menaceborn

[menaceborn]

crosshair :handshake: ayru reluctantly stepping up as an older brother to a younger character after escaping a prison with them

#i'm sorry i like crosshair a lot #i know he's an ass (that doesn't quite cover it but whatever) but he's my scrunkly now i fear #HE ALWAYS REMINDED ME OF AYRU TBF partly because all clones do and partly bc he's uhhhh #morally questionable but #“loyalty meant something to me‚ but with the empire it didn't go both ways. I realized how disposable I was” YEAH!!! #canon m/aul obviously did not get the redemption/found family arc I'm trying to envision for ayru with this blog but #at least I get to live vicariously thru crosshair #also i lied in my last post i was not on ep 7 i was on ep 6 i'm just stupid #but i AM on ep 7 now #GODDDD thinking about the 358k words redeemed m/aul fic where he gets a squadron of clones and they become a little family #and eogan even shows up and AAAA it's so good #all of the clones are OCs and it's so funny to me i read the fic before really consuming any clone media so for a good while those clone OC #were the only clone characters I could name. they're all still very dear to me #bail and breha are in the fic too and they make me so happy :) #sorry derailed the tbb post to talk about a random fic LOL

[menaceborn]

catching up on tbb finally

#i'm on... episode 7 #also kinda missing my swtor OCs again bc occasionally crosshair has his like. douchebag moments and that reminds me of them SJGKSDGSDG #overall he doesn't really remind me of them but there are just little moments

[menaceborn]

playing so much swtor that when I finally rewatch one of the prequels I'll hear part of the soundtrack and immediately go "OMG SWTOR MUSIC!"

#it's no longer prequel music to me. it's now random swtor cutscene music #specifically there's like... a tune that plays in ep 3 right before anakin goes “how can you do this? this is outrageous” #and i swear it plays so fucking often in swtor shgjsdhgsg #swtor also does have some really nice original music though #the like... last part of The Mandalorian Blockade is so fucking good #I also love the music for taris #I only got into swtor because of how much I loved kotor as a kid and Taris The Plague is so eerie. it's perfect imo

[menaceborn]

surprisingly I got more insp for my swtor oc/sith warrior than i did for ayru

watching dune part 2 tomorrow, i'm sorry for the person i'm about to become

#i've got keyn'to on the brain now #I wanna make a blog for keyn'to tbh but. he's old republic era and due to the nature of the force sensitive swtor player characters #it's a bit hard to adapt their stories into a prequels / originals / sequels verse #partly because they're so intertwined with the old republic setting and partly because they inhabit a sort of. pseudo chosen one role #and with the sith characters it's even harder because of the rule of two LOL #maybe I could do a reincarnation or like... summoning/possession verse but idk #I LOVE KEYN'TO DEARLY but... maybe he's just not meant for the tumblr rp scene #ayru's great great great great great great great great great (...) grandfather

[menaceborn]

watching dune part 2 tomorrow, i'm sorry for the person i'm about to become

#dune scratches my sw itch better than 90% of recent sw media has done #crossing my fingers that there's a piss break midway through the movie though or i'll die i think #gonna return with many ayru thoughts tomorrow hopefully

[menaceborn]

bald maul vs even balder maul

he's simply my everything

#giving him the BIGGEST toothiest grin was shameless fanservice for myself #unrelated but god i miss photoshop to bad #my display tablet does NOT like my graphics card so when I try to use photoshop while my tablet is plugged in photoshop just shits itself #and glitches out and dies #thank god I got an ipad last summer so I can still do digital art but like. it just is so hard for me to paint in procreate the way i like #to paint... I am finally getting a feel for it after half a year but it still doesn't feel as nice as painting in photoshop #ANYWAY he has a brow piercing too but i forgot to add it

[menaceborn]

*remembers my hc that ayru is covered in lightning strike scars* uh oh

watching the a/tla live action show (it's not great, just alright, but I'm enjoying it) has made me realize how z/uko coded my portrayal of Ayru is. it was not my intention, but there's no escape from our childhood obsessions I fear

#they're not super noticeable because of his skin color and his tattoos #but tbh even his tattoos are like. a scar that sheev gave him in a way #(reminder that I follow the canon of the original sw legends explanation that they are sith tattoos and not the TCW retcon) #ayru *is* proud of them because of his conditioning and brainwashing but they're also another reminder and symbol of what was #taken from him and what was done to him #tattoos are a part of iridonian culture but visually they're so different from sith tattoos... or at least the tattoos that were #given to ayru #iridonian tattoos are. almost subtle in a way. they're gentle and they compliment your natural features instead of overpowering them #i do think ayru's tattoos are beautiful but my point is that he looks like a completely different person without them #and that he didn't choose to get them #they weren't a rite of passage. they weren't a symbol of honor (although that's how ayru has come to view them) or respect #they're just the markings of a cult

[menaceborn]

watching the a/tla live action show (it's not great, just alright, but I'm enjoying it) has made me realize how z/uko coded my portrayal of Ayru is. it was not my intention, but there's no escape from our childhood obsessions I fear

#it's the red-themed son trying to prove himself to his abusive and comically evil father #and then I had to go and slap a pseudo-redemption arc onto m/aul too LOL #which also heavily centers around found family #something something z/uko heir to the throne something something ayru thought he would be heir to the empire #i also think an ayru & o/bi-wan friendship could be very z/uko & a/ang coded #(EXCUSE THE HEAVY CENSORING I am fighting for my LIFE trying to get this post to stay out of the tags) #btw i'm not saying anything is a 1/1 comparison i'm just thinking out loud that. maybe rewatching atla about 20 times as a teen might've #influenced me as a writer a bit LOL

[menaceborn]

Anyway I think maybe Ayru deserves a no-rule-of-two AU where Sheev did not go *insert that one Toy Story meme that goes 'I don't want to play with you anymore* at him as soon as he got Anakin, and maybe Ayru was put in charge of the inquisitors by the time the republic falls, but with some inspiration taken from SWTOR's portrayal of inquisitors + the Emperor's Hand

#and like maybe he deserves an AU of this AU where he finally decides he has HAD it and takes the inquisitors and they all go rogue with him #because they too have HAD it and who's gonna hunt them down if they all leave huh? #hunting down rogue force sensitives was THEIR job but now they're on a strike

[menaceborn]

finished fallen order :) time to wait for survivor to go on sale

#I've heard survivor has some pretty huge performance issues so no way I'm paying 70 eur for that #fallen order did have some stuttering but I think it was just when it was loading new areas? which wouldn't be an issue except that seemed #to always happen while I was mid-air LOL #me: *trying to catch a rope mid air or something* the game: LET'S FREEZE FOR A SECOND #anyway I did end up liking this game but it also just sort of made me miss the jedi knight games #because although I /did/ enjoy the combat I also still think jedi outcast (and academy but personally i just favor outcast) handles #lightsaber combat the best out of any SW game I've ever played #the combat in fallen order really was perfectly fine #what the jedi knight games have over fallen order imo is that the lightsaber combat in those games feels so uniquely lightsaber-y #whereas in fallen order it feels more generic WHICH AGAIN is fine! #I wish there were more bosses LOL #not the little ones / the ones that randomly show up when you return to certain areas #but bosses as in ninth sister / trilla / malicos (who was not in the game nearly as much as I thought he would be) #because learning their patterns and movements and how to counter play them was imo the most fun part of the game #i was INCREDIBLY frustrated when I first went up against the ninth sister because I hadn't gotten used to the combat yet and I don't have #experience with a similar system from another game so it took me like 7 tries or so before it clicked in my head and I could finally #beat her but I didn't have any problems after that #ANYWAY... #EA when are you gonna give us a (new) bounty hunter game

[menaceborn]

This game isn't real... there's no way this game is real

#I'M TRYING TO HARD NOT TO LAUGH OUT LOUD RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IT'S LIKE 6AM #BUT I /JUST/ UNLOCKED THE DOUBLE JUMP ABILITY AND IMMEDIATELY I ACCIDENTALLY FIND OUT YOU CAN FUCKING FLY #this game is so silly #so so incredibly silly

[menaceborn]

cal: that's the thing that took down the ninth sister me: the nightsister? we've met merrin once for like 2 seconds, what do you mean took down the nightsister?

#he said ninth sister like 3 times and every time I heard NIGHT sister #I was worried I'd fucked up the campaign order or something for a second there #also completely unrelated but I think maybe I should give Ayru a poncho #as a treat you know?

[menaceborn]

giggling and kicking my feet during the cage fight sequence

#*thinks about Maul: Lockdown* *thinks about Maul: Lockdown* *thinks about Mau- #also... sorc tormo... sorry but LMAO I was not expecting a character like that in a game like this #*gay-ly* I'M SORC TORMO‚ BABY #also considering !legends maul is sort of a cage fighting legend (or i assume so given how the fights on coghive 7 are described + they wer #livestreamed and highly profitable) it's gonna be so fun for ayru in his bounty hunter era whenever he runs into any like... crime lords wh #might've been into watching that shit in 31~ bby LOL #i personally HC that he did not get most of his tats until /after/ the events of Lockdown but he's still like... a flaming red zabrak who #scowls 24/7. He does look different with the tattoos of course but he's not that hard to recognize from up close. Especially if u have #video footage to compare with LOL #I shant lie i'm warming up to the game a little (I was /not/ having fun with it yesterday but today I have been) and it is giving me a bit #of muse... not saying I'm coming back to this blog right now but I'm thinking about Ayru at least

[menaceborn]

playing jedi fallen order and I went to dathomir and Merrin having a dathomirian accent, only for the nightbrothers to have perfect american accents fucking KILLED me

#LIKE I'M SORRY BUT THAT'S SO FUNNY #WHY ARE THE TWO NIGHTBROTHERS EVEN SPEAKING GALACTIC BASIC TO EACH OTHER IN THE FIRST PLACE #like we all know how I feel about dathomir and the nightsisters/nightbrothers in general BUT ISN'T #dathomir supposed to be this isolated planet that not a lot of people even know about? #I'm sorry but they would not be speaking english/basic. much less with a usamerican accent #actually they might've had british accents i'm not sure. they're dead now so i can't check (not that british accents would be any better)

[menaceborn]

the avatar brainrot is so bad rn

#i shant lie i wasnt very hype for the new game but now I've got like 30+ hours in it already #it's such a pretty game. it's definitely not perfect but i think it expands on a lot of #what i liked about the 2009 game but also learned from that game's mistakes #but... i might also be biased because the plot is so reminiscent of like... maul LOL #and the game has like a set of names you can choose for your ikran and i kid you not #one of the names is “amay” #you know... like am'ayru #(my HC birth name for maul) #so obviously i chose to make my ikran red+black+yellow and named it amay #and the player character even pronounces Amay the same way I've been pronouncing it in amayru in my head this whole time LOL #i wasn't gonna buy this game bc it's stupid expensive but then i found out u can get it for super cheap by just subbing to ubisoft+ #or whatever it's called #and since the game is singleplayer (there's a coop mode but like... w/e) i dont think I'll be playing it for more than a few weeks at most #so i dont mind losing access to it after a month #i feel like not making this game an mmo is a missed opportunity... i know mmos are expensive to develop but they've got #a crazy big map already that easily could be expanded on. they've got crafting and resource collecting #they've got a clan favor system etc etc etc and a ton of side missions #some of which could be turned into coop operations/raids with minor tweaks #they're even trying to sell skins which is like???? very questionable in a first person singleplayer game #the character customization is also a funny choice here #but idk i was pleasantly surprised by this game

[menaceborn]

I haven't been in a very star wars-y mindset lately, but i'll probably return to here either when andor s2 comes out or when i inevitably rewatch season 1

#i by chance heard (one of the) intro(s) to an andor episode and nearly started bawling on the spot #it's hard for me to explain the emotion that show makes me feel but it's a lot #anyway i've not been doing great. ended up having to drop out of... idk what it'd be in english... college? uni? of whatever #because of stress/schizophrenia but it's alright. i'll figure something out

[menaceborn]

redeemed au ayru being put partly in charge of teaching clones infiltration techniques and shit... hand-to-hand and close quarters combat... spy shit

#*sprinkles in a bit of how-to-effectively-fight-force-sensitives and then later helps out the clones who want to defect* #i love my handful of redeemed AUs that live inside my head bc despite ayru being....... redeemed and the jedi order being a big part of tha #he would still refuse to outright be a jedi in any of those AUs #he will never (this goes for my main verse too) be what sheev intended for him to be but he also won't be what the jedi would want him to b #which is why i think the jedi/the republic would want to put him in charge of training clones as opposed to padawans. they don't want to #waste him as a resource (and they also want him where they can keep an eye on him) but despite not being Evil he's too rebellious #he still sees too much merit in the sith philosophy and regardless of how much merit he simultaneously sees in the jedi code and philosophy #that makes him too dangerous to have him wandering around the jedi temples for an extended period of time #but. given that the galaxy is at war he's just too valuable of an asset to not use #the jedi don't want him going around telling padawans that murder is alright but they don't care if he says it to the clones