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mhd17 · 1 year

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💞 the death anxiety coping mechanisms post 💞

you have a small little animal (yourself) and you must treat it gently etc etc

part one: thoughts I keep in my pocket for when I start spiralling about the concept of nothingness (aka your brain is a liar)

mark twain philosophy: “i had been dead for billions and billions of years before i was born…” - this doesn’t usually help me honestly (too abstract) but it’s something ive been told before by other people that they use!

that’s a problem for another day - my death does not meaningfully exist to me until the moment before it happens. until it exists, it has no authority to dictate my life or emotions. (this is the put that shit off method of denial and any insinuations that it’s unhealthy will be met with an immediate bonk on the head with my rubber mallet)

being afraid doesn’t last forever, actually - do you ever spiral so bad you start spiralling about spiralling? good time to remind yourself that fear of death tends to lessen, rather than increase, as you age <3

says who? - devils advocate toddler your brain into submission method. why are you so convinced by your worst case scenario? is it a rational or anxiety-driven conclusion? if it’s rational, on whose authority? yours? humans have extremely inflated egos of ourselves. you understand nothing about anything, especially death. you’re convinced by your worst case scenario because you’re five steps from being a smooth brained koala and what you think has zero bearing on the mechanisms of the universe. sit down.

dad goes first - i have a dead dad and if he could deal with it (whatever happens after death) so can i. it’s the equivalent of feeling better about cliff diving after your friend does it. it’s like…we are holding hands as we walk into the next stage of our part in the universe, and it’s okay if we don’t have to do it alone <3

matter cannot be created or destroyed - pretty self explanatory but the idea that my life and death follows a natural cycle in which parts of me (if not my consciousness) continue to live on extremely comforting to me. i am become mulch

the fantasy game - your brain is so good at conjuring bad thoughts. time for your best case thoughts. this basically counteracts the catastrophizing part of distorted thoughts caused by anxiety disorders. what’s your ideal after-death scenario? i like to think of being everywhere, not thinking but not not-existing, just being a completely integrated part of the fabric of the universe, and being fully and totally at peace with place in everything :) the goal here isn’t to come up with something “realistic”, it’s to put a few thoughts other than BAD BAD SCARY SCARY SCARY into your brain for once

it means something - i really struggle with the concept of meaninglessness. it helps to remind myself that if my life is meaningful even to myself, in a purely constructed meaning, that’s enough. there doesn’t have to be some grand plan for us all for it to be worth it. it’s enough to just enjoy this 1 in several trillion chance you’ve got at being Alive

we live in a society - i have wished multiple times that humanity was a hivemind for several reasons, but this unfortunately not being the case doesn’t erase the fact that we are a collective group of animals that share a lot of feelings. there are other people just as scared as you. it sounds like total bullshit, but you genuinely are not alone in this. find community in your misery

part 2: practicality (aka for when the brain doesn’t want to listen to you)

skydive - probably not the best choice if your fear is of dying, at least not without a lot of preparing and exposure therapy, but in my totally unprofessional opinion it is scientifically impossible to be afraid of a nebulous concept when flying through the air like a bird in a weird outfit. next question. (in all seriousness, you need to move your body so you don’t forget you exist right now. get up and stretch. take a breath. do a little dance in the rain)

go to sleep - if you’re experiencing this at 2am there is your problem. try your best to get some shut-eye because i guarantee it won’t feel as bad in the morning. I’ve had a meltdown at 3am only to forget how to be scared of something by sunrise too many times

buddy system - sometimes you just need to cry and have someone tell you it’s okay, even if you don’t believe them. for me it’s my mom, for you it could be anyone you trust. often it helps to find someone whose been where you are and has come out on the other side okay

do every stupid thing that makes you feel alive - if you have crippling fomo about the future it can really help to do something you’ve always wanted to. it’s one less thing left to fit into your life, which has about a billion other opportunities out there if you ever run out of ideas

distract yourself - okay, like…ignoring anxiety isn’t good! i get it! but when something has been addressed over and over and keeps standing in your doorway like a sleep paralysis demon of anxious thoughts it has lost its right to an audience. whatever occupies your brain is good. books, crosswords, your favourite show, etc. don’t fuel the thoughts by engaging with them if that doesn’t help you. if im getting overwhelmed, sometimes the best thing i can do for myself is put the problem in a file in my brain for later and go play skyrim (lmao)

that’s all for now but if anyone has anything to add please feel free! this list is incomplete

there are a finite number of sunrises to be seen for everyone, but there are so many. there are enough

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