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mitchloveswriting · 2 years

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fuck you im in love

I wanna know how Noah felt when they are in their break up phase :(

oh, god. heartbroken.

let's work through it, shall we?

I mean, at first, he was just stuck somewhere between denial and misery. he convinced himself what he had done was right, but he felt like shit. he was going through severe 'sunshine' withdrawals. he didn't even leave his room for the entirety of the first two days after the breakup. stiles would deliver meals, even though it was service with a scowl. they didn't speak for a week, even when noah dared to leave his bedroom and wander the rest of the flat. just when he and stiles had finally sorted their shit and cleared the air, another problem.

at the end of that first week, or more precisely, seven days and eight hours later, halfway into the night, they finally explode. sitting at opposite ends of the couch and watching a movie in absolutely intolerable silence, stiles couldn't take it anymore. it was actually the second longest time stiles had ever given him the silent treatment (the first being eight days and four hours, when they were fourteen, and they fought over whether or not their mom's old jeep should be repaired and driven around. stiles said yes, noah said no, and that's how stiles came to own the jeep).

they exploded, shouting, yelling, and eventually crying. stiles was mad about losing his friend, everything was still tense and raw, and when their neighbours came to knock on the door and yell at them for being so loud at three am, they were met with two identical, tear-stained and angry faces at the door, and the neighbour quickly left. what didn't leave, though, was the trace of her. jumpers, her handwriting in notes, a few texts from their dad because stiles refused to break the news and noah couldn't make himself do it. coffee orders, restaurants, places around campus, the daisies that grow in pots outside of the building, picnic blankets, ordering lasagne when they have takeout, half of noah's playlists, minecraft, everything.

she was everywhere. constantly.

and that's what leads noah to temporary insanity. because he packs all your stuff up in a box, and gives it to stiles to give back, but there's so much stuff he just can't escape. like the fact that he can't sleep, and when he does, he dreams of you, and no matter how many of his clothes and his bedding he washes, he still can't seem to lose the smell of your perfume entirely. it's everywhere, and even after scrubbing the entire apartment top-to-bottom in a way that made stiles actually pry the mop from his hand, he swears he still can smell you.

this leads to anger.

anger at himself, anger at her, anger at everyone, anger at the world.

he just thinks it's easier to be angry than it is to be sad, because sadness is eating him up. the what-ifs of it all, the ways it could have played out, every single word of that argument now being burned into his memory like the lyrics of his favourite songs, and the look of tears in your eyes that he put there playing behind his eyelids when he shuts his eyes. it's eating him alive, so he gets angry instead.

it's a lot easier.

except, he can't go and let off steam at the rage rooms, and his motorbike feels too light with just him on it, half his playlists are tainted, and even going to fix things in the garage feels lonely now. his place of solitude now just feels empty. which makes him more mad. like a trap, he managed to weave her into every aspect of his life, and it only came back to bite him in the ass.

once again, nothing but anger.

so he decides to immortalise this feeling, to make sure he never feels it again. he immortalises it in the way he immortalises everything, with ink. he thinks about it for a week or so, and decides it's perfect, it'll fix everything. so when he can't sleep at night, he designs a tattoo. something to eclipse that all-consuming feeling of warmth and joy and brightness because the sun always has to set, and then there's darkness. it's all temporary.

so there he is, sitting to get his tattoo, and something in the back of his mind, something dark and sad, the part of him that is always hissing about his insecurities and making him feel less, speaks up. the part of him that scared him to come back, because for so long it had been quiet, she had quietened it, when it whispered "finally, she'll be gone for good", he panicked.

no, he wasn't just panicked, he was fucking terrified. because suddenly, it felt like his safety blanket being ripped away. like being thrown out into the cold, like a stray dog finding scraps only for the scraps to be snatched back, for the- well, you get it. it felt wrong, like everything you'd been through was gone, like every dot of ink was erasing another memory, every prick of the needle was one glimpse of a smile being taken away, one kiss taken back, one inside joke or whispered conversation, or gentle brush of hands being wiped clean. like someone was taking her away.

and he realised, he would rather be miserable and cling onto what he had of her than ever be without her at all. because the sun always came back up, there were dark spots, and the night came, but the morning always followed, darkness was not forever.

darkness was not forever.

that was the only thought that got him through, as he had a panic attack right there, mid-tattoo. two hours later, one tattoo artist who was terrified they were about to get sued, and a total overhaul on the design, and it wasn't shunning her, but immortalising the brightness she'd brought. a pretty tribute, that the pain was always worth bearing, because the sun always rose again.

even if everything felt pretty damn dark right now, it would be light again.

it was quite literally on his way home, walking across campus and rubbing at the flesh around the sore new tattoo spot, that he gets invited to the party.

a little shock, a little secret joy, and a lot of guilt-ridden validation, because the dude said "hey, noah! been looking for you, man, I sent you, like, eight texts. you've been MIA, dude. we should catch up, but I'm having a party, you gotta be there. bring your brother, too. later, man." and he was wanted. he wasn't stiles' brother, he wasn't just an extension of his sunshine, it was him. his friends had been reaching out to him, his unopened texts and red-filled call log said that, and it was like a wake-up call.

he didn't really plan to go, though, until stiles said "you know, she's likely to be there... I'll convince her friends to bring her. plus, y'know, even if she doesn't show, there's gonna be a lot of free booze. drown your sorrows, for free. see your friends, they always make things at least a little better."

and just like that, he was going. he wore a shirt she gave him, and, spent a good hour freaking out about going at all, but stiles dragged him from the house, and then plied him with a lot of liquid courage.

and just like that, the darkness lifted, because exactly seventy-four minutes after he had arrived and started drinking, the sun rose again, and his sunshine walked in through the front door.

just like that, setting his sights on her, he realised everything would be alright. he'd do whatever it took to make sure of it.

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mitchloveswriting · 2 years

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season 3 everybody!!!

Upside Down Feelings 3

Chapter One: Suzie, Do You Copy?

summary: Robin and Steve cheer Y/N up after her little run in with Eddie

word count: 3070

“Jesus..” You grumbled, looking past Steve’s train wreck of an attempt to pick up a girl and seeing your ex walking around with yet another girl in Star Court.

“I know. It’s just embarrassing at this point,” Robin pursed her lips with second hand embarrassment, grabbing the tally board and preparing her insult. The girl at the counter looked at Steve with a look of disgust as he handed back her change. “Pathetic, really.”

“No, not that. Eddie’s back in the mall,” You rolled your eyes. Her eyes widened before they followed your gaze. She opened her mouth to say something before you heard Steve’s girl of the hour walk away in a fit of mocking giggles.

Steve sighed and let his head drop in disappointment as the girls walked away giggling.

“Hold that thought for just one second. Hit it, Y/N,” Robin held out the marker about an inch from your lips. You looked up at her with annoyance. Her eyebrows shot up expectedly before you reluctantly sang the bass line to Queen’s song. “And another one bites the dust! You are oh-for-six, Popeye.”

“Yeah, yeah, I can count,” Steve crossed his arms, not missing the way your eyes focused on someone behind him. He frowned, ignoring Robin’s next line to check out what- or who had you in such a trance.

“You know that means you suck!”

“Yeah, I can read, too.”

“Since when?”

“What’s her problem?” He asks Robin, not catching sight of anything out of the ordinary.

“The E-word walked in with girl number three of the week,” She whispered, scrunching her nose.

“Ah,” Steve said quietly.

“I’m literally standing right here,” You scoffed as your attention reverted back to your friends. “I have ears that work, you know. And you don’t have to call him The E-word. I’m over it.”

Steve and Robin gave each other a look before chuckling. “Yeah, alright.”

“What?! I am!” You held out your arms, not understanding why they thought anything else.

“Please,” Steve smirked, leaning his left hip against the counter and lowering his head to make sure he had your undivided attention. “You wanna know how many times I’ve heard you blasting Careless Whisper in the parking lot before you walked into your shift?”

“Steve!” Your cheeks flushed as you watched Robin perk up. She was not going to let that one slide.

“Four. And that’s this week alone.”

“Dude-“

“Careless Whisper?” Robin asked before erupting into uncontrollable laughter. “By Wham?!”

“First of all, it’s a good song-“

“No, it’s not!” They both chimed in.

“Second of all, it’s just George Michael singing. Not Wham-“

“SHE EVEN KNOWS THE DETAILS!” Robin crumbled into the counter below her. She tried to breathe to spew out a half hearted apology. “I’m sorry- I’m so sorry! But that’s so funny-“

“You should’ve seen her!” Steve added on. You couldn’t help but laugh along. To their credit, it was incredibly out of character for you to listen to the music that you’ve constantly criticized. Pop Trash was the term you coined for it. “She was all I should’ve know better than to cheat a friend!”

“Steve!” You laughed, reaching over to try to cover his mouth. “Shut up! People are looking!”

He only grabbed your wrists, before singing into them passionately while looking deeply into your eyes. It was the most comical scene you’ve laid eyes on in days; you couldn’t help but giggle.

“And waste a chance that I’ve been given,” He continued as his eyes furrowed upwards as he sang his heart out to the store. “So I’m never gonna dance again!”

“Cut it out!” Your eyes widened as you caught a glimpse of the couple walking towards the store. “SHH! I think they’re walking in!”

“The way I danced with youuu-MMH!” His eyes snapped open as you pulled your hand free and covered his mouth with it. “Mkay! M’ done!”

“Ahoy-“ You began to mutter before a much louder voice boomed over your own.

“Ahoy, mateys! Would you guys like to set sail on this ocean of flavor with me?” Steve shouted over you, making Eddie’s date jump before she giggled nervously. “I’ll be your captain, Steve Harrington! Can I get you guys a little taste of the Cherries Jubilee or, my personal favorite, the Jealous Ex-Boyfriend-“

He cleared his throat before continuing.

“Sorry, I meant the Jelly Explosion,” He corrected himself, making Robin snort from behind you. You rubbed your hand across your lips to keep from laughing as you turned on your heels to go to the back. “No? Anybody? Banana Boat? Strawberry Shortcake?”

“The Jelly Explosion pretty sounds good,” The girl looked up at Eddie who managed to squeeze out a tight lipped smile, not wanting to blow his cool demeanor in front of his date.

“Mhm,” He managed to get out.

“I mean, it’s a little sour,” Steve shrugged. “But if that’s what you’re into, I’ll have it out in a jiffy! That’d be three bucks.”

Eddie quickly paid for their ice cream before taking a seat in a nearby booth. Steve scooped a flavor into an ice cream boat and handed it to them before they got up and left to eat it anywhere else.

“I’ll erase a You Suck point for that. That was good!” Robin laughed before you both clapped. Steve took off his hat to take a bow, thanking you as if he’d just won a reward.

“Do we even have a flavor called Jelly Explosion?” You asked with a smile.

“Pft- No,” He replied. “Those motherfuckers got Jelly Bean.”

“ANOTHER POINT FOR GIVING THEM OUR WORST FLAVOR!” Robin shouted as she used her finger to erase another point.

“If only he could be that quick witted when it came to girls,” You pouted sarcastically as you grabbed your purse and keys.

“You see how she treats me?” His jaw dropped as he looked at your best friend. “Not even a thank you!”

“Thank you, Stevie. I owe you one,” You ruffled his hair with a grin. He grumbled something about his hairstyle as you waved goodbye. “I’m clocking out for the day. I have an early morning. Gonna go pick up Steve’s best friend from summer camp.”

“I thought we were having a movie night tonight,” Robin followed behind you. You shrugged. “Not up for it anymore?”

“Not after girl number three,” You smiled sadly, making her face fall. She nodded nonetheless, giving you a hug before you walked out of the store. “See you tomorrow?”

“Aye, aye, Captain,” She confirmed. You saluted with two fingers before making your exit. Steve walked out of the back just in time to wave goodbye. “I have a feeling we’re going to hear her play Careless Whisper for the rest of the summer… We need to get her a rebound.”

“A rebou- Wha- Hold on. Why does she need a rebound?” Steve stammered quickly. “She doesn’t need a rebound!“

“Maybe Billy Hargrove? What happened to Billy anyway?“

“Yeah, no. He’s an abusive and racist piece of shit,” Steve scoffed, leaning against the counter once again. “Look, she doesn’t need a rebound. What she needs is a pick-me-up. What do girls normally do to get over a guy?”

“Get under another,” She shrugged.

“Besides that!” Steve’s face scrunched up in disgust.

“I don’t know! I’ve never had to do that before!” Robin shouted. “According to the movies, ice cream, alcohol, and hanging out with friends.”

“Alcohol, huh?” Steve looked off in thought for a moment. “Now that I can get behind.”

———

“I don’t know, Mom,” You spoke as you finished drying the last dish, putting it back in the cabinet. “It’s not that I miss him romantically, you know? I just miss having him around. God, I wish I never would’ve dated him.. This sucks.”

“I’m sure he’ll come around, sweetie,” Your mother smiled as she placed another trash bag in the bin. “If he goes out of his way to visit you at the mall, I’m sure a simple explanation would go a long way. An a damn good apology.”

“That explanation would be anything but simple,” You muttered under your breath.

“What was that?”

“I doubt an explanation and apology would ever make him want to be my friend again,” You offered as you took a seat on the couch, allowing your cat to settle on your lap. You mindlessly stroked its fur as you continued to speak. “He was in love with me. And I broke his heart. You can’t just bounce back from something like that.. Especially after six months.”

“Who knows?” She shrugged. “He’s a very sweet boy. A forgiving one. If he really loved you, I think he could find it in his heart to forgive you. There are times in life where we find soulmates in platonic relationships. It's easy to get them confused with romantic ones. You aren’t the first to apologize for breaking a friend’s heart. And you wouldn’t be the first to be forgiven for it.”

“What if he wasn’t just platonic?” You asked, turning your body to face her as you gave her your full attention. “How do you know?”

“You just do,” She smiled, likely remembering the love she shared with her late husband. “There will be this feeling in your stomach, like a swarm of molten hot butterflies fluttering around. He’ll make your chest squeeze just by doing small things like fixing his hair or trying to cheer you up. It’ll be an unavoidable chemistry that you can't fight against. And you’ll fit together perfectly. When you meet the guy that is willing to do anything for you – the one that you’re sure you can’t live without, that’s how you’ll know you found the one. That’s your twin flame-“

Her words were disrupted by the harsh sound of knocking paired with the chime of your doorbell. You both gave each other a look of confusion. You weren’t expecting anyone, and you haven’t had many visitors come by since Dustin left for summer camp and you got a job. You got up and made your way to the door, swinging it open to reveal no other than your two coworkers holding a pizza, a case of cheap beer, and a rented movie. They were in the middle of bickering before you cleared your throat.

“Henderson!“

“Y/N, we brought you pizza!” Robin grinned, holding up the box.

“And beer,” Steve smiled, holding up the case.

“I see that,” You chuckled, leaning against your doorframe. “Why?”

“To help you get over your broken heart,” Robin blinked as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Duh. It was Steve’s idea.”

She pushed past you, waving at your mother and setting down the pizza on the coffee table.

“Your idea, huh?” You smiled softly, feeling those oh-so familiar molten butterflies your mother was talking about. “I thought you had a date tonight, Harrington.”

“I canceled,” He shrugged. “Priorities.”

“I’m a priority?”

“Woah, woah, woah. Hey, don’t get a fat head, Henderson,” He smirked, brushed past you as he walked into your house. He kept his eyes on you at all times, not noticing your mother on the couch. “My priorities, in order, are pizza, beer, and Blade Runner-“

“I’m not watching Blade Runner.”

“You have no taste. Lucky for you, we also got The Breakfast Club,” He held up the VHS in his hand. “So let’s eat and get tipsy while we watch a movie! It’s the best way to cure a broken heart. Tried and approved by millions!”

“I have to pick Dustin up in the morning.”

“I’ll take care of that, sweetie,” Your mother finally chimed in. Steve’s eyes widened as he quickly tried to hide the beers behind his back. She simply laughed. “Don’t get too drunk and don’t do anything stupid. I’ll let you drink this one time if you give me one of those beers.”

“Deal!” Steve smiled, handing your mom the unopened one in his hand. “Thank you, Mrs. Henderson. We’ll be responsible.”

She smiled and nodded before mouthing ‘He’s cute!’ with wide eyes and a smile. You blushed when you heard Steve chuckle.

“Okay, Mom! Goodnight!” You said quickly.

“Goodnight, kiddos!”

“Goodnight, Mrs. Henderson!” Your friends called.

“Who says Steve Harrington can’t pull chicks?” Robin smirked. “He’s got your mom wrapped around his finger.”

“Okay! Ew!”

“I do, don’t I?” Steve chuckled. “Lookin’ for a new daddy, Henderson?”

“Lookin’ for another beating, Harrington?” You frowned, making them laugh. “What movies did you guys end up renting anyway?”

“You’ve heard of Jessie’s Girl, wait til you hear about Henderson’s Mom,” Robin chuckled, earning a high five from Steve as they took residence on your couch.

“I will shake every single can in this case if you make another comment about my mom,” You warned, making them laugh again. You flipped through the four movies they brought and plopped The Breakfast Club in your VHS player before taking the middle spot on the couch.

You all chatted and giggled and chugged several beers during the first thirty minutes of the movie. As interested as you all were in the movie, your tired bodies eventually gave out. Robin fell asleep in your lap and your very sleepy head fell upon Steve’s shoulder. He felt himself smile at the sight.

He used his free hand to move the hair out of your face and chuckled softly at the way you scrunched your nose. You struggled to find a good position until he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and you settled comfortably into him.

He couldn’t help but fixate on the lightened scar on your brow that you acquired during the fight with Billy only six months prior. His thumb softly rubbed over the slit of hairless skin that split your eyebrow, feeling a pang of guilt for not being able to protect you that night.

“Mm’ tickles,” You frowned as you buried your face deeper into his shoulder. He chuckled.

“Okay, sorry,” He smiled before he rested his head on your own and allowed himself to drift off as the soft sounds of the movie continued to coax you all into a deep sleep.

———

You all awoke the the harsh sound of banging. You three jumped up, groaning as you stretched out your stiff limbs.

“Who the hell is knocking at..” Steve rubbed the sleep out of his eyes before looking at your clock. “Jesus, nine in the morning.”

“My brother’s friends,” You sighed, pushing Robin off of you before you walked over to the door, opening it to reveal five excited kids. “Oh, great. You’re all here. Keep it down while we drink our coffee, would you?”

They all frowned in confusion as Steve walked up behind you to see who was at the door.

“Jesus, you guys sure do knock loudly for having such small hands,” He grumbled before looking down at you. “Coffee’s been made. Want some?”

“Oh. Did we interrupt something, Y/N?” Max smirked. You narrowed your eyes at her.

“Just our weekly Kid-Haters-Anonymous meeting,” Robin shouted from the kitchen before she peaked her head around the corner. “You’re just in time for the sacrificial ritual. Any volunteers?”

“I vote Red,” Steve smiled, making her face drop.

“Come in,” You giggled, moving aside as the weary kids took their spots on the couch. “Don’t worry. We’ll be out of your hair soon. We have a shift at 11:00.”

“You are not joining our Welcome Back party?” Eleven voiced her concern.

“Nope,” Steve asked as he helped you quickly cleaned up the small mess you left in the living room. “You guys want some beer?”

They all stared at him blankly.

“That was a joke,” You chuckled along with Steve as you cleared out the last of the empty beer cans into the trash bag in his hands.

“Oh,” They breathed.

“Right, well, uh,” Steve turned to face you, feeling a bit awkward as the kids all stared at the both of you without shame. “I’m gonna head out so I can get ready. Are you taking Robin today or am I?”

“I got her,” You muttered as you took the trash out of his hands. “See you at 11:00?”

“Yup,” He nodded, shooting you a soft smile as he grabbed his keys and walked towards the front door.

You watched as he stopped at the mirror next to your door. His longer fingers skillfully brushed through his hair as he attempted to tame his mane, making your stomach do more flips than an Olympic gymnast. His lips were still a little swollen from his slumber, eyes droopy from the lack of sleep. That’s when you remembered the night before.

There will be this feeling in your stomach, like a swarm of molten hot butterflies fluttering around. He’ll make your chest squeeze just by doing small things like fixing his hair or trying to cheer you up.

You blinked at the realization as he continued to work through his locks. You’d fallen asleep in his arms the night before and it felt so.. natural. You were honestly a bit surprised that your neck or back didn’t hurt from the position, but it was almost as if you fit perfectly into one another like a puzzle.

It’ll be an unavoidable chemistry that you can't fight against. And you’ll fit together perfectly.

“No fucking way..” You muttered under your breath.

“Huh?” Steve turned around to face you.

“What?” Your eyes widened. “Nothing! I didn’t say anything.”

A small smile crept up on his lips as the expression you wore, eyes narrowing ever so slightly as he debating asking about it before he finally decided to open the door and take his leave. “I’ll see you later, Henderson.”

“You are blushing,” Eleven stated as the door closed, making her friends giggle.

“And you guys are getting on my last nerve,” You huffed before marching to your room to get ready for your shift. As you tossed on your uniform, you convinced yourself it was simply the sleep deprivation talking earlier.

When you meet the guy that is willing to do anything for you – the one that you’re sure you can’t live without, that’s how you’ll know you found the one. That’s your twin flame.

That was ridiculous. Nothing more than the words of a hopeless romantic.

Steve Harrington was not the one. And most definitely was not your twin flame… He couldn’t be.

Right?

———

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a/n: and we’re back with season THREE!! i honestly can’t believe we’re here! thank you all for following along! CANT WAIT TO SHOW YOU WHAT IVE GOT PLANNED FOR THIS SEASON!!

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