myweirddreamz

[myweirddreamz]

July 25th 2023

I had the most mind bending dream last night. I dreamed that I got fired unexpectedly from the library. They just sent me an email and didn't even tell me the reason. They were just like 'goodbye'. And I was so shocked that I just went home.

And then they needed somebody for the workroom so they posted the new job for it right away. So I applied for it again. And I got my job back but I wasn't sure if it was casual or perm, so I was upset about it and my confidence in the library was shaken.

And I didn't tell anybody about this at all until after I got rehired. And I was texting my coworkers about it in the group chat and we had hired somebody new called Barkley who was already in the group chat. So they were just seeing everyone's shocked reactions.

And all of this felt so realistic that when I woke up I was convinced that it had happened and had to spend several minutes carefully examining every aspect of the dream to decide whether or not it actually was a dream. But now that I remember the Barkley bit I know definitely for sure that it was a dream.

#dream #dream journal #stress dream #july 25th 2023

[myweirddreamz]

My brain wrote a full on Transformers fic last night.

Had a dream where somehow Jazz and Starscream become somewhat friends and then started having feelings for each other but were still trying to navigate the fact that they were on opposite sides of the war.

(Also one scene it was Ratchet not Jazz but 🤷‍♀️)

And Jazz grows sympathetic to how Megatron abuses Starscream and Starscream gradually lowers his arrogant mask he's developed.

Meanwhile the decepticons were getting up to something suspicious by restoring an old Cybertronian arena and Megatron's G1 plan was to capture a bunch of human leaders and hold a Cybertronian Olympics of sorts to show how superior they were? Something like that.

And Starscream slipped Jazz some info on the plans about capturing humans and sent Prowl a message that Jazz didn't get to read.

And on the day of the event Starscream is there with a human leader from the middle east but Megatron somehow found out Starscream had given autobots info so he says the games will start with something more traditional for a Cybertronian arena: an execution.

So Starscream gets a bomb strapped to him, with his human trapped inside his cockpit. And he flies away from the arena so he won't explode everyone and Jazz is frantically working with the human government that Megatron stole the bomb from (it's like a nuclear bomb) to counter the detonation.

But they don't have a cancel sequence and Jazz has to walk them through how to code that while listening to Starscream grow progressively more panicked over the comms as the bomb gets closer to going off.

And they don't do it in time and the bomb goes off and Jazz starts ranting in grief at the humans for not having an off sequence because "what kind of people don't have that?"

And they find Starscream's body curled around his human to (somehow) protect him so he survives.

And then my brain moved on, but then came back at the end of the dream to reveal that Starscream hadn't died but the whole thing was a set up helped by his message to Prowl so that Starscream could go undercover for a good while.

And at the end of the dream he comes back to Jazz who is still mourning him and feeling guilty he couldn't save him.

And Starscream apologies he couldn't break cover to let him know he survived but now his mission is over. And he's safe to leave the Decepticons.

And that's how the dream ended

#june 4th 2023

[myweirddreamz]

August 26th 2022

I had a bad dream last night and I think I need to write it out to process it.

First it started off good. It was a dream-version of the movie Lightyear. I haven't watched it yet but my brain made up the plot and everything for this space movie.

In it there was a group of about six teens who were the main characters. They were trained astronauts and the moon was more or less crashing to the Earth. Their job was to fix that.

While flying up to the moon they see Buzz Lightyear's ship on the moon and for some reason one of them lies about having seen it, and it becomes a 'he said she said' situation. The ultimate plot was about truth telling for some reason.

Then things take a darker turn. We learn why the guy lied about seeing the ship. I can't remember why exactly but it was trauma related. It turns out the every one of the six teens had all been through something deeply traumatic and the dream starts going through them one by one.

I can't remember all of them, but one person was raised by an abusive cult, and one person was raped as a child. So all of them had some form of ptsd or trauma.

Then the dream took a twist. The whole dream turns out to be a movie I'm watching with my cousins at my grandparent's house. We're watching it in the white room upstairs and something about the character's backstories triggers something in me.

Suddenly I remember that my uncle on my mom's side raped me as a child as well. I didn't remember it until then but I have vivid memories of it now.

It's a family gathering at my grandparent's house, so of course he's there. I'm older now but I'm struggling with the memories and realisation.

I have to go down for breakfast and he's there. Everything he does feels duplicitous now and I'm super uncomfortable now. I feel sick around him and nervous.

At some point in the dream I become partially aware that this is a dream, but my brain decides that it all must be real and that my uncle really did rape me and I didn't remember it until now.

I start having thoughts about being careful to remember this so I could deal with it when I wake up and my brain repeats the traumatic memories of me and the kids in the movie several times.

When I finally woke up I was disorientated and I wasn't sure for a few minutes whether I'd been raped or not. It felt very really and upsetting.

Now that I'm more awake I know it was all a dream and I don't actually have memories of my uncle raping me. But the whole experience was very unsettling.

#dream #dream journal #trigger warning #rape #child abuse #sexual assault #underage #trauma #child sexual abuse #incest

[myweirddreamz]

Aug 13th 2021

Okay, so the dream starts with me and my family, and we are camping/vacationing in this kind of museum building that is simultaneously a Jewish school of some sort.

We get shown through and we see a lot of school pupils with their books and stuff. We are told this is a really prestigious school.

The trip is really long, and we are staying in this open air set of rooms. We go out to explore the museum with guides and meet the neighbors. They live really far away and we have to walk the whole way, looking at flowers and such as we go.

Then things start getting stressful. The neighbour dinner party goes badly, (I can't remember why anymore) and I think we argue with them. We leave and head back.

Throughout this whole trip, mom has been on my sister T's case.

In real life, T had been chewing her toenails, and mom always tells her off so rudely. She could say it more kindly.

Anyway, for some reason, in this dream, she starts calling T a slut because of this habit. My sister M and I are super uncomfortable, since her verbal abuse has been getting worse over the course of the trip.

Nobody else does anything and I finally snap, telling her that calling T that is not acceptable, and cruel.

Mom is super offended that I stood to to her, and she turns on me. I kind of blow up and rant about how she always does this and she always puts people down.

She's super pissed, and she starts to try to hit me. The hits barely land, partially because I move out of the way, and also seemingly because she is mocking me--not hitting hard enough to do damage, but still hitting and seeing what I will do.

This makes me furious, because it reminds me of an incident in real life. Back then, we had been arguing too. I don't remember what it was about anymore, but I remember she actually slapped me.

I think she tried to stop herself at the last minute, so I don't remember it hurting a lot, but it was a shock, and she never really apologized or addressed it.

I still remember it though, and the fact that it happened when I actually tried to argue with her and put my foot down. Now I don't really argue with her or put up a big fight.

So I bring this up in the dream, about how she hit me back then when I refused to back down, and she is doing it now too. That makes her angry too, and she keeps coming at me and I keep trying to block her. Meanwhile, the whole family is just kind of, there, in the next room.

I don't remember what happens next, but the dream ends when we prepare to leave the museum/camp, and I can't find my shoe. I have one, and I hunt around the whole place, and can't find the other one. And mom is her usual condescending but non-violent self again as we look.

#dream journal #dream #tw abuse #tw verbal assault #tw physical violence #tw child abuse #august 13th 2021

[myweirddreamz]

Oh my goodness.

So I just remembered the weirdest stress dream I had last night. In my dream, my house was invaded by aggressive giraffes that, if they caught you, would suck your soul out of your face, and we all lived in perpetual fear in our rooms while the giraffes stalked our house

Like, what???

[myweirddreamz]

June 7th 2021

I dreamed I wrote 6000 words for a new chapter in my story. This is significant because I haven't written that much for several weeks, but yesterday I managed to write 400 word.

#dream #dream journal #june 7th 2021

[myweirddreamz]

May 29th 2021

I dreamed that IT at work answered the email I sent them and asked me when the problem had started.

When I opened my email this morning, they had not, in fact, done this.

#dream #dream journal #may 29th 2021

[myweirddreamz]

May 19th 2021

I dreamed I was looking through screenshots on my phone. I looked at the time and realised it said 8:18, and I was eight minutes late for my 8:10 covid vaccination.

I rush to get my sister ready to leave the house, before I realise the time I had been looking at was the time from one of the screenshots, and the real time on my phone meant we weren't late.

#dream #dream journal #may 19th 2021 #covid mention #vaccination

[myweirddreamz]

May 15th 2021

I dreamed someone took my pickle jar and replaced the brine the pickles were in with water. This made the pickles significantly less flavourful.

#dream #dream journal #may 15 2021

[myweirddreamz]

May 14th 2021

I remember bits and pieces.

I dreamed my neighbour gave us a kitten.

Also at one point I was outside my house at night trying to avoid search spotlights that were trying to find me. I can't remember why I was being searched for, but I could hear a voiceover narrate as they looked for me. I think maybe the kitten ran outside and I had to look for it, but there was a curfew.

Later I was at this big wooden table with my family and I think we were trying to sew something? I remember needles were involved and we had to clean them up so that we wouldn't step on them.

#dream #dream journal #may 14 2021

[myweirddreamz]

May 13th 2021

I had an Avatar the last airbender dream. It was pretty short, but in this dream, Zuko still spoke out against his father, and I think he was going to be banished, but his father hadn't burned him publically.

Azula was in Zuko's room checking on him (and she was actually worried), when Ozai came in. This was the point where he was going to burn Zuko, in his sleep.

Azula actually fought back against Ozai, and because she is a prodigy, she was able to hold him off for a few minutes, but because she is still a child, she knew she couldn't for long.

So instead she formed a new plan. She rushed to Zuko's bed and used her nails to carve characters down the middle of his forehead. (I think they were Japanese characters and not Chinese since I know Japanese.)

Somehow Zuko doesn't wake up for this. What Azula wrote basically called him the Sun Lord. The characters claimed Zuko as heir, so that Ozai couldn't banish and disown him.

The last step was making sure it would scar so that everyone would see it and Ozai couldn't hide it, so while Ozai was swooping in to grab her, Azula carefully burned the characters into Zuko's face.

So in this dream, Zuko still got horrifically scarred, but as protection by Azula.

#dream #dream journal #avatar the last airbender #atla #child abuse mention #burn mention tw #scarring #violence #azula #zuko

[myweirddreamz]

May 12th 2021

I dreamed I was in some kind of Hunger Games arena. (Probably cuz I'm reading the book right now.) Instead of two tributes, there were three from my district, two boys, and me the girl.

I think I had to decide which boy to kill.

I don't remember much else.

#dream #dream journal #may 12th 2021 #killing mention #hunger games

[myweirddreamz]

May 11th 2021

I remember the beginning of the dream in bits an pieces. At one point I was at church (but i think not doing church?) And later I was at my house, having to get ready for something.

My hair was long again and I remember the annoying feel of it against my neck. I was looking for something to tie it back with but my sister was using the hair tie I wanted in a game she was playing. I had to convince her to give it to me.

Later the dream changed. I was part of a largely Black community. There was a woman there, and I forget why, but something she could do or had done was really important.

She was sick though, and we were trying to get the doctor to help her. The doctor was not confident though, and he was looking to this other guy for advice.

I remember the guy was rich, and for some reason he didn't want the girl to get better. Whatever she could do or knew or something would be bad for him.

So he was giving the doctor bad advice to try to make it so she wouldn't get better. We kind of noticed this as a community and she was able to get better anyway.

We had a big meeting to discuss this guy's behaviour, but he was there too. And we learned he had tried one final thing. The girl had a cut on her eyebrow and he had infected her with an illness that spread super fast.

Luckily it wasn't deadly. All it did was cause little red dots to pop up all over your body that itched. I guess kind of like chicken pox, but they looked more like pimples.

This disease was super contagious though, and it spread to all of us almost instantly. Including to the evil guy. (So we kind of questioned his planning skills.)

We knew we needed to quarantine so we wouldn't spread this disease, but we had to travel to the quarantine spot.

The group demographic slowly started changing as we travelled, and some of the new people frustratingly didn't want to quarantine properly.

The evil guy kept trying to escape, but we couldn't let him or he'd spread the disease. He was easy to find though because he dressed like the onceler from the Lorax.

We finally got to the quarantine spot, and for some reason it was my grandparents house. They took having a dozen new guests in stride, and my grandpa started prepping dinner.

The house didn't actually match their real life house, and while he was cooking, I was trying to find 12 plates to feed everyone. We only had a few good plates, and the rest looked the same, but were paper.

Grandpa was apparently a professional chef, and as I looked for plates, he narrated himself as he roasted potatoes in a pan, and then started grilling meat on top of them. They would go on top of half a roasted cabbage, onto which he had melted a slice of white cheese.

#dream #dream journal #may 11th 2021

[myweirddreamz]

May 10th 2021

At first I dreamed that I was going to band class in high school. I hadn't been allowed to go for a long time because of covid, but apparently now it was safe to go.

When we got quarantined, it was so fast that we left all of our instruments at the school, and they were waiting for us in our usual spots on the band room. I remember being worried my flute needed to be cleaned after being neglected for so long.

In my dream I was surprised I was allowed in band, because I graduated high school already. I was excited though because there was actually something I wanted to ask my band teacher.

In real life, there is a song we played in band that I really liked, but I can't find on google or youtube. I've mused about asking him for it, and in my dream I spent a lot of time searching for it.

While I was searching I found the music from students from years ago, and for some reason the music folder from my ex-friend R was there. She didn't actually go to high school with me, but when I looked up from the music, she was sitting in the band chairs and had a seat saved for me. I remember she looked different, her eyes were too big, and the wrong colour.

I didn't want to sit with her, and thankfully already had a seat of my own away from her.

Later, I was finally able to ask my band teacher about the music I wanted, and explain why I wanted it.

He recognised it right away and gave me the sheet music. I was super happy, and the dream shifted gears.

I remember I had to visit R's apartment. In the dream she had just moved into a new place with her girlfriend. It was small but modern looking. At first it had three floors and she rented it with a third person, but later it charged and only had two floors, and it was just her and her girlfriend.

I don't remember why I had to visit her apartment, but I know someone drove me there and waited outside while I went in.

I think I had to visit her more than once in the dream. Every time she was smiling and trying to be friendly. This surprised me since I expected her to be mad at me for ending our friendship. It was uncomfortable because I didn't want to reciprocate anything and risk being friends again. She was very toxic in real life, and I wanted to stay away.

Her girlfriend disliked me more, and hadn't quite forgiven me for ending the friendship, but she was keeping quiet about it for R's sake.

In the dream she apparently made bamboo bows (for archery) and as a token of tolerance she gave me one. This of course surprised me.

On my second visit, she gave me another one (the bamboo shoots were still green, and instead of being made of one long piece of bamboo, it was made of multiple shorter pieces tied together.)

I asked her why she kept giving me things and grudgingly trying to be nice, and she burst out with "because my girlfriend keeps trying to choose you too!"

In the moment R realised how hard her trying to reconnect with me was on her girlfriend. She realised her girlfriend didn't like me, and that trying to become friends with me again was hurting her.

I was not upset by any of this because I didn't want to be friends with R anyways.

Before I left the apartment, I was fiddling with the radio and heard a 'new' Taylor Swift song. I think it was called "Drops of rain" or something. It sounded like a pop version of an Enya song I know.

I finally left the apartment. I still had the bow with me, but I knew somehow that I probably wouldn't have to go back to R for a while. She knew now how her girlfriend felt about her choosing me over her, and I thought that she would stay away from me for a while.

This was relieving and I explained it all to the person who had driven me. I can't really remember who the driver was anymore, but part of me thinks it was Loki.

#dream #dream journal #covid mention #toxic friend mention #may 10th 2021

[myweirddreamz]

May 9th 2021

I dreamed I was at church, and I had to help one of the kids go to the bathroom. The bathroom was crowded. It had two sinks, then two stalls, the another sink for some reason, with a stall right next to it, and then a disabled stall.

I also dreamed my city's bus drivers were protesting lowered pay. And all the passengers gathered to support them.

#dream #dream journal #may 9th 2021 #church mention

[myweirddreamz]

May 8th 2021

I dreamed I was in some kind of hotel with my mom. There was a large pool we could go to. While we were in the pool, another group of people came, and we decided to let them join.

We wanted to play some kind of competitive game. For this game, everybody needed at least one hair elastic. I had four to share. Several families from church where there, and also my youngest cousin, and my elementary vice principle.

I think the goal of the game was trying to hit the other team with your elastic band.

#dream #dream journal #may 8th 2021

[myweirddreamz]

May 7th 2021

I can't remember much of this dream anymore, but I do know I dreamed that I was Jewish, and I remember my mom was preparing our passover meal (but it was also kind of a mix of our Easter one).

#dream #dream journal #jewdaism #may 7th 2021 #passover