Some friend: Hey, gurl… what’s up? You smell so different today? New perfume?
Us: *internally* Well, yes. That is due to the tonns of men’s deodorant a male alter used while getting ready this morning.
Us: *speaking out loud* No, Dude… I have no idea. But I noticed too, though!
Friend: You kinda smell like a guy, you know?
All male alters internally: HECK YEAH!!
Alter: Hey, I kinda want an eyebrow cut…- you all in?
Rest of the system: Yeah, dude. Go for it.
Alter: *already holding the scissors* Here we g-…
Protector: WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOINGGGGG???!!!
The struggle of being a left-handed stuck in a right-handed body; the lack of fine motor skills is shocking me every time…
Especially while trying to wrap up new wounds…
Why are we like this. We have a family, people who love us, enough money and food to survive and to live a happy life.
Why can’t we be happy?
Why do we want to die? Every second of the day and every moment of the night our thoughts are circling about the best method to kill ourselves.
Why are we like that. Why are we such a disappointment?
Searching for a better place while we have everything we could ever wish for here with us.
But why doesn’t the pain stop? Why is it still hurting?
Why does it feel like we’ve swallowed a blade that’s cutting our insides open?
Why does it feel like a metal fist is slowly closing around our heart making it impossible to keep going, to the point where we are unable to cry?
And why does it feel like someone is choking us? Strangling us alive slowly but surely? And everything we are able to do is to watch how life fades from our body.
Will it be a better place there? Will it? Is there even a better place?
Or is a soul something that can’t be fixed?
Late night thoughts by Mina (15 y.o.)
What a psychologist just sits there and does nothing while her patient is experiencing a major panic attack caused by her senior doctor hitting the wall?
Oh, I know which one… our’s.
Memories: each and every time they’re a freaking slap in the face.
WE ACTUALLY LOST 5 POUNDS IN LIKE 4 DAYS.
SO HAPPYYYYYY (Even though the Head Doc is killing us for it lol)
Not healthy, we know… but still!!!!!!!
We thought we could expect a little bit more sensitivity and understanding from the nurses in the psychiatry ward. Even though it’s not our first stay there we still had hope.
“Slowly you should really understand that there is no point in cutting yourself? You are going to regret it and think to yourself why you made yourself ugly.”
Wow, thank you.
First of all; yes, they are still not getting it and saying the body’s name and using the singular ‘you’.
Does she think we don’t know that? Why are there people like that working in the psychiatry ward? We don’t get it.
Did anyone want to know what it looks like in a psych ward? No? Never mind, you got it anyways…
I want to go home please!!! I don’t want to stay here! We all don’t want to!!
Sometimes I just think that we don’t deserve to be happy.
And just now I am thinking I am right.
More poorly made memes…
We are bad at memes. Sorry not sorry.
I don’t know if there is an English equivalent to describe selfharm or more specifically the act of cutting, that is that disrespectfully to us like that verb our mother is using day by day, on and on. It doesn’t matter how many times we already told her; she keeps on using it.
Our mother: I don’t care that you are cutting. I just want to prevent the situation of a doctor telling me that you took 40 Aspirin pills a week ago.
I am just tired.
I want to die. The sooner the better. Please…
I can’t- I really can’t do this anymore.
Mum: Oh, come on! It’s not that bad this time! You’ll be out in one month or something!
We: *judging* Yeah, sure… We’re… totally fine.
Just going to the PSY because we feel like it. Not because we are going to kill ourselves if we have to stand one more day here…
But yeah! Totally fine and basically unnecessary!
We’re going back to the PSY next week… wish us luck…