messydotcom

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yes

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Does the weight of your trauma ever just randomly hit you like a freight train even when you thought it couldn't hurt you anymore.

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I didn’t think I’d ever live or be this old and now that I’m here I actually don’t know what to do.

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“are you ok?” lol fuck no

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Lol it was a good couple weeks, now I want to die again

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living with trauma is wild because one day you can be okay and everything is “fine” (as much as fine can be tbh). you can do everything u need to do, u might even think ur life is back on track and then one day you can just have a complete traumatic flashback episode and u almost lose months of progress

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what happened

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mental health check:

googling “can i die from too much benadryl or nyquil” because like, i wanna sleep for a long time but not die, you know what i mean? but also, if i DID die, i wouldn’t be mad at that? if that even makes sense

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LEAVE ME BE

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The day I die will be the best day of my life ✨

#bpd #bpd vent #vent #actually bpd

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therapist: when was the last time you felt suicidal 

me: right ………….. now ?

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when will i honestly stop drinking like what the fuck

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i feel so alone, it hurts :(:(