morbidlongings

[morbidlongings]

@honeytuesday // ocean vuong // lorde

#this post has been running from the day I posted it 😭😭 so tumblrinas we're lonely lonely huh

[morbidlongings]

hi cece! do you happen to have that one short story you wrote a long time ago based on almost home by mxmtoon? i was writing something today and just remembered how much i loved that piece but i can't find it anymore. if it's not too much to ask :)

aww hi anon, this ask literally made my day! sometimes I still think about that piece too (I wrote it at a funny point in my life and I think I went back and reread it in my docs a few months back) but here it is!! I hope your writing goes well today and that your side of the pillow is always cool <33

#thinking thoughts ... I might rewrite this piece!! it's been a year and half since I wrote it and my writing style has grown a lot I think #let me knowww it might be fun to do that instead of write emails today lolsies #cece gets mail

[morbidlongings]

by k.c cramm

#oh #words

[morbidlongings]

how to love a girl in the shape of a forest fire

a poem by sora h.

ONE. when she tells you she is a forest fire, or a clenched fist, or a bloody knife, do not correct her. when she tells you she is damaged goods, do not try to change her mind. instead, tell her you will love her anyway. she does not need fixing. she does not even need saving. she just needs someone to look at the wreckage and see something worth making a home in.

TWO. listen to the songs she tells you about. even the silly ones. even the ones she only mentions in passing. buy her the books you notice on her to be read list. to love anybody, you have to know them. to love a forest fire, you have to want to.

THREE. remember, you carry a piece of your childhood home everywhere you go. your crooked smiles reflect the off-center picture frames on your wall. the smell of coffee every day keeps you as warm and inviting as your kitchen. but she lived in a house always on fire, and a part of her will always carry the burning. remember to carry extra bandages with you. you cannot love a forest fire girl and come out unscathed.

FOUR. this is the hard part: she is going to hurt you. this is the harder part: you are going to hurt her too. there will be times you can't erase the image of her flinching at the sound of your raised voice out of your head. there will be days you won't forgive yourself for it. but let me tell you a secret: none of us who love leave this life without the scars to prove we loved. none of us come out unscathed.

FIVE. you are not the hero in this story. neither is she. truth is, you're both just trying your best. we are all just trying to be holy. you are not the hero in this story. do not congratulate yourself for loving a forest fire. do not call yourself savior. call yourself lover, and you might get to be both.

SIX. and a reminder, to the forest fires reading this: you are worth more than you know. you do not have to be beautiful. you do not have to be good. you only have to sit in the quiet of the night, look up at the stars, and promise to love the people in your life a little better tomorrow. even yourself. especially yourself.

#oh

[morbidlongings]

#prose #i miss you i miss you i love you #words #favorite

[morbidlongings]

Chinese Satellite - Phoebe Bridgers / Disco Elysium / My My, Hey Hey - Neil Young / Cowboy Bebop x 26 / Andy Muschietti’s direction during the quarry scene in It: Chapter Two / Catherynne M. Valente, Deathless / When the Sick Rule the World, ‘Phone Home’ by Dodie Bellamy / Chelsea Wolfe, from Hisspun; “Two Spirit” / The Four Generations of Chang E - Zen Cho / Woodlands Dark and Days Bewitched: A history of Folk Horror (Kier-La Janisse, 2021) / James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room / Thomas Wolfe, You Can’t Go Home Again / Lorde - Buzzcut Season / Succession 03x07 / Safia Elhillo, from Home Is Not a Country; “The Stranger” / Alexander Harding / Hermann Hesse / Emily Jungmin Yoon, from “Related Matters” / Kentuky Route Zero / Black Sails 01x02 / The Penumbra Podcast 02x09 / Warsan Shire, Home / Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book / Anne Carson, Men in the Off Hours / Twin Peaks: The Missing Pieces / Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me

#oh #parallels #on home

[morbidlongings]

updated the picture to my new substack piece, a tender and affectionate prose-poem about my crush <3 i hope you enjoy it!

#oh this #favorite #prose

[morbidlongings]

040222, S.T.

#oh I love this #poetry #favorite

[morbidlongings]

ellen bass, the thing is

my chemical romance, famous last words

mary oliver, for example

mary shelley, frankenstein

andrea gibson, birthday

#parallels #on living

[morbidlongings]

honey t. from love is stored in the bone marrow

#to hold is what hands are for #honey tag #words

[morbidlongings]

Molly McCully Brown, from Places I’ve Taken my Body: Essays

#words

[morbidlongings]

“One. You see her for the first time and she’ll walk right past you like you are a crack in the wall and she is a skyscraper with her head so high in the air and when you can’t sleep you’ll think about the way her eyes strayed into yours for a moment too long before breaking away and disappearing into the crowd of people. Two. She’ll look both ways before telling you she loves you under her breath and when she hugs you her eyes scan the empty room as if the walls had eyes and ears and mouths that could give you away. Three. When she’s curled up on your lap shaking with mismatched breaths you’ll wonder how someone who looked like she carried mountains on her shoulders could crumble so easily in your arms like the tornado in her mind finally hit her and knocked her off her feet. Four. In half-light she’ll run her fingers over your arms like she is reading words carved into your skin, binding them together into the perfect metaphor and you’ll hear it playback in your head at 4am when your head runs wild with thoughts of her. Five. You’ll find a safe haven on rooftops and abandoned rooms where she’ll set fire to your insides with hushed breaths between kisses planted perfectly on your lips and make you wonder how dangerous it is to play with wild flames while your body is made of paper. Six. You’ll stare God right in the eye and tell him that if loving her was a sin then you want no place in heaven with him because the way her lips fit perfectly on your neck is a type of paradise you’ll never forget.”

— The six stages of falling in love with her. // by rb (via rbcages)

#poetry

[morbidlongings]

a dialogue between the unloved and the loving

neil hilborn // miranda july // @orpheuslament // aaron o’hanlon // georges bataille // natalie wee “least of all” // @fridayiminlovemp3 // maria petrovykh “love me. i am pitch black” // “the seven husbands of evelyn hugo” // sylvia plath “johnny panic & the bible of dreams” // mary oliver “wild geese” // sue zhao // virginia woolf from a letter to katherine mansfield // trista mateer

[ID: a collection of excerpts of text.

..saying goodbye. yes, there is a place where someone loves you both before and after they learn what you are.”

“finally, in a low whisper, he said, “i think i might be a terrible person.” for a split second i believed him - i thought he was about to confess a crime, maybe a murder. then i realized that we all think we might be terrible people. but we only reveal this before asking someone to love us. It is a kind of undressing.”

screaming take me as I am or kill me / screaming peel my skin off like a blindfold / screaming love me despite the horror / screaming please, God, love me because of it.

“show me your thorns and i’ll show you hands ready to bleed.”

“i kneel into a dream where i / am good & loved. i am good. / i am loved. my hands have made / some good mistakes. they can always / make better ones.

 capitalized letters that look like they’ve been cut and pasted on top of overhead pictures of fields. it reads: “tell me every terrible thing you ever did / and let me love you anyway.”

love me. i am pitch black, / sinful, blind, confused. / but if not you, then who else / is going to love me?

“if you are intolerable, let me be the one to tolerate you,” i said, and then i kissed her and tasted the lemon juice on her lips.

“you have seen the rotten streak in me and you have come back, no matter how bad it was. you have always come back. can’t you see? you have taken me always as I am, no matter what.”

“i wish you wouldn’t look at me like that.” “like what?” “i don’t know,” she hesitated. “like you could love me.”

“i love you, and i am conscious of you all the time.”

in this space right here that we have made for each other, you can say anything and i will not abandon you. unwrap the worst things you have done. watch me hold them up to the light and not even flinch. 

 end of ID]

#dialogue between the unloved and the loving. ok #parallels

[morbidlongings]

impromptu url change!! my morbid longing for the macabre era

ksiezniqzka >> morbidlongings

#cece.txt #url change #mutuals mayhaps sb!! time for me to have an actually spellable url on this blog LMAO #anyways it was time for a change <3 #also idk why I even had a polish url I'm far more connected to being chinese than I am to being polish #hashtag deluded

[morbidlongings]

— snow globes, tara fae

[ID: image reads: “I want an eternity made of glass. the secret to holding something up for so long is to imagine the shards at your feet, the ones that you’ll have to step through to run from your mistakes. I want an eternity made of glass, one which will shatter into a million pieces once I can’t hold it any longer. dropping the snow globe is an easy way out. by running from anything you ask it to chase after. by dropping the glass you’re asking for an ending. closing of a door. locking of a door. this is a place where good taste goes to die. snow globes with entire worlds inside. globe inside a globe. I want an eternity made of glass, mirror facing another mirror facing its reflection and waiting to fall off the wall. a stalemate of sorts. the secret to holding something up for so long is imagining the impact of its fall. the glass shards, the bad luck that comes from a broken mirror. the windows of a home really just point inward. this is a place where good taste goes to die, where the curtains are always shut, so no one can see when the snow globe falls off the shelf or the eternity made of glass hits the floor when you forget how to hold it up.” END ID]

#oh this #poetry #favorite

[morbidlongings]

DEAD GIRL click for quality

#oh I'm obsessed with this #many thoughts heads full #favorite #poetry

[morbidlongings]

Richard siken was right. everyone I know is in some kind of pain. everyone.

#words #richard siken