musingwriting

[musingwriting]

“It is very important to go out alone, to sit under a tree—not with a book, not with a companion, but by yourself—and observe the falling of a leaf, hear the lapping of the water, the fishermen’s song, watch the flight of a bird, and of your own thoughts as they chase each other across the space of your mind. If you are able to be alone and watch these things, then you will discover extraordinary riches which no government can tax, no human agency can corrupt, and which can never be destroyed.”

—

Jiddu Krishnamurti

[musingwriting]

There is something really put me off when I see people supposedly "doing good", not taking into account whether their intentions are genuine.

A flood is happening here and many people around me are triggered by environment and peer pressure to do "good" by donating, volunteering and such.

My refusal to do so were met with skepticism. Why are you so cold blooded? Don't you care about the suffering of others? Why have you no sympathy or speck of humanity?

Empathy, the ability to empathise and relate to others, is long gone in me. I couldn't find myself be bothered by these people who are miserable and suffering. I may laugh off your comments. But don't you forget empathy is build by trust in society. I don't trust society. I don't expect people to help if I am in the same shoe. I don't trust humanity.

If you want to go good, fine and go ahead. But you will not drag me into this with you. You will not make me a "bad person" for refusing to help. Your cynicism is contradictory to your do good intentions.

[musingwriting]

Because during those hours where my mind is buried in their trials and tribulations, I can forget about my own life.

- Why I read.

[musingwriting]

““I don’t think people understand how stressful it is to explain what’s going on in your head when you don’t even understand it yourself.””

—

[musingwriting]

Remember when I said this? So I played everyone's route and finally am playing Jumin and oh boyyyyyyy, he is on a wayyyyy different level. *fans self* *can't stop smiling at my phone* *internally screaming*

How can I start a new route now that I fell hard for Saeyoung..?

The only one who jolted my interest is his twin and I only have double digit HG.

Repeat: how to start a new route when I can't let go of Saeyoung..???!?

#mystic messenger #mysme #jumin #jumin route

[musingwriting]

This applies to me on Friday and Saturday nights.

[musingwriting]

Your whole world immediately become a cruel place when you can't trust the people around you to keep you sane anymore.

You find yourself deciding - almost immediately and too easily - that they are not worth your time, not worth your effort. Slowly one by one their numbers dwindled and in the end, you are all alone.

Which is how you came to this world anyway.

[musingwriting]

“All I do is search and not find. This is how I spend my nights.”

—Alejandra Pizarnik, from Extracting The Stone of Madness

[musingwriting]

😍

“self love is a long dance that you will routinely fall out of rhythm with, forget the steps to, and struggle to master, but darling, no one said practicing this dance would be easy.”

— iambrillyant

[musingwriting]

Saeyoung is so sad about Saeran appearing but I had to convince him to ditch his brother because I want another ending. 😭

Why am I so invested in this game's character I would never know...

#mystic messenger #mysme #saeyoung #saeran #saeyoung route #seven #seven route

[musingwriting]

there is a natural cycle of creativity, productivity, and rest. there is no one on the planet that can work straight through without rest. if you find yourself falling into long periods of what you perceive as laziness, i challenge you to reframe that as simply your need to rest, absorb, digest, as you prepare to work again, to create again. simply acknowledging your natural cycle will allow you to anticipate them so you can finally start working with yourself, not against.

[musingwriting]

Another difficult day of the year without you here.

#father's day

[musingwriting]

The most patient people are humans too. Don't be selfish and dump all your issues on them.

“even the most patient people get tired of understanding when you push them to their limit. even the most patient people get tired of listening when you push them to their limit. even the most patient people, get tired.”

— iambrillyant

[musingwriting]

How can I start a new route now that I fell hard for Saeyoung..?

The only one who jolted my interest is his twin and I only have double digit HG.

Repeat: how to start a new route when I can't let go of Saeyoung..???!?

#mystic messenger #mysme #saeyoung choi #mm saeyoung #saeyoung route #seven route #seven #jumin #zen #yoosung #jaehee

[musingwriting]

For years, ever since I lost Papa, I hate people who were happy.

Their smiles turned my saliva into bile.

Their laughter sounded ugly in my mind.

Even now, even as I thought I am better, for no reasons at all, I can just hate someone who shows their happiness. Hate them with all my might and wanting to hurt them really bad in return.

I am not exactly healed. I know.

But do I really want to be healed? So far, this exact feeling has given me a safe haven. I don't have to be hurt if I don't bring more people in my life. As long as the people most important to me are close to me and are safe and healthy, I couldn't care less about those outside my circle who wanted to come in. As long as I don't increase the people who could hurt me, I will suffer less hurt in return. It's a logical assumption. And one I am living in and am comfortable in.

Why do people always think they know me better and couldn't mind their own business? I know the way to care for myself. Can't they just left me be? They don't know the real me but they wanted to interfere with how I live my life. Such busybody.

If you are happy, fine. Just don't insist to bring me for the happy train ride just because. I will choose myself whether to board.

[musingwriting]

Day 9 of Seven's route and I just feel so frustrated and anxious and sad for him.

I know his feelings of closing up and pushing people away because I have done the exact same thing years ago, maybe even now still. I understand where he come from being angry at me for wanting to get close to him. He is as vulnerable as I felt. He is as lonely as I felt. And it's so weird now to be on the other side, knowing I have to be insistent to get close to him, becoming someone I used to despise.

I guess nobody fight just as hard for me then as I did for him now. If there are somebody who used to do that in my life, I'm sorry.. But I would still push you away.

Please let him have a happy ending at least.

#mystic messenger #msyme #seven route #seven #707 route #saeyoung choi #yoosung #jaehee #zen #jumin

[musingwriting]

Trying to get into Jumin route but all I'm getting is red hearts.

....

..

...

Seven, you better be ready for me.

#mystic messenger #msyme #jumin #seven #yoosung #jaehee #zen