mrtortoises

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whenever i use scissors i always have this brief thought of “ohoho man imagine if i accidentally snipped off my nipple”

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i wanna date someone and live with them in a shitty apartment but be happy about it because we are happy together and we can decorate it with stupid dorky posters of shit we like and figurines and art and we can cook weird recipes we found on the internet and eat them and watch cartoons even if the food is gross because we made it and we’re perfect

#i cant even believe i'm living this

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HOW WAS SPY KIDS 3 A MOVIE

Can we talk about Spy Kids 3 for a second because it’s just the MOST BAFFLING CINEMATIC EXPERIENCE EVER

First we open to LITTLE BABY SELENA GOMEZ

THE PRESIDENT IS GEORGE CLOONEY?

Later we see Juni’s grandpa who is KHAN??

who spends the whole movie chasing a butterfly

THE VILLAIN IS SYLVESTER STALLONE

WHO GETS VILLAIN ADVICE FROM THREE OTHER SYLVESTER STALLONES

ELIJAH WOOD SHOWS UP

ONLY TO DIE IN THE NEXT SCENE

Then we find out that the president was actually the villain the whole time which makes ZERO SENSE but leads to this glorious George Clooney Sylvester Stallone impression

Then we get Antonio Benderez doing this?

AND THEIR UNCLE WHO IS STILL MACHETE

AND THEN STEVE BUSCEMI SHOWS UP ON A FLYING PIG FOR NO REASON

HOW WAS THIS A MOVIE???

#what

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HOLY MOTHER OF SHIT THIS ACTUALLY FUCKING WORKED NOW LET ME TELL YOU IM A FUCKING SKEPTIC FOR THESE SORTS OF THINGS BUT I WAS DESPERATE AND COINCIDENCE OR NOT THIS FUKING WORKED GODDAMN

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

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#look at hat bae playin da game #luvluv #got

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reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

#okay doing htis cause im desperate

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People in their early twenties still refer to people older than them as “adults”. When do you think they stop… and realize… they are adults

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ive been rickrolled twice today

#TWICE IN A ROLL #I'M GETTING OFF THIS

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#THIS IS INHUMAN #GODDAMIT THIS WEBSITE

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eafiu replied to your post: eafiu replied to your post: Read More...

i still bang my head on my table about a moment like that 4 years ago he was such a bf material

we should set up a club tbh

#eafiu #you name it

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eafiu replied to your post: Read More →

it’s the most annoying feeling when you look back at a moment with a friend and you realize they were 100% asking you out (especially if it so happens to be a friend you WOULD date tbh) IT SUCKS

right? all i could think when i got to the realization was "jfc i'm dumb as fuck" lmao maybe next time (or maybe light years from now bc lets be real)

#eafiu

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lmao it must say a lot about me that even when it's crystal clear i don't realize that people may actually be interested in me. 

sigh

#anyway #that was weird as fuck cause i had no idea he was gay #tbd maybe? #idk

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that in which i apply for a job and actually get the position

and it is great

2k15 game too strong

#bout me #personal

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#lmfao #korra

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DO YOU EVER SIT THERE AND WONDER LIKE??? HAVE PEOPLE ACTUALLY HAD CRUSHES ON YOU AND YOU NEVER REALIZED IT LIKE WHAT IF THEY HAD THIS BURNING PASSION FOR YOU BUT NEVER SAID ANYTHING FOR WHATEVER REASON AND INTERNALLY SCREAMED OVER YOUR EXISTENCE AND ALL THE LITTLE THINGS YOU DID JUST LIVING YOUR LIFE WOW

#no bro #not ever

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#friends

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"this song reminded me of you" is the lowkey nicest thing you can hear

#snorts