Last night I had a dream. Or maybe it was a nightmare.
In this sleep world, I was out & about when I ran into my ex; the love I left behind before dating my fiance. He wanted me back. He was begging for me to take him back. He was worse off without me. He looked vaguely homeless now, with long stragly hair partially combed over a heavily balding head, a beard that clearly hadn't been trimmed in months, and fingernails that looked like they'd been torn and chewed. The boy I left behind had been weathered by some storm. And though I'd once loved him, I felt only pity for him now.
When I left him 4 years ago, he was chasing his dream and had no room left in his life for me, though we had been together for 2 and a half years and he had asked me to run away and get married only weeks before. I left him so we could both get centered & find happiness. I didn't expect that 2 years later he would tell me before his parents that he was moving out of state for work. And I didn't expect that 4 months later I would see him at a bar when I was out celebrating my best friend's birthday because that move didn't work out for him. Nor did I expect to see him 8 month after that at a friend's wedding, still dating a girl he couldn't be loyal to. I pity the person he's become. It seems as though he still hasn't found room in his life for love and he's filing the hole with whatever he can find.