midstridemoxie

[midstridemoxie]

#grief #grieving #dealing with grief #i miss my husband #mourning

[midstridemoxie]

Wow...this is hitting me hard. Having only lost my husband less than a month ago, this resonates. We were together over 15 years. I'm in no hurry to move out of this 'neighborhood'. I love him. He's everywhere I look in our home. I still want to talk to him every day. The best relationship of my life is the one I shared with the man I married, and now he's gone. Don't ever tell me how long I can mourn him....I'll grieve him for my lifetime because I committed that to him when I married him.

Sanna Wani, “Who is the Sun, Asking for Sleep?”, My Grief, the Sun // Brenna Twohy, A Coworker Asks Me If I Am Sad, Still

[midstridemoxie]

For the past year and a half, Sean slept with the lights and the TV on. His being a quadriplegic made stillness and quiet uncomfortable. Even with me there, he preferred the distraction.

Since he's been gone, I've only been able to sleep the same way. Last night, I turned off the TV and the lights, but sleep still eluded me. Seems I've grown accustomed to checking on him during the night, waking and chatting, giving him a snack, or just rolling over to tell him I love him.

Every day I find more things I miss about him...💔

#grief #imissmyhusband

[midstridemoxie]

The lucky po-ta-to. No self-respecting LoTR fan could ignore this. #luckypotato #luck #lotr

Not taking a chance for bad news.

[midstridemoxie]

Love my furbabies! #MoxieandRingo

[midstridemoxie]

My Own Moxie! turned 10 today!

#tumblr birthday #tumblr milestone

[midstridemoxie]

Bright, Happy, Prosperous Ostara Blessings to all!! Happy Spring Equinox!!! Plant the seeds now for what you wish to grow! A new job? Relationship? A new interest or hobby? Education? Health? Wealth? How about a more positive outlook? A growth mindset? Whatever you want to manifest, set your intention today, then nourish and 'water' that seed and see how you grow in joy, strength and abundance! #Ostara #eostre #springequinox #happyspring #planttheseeds #growthmindset (at Oceanside, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CqBL0PDpMBK/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#ostara #eostre #springequinox #happyspring #planttheseeds #growthmindset

[midstridemoxie]

Update: I could not delay anymore-I had to leave the apartment to do laundry this morning. I was able to stop off at @dutchbroscoffee to sample their sugar-free dark chocolate! (Thank goodness, finally a tasty option for the diabetics!!) I'm filled with anxiety, having to leave Sean home alone for even a couple of hours. I prepped him, and he's fine, but there isn't a moment of the day I dont worry about him. This transition has not been easy for us. I still don't have enough help, money, time, sleep, etc. We're doing the best we can. I love that man so much. My morning ritual consists of getting up every day and counting my blessings. ALL of them. Every challenge and every moment when he smiles and laughs with me are blessings. I know his worry is that I'm going to get sick of taking care of him and want a divorce. Not. Gonna. Happen. "In sickness and in health..." That was the vow I made. Yes, some days are harder than others. But, as I remind my darling husband all the time, I'd rather go through any misery with him than without him. And now, back to the dryers... #update #laundryandcoffee #sundaycoffee #odaat #change #disability #struggles #challenges #countingmyblessings #insicknessandinhealth #ilovemyhusband (at Oceanside, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp-eNZar0x2/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#update #laundryandcoffee #sundaycoffee #odaat #change #disability #struggles #challenges #countingmyblessings #insicknessandinhealth #ilovemyhusband

[midstridemoxie]

I haven't had an altar space up since the end of January when I was preparing to move. Since then, while still unpacking, taking care of my fully disabled husband and 2 cats AND working a full-time job...I've had neither the time nor energy to get it set up. Today, I finally rectified that. It's not fancy, rigidly orthodox, or even pretty, according to some perspectives. What this altar space does is give me a place to center, let go, and lean into the love, energies, and magick of my Spirit Squad. I walk by it and feel the presence of my family and guides. I make offerings and light my (almost) daily candles to my current pantheon: LA Santa Muerte, Lord Ganesha, and Yemaya. Each has given me strength and inspiration during the bright and darker days. This may change as They choose their time in working with me, but the altar is always a loving and respectful place, no matter who is in my daily Squad. My life is still crazy stressful. However, when the altar is fired up, I feel peace in my home and my heart. I'm grounded and centered, where previously I've felt untethered and off-balance. I just wanted to share the moment. I know some witchy folks take issue with showing your altar space. My response: this is not for you. I walk my path, my way. I share for love, connection, and support of others who feel they walk a different road. I don't profit from this, except to know I'm living true to myself. My Spirit Squad has no issue with me showing my altar, and believe me, I'd know if they did! This is my safe space. It is small, but so is my home. It is my spiritual well and center. It makes me feel good, renewed, recharged, and happy. I hope you have a spot that serves you this well. #altar #homealtar #witch #witchcraft #lasantisimamuerte #santamuerte #lordganesha #ganesha #yemaya #iemanja #witchylife #spiritual #meditation #offerings #candles #altarcandles #candlemagick #mymagickismyown #mypathmyway (at Oceanside, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CpamY6KJq7n/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#altar #homealtar #witch #witchcraft #lasantisimamuerte #santamuerte #lordganesha #ganesha #yemaya #iemanja #witchylife #spiritual #meditation #offerings #candles #altarcandles #candlemagick #mymagickismyown #mypathmyway

[midstridemoxie]

Sean came home last night. Ringo was pleased and made sure he cuddled up with his Cat Dad. We have a long road ahead of us. Sean needs a lot of care. But, we're together, and he's home with his family. Now, we work on getting him stronger, a little bit, every day. Working on my self care, too. Together we can get better. #lovemyhusband #lovemycats #familytime #wheelchair #disabled #disabilityawareness #newwayofliving #stayingpositive #stayingstrong #onedayatatime #getbettereveryday (at Oceanside, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CpOr1WnLkHo/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#lovemyhusband #lovemycats #familytime #wheelchair #disabled #disabilityawareness #newwayofliving #stayingpositive #stayingstrong #onedayatatime #getbettereveryday

[midstridemoxie]

Here's my goofy man! He's still in the hospital but a bit improved. Thanks to all for your kind thoughts and support for me and my darling Hubby. Fingers crossed that I can still bring him back home this weekend!! (at Tri-City Medical Center) https://www.instagram.com/p/CpEUvaNL6Me/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[midstridemoxie]

These precious furbabies...❤❤❤ Sean went to the hospital last night in respiratory distress, just days before we were hoping to bring him home. This morning, Ringo and Moxie were sticking close to me, sensing my stress. My adorable, loving clowns...they keep me steady and sane. I'm ready to face another day. #furbabies #moxieandringo #esa #emotionalsupportanimals #cats #catlover #catsofinstagram #stressrelief #stress #mentalhealthawareness (at Oceanside, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CpDEaeIr1OA/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#furbabies #moxieandringo #esa #emotionalsupportanimals #cats #catlover #catsofinstagram #stressrelief #stress #mentalhealthawareness

[midstridemoxie]

My precious furbabies... Boxes are not for unpacking, but for reaching new heights... well, for Ringo, anyway. Moxie has little interest in high places and would rather sit in the crook of my arm while I hold her paws. They keep me sane and happy. I love them so much... #moxieandringo #furbabies #catlover #cats #esa (at Oceanside, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Co3G0f3PJeI/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#moxieandringo #furbabies #catlover #cats #esa

[midstridemoxie]

Working lunch with my boss... 63 degrees and sunny. So happy right now! (at San Clemente, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CovG_-US-Zx/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[midstridemoxie]

I feel THIS... #grace #gratitude #grit #resilience #innerstrength #attitudeofgratitude #keepgoing #onedayatatime (at Oceanside, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CosixBPSNrA/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#grace #gratitude #grit #resilience #innerstrength #attitudeofgratitude #keepgoing #onedayatatime

[midstridemoxie]

Absolutely gutted right now. I was out of work and had no insurance (no meds) for approximately 4 months. I stuck with my low/no carb the entire time, though my activity level was greatly reduced. Finally got work/insurance and went back to my doctor. Got my lab results back yesterday. My A1c went from 6.2 to 8.1. WTF? I'm so upset by this, but I'm also seeing where there were carbs (addiction to sugarfree gum) that contributed to this. I'm so pissed off!! At least my doctor is working with me on different meds; no Metformin or insulin. I'm trying to find the motivation to move ahead in a positive manner. But right now I'm angry and depressed. #diabetessucks #a1c #reversediabetes #diabetic #notgivingup (at Oceanside, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CofHEtSL54e/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#diabetessucks #a1c #reversediabetes #diabetic #notgivingup

[midstridemoxie]

The ocean gives me peace. Just a moment...looking at sunset on the Strand. I can breathe easier.... #oceanside #thestrand #oceanbeach #coastalliving #thebeachismyhappyplace (at Oceanside, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CoGhGYvLozS/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#oceanside #thestrand #oceanbeach #coastalliving #thebeachismyhappyplace