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“wow you blocked me just cuz i disagreed with you???”

yes. yes, exactly. this is a social media site. i come here to look at pictures of birds and shitpost with my friends. this is not a town hall meeting; i am not your elected official. i do not owe you my energy, my space, or my time. you and i are strangers that use the same website. i can block you for literally any reason and that’s okay. take a deep breath. block me too. you’ll feel better.

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“The entire British museum is an active crime scene” - John Oliver

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Antihero landing

fan art

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So, let me guess– you just started a new book, right? And you’re stumped. You have no idea how much an AK47 goes for nowadays. I get ya, cousin. Tough world we live in. A writer’s gotta know, but them NSA hounds are after ya 24/7. I know, cousin, I know. If there was only a way to find out all of this rather edgy information without getting yourself in trouble…

You’re in luck, cousin. I have just the thing for ya.

It’s called Havocscope. It’s got information and prices for all sorts of edgy information. Ever wondered how much cocaine costs by the gram, or how much a kidney sells for, or (worst of all) how much it costs to hire an assassin?

I got your back, cousin. Just head over to Havocscope.

((PS: In case you’re wondering, Havocscope is a database full of information regarding the criminal underworld. The information you will find there has been taken from newspapers and police reports. It’s perfectly legal, no need to worry about the NSA hounds, cousin ;p))

Want more writerly content? Follow maxkirin.tumblr.com!

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Heard some important information on Twitter today, and thought I’d post it here for anyone who may not have heard it. This is actually a thing, devised by human rights organisation called Karma Nirvana.

Reblog to save a life?

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Humans Are Weird

So there has been a bit of “what if humans were the weird ones?” going around tumblr at the moment and Earth Day got me thinking. Earth is a wonky place, the axis tilts, the orbit wobbles, and the ground spews molten rock for goodness sakes. What if what makes humans weird is just our capacity to survive? What if all the other life bearing planets are these mild, Mediterranean climates with no seasons, no tectonic plates, and no intense weather? 

What if several species (including humans) land on a world and the humans are all “SCORE! Earth like world! Let’s get exploring before we get out competed!” And the planet starts offing the other aliens right and left, electric storms, hypothermia, tornadoes and the humans are just … there… counting seconds between flashes, having snowball fights, and just surviving. 

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wow…ahead of its time (and ahead of its host)

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REMEMBER THAT POST WITH CINDERELLA WHERE HER DRESS CHANGES TO THE COLOR OF YOUR BLOG?

THIS ONE DOES IT TOO!!

I found a bunch more!!

x

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Imho the idea of ‘cruelty free’ products or food shouldn’t mean that nothing died to create it, but rather that anything and anyone involved in the creation process hasn’t been exploited or harmed.

Leather is good actually. Veganism isn’t the end all be all to morality and consumption. The issue isn’t that a chicken died for those nuggets, but that while the chicken was alive, it’s life fucking sucked. Vegan chocolate means little if the cocoa that made it was gathered by child slave labor.

Factory farms, abuses of the people who pick the fruit and vegetables we eat, the focus profit and productivity over all else - that’s the fucking issue here. It’s capitalism folks.

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Parenting 101 by Battinson Bruce Wayne

Dick: Bruce? I’m hungry.

Bruce, crouched in a corner, shuffling through a case file: where is Alfred

Dick: Remember he went to England last week?? I’m hungry! You have to feed me.

Bruce: *shuffles over to the mini fridge he has in the cave, finds a bag of shredded cheese, sits on the ground with it*

Dick: That’s just cheese tho??

Bruce: yes.

Dick, a ten year old: *shrugs* ok cool!

—

Dick, testing boundaries: I want to watch Jurassic Park.

Bruce: ok

Dick: I-It’s midnight?? I have school tomorrow?

Bruce, wearing a ratty old bathrobe and some flannel pants, eyes glued to the floor and hair falling in his face: caniwatchitwithyou

Dick: yeah?? but it’s really late???

Bruce: do you want popcorn

Dick, a ten year old: *shrugs* ok cool!

—

Dick: B I got into a fight today at school

Bruce: *shines a flashlight at Dick’s face*

Dick: I’m not hurt. They were teasing me for being a circus boy.

Bruce: did you win

Dick: …Sort of? Am I in trouble?

Bruce: *turns flashlight off and goes back to his case file* i can teach you some fighting techniques

Dick, a ten year old: *shrugs* ok cool!

—

Dick: We have parent day at school next week.

Bruce: hn

Dick: Um…the parents have to present what they do as a job. So I guess you can talk about your company. Just a five minute presentation.

Bruce: *vibrating, tearing up* presentation?

Dick: Alyssa’s mom made a PowerPoint.

Bruce: I can call you out and we will go to the zoo.

Dick, a ten year old: *shrugs* ok cool!

—

Dick: Bruce. >:-(

Bruce, hunched over, covered in grime:

Dick: You’re going to take me out on the next case with you.

Bruce:

Dick: *intense eye contact*

Bruce, shriveling up: okay but you need a costume

Dick, a ten year old: *shrugs* ok cool!

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I was teaching kids today and they got fixated on the usual ‘are they dead now?’ question when I was talking about historical figures. So I was just like ‘Yes, they’re dead now, everyone who was alive in the 1800s is dead now.’ and then one kid was like ‘Except for you’.

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the batman was exactly what I was hoping for which was an aesthetically dark film where the unhinged robert pattinson does a brilliant job capturing the essence of a reclusive rich orphaned weirdo who wears a bat suit to fight crime

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finding out bruce in The Batman is a zillenial caused me existential dread at first, but actually it's sooo funny. bruce wayne was on youtube watching bring me to life amvs of sasuke and shadow and going "they're just like me fr"

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Image description via @t4tchucky

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Gotham trip idea with a twist

After Hawkmoth is dealt with Alya wins a trip to Gotham, because Bruce hopes to learn more from her about the heroes and who they are (but that's not the official story). Lila convinces Bustier to not have Marinette come with them (although the class would have wanted her to join).

Marinette is fine with staying behind. She wants to stay with Adrien after his dad got outed as Hawkmoth. His aunt is also coming to Paris with Felix and she wants to make sure they are treating him well. Felix and she end up bonding over their disdain for Gabriel.

In Gotham the class sees a picture of the young Martha Wayne in a museum and realise that she looks eerily like Marinette. Jason (with them as a sort of bodyguard) overhears what they are saying and asks Alya to see a picture of Marinette. She shows him and he tells Tim, joking that Bruce might have another child out there. Tim, gloriously sleep deprived, doesn't get the joke and takes him serious. He starts researching and ends up flying to Paris to get DNA material for a paternity test and since he didn't tell anyone all hell breaks loose in Gotham.

Bio!Dad Bruce & Felinette with a dash of class sugar and I hope a bit of fluff and or humor