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Just trying to get my thoughts in order about all of the implications about Tim’s past that last night’s episode revealed, and how it relates to other scenes in the show’s history.

Because holy crap, last night’s revelations were a dumpster fire. And while I’m still upset that he didn’t at least text Lucy to say he was alive, I’m starting to get it.

Tim was young when he was a squad leader in the army (to be fair most are, but still, as someone who is now older than he would have been, the pressure of the decisions he would have been making hits even harder). Based off of his being a 12 year LAPD vet when Lucy was a Rookie, he would have been max 26-27 when he was discharged. Which means he was probably even younger when everything happened.

So going over everything that was revealed last night— One of the men under Tim’s command stole nearly half a million dollars and went absent without leave. Obviously Tim didn’t report him (likely to protect his wife since all of Ray’s benefits would have been cut off), because Ray was able to order an airstrike on the location of his own squad, killing at least 2 of Tim’s men (again, there wasn’t even enough left of them to fill a shoebox) and likely severely injuring several others. And again Tim fudges the report, so that Ray’s ‘widow’ and daughter will get his death benefits (this is so Tim, but more on that later).

We already know Tim takes on so much blame, even when he doesn’t deserve it. Can you imagine how much guilt he’s shouldering over this?!

And that regret over his actions doesn’t even take into account what we also know about Mitch’s injury. Because I looked back over the transcripts from Casualties, and it definitely sounds like that was a separate incident (he specifically stated that he let Mitch slide on something he shouldn’t have. Not let something slide in general). So we have at least 2 incidents of Tim trying to show the men he was in charge of some compassion, and it resulted in severe injury or death of the people he was responsible for.

No wonder rules matter.

There’s also the revelation that Tim was dubbed the Reaper - aka the personification of death. We don’t have much background info on why that is, but I can definitely see him not wanting Lucy to know about that side of his past, especially with what Greer was implying (that he’d gone soft for not jumping on the chance to kill Ray).

But going back to the ways that all of the ties to past storylines. Remember when Tim reported Mac Daniels and Grey pointed out that he would lose his pension, and Beth specifically asked him how she was supposed to afford to raise their kids? Holy direct parallel. We thought it just related to the way Tim hid Isabel’s addiction, but now we see that the last time he skirted the lines, it got his men killed. And now the pain that Tim was in when Beth tore into him hits so much deeper.

Him trying to hide his tears when he helped Mitch find a job and a bed hits so much deeper.

Tim is absolutely reeling right now. He was barely holding back tears when he came to see Lucy. He needed her comfort even if he couldn’t bring himself to tell her what was going on— Not just to protect her career, but probably out of so much guilt too.

Lucy wasn’t wrong to turn him away. In fact I’m glad that she set boundaries, and I know she was actually hoping that giving him that ultimatum would make him just tell her.

But holy crap does it hurt understanding how much he needed her in that moment.

Both of our babies are in so much pain right now. And I’m really going to need them to at least start letting each other back in during next week's episode, as well as a healing arc for the remainder of season 6.

I’m begging.

#don't mind me #just here having ALL the Tim feelings about this #chenford #tim bradford #the rookie

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[inspired by], [quote].

#SCREAMING #this is amazing and such a gorgeous gorgeous work #all their past and present intertwined in gifs 😭 #BEAUTIFUL #They've come such a long way #I love them your honor #The Rookie #chenford

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how to ask your partner to dance: from nervous words to no words required requested by @watmalik

#im just here #feeling all the feelings about their development #Lucy will always save Tim a dance now #the rookie #chenford #lucy chen #chenford fic

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canon chenford project ❀ ↳ tim-lucy's top 15 scenes (ranked) #2. S05E10 "THE LIST"

#“then some other cop can arrest him” #S1 tim would never #I love how at ease they are here #It's not abou the place it's about being with each other #The super casual grandkids talk always makes me scream too #chenford

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CHENFORD COUNTDOWN counting the days to season six || day 190

#Tim was STARVING #Can't blame him at all #Like look at the absolute GODDESS that Lucy Chen is #I miss them #chenford

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RED, WHITE & ROYAL BLUE (2023)

#red white and royal blue #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #HANDS #gorgeous shot

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#i live there

#good omens #ineffable husbands #aziraphale x crowley #aziracrow #aziraphale #crowley #I WANT TO SCREAM #Especially about the last one !!!

[moonycpd]

The UC storyline is something that has been looming over Tim & Lucy for a while now. So it's passed time that we deal with this conflict. And with Tim being confronted by both his past (with Isabel) and his present/future (with Lucy confiding about her fears for him), we are finally getting to the elephant in the room. Because Tim can no longer stay in denial about this. And because Lucy is getting at a crossroad where she has to make a decision regarding her future in UC. And this is what I want to discuss about… to try to see things from her perspective.

Because that's the thing : she loves going undercover. We might not understand why, but she does. And this - finding a career that she loves - is something she has been struggling for years. She said so herself, she has tried many things before. She loves being a cop, particularly going undercover and now that she knows that, it's understandable that she is going to want to hold on to it. And not only does she love it… She's also really good at it! To the point that she is getting noticed. UC is the first (and only) division that went to actively seek her out and try to recruit her. Add to that layer her relationship with her parents, who have been trying to discourage her in the past, and it's not that hard to understand how good it must feel for her to finally find something she loves and to be encouraged to pursue. And that's where she keeps receiving mixed messages.

Because yes, she saw how UC could go wrong and destroy lives. Isabel, Nyla, Mack… She saw and heard the tales. And yet, her mentor is Nyla. Who always kept it real but has never tried to deter her either, whose very first advice was to simply be better than her. And Angela. We may not have seen it directly, but it is implied that she is encouraging her choice by helping her become a detective, despite seeing what happened with Isabel. And let's not forget Tim here. Who's probably her biggest supporter right now despite his own baggage. Who pushed her to go to UC school when she had reservations. Who told her they were worth the risk, knowing she was very well on her way of becoming an undercover agent. Even Tamara looked thrilled for her when she came back from Sacramento. So if all of these people, with all their bad experiences, keep believing in her and pushing her towards UC, why should she drop it?

But most importantly : she never dismissed these cautionary tales. At no point did she ever tried to imply she was better than them. She is simply trying to learn from them. Which incidentally, was the topic of Nyla's class, the one that Lucy was trying to listen discreetly. Let's take a look at her recent behaviour : according to Noah, she could have done more UC ops. Yet she hasn't. The second she had the chance to talk to Isabel alone, she immediately asked her about her own experience. These are the actions of someone who is being cautious and taking it all in before making a decision. She even acknowledged that she never experienced long missions which shows she has at least some self-awareness. She understands that she still doesn't fully know what this life would entail. It's one thing to hear it, it's another to live it. She's still at the beginning of her career, where everything is a bit rosy. She just needs to find her own way. I'm not really comfortable with the idea that she needs to be punished for her choice by getting hurt or getting someone seriously hurt. It's too close to the idea that women need to be punished or humbled for being ambitious and that's a big no from me. Besides, she has been hurt in the job before and she's still doing it. She simply needs to experience a longer mission, with its ups and downs, to see if she really likes it, if that can be compatible with what she wants in life. And not just experiencing the part of playing a different character this time. But also the separation, the anxiety, the lies and deception, leaving the people you love behind (from her real life… but also the ones she will get attached to from her UC life). This is after all how she found out her previous jobs/studies were not for her : by trying. The catch is she can only experience this by being a full-time undercover agent.

Which is why she opened the door for a conversation with Tim, by letting herself be vulnerable and sharing her fear with him : that her going undercover on long missions might be too much for him. There was no judgement on her part. She was merely trying to be honest and broaching the topic they've been avoiding so far. Because she knows that her actions will impact him. Unfortunately, he wasn't ready to open up just yet and shut that line of thought immediately. But she looked torn on that last scene... she knows he wasn't being honest with her.

And maybe Lucy is lying to herself... Maybe she only thinks she loves undercover because her missions so far have been "easy", with no consequences when her cover got burned. Maybe she feels obligated to follow through because the department believed in her and she doesn't want to let them down. Maybe she hasn't fully consider how it would impact her as well. Maybe. But if that's the case, it's even more imperative that she can talk about it with Tim. Lucy needs to talk things out to process things. And right now that line of communication is not open. Not completely at least. And while Nyla could be a good optiin, this is still something that she needs to solve with Tim. Especially if they want to build a life together. She needs to hear his feelings, just like he needs to hear hers. I understand that he is in a difficult position : the last thing he wants is to hold her back. But she still deserves to have all the facts. The onus on this does not rest solely on her shoulders.

And this is why I think it was important that they first solidified their relationship before facing their first hurdle. So that they can confront it together. With Lucy following up on the arms dealer we were introduced to in this episode and going back undercover, this is the perfect opportunity.

#yes to all of this #Chenford #Lucy Chen #we often forget that Lucy is *just* starting in her career and she deserves the chance to figure out what she wants to do with it #Tim and Lucy knew what they were getting into when they started this relationship #The uncomfortable but important conversations as well as compromise from both sides are necessary in every relationship

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nyla harper + her iconic facial expressions

#I love her SO SO MUCH #Queen Nyla Harper

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[ Between my fingers (she lingers) ]

"So you like the dress?"

Nyla takes a big sip of her own glass of wine before she answers, eyes never leaving Angela's as she does. "I like it on you, yeah."

"And...do you want to take it off?" Angela asks as her lips slowly curve into a suggestive grin.

"I do," Nyla whispers against Angela's lips.

OR

A fic set on the same universe as my other Nyla/Angela fic about that night years before when they sleep together after an intense undercover operation (Rated E).

#the rookie #angela lopez #nyla harper #hopez #wlw fanfic #smut fic #this is a smutty sort of prequel for my other nyla angela fic

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[I don't wanna let you love somebody else but me]

Angela and Nyla have been unlucky in the dating department. One day, they promise to marry each other in the future if all else fails, but what happens when they realize they don't really want anyone else?

#the rookie #angela lopez #nyla harper #hopez #wlw fanfic #they're soulmates your honor #I love James and Wesley but this needed to be made #This is a very self-indulgent thing #Just a fun fluffy gay thing made with love #alternate universe

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Chenford + what if we don't work?

Lucy whispers it against his chest as he trails his fingers along the curve of her shoulder, her skin warm beneath his hand. Tim shuts his eyes and swallows, the candlelight creating a soft haze he can still feel even from behind closed lids. "What do you mean?"

She adjusts, moving in closer to him. She hitches her thigh over his leg and presses her lips to his chest. He rumbles, soft and slow, appreciatively, then dips his fingers into her hair further, still lazy and dazed with afterglow. "I mean, what if we don't work? Now that we know," she trails her big toe along his calf gently, and he can feel the smile on her lips pressing against his pec, "all of it. What do we do, then?"

Tim exhales in thought, swallowing at the tail end and shrugging his shoulder carefully. He wraps his arm tight around her and pulls her into his side. He doesn't want to think about the idea that this won't work, but she's right: they should probably have at least an idea for what happens if they don't. They should have contingency plans. He feels a buzzing beneath his skin at the idea that she may have learned to do that from him – that he's the thing her instincts are telling her to make contingency plans for. "I would just like to state for the record, if I have anything to say about it: we're going to work."

She hums quietly, smiling, burying her face into his chest for a long few moments. "I know," she rests her chin against his chest and he opens his eyes, looking down at her, taking it all in. She's smiling up at him with her hair mussed and her cheeks warm, candlelight pooling around her in a soft, ebbing glow. One of her hands is splayed over his side, the other arm extended up, her fingers tracing lightly over his neck. "I'm talking...out of our control, it's impossible for us to change things without completely altering the fabric of our lives, lives are on the line kind of thing."

He laughs, low and soft. "Lucy Chen and her hypotheticals," he murmurs, knowing full well this is more than just a hypothetical, but refusing to acknowledge it. They've been playing fast and loose with the rules and regulations of Mid-Wilshire, something that has his stomach twisting in knots day in and day out even though she's worth it in a way he didn't even understand the first time he said it. "Alright," he rumbles, tapping his finger against her forearm gently, once, twice, three times. "Let's say something happens and we can't. I...don't stop caring about you," he raises his brow. "Do you stop caring about me?"

Lucy presses her lips together. "Never," she shakes her head, her teeth digging into her lower lip.

He nods softly, glancing around the darkened room in thought. It occurs to him, absently, that he needs to talk her into getting a sturdier bed. "We wait," he murmurs, after a long few minutes. Lucy looks at him, confused. "We wait for it to work. We try to find a way to make it work, because I'm not," he bites down on the inside of his cheek, looking down at her, meeting her eye. He holds her gaze, raising his brow as he lets out a soft, almost embarrassed laugh. "I'm not giving you up, Lucy. We make it work, because there's...no other way."

He thinks she may deflate a little – because she loves her hypotheticals, because she wants him to think outside the box with her, because they should probably know the answer to this question that's a little less hypothetical than either of them want to believe – and he pulls her all the way on top of him to thwart some of the fall out.

Instead, her face is soft as she gently slides up his body, her chest pressed into his, her hands flat against his neck as she stares down at him. Her voice is so light when she speaks that he thinks he might be imagining it before he sees her lips moving. "There's no other way?"

Tim swallows, shaking his head just once. "There's no other way," he repeats. "It's just me and you, now."

Lucy lets out a strangled sound he wants to hear again and finds his lips with her own, kissing him slowly, making his mind go blank and his arms go numb. When she pulls back, breathing still heavy and heart still pounding, she presses her face into his neck, kissing his skin softly.

She doesn't say it, but he feels it clear as day: tap, tap, tap against his neck with her thumb. He trails his hand along the curve of her waist slowly, deliberately, hoping he isn't imagining it. He taps his index, middle, and ring finger against her skin in a slow, clear succession.

They're not ready to say it, but they both know what it means.

Lucy lifts her head from his neck, pressing her forehead to his. "It's just me and you, now," she breathes against his mouth, and he catches her lips in another kiss before she can come up with something else to say.

#HI I JUST DIED #reblogging this perfect thing from the afterlife #They WILL make it work #I still can't believe we live in a reality where stuff like this is practically canon #chenford #chenford fanfic

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sometimes the waiting adds to the worth sometimes heartache adds to the healing and darling, that’s the case with you and me

#hoooooooly sh*t #THE HISTORY #the rookie #chenford #This is A M A Z I N G

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THE ROOKIE ⤷ 5.06 | The Reckoning

#then I don't know where your radio is #their playful banter is the best thing ever #I love them so so much #chenford

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[ Coffee flavored notes ]

“Are you guys just going to keep buying each other the whole shop before one asks the other for their number or what?” Aaron asks.

Tim almost chokes on air. “Thorsen, that's not- we’re not like that.”

The younger man nods slowly while pursing his lips, his tone sarcastic when he speaks again, “sure, I constantly exchange notes with cute strangers I have no interest in whatsoever.”

OR

Tim and Lucy meet for the first time while fighting for the only available power outlet at a coffee shop. And then, somehow, they start leaving notes to each other at said shop.

#chenford #lucy chen #tim bradford #the rookie #chenford fic #alternate universe #coffeeshop #post its #fluff #cute and fluffy

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Still screaming about the "they love each other so much that they don't know what to do with that love" (!!!)

there’s something so heartbreaking about that entire exchange between tim and lucy because it feels like a goodbye that’s masked. all this time lucy is saying she wants to stay out of guilt but it runs so much deeper than the chris of it all. tim and lucy verbally acknowledge that none of what is happening between them is pretend. the feelings bubbling over making them one step closer to acting on them is all very real. so real that it scares them bone deep. so deep that you watch as lucy panics and quickly asks tim if he wants to get rid of her but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. its why when he says he thinks its time to move on it looks like his heart is crushing under the words that come out. it all brings it back to both of them wanting the absolute best for each other but not realizing its them. they love each other so much that they don’t know what to do with that love.

#chenford

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Chenford 5x02

That Chenford scene was perfection for me. It was angsty, it was beautiful, it was bittersweet. It was the end of an era, but it opened the door for something bigger and better. Here’s my little between the lines breakdown, because so much was “said” without being said!

To begin with, Chris called Tim (thank goodness for magical recoveries in the Rookie timeline!), a parallel to when Ashley called Lucy. They know who knows them the best!

“It’s not the right time.”

“You owe it to yourself to go.”

“I know–”

“What happened to him isn’t your fault.”

(The same words from Chris hold no weight. She needs to hear this from Tim, a direct parallel to her “what happened wasn’t your fault” after her own kidnapping.)

“We were about to–”

Lucy feels guilty about what happened to Chris, because she didn’t testify at Rosalind’s trial. It’s the reason she tells Chris, and Nyla, she wants someone to absolve her of her guilt, tell her she should go because she really wants to go. But they can’t give her the answer she wants to hear, because they don’t know the whole story of why she feels guilty. Only Tim does.

“But we didn’t. We didn’t.”

“There is still hope for us, we didn’t ruin anything, we can still do this the right way, when we’re not in relationships, when I’m not your direct boss.”

Tim feels guilty about what they almost did, too, but he needs Lucy to feel absolved of that guilt, because she deserves this opportunity. And they deserve the chance to do this the right way.

“Are you trying to get rid of me as your go-fer?”

This feels like a breakup to her, this feels like a rejection, but this is just as painful for Tim. He wants her to stay, he wants her to keep riding together, but they can’t continue like this. It’s not fair for her professionally. He’s doing this for her, because he cares about [loves] her And he’s doing this for THEM, for what they can become.

“No. I’m trying to look out for you. It’s time for you to move on.”

This all goes back to the initial conversation in 4x03 where he said he didn’t want people getting the wrong idea about them together. Although she may not have got his meaning right away in this scene, he IS clearly saying that if they don’t ride together professionally, it means they can be together romantically eventually.

“And some time away would be good.”

She’s still not completely understanding, but that’s okay. She’s going to have a month or more to come to terms with everything. Everything was very physical up until now, she was basking in the aftermath of their first kiss, and then she had a visceral need for comfort and grounding in their second kiss, then what they almost did was going to be mainly physical, and she wasn’t ready yet to admit feelings, not to herself, not to Tim. But she will catch up.

“It’s a great opportunity, Lucy.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“You should go for it.”

As painful as this is, he has to walk away, he has to let her go, because it’s the only way she will come back to him, as his, as each other’s. And they are both teary eyed (seriously it was their eyes that did me in!), and she seems to get a look in her eye showing that she is beginning to understand…

—————————————————-

We knew this day was coming, we knew they would have to stop riding together, we thought that moment was coming many times and it’s finally here and it’s bittersweet. In a way, we the Chenford fandom are Lucy in that scene, and the ‘Chenford partnership era’ is Tim. And Chenford!partnership is telling us it’s time to move on and that hurts us and they are hurting as well to part with us but they know that it’s a great opportunity and its the way forward to romatic era! Chenford. (Did that make any sense? haha) 

#ALL OF THIS #Chenford