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The radishes glisten

Tasteful bulge? Yeah I would like a taste f- [I am interrupted by the sound of a dry twig snapping. This is impossible, as I am in the infinite linoleum bathroom dimension for this joke.]

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Okay, but what if fantasy world with healing magic that works by using your own perceptual template of your body to restore damaged sections, and a hero discovering they're trans because they're the party tank and have to get healed a bunch

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“Trust yourself. You’ve survived a lot. And you’ll survive whatever is coming.”

— Unknown

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Adam Smith in 1776: "There's an obscene amount of waste that goes into the accreditation system for labor. Yeah a clock inventor needs to be a genius, but a clock-maker can learn everything he needs to know in a month tops. Making him serve a 7-year apprenticeship is absurd."

2024 entry-level stem position: Your job duties will be data entry, sample conciliation, and glassware cleaning. Read sample labels and enter appropriate data into this database with a UI that only runs on Windows 94. You will not be permitted to manipulate samples or testing procedures beyond what is necessary for rote data entry. 9th-grade reading comprehension preferred but not required. Pay is $11.50 per hour, non-negotiable. Shifts are in 12-hour increments, non-negotiable. REQUIRED: Bachelors of Science in chemistry or related field, Masters preferred, 3 years lab experience or 2 years lab instruction+2 years field work.

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Miracled bread doesn’t taste nearly as good as making it the old fashioned way ✨

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piss screen of death

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The worst thing I've ever written is my final assignment for a screenwriting class. The professor successfully pushed me into writing the blandest mess of a "thriller" you could imagine. It was garbage, and when he called me to give feedback on it, his only point was. His only point was. His only point was asking me why I made a character Chinese, if I didn't have her do "kung fu" or use "herbal medicine". I pointed out she was a spy, and spies in our modern post-post-Cold War era basically have to be Chinese or Russian or American, and I'm pretty sure Chinese spies use guns instead of channeling the mystical kinetic energies of the chi, but he demanded I "use" the fact she was Chinese. Though someone staring at the hottest garbage ever written and only going "but why isn't this character white?" does seem like a realistic simulacrum of the film industry experience

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brutalist candy cane

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jason: ur just a pretender and a fraud

tim: idc that you died kys again

jason: …

jason: this kid’s a riot

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i don't know if its physically possible to ignore the dog

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On the contrary, they are honorary doggos

love it when a nondog baby animal is called a pup anyway

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Norman Lindsay with his wife and muse Rose Soady, 1909