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myautisticpov · 2 days ago
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Five years later, all of this is still true, but now I'm 27 and things are still going slow, probably because 2008 happened when I was thirteen, so autistic people my age, and within a decade of my age, aren't getting into positions of power without a lot of inherited connections and privilege because the ways into the arts for working class and lower middle class kids/young people got shut down
Which means that if you're from those backgrounds, you have to be the best of the best and "best of the best" usually means "not needing disability accommodations"
So, yeah, I know that the reaction to my assessment five years ago was optimistic, and while things are still getting better, it's much slower than it should be
(but also, I'm in the UK, so my assessment is mostly of the UK arts industries because that's what I'm closest to)
What is with "autism representation" that almost always focused on the "poor parents UwU" just show the actual autistic person you cowards. Even Big Bang Theory of all shows does it better than this Atypical things does.
I actually think this is a numbers game more than anything.
So, I’m 22. And while there are teen authors, most in the circles I’m in are older than me. The same can be said for any level of content creator. Whether they work in TV, film, online video, video games… Anyone in a lead writing role in narrative work is, statistically, likely to be older than me.
Why does this matter?
Because I was a prime candidate for an autism diagnosis as a child. I was referred to a speech therapist because I didn’t talk, and I had multiple health issues that I now know were autism related.
And yet, no one diagnosed me.
I had to pursue my own diagnosis at 19.
And diagnosis has only been getting better with time, so what are the odds of someone older getting diagnosed?
As I said, it’s a numbers game. Sure, autistic adults have always existed, but not recognised in the numbers we are today.
But diagnosis has gotten better for children.
I might not have gotten diagnosed at three, but a three year old just like me might have been ten years later, when I was still a teenager.
Which means that three years old’s parents would have been around to ask why their child doesn’t have representation when I was still writing bad Star Wars fanfic.
I have, just at random, encountered a lot of authors who write autistic characters and they are overwhelmingly parents of autistic kids.
And they write their own experiences, not ours.
The sad truth is that as long as the rates of diagnosis in children keep going up, we’re always going to be outnumbered by parents. While I and many of my autistic author peers are now writing our stories, the parents of those three years olds have twenty to thirty years of experience behind them compared to us. They already have a platform or are in showrunner/lead writer positions.
And while I have painted a picture here of unfortunate circumstance, that isn’t really their fault, the more insidious note to this story is that our narratives conflict with theirs. They have a vested interest in not letting us tell those stories, and they’ve had the time to get into the positions to silence us.
So, yeah, I don’t think they’re cowards. I think that the people involved are parents. Or are friends of parents. And that’s the experience that they’re going to share because it’s the one they want to share. They don’t want us to contradict their narrative and they have the cultural capital to make sure we don’t.
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myautisticpov · 4 days ago
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Queer culture is someone in the friend group coming out and starting a chain reaction until you realise 90% of the people you know are also queer
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myautisticpov · 4 days ago
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My skin issues aren't something I talk about super often on here (if I talked about all of my conditions all of the time, we'd be here all day) but if I ever get annoyed at people without skin conditions pushing a "no one ever needs to wear make-up to work" narrative or a "paying for expense skincare items isn't self-care" narrative, it's because the above picture was actually taken a while after my skin started to calm down and while this was caused by using cheap (but especially for sensitive skin!) face wipes, my face can get even redder and start flaking just because I haven't seen the sun in a while
Yes, I would love for society to stop caring (clearly I don't, or I wouldn't have posted the picture) but it does and if you just have dark circles under your eyes and the occasional spot, we are very much not on the same page!
(and actually, in terms of gender, I'm probably better off than men in my position because I *can* cover my face with make-up without being questioned - though then there are the murky waters of if I didn't have these issues with my face and scalp - which is much worse - I probably would present a lot more masc...)
My friends: why don't you make TikTok videos?
Me: because I can't be bothered to put make-up on on a day when I'm not leaving the house
Them: just use a filter!
Me: you're underestimating what my skin can get like under here, the filters get all confused
Them: it can't be that bad
Me, sans make-up, after making the mistake of wiping my face with a wipe for ultra-sensitive skin instead of plain water:
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[image description: a white woman with her hair tied back. The skin on their face is a very dark pink]
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myautisticpov · 5 days ago
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Hey, so, I should probably do my regular reminder that I write books with queer, neurodivergent protagonists and a lot of them are free.
Freya Snow is a YA/NA urban fantasy series about a bisexual autistic girl who finds out that she has magic and demons are after her.
The Royal Cleaner is a F/F urban fantasy romance series about a pansexual autistic woman who is in charge of keeping magic a secret.
The Aspects is a YA sci-fi series about a bisexual autistic girl in a world protected by people with emotion-based super-powers called Aspects who becomes the next Aspect of Love.
The Lady Ruth Constance Chapelstone Chronicles is a trilogy of steampunk novellas about an ace/aro autistic woman who builds an android husband to retain her freedom.
Ember Academy for Young Witches is a YA urban fantasy academy series about a lesbian girl with ADHD who discovers that she’s a witch and that someone is after her to study her unique magic.
Anyway, even if you’re not a reader, a reblog of this post would really be appreciated. There aren’t a lot of avenues for readers to find books with neurodiverse protagonists aside from people writing recommendation posts, and smaller authors like me often get missed off those, so reblogs on posts like this can go a long way to helping people find my work.
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myautisticpov · 5 days ago
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Reblogging this because I'll see the aforementioned middle-class professionals from industries I've worked in previously bitch on here about a new policy that makes me go "omg, that is genius, their boss has figured out how to force them to accommodate disabled people, people for whom English is not their first language, and make it easier for low-pay admin workers to work from home"
And I'll see disabled people reblogging like "aw, poor you, yes, your bosses are big meanies" and I'm just like No! Not poor them! Poor the disabled people who will have been complaining for years to get this implemented!!!
If there’s one thing working minimum wage admin jobs has taught me it’s that there are a lot of middle-class professionals who paint themselves as anti-establishment anarchists, fighting the system, but the face of the establishment is apparently the minimum wage admin workers, and the “system” they’re fighting are fucking accessibility or health and safety laws.
Like yes, dude, thanks for the lecture on how you refuse to type this document instead of writing it by hand because it’s just meaningless changes made by the establishment, I’m now going to spend my precious time typing it up for you so that it’s easier for disabled people to read. Is there any chance that you’re going to get that risk assessment to me soon, or is that meaningless busy work?
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myautisticpov · 6 days ago
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Me: it's time to get up
My brain: no executive function
Me: but I really need to pee...
Brain: tough shit
Me: *loading up music*
Brain: wai- what are you doing?
Me: *deep breath*
Me: jump out of bed, mix up a breakfast for my favourite pet snail
Brain, as I skip out of bed: you win this one Jonathan Coulton
Me, on a book deadline with pms, lingering COVID fatigue, and only 2 hours sleep: time for the nuclear option
Me: *loads up the SpongeBob SquarePants Musical cast recording*
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myautisticpov · 6 days ago
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Me, on a book deadline with pms, lingering COVID fatigue, and only 2 hours sleep: time for the nuclear option
Me: *loads up the SpongeBob SquarePants Musical cast recording*
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myautisticpov · 7 days ago
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Me: Lots of these apply to me, so it’s not real
The websites: That’s exactly what a nine would say
Me: Having a special ‘Divergent’ one is cheating
Laura Crone’s video on the Hulk being a Nine: ...
Me: Ah, fuck... (though I am still not ruling out that I’d have the same reaction if I watched the 5 and 6 videos...)
Hilarious to me when I come across a new personality test thing and one or two of the "types" are just "autism"
A few writers I've come across use the enneagram system for writing characters and I took a test and it was like "you're a five or six" and I'm reading the description for a five, like, babes, this is just autism (and having now skimmed six, I'm like, babes this is just autism with masking trauma)
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myautisticpov · 7 days ago
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Tbf, it said "you're a five, six or nine" and having read all of them, I've just come to the conclusion that this is all nonsense because, like, all of them apply equally
Like, you can be a people pleaser, an anxious mess, an obsessive academic, an optimistic dreamer, and want alone time all at the same time, it's called the anxiety, ADHD and autism combo
Hilarious to me when I come across a new personality test thing and one or two of the "types" are just "autism"
A few writers I've come across use the enneagram system for writing characters and I took a test and it was like "you're a five or six" and I'm reading the description for a five, like, babes, this is just autism (and having now skimmed six, I'm like, babes this is just autism with masking trauma)
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myautisticpov · 7 days ago
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Hilarious to me when I come across a new personality test thing and one or two of the "types" are just "autism"
A few writers I've come across use the enneagram system for writing characters and I took a test and it was like "you're a five or six" and I'm reading the description for a five, like, babes, this is just autism (and having now skimmed six, I'm like, babes this is just autism with masking trauma)
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myautisticpov · 7 days ago
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Hmm... Not sure how I'm feeling about the influx of social skills advice I'm seeing autistic Twitter accounts give out because some of it has absolutely backfired on me in the past
The specific stuff I'm talking about is advice like "if someone suggests you meet up for coffee, they're not being literal, just polite" and "you're expected to show up late to parties" and stuff
Because, in combination, by trying to stick to these rules, I have ended up coming across as very aloof and unapproachable over the years, and hurt friends by giving the impression that I didn't want to hang out with them
But I picked up these rules for a reason and there is a reason why they exist
But they're not set in stone and treating them as such can backfire
I would especially say to watch out for if you're making friends with other autistic people/ADHDers/autistic cousins (even if they don't know it) or people who aren't from the US/UK (which is where most of these rules apply)
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myautisticpov · 8 days ago
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Growing up autistic is wild bc I got so used to being excluded & rejected as a kid that now when new ppl like me & wanna hang out with me i legitimately don't know how to act 💀🤚🏼
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myautisticpov · 9 days ago
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One really annoying thing about anxiety is when someone mentions something that you might do off-hand, and then you look into it and decide that you’re better off not doing it, but then you’re like “oh no, what if I’m just intellectualizing an excuse to not do the thing because it just causes me anxiety”
Like if someone sees an advert for a concert and is like “oh, hey, you like that kind of music, don’t you?” so you look it up, and you don’t know any of the bands playing, so you listen to some of their music, and you don’t really like it, and it’s supposed to be crap weather, and the tickets are pretty expensive, and no one is interested in going with you, and your friends might be online for some gaming that night
So, you decide not to go
But then you’re like “but what if I would have actually had a nice time? What if I was just avoiding doing a thing that made me anxious that actually would have been great?”
When actually, no, no one would go to a concert on their own if they didn’t like any of the bands playing, that’s not anxiety, that’s just being sensible with your money/time
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myautisticpov · 9 days ago
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This blog will always be in support of people with subclinical or undefined disabilities.
As we see with the recent narrowing of the diagnosis of autism, as well as how the definition of EDS was narrowed, the diagnosis criteria for disabilities is not purely scientific, and often carries motivations that are closely tied to ableism. If someone is subclinical for a disability but is suffering from or limited by it, that will be respected here.
The second is more personally motivated. We never found out what my father's most disabling disability was, but by the end of his life, he couldn't be touched without experiencing pain. The fact that I can't put a name to his disability does not mean that he was not disabled.
Not knowing how to name your disability is isolating and frustrating. But here, you are part of the disabled community.
I hope that you get the care and accommodations that you need, even without a diagnosis to put force behind it.
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myautisticpov · 9 days ago
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I think for some people the problem is that they have only ever been able to find compassion for substance abuse through understanding it as a self-medication problem, and we don’t talk about the positive effects someone might be getting from nicotine
(I mean, we shouldn’t fucking have to, what people do with their own bodies is their own business and shouldn’t be fucking criminalised or judged as long as it’s not harming others, but busy-bodies are never going to be swayed by that argument)
Anyway, most of the people I know who struggle the most with giving up smoking have ADHD or have family members with ADHD (especially older people with grandkids with ADHD who are like “when I can’t sleep at night, I go outside and have a coffee and a tab and it sends me right back to sleep”)
And it’s something that you can see starting to happen with kids, even diagnosed and on meds, with vaping, because sometimes taking stimulants around your meds helps take the edge of the comedown off (after a full day in the open-plan office at work, I personally need two hours to recover from my meds wearing off and I find drinking coffee/Lucozade through the day can help)
And yeah, actually, thinking on it, I don’t think I know a single person who smokes/smoked more than just socially who didn’t probably have ADHD or had it run in the family - now, there is probably a selection bias because most of my friends are neurodivergent, but still...
The pushback against smoking is certainly good for society but a lot of y'all who claim to be progressive and compassionate vis a vis substance abuse have an unfortunate tendency to be real assholes about it.
Like, if you're coming at the problem with the assumption that quitting smoking is something you can "just do" and the problem is that smokers are just choosing not to, you have already lost the plot before you began.
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myautisticpov · 11 days ago
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[image descriptions: more Stardew spreadsheets]
Okay, so, for maximum gold earnings in Spring of Year 1 you want to plant kale and preserve it (rhubarb wine technically has the best profits, but you need to unlock the bus to the desert first, so that’s a Year 2 goal) and to go to the mountains to fish on sunny days and the town river to fish on rainy days
Is this information probably available somewhere else? Probably. But the information wasn’t the point, building the spreadsheet was...
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[image description: a screenshot of a Google Sheet titled Stardew Chaos with a bunch of colour-coded columns with tick boxes that detail each fish’s location, weather, time of day, and base selling price, while tables on the right calculate the average price of each fish at any given location/time/weather/season]
…I have become a parody of myself…
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myautisticpov · 11 days ago
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[image description: a screenshot of a Google Sheet titled Stardew Chaos with a bunch of colour-coded columns with tick boxes that detail each fish’s location, weather, time of day, and base selling price, while tables on the right calculate the average price of each fish at any given location/time/weather/season]
...I have become a parody of myself...
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