Hey guys! I’m asking for just a little bit of inspiration if y'all happen to think of something. I so rarely get ideas for Satan, Asmo, Belphie, and the angels. If y'all have an idea for one of them that you’d like to see me write, I’d gladly give it a shot! I’ll let you know if your request isn’t quite my cup of tea.
Thanks in advance!
(these arent really requests, little thoughts i had of them 💐🥳)
asmo and belphagor definitely have matching strawberry cow onesies because they saw it on social media
simeon decides luke’s outfits for him, luke compares simeon to a grandfather and Solomon thinks its the funniest thing ever
luke absolutely despises when he has to hang out with solomon because solomon makes fun of him more than lucifer does
satan and belphagor pranking lucifer and getting hung from the ceiling, BUT IN ADVANCED PLANNED HOW THEY’D GET DOWN
belphagor or asmo secretly gave luke stuffed animals- not sure why i think this, but its probably too small to hug so they just passed it on
GET OFF MY FUCKING PAGE IF YOU ARE PANPHOBIC
Solomon, throwing bread at ducks: Do not forget this act of altruism. If I am ever in trouble I expect you and your brethren to come to my aid. Do Not Forget-
Plot twist, they were actually geese. Solomon is the leader of the Hjönkening.
Solomon collecting a fucking geese army is haunting me, what a chilling war that would be
In case the event alone wasn’t enough…
ASMO CALLED HIMSELF A SNACK THIS IS GOLD
Quick request... what do u think the brothers would have been like as kids 🤔
We kinda know about what mammon was like but what about the others?
Though I personally believe none of them were ever kids in their lives, I shall write this with ☆°.•pleasure•.°☆
Warning: lots of uncensored swearing
posting a tiktok here bc she really said it all!!!
Just MC and Mammon 💕
I don’t even have to edit the video, the guy’s hand looks like Mammon’s already 🤣
im simping over the girl in the video and the guy’s literal hands, the duality
Hot Topic has the audacity to sell these. I could see these belonging to the Croc Club
Edit: Why the fuck are they called clogs? And why do I want to impulse buy them so I can laugh every time I see them?
THIS IS DISGUSTING
Ways to get Jehovah’s Witnesses to fuck off (as written by a former Jehovah’s Witness)
- Ask to be put on the Do Not Call list. If you think it’s necessary, ask to watch them get out the territory card and write it down, but realistically, Witnesses in my experience are pretty good about this and the only time it won’t be honored is if someone forgets to check your address or if it’s been like 10+ years
- Tell them you are an apostate. They are not allowed to speak to apostates at all, ever, but especially in regards to their beliefs. They aren’t supposed to go to places/events where they know apostates will be
- Argue with them. Jehovah’s Witnesses are instructed to end the conversation and leave if it becomes clear that someone wants to debate rather than just passively learn and accept that they were wrong before. This might get you put on the DNC list without even asking
- DO NOT answer the door naked. You wouldn’t think this needs said, but intentionally flashing people is sexual harassment, and Jehovah’s Witnesses frequently preach with children— both as a training thing and because people are more likely to be receptive. They say every JW who’s preached long-term has gotten a naked householder at least once. Do not do this
- DO NOT unleash your dogs in the yard. First off, your dogs aren’t as mean as you think they are lol. Second off, almost every JW has been dealing with giant jumpy dogs— again— since they were children. Letting loose your dogs will get their dress clothes muddy, possibly tear them, and maybe scare some children/a few adults who will simply pass the door to someone else. It will also make every other dog in the neighborhood start barking. This isn’t helping you or anyone else
- DO NOT call the police. Evangelizing is fully legal in the United States and JWs are not soliciting anything. Some areas make Witnesses get permits to preach, but that’s it. One time an elder in my congregation had people raise their hands if they’ve ever had the cops called on them, and it was two thirds of the Hall. Witnesses use these incidents to further their persecution complex. If you call the cops on them, they will absolutely be back next week, even pushier and more determined
- Remember that you are dealing with a high-control cult. Jehovah’s Witnesses have falsely prophesied the end of the world almost a dozen times. Around 33,000+ members have died for the sake of a doctrine they made up in the 60s. Whoever you are talking to has trained for years or possibly their entire lives on exactly how to sell this, and make literally anything sound reasonable and appealing. Jehovah’s Witnesses believe that God will kill all non-JWs at Armageddon, as they deserve, and are actively praying for this. They won’t tell you that on the first visit, or the second, or the third. Don’t let them get their foot in the door. Don’t talk to them more than once
- The Jehovah’s Witness you are dealing with will have a mindset ranging from “every door I don’t knock on is blood on my hands” to “I’m trapped in this religion and can’t leave, please please please don’t listen to me,” or sometimes a horrible mix of both. Don’t show interest, do your research and stay away
As a victim of the cult please please please signal boost this. Make sure it gets over 100,000 note, Normally I have dni standards but I want everyone to reblog this. No one deserves to be preyed upon by the JW org.
Also to people who are tempted to call the police on the JW’s. There’s been quite a few videos that have proven the governing body have friends in the court system. They’ve been sued many times,.and during the Montana case they managed to keep breaking court rules without being held in contempt of court. That to me suggests that they must have friends within the court who are letting them do this.
This cult know how to extort people into holding off on finally labeling the cult as a hate group globally. They couldn’t stop Russia from doing that but the governing body is still trying to stop other governments from doing the same. Not only is it a high control cult when it comes to silencing and demonizing its victims who’ve left. But its a high control cult that’s learned how to become mostly above the law. Also if anyone is curious to know more about what this cult teaches fee free to ask me too.
I’ve been a JW cult victim since I was 22. I was 22 when I woke up to the reality that it was a cult. It was the only perspective I had on life for a long time until I turned 18 and began to try to mentally become more independent. I have a lot of info on how dangerous the cult is. I’ve told some of my other mutuals about how dangerous it is.
But not all of my followers and mutuals know yet. So feel free to ask away. I don’t want any of you to be manipulated by this cult. (This cult also has real pedos in it so if you’re a minor would not suggest you try to go out of your wa to confront adult JW’s. For the sake of your safety.)
Anything to suck Mammon's toes 🤩🤩
(ALL PLATONIC I MUST ADD)
lmao ain’t that the guy from star wars?
There’s so much going on here I don’t know what I’m supposed to focus on
Hit that mf like
Oboe is a curse in and of itself
f f f fuck
It’s literally the national anthem
A key change in the 7th measure if you count 🅱️ as an Ab
i dont know ANYTHING about reading sheet music but PINK. CROCS.
Guys I love Mammon and all but can we get content thats not Mammon- I wanna see Beel and Asmo content but gawdDAMN 😭✋
imagine if belphie, when attacking MC, was beaten the fuck up in response?
like belphie is about to attack MC and they just beat the breaks off him lmfao. mc never gets attacked, never gets killed by belphie. but belphie gets that ass beat by a human LOOOOOL
NO BUT THATS ACTUALLY SO FUNNY I WONT LET ANYONE TELL ME OTHERWISE
“Humans are so foolish and dumb, I can’t believe you fell for i-”
muriel is so fucking done with being the main character I–
WHAT BOOK WOULD HAVE AN MC LIKE THIS WHO DOES THE BARE MINIMUM AND IS LIKE “yup nope im done not doin’ this anymore”
okay okay but a thought:
gen z luke and solomon
Satan: SHUT UP I’LL PISS IN YOUR SHOES
Asmo, his partner in crime: *SHARTS CUTELY* DIE
Simeon: Repent now for your sins, know that Jesus loves you!
Asmo: If Jesus loves me tell him rail me right now 😜😋
Belphagor: If Jesus loves me then why mental illness??? 🧐😵
Mammon: we should rob a bank
MC: we should rob a casino
Luke, playing roblox: I have canser, stop makeing fun of me
Levi: What canser?
Belphagor: What type of cancer do you have?
Belphagor and Levi: HAHAHAHASGDGDG
Mammon: What the FUCK is a cauliflower?
MC, looking at Diavolo: damn I wish I had tiddies like you
Asmodeus: what if I just-
Asmodeus: Babygorl 😩 you lost? 😏
Solomon: I’m kinda turned on wait-
Belphagor: technically… if my entire life is just something I made up in my head, you’re the best thing I could’ve imagined
MC: wait wtf are you okay
Belphagor: Yeah just questionin’ my existence
Little D No. 2: PAPA PAPA PAPA PAPA PAPA
Mammon: STOP IM NOT YOUR PAPA
Little D No. 2: BUT YOU HAVE SUCH PAPI MATERIAL
Mammon: S T O P
Satan: Stop stealing the chicken from the pot!
Beel: I didn’t steal it
Satan: YOU ARE EATING IT RIGHT NOW.
*While analyzing Frankenstein*
Asmodeus: Okay, so basically, they killed him because he was ugly?
Lucifer: I mean, kind of–
Solomon: Who even likes men with hair anymore, bald men supremacy
Solomon: man I’m in love with pitbull
Levi: Why are you laughing?
Beel: *points to program on TV*
Levi: oh ROFLLL
Levi: wait did you show me that to- STOP GIVE ME THE CHOCOLATE BACK1
Mammon: Whenever me and Lucifer go shopping I’m sure to ask him for the change
Mammon: I’ve collected 24 dollars from this
Levi, talking to MC: bro, what if we went ghost hunting like on Buzzfeed Unsolved?
MC: I guarantee you that if they ate my soul they would throw it back up
Mammon, trying to wake Belphie up: you have school today, get up
Belphie: It’s Sunday
Mammon: No it’s not, get up
Belphie: I don’t have school today
Mammon: Yes you do