netsumu

[netsumu]

warnings: fem!reader, tsum loves his gf (you), never tell atsumu i wrote this about him, cutesy<3

atsumu miya who hates it when people say to you “oh you’re atsumu’s girlfriend!” or refer to you as just “atsumu’s girlfriend” instead of your name.

atsumu miya who thinks you’re the best thing to ever happen to him, so if he’s around to hear it he always takes over the conversation.

“actually, i’m ‘er boyfriend.” atsumu gave girl in front of you a sickeningly fake smile. he didn’t miss the confused look on their face as they processed what he said. “isn’t that the same thing?” atsumu loved when they asked that question, because then he got to talk about his favorite thing: you. “nah,” he shook his head, glancing quickly between you and the poor strange that did this to herself. “she deserves to be known fer more than jus’ bein’ m’girlfriend. but ‘m just some dude she puts up with.” atsumu knew he was underselling himself (and you thought he was overselling you), but still meant every word he said. “could lose m’entire career tomorrow ‘nd i wouldn’t care s’long as she’s still there.” atsumu beamed now, a real smile. he didn’t care about the way the girl just mumbled an “okay?” before walking away, but he did care about the look on your face right after. “do you have to do that every time someone calls me your girlfriend?” you frown, grabbing onto his hand that he so kindly held out for you. “doesn’t it get tiring to tell people all that?” “could never get tired of talkin’ ‘bout ya.” atsumu leaned in to dramatically kiss you on the cheek, laughing as your shove him away. “could listen to yer laugh forever.” “shut up.”

atsumu miya who, at the end of the day, doesn’t really care who’s know for what — he’s just happy he gets to have you by his side.

[netsumu]

beefy men

#sakusa x reader

[netsumu]

100 days.

it has been exactly 100 days.

100 days without your voice, 100 days without your touch, 100 days without your warmth, 100 days without your love, 100 days without you.

honestly speaking, i don't know if i want to turn back time and do things differently. if i had pray harder, would you stay? would god let you stay?

but in those 100 days, i have found warmth and love from the people around me. they certainly can never replace yours but it kept me going. it was like a tiny spark that lit up a new fire within me.

those 100 days taught me more than my entire years of living, and it made me love you a little bit more.

life can only be lived once it tastes all the flavors of death

the fear of not loving someone enough overpowers the fear of being too much

things do happen to you for a reason

life will never go back to how it used to be, you just build a new normal

joy and grief can go hand in hand

grief never goes away and the world does not stop, but you can stop

there are some things that death can never touch

people feel grief differently, but we all feel it

grief is the price we pay for love, and i would pay for it

life is too short to not love

i wish i could spend these 100 days with you. by the time i get to your age, i hope i can present this list to the people i love. so that they know, i have been loved

[netsumu]

grief.

if you find the talk about grief as something repetitive, i hope you can take a second out of that thought to think about those experiencing it.

and just like everyone else, i used to think the same way. i always thought you would never leave, i never had that fear in me like our relatives because i truly believed you were strong enough to shoulder the burden.

i failed to realize you were already sinking with it, finally accepting it as a part of you and even letting your body become home to it.

i was never afraid of death, forgetting the fact that the statement, that lack of fear only applied to my death and not to anyone else's.

but it happened, and there was nothing i could do about it. all i can do is cry, regret, deny, remember, and repeat.

cry.

you have made the strongest walls break. it was the first time in my life, i have saw my father pathetically joke in attempt to cure his heart. the heart that deep down knows that one day you will leave and it seems to be soon.

i have never seen your son wail so horribly, longing for you to hold him once more. it was a sight i never want to see.

and i never imagined myself to cry this bad. i thought that by a month, i will get stronger. but i was wrong, it has been over a month and all i learned was how to create a better facade.

i learned that you somewhat became a taboo conversation. i hate bringing you up because i know the dam we built will break once more. i wished i could be silent about it, but this was the first time i felt so lonely to the point where i want to be loud.

regret.

i'm sorry. i'm sorry that i have only noticed how dependent i have been to you after you passed. i'm sorry that the only time i brought you flowers was when you laid lifeless before me.

i wish you were still here. even whilst doing mundane activities, i still act as if you exist although quietly. i wonder what it would be like if you were still here during lazy sunday mornings. would you have woke me up or would you have cooked for me?

and then the guilt hits harder than a bullet. it comes swiftly like the wind into my hollow heart, and leaves a stain that i do not know how to erase.

but i don't think i ever want to erase the stain. i don't think i ever want to shoo away this feeling because this is all i have of you. this is all the love i couldn't express and all the love you deserved.

deny.

this is the worst part. the part i despise the most because it makes me feel so childish and immature. yes, this part lets me dream and hope and wish, but this part erases all rationality i have.

it feels like clinging onto a drug, an unhealthy addiction. it feels like shying away from medicine, so bitter and untasteful, even though i know it's good for me.

now i realized why this is the first stage of grief. because it traps you in the cycle, it's what keeps you going when you ruminate. and i hate how my heart (and brain) still thinks of you as a breathing human to this day. it's as if you're just on a long trip far away to cure this disease.

funny enough, i never once blamed this disease. i thought anger would spur but denial came instead, the one i least expected. perhaps because it was easier for me to create a happy life you exist compared to acknowledging the pain of your death and releasing it in the form of anger.

remember.

i hated myself for slowly forgetting. i forgot what your warmth felt like, what you sound like, and what you look like. it has become a distorted image, filled with splashes of paint (my attempt of trying to bring you back to life in my memory).

regardless, i am happy i still remembered what you made me feel. i remembered what you said and did. i hang on to that sliver of memory, perhaps too tight because i scramble panically when i slowly forget.

sleepless nights are a norm because i try so hard to remember when my days are so cramped i forget to mourn you. would you hate me if i forgot? would you hate me if i was happy?

and every once in a while, reality slaps me in the face, reminding me that you are no longer alive. in those times, i remember your last moments because i was there. i was there when your brothers prayed so hard and the room was silent. i was there when the doctors came and when the churches, too.

it felt like i was the only one that held the secret key. but it was now a burden, one that kept reminding me that you are 6 feet below me and no longer breathing, reminding me that you are dead.

repeat.

"life can only be lived once it tastes all the flavors of death"

that was a quote i made long ago, when you are still asleep on your bed and not in the casket. regardless of your existence physically, you will always leave an aftertaste in my mouth. i call it grief, but i know it has been love all along.

#grief

[netsumu]

my love turns to anger. it rushes like blood and spills on my tongue. my sword have slained countless enemies that all i remember is how to suffocate a life to death.

i envy those who love. the sweet ones that taste like honey, the ones people protect. i can assure you, i have tried to be like one. but my brain was wired to do one thing, fight.

the scars tells my story and the sword holds my name. i am your shield and armor, i am the blade you carry. but when i rust and when i break, when i dent and when i ache, who do i go to.

who will fight for me?

who will stand in the frontlines when i cannot

i am a soldier with a furious heart. i was made for love but i was never taught how to love. passion is who i am but people fear the person i can't control.

they seek me for protection but cower in fear when i profess my undying love. it is never hard for me to fight my battles, to love the war.

so why is it so hard for you to love me?

[netsumu]

atlantis

when i leave, return me to the ocean

the blue hues were the core of my body

it lives through my veins

and i can still remember how the siren began

drunk on the saltwater, stuck on the seabed

there was only me, and the ocean

a place where the waters are cold and sunlight is a mirage

my flesh finds comfort within the corals and the coastals

it was a solitary bliss, a never-ending wave of hope

the ocean depths could not go any deeper

let me stay under the waters,

let the shores speak of my story

though death feels more serene

and the thought of hell feels more like endorphins,

don't leave me with half a heart that still craves for life

don't leave me with half a soul that still craves for love

[netsumu]

this is a story i would only entrust to the owner of my heart, you.

you have not a heart of gold, nor a heart of steel. you have the heart of an ocean, so gentle and filled with the earth's love.

you have turbulences but i would gladly swim across just to be within your love. you are wide and you do not belong to me.

i can never call you mine, and i might not love you the way you wished to be loved. in the meantime, i will protect you until they come.

i will protect you until the one that you'd gladly follow exists within us. i will protect you until they can love you the way you wished to be love.

there was never hope for us, for me. i knew that but the heart can never deny what it wishes for. and i wish for you. so please, give me closure and let me swim within your remaining love.

though if you decided then erasing me from your life was the best decision, i could never do the same. for you are the muse of my paintings, the one i think of when they say love. you are the ocean, my one true love.

[netsumu]

i have no need for one who kisses my scars, i need one who would kiss my wounds with band-aid

[netsumu]

writing masterlist

indonesia;

page 1

english;

page 1

page 2

page 3

[netsumu]

it has been years since i last remembered your smile. i thought it was long lost, swept into the depths of the ocean. the memories have long faded, now lost together with the stars.

but when i saw your gleaming eyes and felt your warm fingertips, i was once more reminded of the reasons i fell in love with you. it wasn't a sweet glimpse, it was a long bittersweet trip down memory lane.

my heart melted and you had me within your hold again. i don't think i'll escape and neither will i do so willingly. all i can do is stare outside the windows of your hearts, envious of how people could love so freely.

[netsumu]

you are the star of a show i call love

[netsumu]

and i will plant kisses across your lovely face when the moon rises

then you will leave when the sun wakes up, knowing that you couldn't do the same to me

[netsumu]

gonna change my divider

[netsumu]

aku selalu mimpi akan suatu kisah dimana hati kita saling terikat. aku merenungkan dirimu tetapi sampai sekarang, aku tidak tahu apakah aku menginginkan lebih darimu atau tidak.

hatiku ingin berbicara denganmu, ia ingin berkenalan denganmu. namun, otakku mengetahui bahwa kita bukan milik sesama. hatimu berada di orang lain dan milikku pun sama.

walaupun begitu, satu bagian dari jiwaku selalu mencari dirimu di setiap orang yang kutemui. dari antara semua orang yang telah aku cintai, kamu tidak membekas dan mungkin itulah yang membuatku mengingingkanmu.

kamu tidak merusak hatiku yang mungil dan kamu tidak membasahi pipiku dengan tangisan. kamu begitu tenang bagaikan laut, sesuatu yang sangat kubutuhkan.

sepertinya cuplikan hatiku ini tidak akan pernah kamu ketahui, tetapi teruslah berada di sisiku. jangan kamu pergi dan tinggalkanku dengan sepotong jiwa yang mengininginkanmu.

[netsumu]

1. okay wait the thing is i think both me and atsumu doesn't mind telling the waiter if they got the order wrong but atsumu definitely does it often bcs i just dont pay attention to food :(

2. atsumu wakes up earlier for his morning run but i make the morning coffee while waiting for him to come back home. that's it.

3. neither of us gets it. i'm too disgusted by spiders and atsumu is scared of them, even if he wouldn't admit it. so, we just call osamu for help after atsumu pretends to get it away so i wouldn't notice his fear

4. i will be definitely pushing the cart bcs i like to tidy the shit inside them yk? atsumu just wanders off to get the things we need and he'll just walk off with a pout if i tell him we couldn't buy something he wants

5. look i'm the mom friend, so i'm definitely planning the vacation out with the whole itinerary and stuff like that. atsumu goes with the flow because he's just clueless and he knows i like being in control of sonething :(

random self ship questions ☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

i love self ships and wanna get to know yours better :>

1. who in your self ship tells the waiter your order was wrong?

2. who makes the coffee in the morning?

3. there’s a giant spider in the room, who gets rid of it?

4. who pushes the cart and who grabs the items at the grocery store?

5. who plans the vacation and who goes with the flow?

me and shoyo’s answers under the cut

no pressure tags: @sweetsbysatori @sabyss @lunaevangeline @ohtobiors @horror-ho3 and anyone else who’d like to join!!

1. i definitely am the one telling the waiter our orders are wrong, shoyo is way toooo nice to say anything to someone.

2. shoyo doesn’t drink coffee but early on in our relationship he learned how i like it and will make it for me every morning :,) or just bring me a monster lol

3. oh my gosh shoyo gets rid of the spiders fs! i can’t handle bugs at all. he doesn’t like to kill them though so he tries his best to get them out in a humane way.

4. most often sho pushes the cart i grab the items but we often switch off depending on the section. he’s better at telling which fruit and veggies are ripe to pick!!

5. shoyo plans vacations way better than i can! i’m very much so go with the flow and allow him to choose what he thinks would be most exciting—he knows what i would like better than i do most of the time!

#😝—netreblogs #haikyuu atsumu #atsumu miya #hq atsumu #atsumu #miya atsumu

[netsumu]

hello and i am back LMDAOOO oh and spoiler warnings for tokyo revengers valhalla arc

nyways happy birthday to baji keisuke, sorry bestie i cant bring myself to write abt u bcs i know im gonna sob while doing it- im not mentally stable to write abt someone thats 5 ft under me HAHAHAhahahah

at this point fictional character's death dont even make me sad anymore, they just make me frustrated bcs like- WHY WOULD U KILL SOMEONE THAT ISNT EVEN REAL OR ALIVE

oh and i downloaded genshin THANKS TO THE LOML HELP but yea, they helped me throughout the entire shit while im just asking abt randome questions and cursing bcs i hate fighting games 🥲🥲

also im vry proud of myself today bcs i managed to clear like 14 tasks (not including tests) in just 1-2 weeks HEHE

im ranting a lot here but screw it, my life is just colorful LMAOO but yea, cant wait for christmas and im genuinely praying that the government doesnt erase the holiday for it

#😝—netalks #i ramble a lot #sorry yall #ANYWAYS #spoiler warning #i dont wanna write baji #i know im gonna sob #oh and i downloaded #genshin #i suck at it tho #praying i still have christmas holiday #and a pat to my back #for clearing all the tasks

[netsumu]

IM SUCH A BIG ATSUMU SIMP UGHH he's so cute help :(((((

WHERE CAN I GET A MIYA ATSUMU jk me and him are alr dating >:) /j

anwyasy this art is so cutee IT MAKES ATSUMU CUTE IM CRYING HIS POUT AND SMILE

Miya atsumu owns me now

#😝—netreblogs #haikyuu #atsumu miya #miya atsumu #HQ!! #haikyuu fanart