mormonculturememes

[mormonculturememes]

queer mormons we have the opportunity to say the funniest thing imaginable

#led #reblog #like gang. gang do you realize what this means

[mormonculturememes]

image text under the cut

1916 Beehive Requirements

In 1916 every female over fourteen was a Beehive girl until she entered Relief Society; there were no Mia Maids, Gleaners, or Laurels. The following are twenty out of the three hundred seventy-three requirements possible for a Beehive girl to earn her awards:

Care successfully for a hive of bees for one season and know their habits.

Give the distinguishing characteristics of 6 varieties of hen and cattle and tell the good and weak points of each.

Exterminate the mosquitos over an area of 1/2 mile square by pouring a little kerosene on the surface of all standing pools of water twice each month during April, May, or June. Six girls may do this and each receive an award, or one girl can receive six awards.

Make two articles of underwear by hand.

Cover 25 miles on snowshoes in any six days.

Learn to float in Great Salt Lake and propel yourself 50 feet.

During three consecutive months abstain from candy, ice cream, commercially manufactured beverages and chewing gum.

For one month masticate your food so thoroughly that it slips down without any visible effort at swallowing it.

Successfully put a new washer on a faucet.

Care for at least two kerosene lamps daily.

For three months take care of milk and cream from at least one cow and see that the pails, pans, strainer, and separator are thoroughly cleansed.

During two weeks keep the house free from flies or destroy at least 25 flies daily.

Have your toilet moved to an isolated place in the garden. Have a frame of chicken wire built about three feet away and plant quick-growing vines such as cucumber or morning glories to screen it from observation.

Whitewash your toilet inside and out.

Know and describe three cries of a baby.

Without help or advice care for and harness a team at least five times; drive fifty miles during one season.

During 2 summer months clean ice chest thoroughly twice a week.

Discover ten reasons why the Columbine should be made the national flower.

Clear sage-brush, etc. off one-half acre of land.

Know 6 blazes used by Indians.

#j #OKAY???!? #most of these are v thrifty and practical #a handful are utterly unhinged i'm thinking of no.3

[mormonculturememes]

when the whole squad has that efy swag

In the cultural hall no less I’m SCREAMING

#led #reblog #I KNEW following the Utah tag in my dash would yield good stuff for this blog eventually #I never went to efy cus my parents couldn't afford it but in college I did work for byu catering which feeds the teens when they come aroun #and. well #listen I'll respectfully disagree with most people who refer to the entirety of mormonism as a cult #but efy??? that's a cult environment babes #and this dance. is part of it

[mormonculturememes]

woe, she-bears be upon thee

ah nooooo

#the-nightwing-thief #ask #elisha

[mormonculturememes]

to you it is given to know little a the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven. as a treat.

#reblog #j #why didn't i just post this here to begin with

[mormonculturememes]

Last night I was lying awake, mentally giving church history figures funny nicknames, all using the same format:

-Joey S

-Marty H

-Ollie C

-Parley P—wait no, dangit

see, what you ran into here is the breaking of a pattern in which names which didn't already end with an -ey sound were given an -ey ending. The solution when you encounter a name that Does end with -ey is to reverse the pattern, and give it a completely different ending. You have to call him Parliament

#led #ask #endless-fluffering #parlimonious. parlacience #parlorhouse #parlentipration #parlanormal activity

[mormonculturememes]

so my wife and I caved to the hype and watched goncharov last night, and yeah it's very good very gay sofia pretty etc. and like. Even today representation of the church in movies is Not Awesome so when I saw the elders in the opening scene I was already rolling my eyes. but like the fact that they were a) apparently SELLING bofm copies?? have we ever done that at all in church history??? b) literally standing on a soapbox like its the heckin 1800s. I screamed

almost didn't get through the rest of the movie cus them immediately getting gunned down in the crossfire between gonch and mario was v hard to watch but. twas worth it if only to be in the loop on the memes sdfgjk

#led #I wanna just blame ignorance cus that's what it usually is but I can't help but wonder if them dying instantly was targeted #I'm fairly certain joseph f smith started the trend of Every general authority presenting at least one initial with their name as a way to #be inclusive of people of license plate ancestry. but maybe matteo jwhj0175 thought it was cultural appropriation lol #also I have no idea how much £5 in 1973 would be in modern usd but I feel like it would be a LOT.... #goncharov #unreality #this is the only gonchpost I will make jfsgdjf enjoy

[mormonculturememes]

#hi i am losing my mind #j #reblog

[mormonculturememes]

arms: up

wrists: together

knees: together

toes: together

feet: apart

head: back

bum: out

tongue: out

i am forcibly initiated into girls’ camp a jellyfish a jellyfish a jellyfish fish

#this post has not gone through any peer review #it is presented without apology #j

[mormonculturememes]

I had a terrible idea and nobody could stop me, so...

#Ali #reblog #bon appetit everyone

[mormonculturememes]

HELLO THIS IS EVERYTHING

@thebloggerbloggerfun and I have been working on creating a Book of Mormon tarot set for a while now, and we’ve put so much thought into it. I’ve been debating sharing because we genuinely want to get this deck published and I don’t want someone stealing it from under us, but! We’ve finished assigning the Major Arcana and the four Courts aaaaaand

We are now looking for an illustrator! (Since my hasty photoshops are amusing to me but non-cohesive and also copyrighted.) Are you interested? Do you know someone who might be? Shoot me a message!

[Image ID: Major Arcana cards from the Ryder Waite tarot deck photoshopped so the art is Book of Mormon characters, mostly from famous Mormon paintings and the Children’s Illustrated Book of Mormon Stories.

First row: The Fool. Zeezrom hands the plates to Nephi who is out of frame. The Magician. The Brother of Jared kneels, shielding his eyes from the light of glowing rocks. The High Priestess. Abish gestures with wide-flung arms.

Second row: The Empress. Sariah rests her head on her hands, looking peaceful with her eyes closed. The Emperor. Lehi preaches in Jerusalem. The Hierophant. King Benjamin delivers his sermon from the top of a tower.

Third row: The Lovers. King Lamoni touches his wife’s cheek tenderly as she raises him from his sleep. The Chariot. A Jaredite boat is tossed by the waves. Justice. Captain Moroni raises the Title of Liberty on a staff.

Fourth row: The Hermit: Moroni kneels and prays over the golden plates before burying them. Wheel of Fortune. The Liahona is lifted in two hands. Strength. Ammon defends his flock from robbers out of frame.

Fifth row: The Hanged Man. Abinadi is burned at the stake. Death. Zeezrom lies on his death bed. Temperance. Lamoni’s father sits on his throne, talking to Aaron out of frame.

Sixth row: The Devil. Korihor preaches to his followers. The Tower. A Zoramite stands praying with outstretched arms atop a rameumptom. The Star. Nephi stretches out his hand to subdue his rebellious brothers.

Seventh row: The Moon. Amulek steps out from his destroyed prison. The Sun. Alma the Younger lies on the ground confronted by an angel out of frame. Judgement. Pahoran writes to Captain Moroni.

Final row: The World. Lehi’s vision of the iron rod leading to the Tree of Life. /End ID.]

#led #reblog #AAAA THIS IS SO COOOOOOL AND THESE CHOICES ARE SO GOOD HOLY SMOKES #it's bedtime for me rn so I'm scheduling this to post in the morning after which I will also reblog it to bomm with detailed reactions to #these Top Tier genius immaculate choices #for now I will simply say abish as the high priestess and alma & amulek as sun & moon legit brought tears to my eyes

[mormonculturememes]

Enjoy my low-effort meme

#reblog #j

[mormonculturememes]

Albert wrote to his father as soon as he was settled in London. “My dear father,” he began, “I do sincerely hope and pray that you may ere long see the error of telling the people that the Mormons murdered your son.”

Saints v3 ch2

#obsessed with the way people wrote in the 19th century #the dead son in question is albert himself #sometimes i can still hear his voice

[mormonculturememes]

I could not resist...like father, like son

[Brother Andersen: *about to go off about Klingons* Sister Andersen, smiling sweetly: NO PLEASE WHY]

[Mormon Cricket: *about to go off about grasshopper shakes* Deserette, completely stone-faced: no please why]

The Mormon Cricket & Deserette in... Secret Identity

It was a quiet night in Salt Lake City, and Deserette was bored. As one of a myriad of superheroes residing in the city, she’d grown accustomed to two things: being able to fight evildoers when they appear, and to be able to chat with her partner when the evildoers decided to take a break. Tonight, she was doing neither of these things; no evil seemed to be running amuck throughout the city, and her partner, the hero known as the Mormon Cricket, was nowhere to be seen.

A few hours after he was supposed to arrive, Deserette found herself growing concerned. It wasn’t like him to be late. She hoped nothing bad had happened to him – for all she knew, he could have been killed. Or worse! He could be grounded.

    Deserette suddenly stopped her worrying. Something had changed, and she liked it. “I know you’re there,” she announced to the night sky with a smile.

    A lean and green figure landed dramatically on the rooftop, his impact barely audible. His gloved hands were clenched into fists, and his antennae blew in the wind. This was the Mormon Cricket, defender of Salt Lake City.

“You’re late,” said Deserette.

Keep reading

#reblog #i-am-verdant #*wipes tear* content...written content...it's so beautiful... #I adore the characterization of his parents so much they're adorable #the mormon cricket #led

[mormonculturememes]

#happy easter #j

[mormonculturememes]

Hi! I’ve been feeling nostalgic for the Mormon Cricket related characters so here’s some sketches I drew tonight of our hero himself and Deserette (because it occurred to me I’ve never drawn her)

Them!!!!! they look amazing!!!!!!!!

#led #ask #the-nightwing-thief #the way that I am swooning right now..... #the mormon cricket #predictive text wanted me to put the mormon catgirl. ideal

[mormonculturememes]

when my mom was little she thought the priests had a button behind the sacrament table which made the "hmmnn" sound after they finished the prayer

#couldn't be a congregation saying amen noncommittally oh no