moth-brain

[moth-brain]

Rachel Rector: 'Teabag Cyanotypes' (2021)

#oooo this is so cool

[moth-brain]

And speaking of Sophia Tolstoy, her diaries are just so depressing. 

“I am to gratify his pleasure and nurse his child, I am a piece of household furniture, I am a woman. I try to suppress all human feelings. When the machine is working properly it heats the milk, knits a blanket, makes little requests and bustles about trying not to think […].“

She wrote this when she was 19, one year into her marriage to Leo and as she was pregnant with the first of his 13 children.

A few years later, when she was 25 or so:

“I am so often alone with my thoughts that the need to write in my diary comes quite naturally … Now I am well again and not pregnant—it terrifies me how often I have been in that condition. He said that for him being young meant “I can achieve anything”. For me […] reason tells me that there is nothing I either want or can do beyond nursing, eating, drinking, sleeping, and loving and caring for my husband and babies, all of which I know is happiness of a kind, but why do I feel so woeful all the time, and weep as I did yesterday? I am writing this now with the pleasantly exciting sense that nobody will ever read it, so I can be quite frank with myself […].“

During her 12th pregnancy she wrote about taking scalding baths and jumping from high pieces of furniture to try and miscarry.  And at one point while reading her husband’s diary (which he told her to read) she found the sentence “There is no such thing as love, only the physical need for intercourse and the practical need for a life companion.” In her own diary she wrote “They ebb and flow like waves, these times when I realise how lonely I am and want only to cry…”

A few years before her husband’s death, she published a cycle of prose poems titled “Groans”, under the pseudonym “A Tired Woman”.

[moth-brain]

[moth-brain]

[moth-brain]

nature artwork by Andy Goldsworthy

[moth-brain]

[moth-brain]

Study for Lamia by John William Waterhouse

[moth-brain]

This was an interesting article to read. I think it's a little simple but still fun to skim thru.

[moth-brain]

Hold the fuck on no way WW3 jokes are trending on Twitter when this is an extremely serious situation that’s threatening to destabilize an entire region. No way everyone’s gleefully looking at this as if it’s the grand show finale they’ve been waiting all along. There is no fucking way

[moth-brain]

animal farm (1945) - george orwell

"womp womp"

[moth-brain]

sucks that if you show someone your cool new bruise they usually say something like "yeowch!" or "oh no how did you get that?" instead of ooh so pretty i like the shape & colors

[moth-brain]

Using dissociate instead of zoning out. Describing a hobby as a hyperfixation. Saying nonverbal when you want a bit of quiet. Saying intrusive thoughts because that must mean an urge like to buy coffee or hair dye. Do you know feeling off sometimes is a sign of autism? Lying is gaslighting. Everyone I dislike is a narcissist.

[moth-brain]

A cosmic tribute to my current favourite comment in YouTube history

[moth-brain]

glee is so awesome because they were like "let's make a singing show!" and then wrote an ensemble of characters who are all varying degrees of evil and possess varying degrees of musical talent (some of them not very much) and most of all every single one of them is wildly manipulative and loooooves cheating and also loves mind games. and they sing and dance on my tv for my entertainment. and they also bring in kurt's dad every so often to make sure i cry a little. it's such good tv.

[moth-brain]

I love the ocean 🌊

[moth-brain]

oh fuck *falls back into old habits* *screen fades to black* *level loading* TIP: your belief that you are incapable of changing for the better will become a self fulfilling prophecy if left unchallenged

[moth-brain]

there's something deeply wrong with me