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Vivianne Miedema - Helden Magazine

Vivianne Miedema (25) is the all-time top scorer of the Dutch national team and the English league. The Arsenal attacker has not only grown into a global star in recent years, but has also undergone major development on a personal level. We visited her in London and presented her with eight quotes ahead of the European Championship (6-31 July) in England.

"Football isn't always fun. There are definitely moments when I think: what am I doing all this for?'

Vivianne Miedema in Heroes in 2021

Laughing: “I would say: football is fun when the sun is shining, but then I'm lying, because I like rain on the pitch. Football takes up all my time. Sometimes I miss the opportunity and freedom to do other things. This year, for the first time, we have had a different Champions League format with a group stage. We've had many double weeks of play, had matches on Wednesday and Sunday, been on the road non-stop. After the Olympic Games in Tokyo, we hardly had a holiday. I felt that in my body, but also mentally. We are hardly at home, always on the go. Although I am lived, I do not see it as work. We can be happy that we get paid and can only focus on football. This is what I chose, what I've always wanted. Yet I often have the feeling that I mainly play football for others. I am not only there to make myself happy, I am also an example for the new generation. I want to inspire young girls. I feel that responsibility when I'm on the field. I also play football for my teammates and for my family and friends.

I love being on the field with other girls and being part of a team. That's what I enjoy most, not so much winning prizes. Can I enjoy it too? I find that more difficult. I don't dwell on victories. I'm pretty level-headed, find it hard to enjoy anything or be proud of myself anyway. I don't wait for compliments either, it makes me uncomfortable. The realization what we have achieved with the Orange Women is starting to come more and more, but I don't regularly think about that either. That will come after my career when my life calms down a bit.

When there is time for relaxation, I meet with teammates or go for a walk. That gives me peace. And I like to read. I'm actually really an old woman." Laughing: “Everyone always says I'm so boring. Yes, I know that too. I like walking and reading, not very fancy.”

"I am now one of the most famous strikers in the world in women's football, so I also think I should stand up for what is happening in women's football. We are still so behind in men's football. We must fight for equality.”

Vivianne in Heroes in 2020

“If as a player I can make a difference for the next generation, then I have to do it. That's why I speak up, I give my opinion. During the European Championship 2017, we put women's football on the map in the Netherlands. I have become one of the role models, I am proud of that. And I'm only 25, we can go on for a while.

The biggest problem with women's football is that senior men are mostly in senior positions within FIFA and UEFA, but also in the past within the KNVB. They say they want change, but they don't know how to get started. However, that change is coming slowly. The prize pool of women's tournaments at UEFA and FIFA increases every year, as does the prize pool of our FA Cup. I will never say that we should be paid the same as the men, that is not realistic.

I do think that women's football should be supported in such a way that more people can come to the stadium so that more money flows in. With Arsenal we played the last home game of the competition at the Emirates Stadium. There were 13,000 spectators, that should be 30,000. That is also possible. A good example is the classic in Spain, Barcelona-Real Madrid, at Camp Nou in March. The spectator record in women's football was broken, with 90,000 people in the stadium. And the following week, during the semi-finals of the Champions League between Barcelona and Wolfsburg, again.

Great strides have also been made in the professionalisation of women's football in England. More is being invested. Sky Sports has bought the rights to our league, they now stream our matches. Not only is there a lot of money coming in, it is now also providing us with a lot more visibility.

Great strides can still be made in our own country. The Eredivisie is a training competition. No one goes to the Netherlands in his prime to play football. When I hear how things are going at certain Eredivisie clubs, there is still a step to be taken. The fact that there are still girls in the Netherlands who have to add money to be able to play football professionally means that we are a long way from being there. But that also applies to England, you know. The union only introduced a pregnancy law last year. Previously, clubs no longer had to pay pregnant players after three months. Outrageous, isn't it?

Much has also changed between men and women. When I joined Arsenal five years ago, we weren't allowed to be in the gym at the same time as the men's team. We received reactions from the men such as: who are these, what are these women doing? Now they are much more open to us. The younger generation accepts us completely. The men follow us, we have normal contact with each other. Although they can learn just as much from us as we can from them, in the gym we mostly have casual conversations that aren't about football. I can imagine that our coaches will spar with each other.”

"The friends I have outside of football are never going to fully understand what I'm going through. The same goes for my parents.”

Vivianne in Heroes in 2020

“The role that my football career plays in my parents' lives is huge. They watch every game and come to London when they can. My parents are much more aware of what is said and written about me. They have more trouble with negative attention than I do, but they also enjoy the positive attention more. I will probably only understand that when I have little ones myself and sit in the stands. They also regularly say that they are proud of me.

My parents live in a completely different world. The flexibility you have to have as a top football player is something special in itself, it's hard to explain, my parents don't always understand that. I prefer to stay at home for big tournaments, but my parents still expect me to go out to dinner, because they see me so little.

My parents also think very differently about football. I see the game, get it; that insight is one of my strengths. My parents are less so. When I talk to them about a game situation, I sometimes think: stop it. It also sometimes happens that I get sixty minutes of playing time instead of ninety, because we have already had two games that week. When I say I'm tired, they wonder how that's possible, like: the rest isn't tired either, are they?

I myself have changed. I used to say 'yes' to everything, now I don't anymore. I often make choices that others don't like at the time. I don't know if that's selfish or if it's a winning mentality. But the line between performing and not performing is very thin.

I used to find it difficult that I couldn't share with my parents what I was going through, now I don't have that anymore. Fortunately, I also have a very good relationship with my brother Lars. When I went from Heerenveen to Bayern Munich when I was seventeen, I missed him terribly. Now that we are both older, that feeling of missing is less, we often speak via Facetime. Lars and I understand each other, because he also played football at a fairly high level. First at FC Den Bosch, then in Spain. One look between us is enough. When I have to make a big decision, I always bring it up to him.

I used to be the better footballer of the two of us. Lars sometimes found that difficult. It would have made more sense if I was 'the sister of', but Lars is 'the brother of'. Wherever he goes, the first thing he hears is, "Your sister is Vivianne Miedema, isn't it?" It has also given Lars a certain pressure that he would rather not have had. In recent years he has had a lot of bad luck with injuries. He now plays for Genemuiden, is back in the Netherlands. Next season he will play for Ermelo in the second division. Lars wants to play football at a level where he can also enjoy it.

Of course I am also very grateful to my parents for what they have done for me. They made my career possible. My grandfather and grandmother also played a major role. They babysat Lars or take me to training. Football runs in our family. My grandfather was a good football player, but when he was 21 he got a spinal cord injury. His brothers were with Go Ahead Eagles. My father also played football, but got injured at a young age. And on my mother's side there is also talent, her cousin Martijn Gootjes played for Cambuur, among others.

Apart from my friends in football - that are a number of teammates at Arsenal, but also a number of girls with whom I played at Heerenveen and Bayern Munich - I don't have many friends. How do I explain that I'm never home and miss all the parties? I have two very good friends from high school. They have no knowledge of football and are nice and down to earth, which is wonderful.”

"I wish I could change the world, but I don't have that illusion." Vivianne in Helden in 2021

“At night I regularly dream of a better, and above all friendlier world. I think there is a lot of selfishness. When I see how people in London interact with each other, how work driven it all is, I think it could all be a little more relaxed and enjoyed a bit more.

I hardly get anything from the news in the Netherlands and I love that. I don't give a shit if there's a riot on a show like Today Inside. I try to keep up with important news. I read updates on the war in Ukraine every night on BBC News. I think it is so wrong what is happening there, I also fully supported that we did not play the World Cup qualifier against Belarus because of the war. But to say: I wouldn't play a World Cup in Qatar in advance because of the lack of gay rights, I don't know... After all, I'm also an athlete, I want to play at a World Cup, but I would definitely make a statement .

All I can do is stay true to myself and put energy into what I can change. I am an ambassador for War Child, I want boys and girls to grow up with the same opportunities, that's important to me.

Who do I think is a good leader? Not Donald Trump anyway, and certainly not Vladimir Putin. In England we have Boris Johnson as Prime Minister. I also think that once you are in such a position of power, it is very difficult to run a country and do the right things. I would like to think that in the 21st century we have leaders with a generous mind. Within Europe, I think Angela Merkel, the former Chancellor of Germany, is a good example. She was a decisive leader.”

"I have the idea that girls are open about mental problems among themselves. But bringing it out also goes a step further. Not that there is a taboo on it, but it does immediately leave a mark on you when you tell your story.'

Vivianne in Heroes in 2021

“There is progress, but it is not yet how it should be. If you indicate that you need help, a coach will always look at you in a certain way. Mental problems should not be associated with weakness. Nowadays it is a lot more normal to have a psychologist at a club and the Dutch national team, but I also don't think we dare to be completely honest yet. For years it has gone through ups and downs. Almost nine years ago I first entered the Dutch national team, I was just seventeen. At that moment I thought I could take on the whole world. Because women's football has taken off so much after the World Cup in Canada in 2015, but especially after the win of the European Championship in 2017, I didn't know who to trust anymore. At that moment I thought: I don't need anyone. But in my first year at Arsenal, after the European Championship, in 2018, I ran into a very high wall. I felt very bad, had to process what had happened all those years before. It's no secret that I wasn't happy at the 2015 World Cup in Canada. We were on the other side of the world, I felt lonely and found it hard to deal with that pressure. What do you want? I was compared to Lionel Messi. I had to get used to the spotlight in which I was placed. And also during the European Championship in 2017 in the Netherlands, a lot came at me. I didn't score in the group stage. This was widely covered in the media. But in the quarter- and semi-final I scored and I scored two goals in the final. I went from nobody to someone who was great. In addition, in those years prior to those tournaments, I had hardly had any holidays or time to think about anything. Physically I was tired, mentally I was empty. In my first year at Arsenal I wondered: why do I still play football, why do I want this? The 2019 World Cup in France was the first tournament in my career where I went relaxed, I felt good, I was looking forward to it. We made it to the final. There was something about that for me...

I was always the first to walk away from sessions with a psychologist at the Dutch national team. Always said: I don't believe in this. In fact, when I heard the word 'psychologist', I thought: I'll stay away from you. When I arrived at Arsenal, a new psychologist had just started with whom I also didn't click. After six months a new woman came, I had a good feeling about that. That was a first step. Still, it took me a year to admit: I think I might need you after all...

Thanks to that psychologist I was able to process things from my life, both football and private related. I used to shut myself off from feelings, I didn't have time for them, wanted to keep going. That came out in different ways. At the 2015 World Cup in Canada, I was under a lot of stress and suffered from migraines. In those few weeks I lost six kilos. After the European Championship in 2017, I suffered from panic attacks. On the football field, when I was at home, wherever. If it was a severe attack, I had trouble breathing. After a panic attack, I couldn't do anything for three days, then I lay flat on the couch, and I had to regularly skip football practice. But most of the time it happened just when we had some time off. Even if I had the feeling that my body was no longer cooperating or was very tired, I could panic.

It's good that I bumped into that wall and started talking about my feelings. It's not that I'll never have panic attacks or feel anxious again. I still feel bad when I have to get on the tube to central London. Underground, really hot, way too many people... I really think: what am I doing here? But what do you want, I come from Hoogeveen. I had never been on a bus before, now I have to go underground...

When I also have a hard time, it is when suddenly the whole planning is thrown upside down. We get our schedule on Monday. If that suddenly changes on Thursday, then I think it's terrible and I have to calm myself down. In the meantime I have learned to deal better with these types of panic attacks. It will never go away completely, but if I have an attack now, I can function for the rest of the day.

Last month I had my last session with the psychologist. If there is one thing I should be proud of in my life, it is the journey that I have embarked on with her. For the first time in my career I was able to be more myself at Arsenal this year. My teammates didn’t know what had hit them. They get to know me better, because I'm open. I am understood. They see: Viv is not as gruff and closed as she seems. And that's up to me, you know, that they're only seeing that now. I have never opened up to others. When I'm on the football field, I'm tough, I can be a bitch. Off the pitch I'm one of the biggest softies out there, I cry regularly, I'm an emotional person and I'm not ashamed of that.

I am now open about it and try to be the same with the younger girls in the Dutch national team. I know better than anyone what it's like to break through and deal with pressure. I can help them with that. I regularly check with them to see how things are going and they know that I am there for them. This journey with my psychologist has been more important to me than any price.”

You know how it goes in the Netherlands: everyone expects you to win for a while. That will be no different during the European Championships.”

Vivianne in the AD in 2022

Laughing: “That's right. Before the European Championship in 2017, I did not expect that we would take the title. I don't expect that now. There are countries that are better than us. We have a number of girls who have just recovered from injuries, important players such as Lieke Martens and Daniëlle van de Donk have barely been able to play this season. If everyone is top notch, we can surprise.

After the Olympic Games and the departure of national coach Sarina Wiegman to the English federation, we started a new trajectory with Mark Parsons. The biggest change is that we said goodbye to players. The dynamics are different. I'm currently in 'Team Oud', that says it all. Mark also has a slightly different view of football than we are used to. You notice that he comes from a different football culture. That is in tactical things like wanting to put more pressure. For some girls that takes getting used to. In person, he is the opposite of Sarina. With Mark, people are central, the group process. That's good, because we have a lot of young girls on the squad that we need to bond with. With Sarina you knew better what was expected, she was clear. Mark still needs time to make certain choices and that uncertainty is difficult for some girls. My role within the Dutch national team has not changed. I have always been one of the leaders, both on and off the field. The group of leaders has shrunk slightly. Sari van Veenendaal, Sherida Spitse, Daniëlle van de Donk and I, but also Merel van Dongen and Stefanie van der Gragt play a major role in the team. I still have contact with Sarina and also with her assistant Arjan Veurink, I see them at the matches. "As long as you don't win the European Championship in England with England," I sometimes joke. We shouldn't want that, that happy stuff here in England."

“The years to come should officially be my peak years. I have to spend that at a club that best suits my ambitions.”

Vivianne in the AD in 2022

“They say your top is around 27. I'm only 25, but I've been around for a while. I've had five great years at Arsenal and I recently extended my contract. I feel that winning titles with Arsenal will mean a lot more to me than winning them with any other club right now.

I hope you haven't seen the best Vivianne yet. There's more in the barrel, you know. At the Dutch national team I really play in the striker, but at Arsenal I play just a little behind, at '10'. I like to play as an attacking midfielder, I can touch the ball more and have more influence on the game. Well, I can play anywhere, in that respect it doesn't really matter where I stand.

What I think is more important is that for the first time I also feel a lot better off the field. For me football is not just about scoring goals. It would be great if I could be top both on and off the field in the coming years.”

“There are not many top coaches in women's football. Yes, maybe I want to be one later.”

Vivianne in Heroes in 2021

“I am now working on the last project of my master's degree in Business. And I have almost completed my UEFA B diploma. I would like to stay involved in football and become a coach after my career, but if I want to bring about big changes in women's football, I will have to look higher up, in a managerial position. After my career I first want to step out of football for a while to find peace. After that, I want to find my way on the manager/board side, in a role at the KNVB, UEFA or FIFA.” Laughing: “I don't participate in political games, they already know that about me. What you see is what you get. Once I'm in such a role, I have to stand up for what I believe in and I'm not going to play games with it. Then it quickly becomes black or white for me.”

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