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miss-pretender ยท 1 month
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I'm going to try posting more on here I suppose,
It used to help
God,
I feel so empty without an obsession
It's almost been enough time,
Almost...
If I don't keep one, I get one yearly
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miss-pretender ยท 1 month
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Think it's time I change the aesthetic but I'm not sure who to yet, hmm ...
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miss-pretender ยท 1 month
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miss-pretender ยท 1 month
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๐Ÿ”ช๐Ÿงธ๐Ÿ”ช๐Ÿงธ
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miss-pretender ยท 1 month
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miss-pretender ยท 1 month
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Yandere Meruko-chan likes her senpai
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miss-pretender ยท 1 month
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miss-pretender ยท 1 month
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miss-pretender ยท 1 month
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miss-pretender ยท 2 months
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Fuck it's so hard to date people who aren't your FP
Especially when you're in a more antisocial/solitary mood
Especially if they have a puppy like personality
I knew all these things, that's why I wasn't exactly intending to
Even if I love them they don't have the right exceptions
FP status is really like
VIP access lmfao
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miss-pretender ยท 3 months
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I love having a panic attack in public
And the cause of it acting like she doesn't understand why im so unhappy and upset
Because "she said nothing wrong"
Im sorry that scolding you for forgetting you can't smoke around me hurts your feelings, but at the same time i have to do it
I wouldn't treat you like a child if you'd remember and respect one of the few things i ask of you
It's not yelling at you
And just because you're frustrated doesn't mean you gotta get aggro and dump everything's on me
Im stressed out too
I dont do that to *you*
Yeah, we're different people, but idk why it's so hard to do what I'm asking, it's not anything impossible
It's not like every time we hang out alone I'm miserable,
Why am i not when others are with us?
Well, it's a different environment all together
It's not like I try to avoid 1v1 time with you but you can tend to ruin it,
Or i ruin it because something you did or said triggered me
We Can go past it, if you'd just learn to let me vibe in silence and get my emotions under control
Your commentary and words only irritate the wound
Like rubbing salt in
But i guess it's a weird mix of salt and sugar
I love you,
I don't want to hate you
I don't hate you, anymore
But I can't help the fact I get hurt so easy from you
It's our history, our relationship
Can you really not see it, or are you choosing to pretend you're blind?
I hate feeling the hot tears in my eyes when the rest of me feels so cold
Whenever you talk or prompt a response it's like sparking a match with gasoline
It feels raw, it hurts, it aches,
And as much as I try to douse it with water, you don't give me enough time to drown it
And then,
I have to not let up or you'll manage to say something later that threatens to light a fire again
When did we become so incompatible?
Maybe I let myself love you too much
I dont rely on you, but i didn't keep the emotional distance, did I?
That's my fault
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miss-pretender ยท 3 months
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Merry Christmas ~
hmm, this holiday was stressful, eventful
it wasn't all bad, it wasn't all good
now I sit here, listening to others cold regrets to melt like snowflakes as I ponder my own
Well... not regrets specifically, all kinds of things.
How many depend on me, I hold them in my hands,
I'm given the power, and if I were to disappear, they'd topple down, like a house of cards.
I'll never understand it.
Why I'm regarded as a gift, praised and doted on
I can't understand it, even when I'm on my high,
What fathomable reason is there? There's some critical piece I'm missing
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miss-pretender ยท 6 months
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I'm going to try to post here more again
a lot has certainly been going on
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miss-pretender ยท 7 months
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Seriously, fuck you
it's always about your wants
You don't even appreciate what I do for you
Well fucking fine,
I'll just forget you exist until further notice
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miss-pretender ยท 8 months
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I don't like being in the spotlight
I don't deserve it
Too many people know me
Too many acknowledge me
It's suspicious.
it makes me anxious
it's for a reason.
.
Everything is for a reason
What's the reason?
Why, i dont want it
I don't want it
It's okay to be sociable, I've gotten used to it...
Sometimes I want to leave
Too many people know me, somethings going to happen
Im in danger.
I'm gonna fuck up
Im gonna step out of line
I'm going to disappoint them
im not perfect anymore
I cant do everything you expect of me
i was never perfect, but i was close enough
it can't be that way anymore...
why don't you understand?
Why do you treat me like I used to be?
Why is it always someone else's fault?
Why is it my fault?
Why is it so hard to accept my requests?
Why does everyone feel like they're out to get me sometimes...
i can't trust them, they dont know me.
they dont know me.
Why do they want to know me anyways?
They want to hurt me
No...
I'm safe
im
nit safe
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miss-pretender ยท 8 months
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Whatever, I'm not talking to you anymore today
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miss-pretender ยท 8 months
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So fucking careless.
careless.
careless.
And then you wave off my comment because you're not taking it seriously.
Why the fuck would I listen to you then?
They're awake other times than at an ungodly hour, it's excuses, make time at a better hour then.
Always fucking excuses.
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