high up in the german government for years and he should have the information we need, until then you stay here and keep in hiding" "agreed, thats what we shall do, any idea when your guy will be back" floppa replied "soon, hopefully".

They spend the night in the hideout, floppa goes to flop, googas smokes some weed, sogga and zabloing go around trying to pick up chicks, getting rejected at every turn, its a good job aswell beacuse they didnt seem to care how old these girls were and they were allready wanted criminals.

The next day, they all wake up early and await the return of the floppa tribes spy, exepct for sogga. A few hours pass and he returns, with news so shocking and evil it would make isis look like a 4 year olds birthday party. "Master maro, iv found what the germans want... they want the ironicis... they plan on using it to go back into ww2 and helping the nazis win,,, and thus take over the world. Angela Merkels the head of all this, and shes in the boses versteck, an the germans evil lair in berlin" he shows them where this is specifically, and says it takes about 2 days on foot to get there.

"Okay, we need to go now, we have to time to waste, ill go get sogga, you two get ready" floppa replied. Floppa throws a brick at soggas lazy fucking head "sog get up you jackass were leaving in 20 minutes" "what the fuck is wrong with that guy" he muttered. They said there goodbyes to maro and everyone else at the tribe hideout, and set for there journey to berlin.

CHAPTER 4: were going on an adventure assholes

"Are we there yet" "no" "Are we there yet" "no" "Are we there yet" "no" "Are we there yet" "no" "Are we there yet" "oh my god zabloing shut the fuck up before i shove a packet of batteries up your ass!" Floppa screamed. Zabloing shut the fuck up after that. They stepped foot in berlin, knowing they still had a while to go before they was at the boses versteck however, they decided to go for a drink.

CHAPTER 5: imprisoned for there crimes

There in the bar, the B.F GOOGAS: turns out it was originally opened by a relative of googas in the late 1800s. They were having a jolly gay time, drinking away, slowly the night goes on and on. Big floppa has shot after shot of rum and jack daniels, whilst also sexually harassing the girl behind the bar, all was well, until he saw 2 police officers walk up to him "what seems to be the officer problem" he said as he struggled to stand up. "Big floppa and the 3 retards, your coming with us" they try to put up a fight but in this state its worthless, and they end up in a police cell, and the police end up with the ironicis. "Zabloing i need to ask you a question" floppa said "go on" zabloing replied. "Did you have..... nord vpn.....installed on your phone" "no" zabloing said "you fucking idiot" floppa said with disgust. Some days go by, with not much to speak about, other than being fed food which wasnt shrimp :( they didnt know what to do.

UNTIL !?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?? BINGUS!?!?!??!?!?!?!

The world famous ninja assassin bingus flys through the roof and kills all the police in sight, he throws ninja stars in there eyes, chops some of there heads of with swords and just overall is being a proper badass, despite being long time enemys with floppa, he knows floppa is the only one who can save the world, so puts there differences aside. he gets the cell key and lets the 4 go, and gives them vital equipment, such as ninja stars, nunchucks, battle axes, 3 litres of mountain dew, a fidget spinner, a hello kitty colouring book, its surprising how much he can fit in that foreskin of his. Floppa and co thank him, they go there seprate ways, and now its up to floppa and the 3 retards to save the world.

CHAPTER 6: the end is near

Luckily, the police station they were being held at was close to the boses versteck, meaning there wasnt far to travel. Furious at the fact zabloing didnt have nord vpn installed on his phone, floppa made him wear a pair of cat ears as punishment, no one knows why he had these on his person and it was all a bit sus, but they moved on to the boses versteck, knowing they had to reclaim the ironicis and stop the germans building a time machine, and they didnt have long to do it.

They were there in no time, it was midnight when they arrived, but that played to there advantage. They had to sneak in and go the silent but deadly route. Caracals have large paws, do they decided theyd dig there way past the giant walls of the building, as floppa was "built different" he elected to do it and the others didnt disagree, he dug the tunnel and they went through, one guard was there, but an easy slient flop attack did the trick, and Gregory took his uniform to use as a disguise. They made there way through and took out guards as they went, getting disguises for the other 3 in the process, finnaly zabloing could get rid of those slutty e girl cat ears.

They coudlnt get into the main building however, the door was locked and no key was in sight, it appeared it had to be opened from the inside, but alas, there was an opening, there was an air vent high up, but they figured they could go on each other shoulders, and luckily bingus gave them a set of screwdrivers in his starter kit he gave them, at first this seemed odd to them but now it all made sense. So zabloing went first, being the leanist and went through the vent, taking out the guards silently and opening the door from the inside, now, they just had to find Merkel.

CHAPTER 7: lets kill those nazi pricks

They all made there way through the building, the small dick energy radiating like nothing they had seen before, all the guards had vans old skools on which was strange with there nazi uniforms, but it is what it is. They eventually found the chamber... they noticed they had a big portal machine up and running, they were about to enter, was it to late?

*CRASH BANG BRKRRKRBRKR* "OH YEAAAAHHHH" floppa shouted like the cool-aid man as he yeeted himself through the wall. An epic fight scene insued which probably shouldve been directed by Zak Schneider but we move, floppa used his floppy dick attack to slap up all the guards, zabloing through ninja stars aimed at there penises (or pussys. Were not sexist here.) Sogga used the old fashioned 'new rapper' technique, and googas used a set of cock shaped daggers to attack them all. It was an odd selection of tools and weapons bingus gave them fr.

There was just one bitch left, the bitch herself Angela Merkel, she had the ironicis in hand, but had seemingly frozen out of shock. Floppa pissed in her eye so she couldnt see, and choped of her head with a comically large sword which was far to big for him to use, but the point is, she was dead. After this they decided to eat her for lunch snd left shortly afterwards, returning to the german floppa tribe hideout and going back to Moscow soon after. Floppa destroyed the ironicis, knowing how much pain and devastation it could cause, he never wanted to have to do this again. And so he went home, to finish that wank he started before he got attacked, THE END.

#floppaverse #dank memes #meme #memes #dankest memes #cat memes #big floppa #floppa

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