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Counting
I’m not good at math
Actually I’m better than average
I don’t think I’m very good though
That’s why I can’t add right
Maybe I’m not good at reading
I see numbers but can’t understand
Or maybe it’s the science of it all
I was never good at that either
Any of these might be the reason
Why I have to keep counting
And counting
Until the scale shows a better number
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There’s red under my nails
I should stop
It’s just so easy
Even when it hurts
There’s red on my lip
A permanent sight
It’s a common habit
No one mentions it
There’s red on my pillow
It wakes me
I have to rush
The mess scares me
There’s red in her painting
It distracts me
She tries to ask
I tell her no
There’s red everywhere
But I’ve never
At least on purpose
Caused the colorful pain
I don’t self harm
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I listened to him ramble
Knowing he has no clue
I'm thinking of a gamble
Betting between us two
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disassociate with me
I'll lay blank
Full of nothing
An eternity in seconds
Hours blinked by
I'll focus again
Exhausted of myself
Wasted on time
Finally awake
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Me posting on tumblr:
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Years of being called lazy because of my depression and it's like I'm still struggling to fit that narrative, even though I actually get more depressed and spiral whenever I don't work or have deadlines. I'll spend my day off in bed feeling like crap for not being productive and then work 6/7 days straight pulling overtime, but I'm still just too lazy. Any time I'm unemployed or off work for longer than a day, I spiral so fast into unhealthy coping mechanisms and unstable mood swings.
One day I'll accept that it's not laziness that makes me unable to get out of bed and that I don't have to be productive every day to exist in this world. Until then... I have to clean everything tomorrow or I'll spend it too drunk to see straight. Who knows, maybe I'll go into work again on my day off, just to have something else to do.
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I ask for more because it's gonna be gone by the time drinks arrive no doubt
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i am begging y’all to just stay home and leave us the FUCK alone
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Mood
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yeah lol the exact same moment, i literally can use that namjoon pic as a meme
here u go~
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YA DONT PUT TWO BAD BITCHES AGAINST EACH OTHER
IN THIS HOUSE WE RESPECT EACH OTHER
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it really is friday night when you think about it
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My cousin called me it as a joke (unrelated to gender) and I told him "ok you can call me it idc close enough" (because I'm non-binary)
On the topic of it/its pronouns
It/its pronouns aren’t inherently dehumanizing. It can be dehumanizing when purposely used to objectify or insult trans people, or even just people in general.
It can be dehumanizing when used as a slur. It can be dehumanizing when used to dismiss our identities, but it is not dehumanizing when we make a personal choice to take it/its pronouns and make it our own, whether it’s because we are embracing our difference in experience and separation from the concept of humanity, or because we are redefining what it means to be human, or something else entirely.
What is dehumanizing, however, is refusing to use our preferred pronouns. So even if you don’t understand why we use the pronouns we use: it/its or any other pronouns that may be, please do understand that referencing us with the incorrect pronouns will get you corrected, and if you really can’t stand to use the pronouns we prefer, instead of blatantly going against and disrespecting both our wishes and us as people, please just use our chosen name instead, (or don’t refer to us at all).
I understand that initially, it can be especially startling to discover what our pronouns are, but don’t be an asshole. You’re allowed to be uncomfortable; you’re allowed to not understand or be confused, and you’re allowed to disagree, but if you find that your lack of understanding carries you into being derogatory or acting bigoted, don’t be surprised when you receive backlash.
If you have questions, don’t be afraid to ask them; many of us will gladly answer, and if we aren’t comfortable with answering, it is possible to be confused and respectful at the same time.
Please and thank you
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Women be treating themselves to Special Coffee Drinks to motivate themselves to accomplish tedious errands
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