nicaninetynine

[nicaninetynine]

How does it feel to have your life figured out? Am I too impatient for wanting to feel okay at my first job? I want to be okay. I don’t want to go back to taking anxiety meds. I don’t want to think about seeing a therapist either. I’m even proud of myself for being six(?) months clean. A lot has happened last year and early this year. But growing throughout the journey was very comforting. I know stepping out of our comfort zones can be very scary but who knows, right? Who knows how much we are capable of doing. We will never find out unless we try.

[nicaninetynine]

What I want

I have always wondered what could be a unique story in my life worthy of being shared and allow my readers to feel different emotions. My life has been somehow a routine for me - a routine for an ordinary human being. Be in school, learn new things, grow up, and hopefully, find happiness in between these events. As I type this at almost lunch, I am in conflict as to whether I should celebrate that tomorrow’s a holiday in my province which means there would be no classes or feel nervous because today is another day at internship. As much as I want to learn during this time, a part of me feels that I should take it easy. Should I take it easy? I’m on my hopefully last year in university if things go well. If someone asks me what I want, I would say two things: To have mental stability and to finish my studies. I know, the environment at work is different but eventually, I must accept the fact that work is going to be a part of my life soon. I see family and friends who work every day and I can’t help but think that they seem to take it easy. But.. mental stability isn’t something we see through the naked eye. A friend of mine may seem fine but is actually suffering from stress at work. A sibling of mine may seem to be not busy because she watches Netflix while at work but may be tired from long meetings and watching is her way of coping. We never actually know how truly one feels. I don’t even know what to feel. Should I celebrate? Should I be nervous? Should I take it easy and relax? I don’t know. But if there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s that I’m not okay. This feeling isn’t always here. It pops out of nowhere, in times where I don’t need it. It sometimes appears in the corner of my room, making me feel scared of the future. Can I just skip this part? Can I fast forward to the part where I’m stable mentally and financially? How long do I have to wait?

The things we want don’t come easy, I know. Everyone may have had an experience or two that almost broke them but made them stronger. I want to be hopeful and say that time will come wherein I won’t have to feel confused or scared. I want to be hopeful and realize that the corners of my room are safe with no lingering dark feeling. I want to stay hopeful. I want everything around me to make me realize that despite how life has been difficult, I will be able to see the light soon. 

#nicacontent #personal

[nicaninetynine]

Emotional Dependency 053021

For someone who creates different projects through code, dependency is a word that I am very familiar with. I install different dependencies needed in my application. For a normal person, dependency can simply mean being dependent on something; just like how a sick person is dependent on a certain medicine or a baby being naturally dependent on a parent. But I’m a 21 turning 22-year old individual whose life hasn’t been figured out - I haven’t even finished my degree yet. No pressure, though. We all have our own rates of growth, our own pace. I think it’s safe to say that it’s common for people in my age to wish that clocks turned faster. As much as being young comes with a lesser sense of responsibility, wouldn’t it also be great to earn your own money and spend it on yourself?

Anyway, the purpose of this entry is to not talk about the future. These thoughts came to life because of some realizations of a 1-day trip outside my home.

My mood is easily affected because I’m too emotionally dependent on someone. I’ve met people in the past that I liked but I clearly remember that I was never like this to them. Last night, while holding a plate to eat dinner, I accidentally bumped on the wall while thinking of how fucked up my mind is. It can be easy to say to not think of this person too much but trust me, I have been struggling to love myself more ever since the year started. At the end of the day, I end up losing my mood because we weren’t able to talk well.

Our priorities differ. He works, I study. Most of the time, we’re both busy but I recently told him that the kind of busy he has and I have is different. My busy entails being in front of my laptop for a maximum of 12 hours or even more. In between, I scroll my social media accounts. Meanwhile, his busy isn’t like that. I always, always, always miss him. But what can I do when we’re both busy with our own lives? As much as I want the both of us to grow individually but not apart, I always have to remind myself that we have better things to prioritize.

I have been struggling mentally maybe around the time I started college and the reason is merely Academics. It was because of this relationship that I discovered how much I still have to grow and improve. That I’m a person who also needs some comfort and love after a long day of coding. That I tend to get needy. That I usually overthink. That I need constant reassurance. Sometimes, these things are put into a halt when he gets to spend time with me, but when he’s gone, I feel like I need more room for self-improvement.

But why do I stay despite things resulting into compromising my mental health? Simply because as cheesy as it sounds, love, can become one’s safe place. I remember being unable to sleep well because I couldn’t install a certain application needed for my project. Decided to try the next day, but the night before that, he randomly woke up and I think, asked why I was still awake. I felt nothing but relief when he asked that. His voice comforted my mind and pushed me to rest that night. It was then when I realized that I really am in love with him. 

You can be in love but relationships are not perfect from the start. Instead, they are supposed to improve over time. You can spend the whole day together but still get immature fights every now and then. It is through these misunderstandings that we get to know ourselves better. The other night, I told him how he was unfair for not telling me how he really felt; why he felt distant. But I also made him worry a few nights earlier without telling him what happened and leaving him thinking what actually happened to me. It is always important to tell the truth. Unfortunately for me, I couldn’t easily tell him that I broke down that night. There you have it, the thing I need to improve with. We’re still young and we have all the time in our lives to improve but a part of me wants more. Hopes for more time but when your enemy is something you can’t easily defeat, ehem priorities, then most of the time, all we have to do is wait until they’re ready.

I always remind myself to not get too toxic. But I feel like I’m being toxic and I just never get to tell him. I tell myself to not demand too much because it can be suffocating. This setup is difficult especially when I’m always hoping even for a little of his free time but I hope and pray that this goes well for the both of us. And if we’re truly the ones in the end, then I truly wish that we get to spend the rest of our lives well.

Here’s to conquering emotional dependency. Not now, but soon I will.

#personal #nicacontent #bubu

[nicaninetynine]

★ THE SOULMATE EYE THING ★

[nicaninetynine]

 021421

Chocolates here, bouquets there, love everywhere! Today is a special day for a lot especially those whose hearts have so much love to give to others. For some, it can be another excuse to give gifts to the people they like or to even confess. Nonetheless, today, just like any other day, is worth spending time with the people we truly love and care about.

This is probably the first time I ever wrote about Valentine’s Day because love has always been there and it’s worth celebrating every single day.  But what makes today so special? Is it because of the long queue of Instagram stories filled with bouquets and chocolates? Is it because everyone else is celebrating it and has become part of our culture already? But who cares, though? We’re allowed to celebrate love whenever we feel like it. Love shouldn’t be hard to give but honestly, self-love can be hard. I mean, love doesn’t always start with soft marshmallows and fragrant perfumes; sometimes it starts with hard rocks and unpleasant thoughts. Maybe love is like that. It’s different for every person. Love can be so easy to the point that we think this person is the one we want to spend our lifetime with. It can also be so difficult that we would feel like giving up anytime. Regardless of how love treats us, may we never forget that love has always been there and we have become inevitable recipients of it and yes, whether we like(or love?) it or not. Ironic, right? Because sometimes even though love is given to us at either big or small amounts, we may not always appreciate it and it’s okay. It’s okay to choose ourselves over love no matter how sweet it may seem. Like I said, self-love can be hard and it truly is. But that is what makes love so much worth it. We get to learn more about ourselves or about our significant others when we invest love. We are given the opportunity to fully comprehend what it’s like to be in love and to be loved because when time comes that we have to give or receive love, we are already familiar with the feeling. Love is beautiful despite its difficulty. Love is amazing and meaningful. Love will always be worth it.

And to you who spent the time reading this, may you find love in the most beautiful ways.  💖  

Happy Valentine’s!

Photo by Michael Schaffler from Unsplash

#nicacontent #personal

[nicaninetynine]

[nicaninetynine]

NIKI + Visualizers and Lyric Videos from “wanna take this downtown?”

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Niki Zefanya icons (request)

༄ Like or reblog if you save/use

༄ Don’t clame as your own

╰┈ ೃ Credits twitter: @thxgreywaren

[nicaninetynine]

To the ones we can’t have

Would things change if we had met sooner? Would we still be as close as we used to be?

These questions always cloud my mind whenever I think of you. Was the timing right when we met? At first, you never really caught my attention. To me, you were just that acquaintance I had met in an online game. I mean, that’s common, right? Considering the nature of the game we both love to play, we would most likely make friends with the people we play with. 

I already had my own set of friends (or friend, during that time) even before we started to talk. The only reason I didn’t stop playing was because I made a good friend, C, and I didn’t want to leave her or ghost her. Days went on and we started to talk casually. I didn’t really mind but I knew for a fact that I was shy and I didn’t know how to associate myself well with others besides C. Unlike me, C was outgoing which made it easier for her to make friends with the rest of the guild. I honestly didn’t care about making friends in the guild. I just wanted the pleasure of being able to play after how many years. I mean, during that time, all I could remember was enjoying the same game with some of my old friends. Came April and I was able to let my friends play the same game again. Yay! I became more active on Discord and guess what, I started to talk there too. 2020 really is something. lol. Anyway, you didn’t play a big part during that time yet.. not until May. May came and my friends started to get bored with the game. Valorant was already gaining its fame during that time and well.. I wasn’t really a fan of FPS games so I never really bothered to invest so much time in it. 

But you. You were there to make me feel that I wasn’t alone.

When everyone else left, you stayed there even until 6am. You were aware I’d sleep until 5am because of someone else but when this person left, you were there. You sort of filled that empty void in my heart when this person left. Let me tell you, he didn’t really leave a big impact in me but talking with someone everyday, it feels sad when this person suddenly leaves. 

I’m grateful for you. For being there until wee hours of the morning. Emotionally and mentally, I have never felt any better. You made me feel that the world still wants me. I will never regret spending every day with you since June until August. You, along with our other friends made me remember the exact reason why I came back playing the same game: Friends. I hope you think of me as a friend already. I don’t think strangers would play and talk each day. Haha.

I thought I was just using you to forget about my past. I really, really thought that was it. We even told each other that we were doing so. I’m sorry, I think I also became attached to you. When talking every single day seemed like the usual routine, I already told myself that it was just going to hurt in the end when you’ll leave. ..And I didn’t want to get hurt. You were one of the sources of my happiness (maybe until now haha but it seems like you’re starting to get bored already) during the whole time we were playing. That alone, I could never easily let go. Whenever you would tell me that we should stop talking, I would get hurt. Of course, I won’t ever tell you because I might risk losing our friendship. You know what, even though I like you and you obviously don’t, I’m fine with that. I want to keep our friendship because that’s how important you are to me. Like they say.. feelings fade and people change but memories will remain. If only the year was a loop of what happened for the past months that we were playing, I’d gladly stay in it. My RO friends will always be the best part of the quarantine. If it weren’t for this pandemic, we wouldn’t have met in the first place. Maybe you’d play the same server but it would be a different case for me. 

So let me ask these questions again.

Would things change if we had met sooner? 

Maybe, but the situation would probably be different. Don’t we all have our own lives before we met? We do, and mine needed a lot of fixing. I’m happy with the kind of friendship we have right now. 

Would we still be as close as we used to be?

I don’t think so. But now that I think of it, being close to you is comforting. :)

To the one I can’t have,

I know that things are bound to change. I know you and I aren’t going to stay as close as we are right now. I know that it’s going to hurt and I’ll truly miss you but it is in letting go that we realize that there is still a bigger world out there. Ragnarok Online isn’t the only thing there. RO isn’t life, but I’m grateful it became one and that you were in it. So, to wherever life pushes us to be at, I hope we become happy. Maybe a part of me is still hoping that we’d have those fun moments with our friends again. Oh I could only hope. I know you will never know what I feel for you or maybe I’d even forget about these feelings without you being aware. But know that even if I will never be able to tell you, you will always have a special place in my heart. All of my RO friends do, you’re just extra special. Hihi. Letting go is part of life and if doing so will make us better people, then so be it. I realized that it’s immature to force someone to stay when they want to leave. I want to grow even if it involves getting hurt. Life is filled with highs and lows and you can’t give me all the highs. I need to be mature too.

So yes. Thank you for everything. I don’t know if you’ll ever be able to read this. This is like the 3rd letter for you. And I know how much you have been requesting a goodbye letter. LOL. But you won’t be able to read this anyway. Haha. 

#nicacontent #personal

[nicaninetynine]

for you

goodbye letter na pinakahihintay mo :)

Tangina! Ilang buwan mo na tong hinihingi sakin, ngayon ko lang nakayang isulat. Hahahahah bobo

Dear bubu,

Mamimiss kita. :) Totoo yan. Genuine. From the heart. Siguro scale of 1-10 with 10 being the highest 10/10 mamimiss po talaga kita. Hehe. Alam ko iniisip mo, "Ulol" HAHAHA tangina mo. Pero seryoso ako ah. Sana naman, kahit ngayon lang.. kahit sa letter na to, maniwala ka sa sinasabi ko.

Sa totoo lang, di ko talaga alam kung paano ka iaapproach about this eh kahit matagal ka nang nanghihingi nito HAHA. Di kasi ako ready magpaalam sayo. Hahahahaha. 🥺

Thank you sa lahat lahat. Alam ko naman nagstart lang naman tong pag-uusap natin dahil sinamahan moko dati kasi baka malonely ako kasi wala si mami. HAHAHA tangina, mas malolonely pala ako kasi magpapaalam na ako sayo. Hahaha pano na ako ngayon 🥺🥺🥺 thank you din kasi always ka nandyan, ready to listen kung may problema ako. I reaally reaally appreciate it bubu. Thank you kasi dahil sayo sobrang saya nung pagbalik ko sa RO. Akala ko forever na lang ako tambay sa omni. I have never been happier this year, haha kasama ko kayo eh. :) thank you din kasi natry for the first time makalaro mga indog HAHAHAH. Sobrang naappreciate ko yung habang nsa call ung dummies natin, may sarili din tayong call. HAHAHAHA tangina lakas ng trip idle ah? Dami ko rin natutunan sa RO dahil sayo. Sana may natutunan ka rin galing sakin? Tulad ng /invite? HAHAAHHAHAH thank you kasi never once siguro di ko nafeel na lonely ako. Thank you bubu. Thank you Eloise. Thank you Ryan. 😊 I will never ever ever forget you guys. 

Alam mo sana di ko nalang sinabi sayo na busy na ako sa school. Ayan tuloy, namimiss kita lalo kasi hindi ako sanay di ka kausap buong araw. Kaso mukhang naboboringan ka na rin sakin. Sorry na po ah. Wala na kasi si RO. Alam mo naman, si RO lang naman rason eh bat lagi tayong nag uusap. HAHAHA wala eh, di na tayo nag uusap ng ibang topics tulad dati, umaabot ng 6am kung ano ano pinag uusapan nung dalawang bobo 😂 Those were the days!! Mukhang di na nga mauulit, gusto mo na rin magbbye sakin eh. Ngayon lang ako nakamuster up ng courage para ibigay yung gusto mo. Ayoko na kasing nakikitang nauumay kana. :)  HAHAHA nga pala, thank you din sa lahat ng pieces of advice na binigay mo dati. Pero taena mo di ko po namimiss ex ko. :) Di po ako ganun haha pramis! Sana naulit yung mga ganon na talks nu tangina mo kasi puro lang kagaguhan pinag uusapan natin huhu naumay ka tuloy!! awiiit

Thank you kasi nakikinig ka pag kumakanta ako. Wala kasi talagang makikinig sakin na iba, di naman ako singer eh. HAHAAH sadyang sinasabayan ko lang ung nagpplay. Thank you kasi (I hope) naappreciate mo yung boses ko kahit papano? HAHHAHA Di mo na ata kailangan na kantahan kita, tinutulugan mo na ako eh HAHAHAH

Kung wala ka, siguro sobrang lonely ko whole quarantine. Mga friends ko tumigil ng ro pero tayo hindi parin tumitigil kakalaro. Wish ko forever nalang yun pero aside sa walang forever, may mga priorities na tayo eh. Unti-unting nag -1 yung chismisan. Sad nu. Akala ko walang magsasawa. Hahaha. Nagsasawa nga pala tao. Di kasi ako nagsawa kaka RO. HAHAHAH

Uhh ano pa ba haha pota. Ang dami ko kasing gustong sabihin sayo, eh since eto na yung huling letter, sulitin ko na. HAHAHAH yaan mo gagandahan ko ending ng letter na to. Hahahaha.

Sana di nalang humantong sa ganto noh. Yung may nagpapaalam. Pero minsan kailangan mo rin magpaalam para sumaya yung iba HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA puta. Alam mo kahit 10 yrs ko na kilala sina jen at lisha, mas close pa ata ako sayo taena ka. Hahaha. Kahit ngayon, hayaan mo ituring ka bilang close friend ha? :) stranger lang kasi tingin mo sakin pero di ganun tingin ko sayo eh. You're a really great friend and you deserve nothing but happiness HAHAHA charot amputangina H4H4H4H

Ingat ka always ah. Huhu. Idedelete mo ba ako sa fb? I-uunfollow mo ba ako sa ig? Haha taena eto rin ayaw ko eh. HAHAHA kung pwede lang, friends na lang tayo forever. Sobrang close kasi sa ❤ ko pag RO friends hHAHAHAH. Para tuloy akong may nagawang masama pag dinelete moko pero wala e. Choice mo un. Wala na akong magagawa kung un gusto mong gawin. :)

Shoutout din po kay kuya cegie at kuya mel kasi pinakasal tayo sa omni. Tangina nascam ka ng betlog idle? HAHAHHAHAH di ko rin ineexpect na mas magiging close tayo kesa kay ate carms. Si ate carms lang naman kinakausap ko dati eh. HAHAHA memories. :( kung pwede lang bumalik, matagal ko nang binalika ung time na buhay pa ang omni. Hayy. Kakamiss.

Bubu, sana this time maniwala ka sa lahat ng nsa letter na to ah? Kahit di ka na maniwala sa akin after mong basahin to, lahat ng content ng letter na to, 101% true. Hahah.

Ayun. Uulitin ko, mamimiss kita. Kawalan ka ba? Syempre oo. Kasi kahit stranger lang ako sayo, close friend kita sa ro eh.

Wala nang gigising sakin ng 7am pag nakatulog ako sa alarm ko.

Wala nang tatawag sakin pagkagising ko tas sasabi ng "tara na, hunt na"

Wala nang magbubuhat sakin sa codm.

Wala na ung mumurahin ako tas magtatanong ako bakit, irarason kasi bubu ako.

Wala nang magsasabi sakin na wag ko solohin problema ko.

Wala na akong kasabay matulog HAHAHH

Wala na ung only person na tinutulugan ako 😂

Wala na ung magdedemand sakin na kumanta ako para makatulog sya.

Wala na ung magpapaedit ng grf

Alam mo, kung hindi dahil sayo, di ako mallearn ung pag ng edit ng grf. Kaw kasi eh. Request ka nang request. Sana marunong ka na mag edit ng grf? Mawawala na ako sa buhay mo eh. HAHAHA pero mayaman ka naman, pagawa ka nang dun sa cheat codes and friends. Angas pa designs 😂

Wala na ung magpipilot kay bellaYazumi123 HAHAAH

Wala na ung biglang tatawag sa phone kasi wala akong net HHAHAHH

Wala na ung idol ko kasi ayaw na nya akong kausap HUHUHUH

Anyway haha may gusto talaga akong sabihin kaso di ko matype putangina HAHAHHAHAH malolowbat na ako aaAAAAAA kk e2 na

I can't help but be grateful for everything char english. From playing ro, valorant, and even the forest, andyan ka lang palagi. Kung pwede lang kausap kita always kaso di pwede eh HAHAHAHAH kahit sa bragista sinamahan moko, kahit nsa ibang server sina ryan. Di ko alam bat mo ako sinamahan e, mga tropa mo naman ung nsa kabilang server tas guild ko nsa bragista. HAHAAHHAH di rin kita magets no HAHHAHAGGA men r complicated haha jk

Uhh, sorry if may times man na nagalit ka if meron man HAHAHAHHAH or if ever I have been insensitive HAAHHA di ako sure e pero magsosorry nalang ako taena mo tlaaga HAHAHAHAHHAHAH

😭

thank you din pala sa 'mingming' na nickname 🙂 ikaw lang nakaisip non huhu. thank you nalang din kasi ikaw lang tumatawag sakin by my first name kahit alam mong ayaw ko marinig un HAHAHHAHAH.

Anyway haha I'm sorry na agad pero nasanay na ako na andyan ka kaya sobrang haba ng letter na to. Wag ka maumay pls pota. Tapusin mo naman to. Minsan lang to oh.

Hahahhahahhaa sorry kasi nasanay ako na palagi kang andyan kaya namimiss din kita pag di ka tumatawag. HAHAHAHA sorry po kasi parang naattach na rin ako sayo in a way.. HAHAHAHA sabi ko naman diba, since last letter na to, sasabihin ko na rin lahat lahat. Taas ng chance na di mo na ako kakausapin after neto eh. Haha. So ayun uhh I hope nagets mo agad na naattach ako sayo. HAHAHA in short i like u HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA potangina mong bobo ka naiinis na ako habang tinatype to haha its fucking 3:44 am pero sabog na ako kaya gantong oras ko tinatype hahaa mas nagiging genuine iniisip ko e HAHAHAHAH gets mO YON? Im sorry i ended up liking you huhu talo na po ako. Hahahahahahahahha kahit alam ko namang ginamit mo lang ako hahaha puta talo nanaman si mingming@@!!! Natatakot akong sabihin sayo kasi baka maumay ka kasi aun nga haha. Baka di mo na ako kausapin.. kaya dito ko nalang sasabihin. Kasi goodbye letter to eh. 

Alam ko namang matutuwa ka kasi papakawalan na kita.. i won't hold you back anymore if you wanna leave. Always follow your heart bubu, always. 😊 alam ko namang sinamahan mo lang ako until this time kaya ang cute mo magsalita minsan ung halatang magugustuhan tlga kta hahah pak u HHAHAHAHAH haupxjsjjsjs kaya alam ko rin stranger lang talaga tingin mo sakin and it's okay. I think I've accepted that from the time you told me na stranger lang ako para sayo at wala kang pake sa nararamdamn ko HAHAHHA. Okay lang po. Just let me tell you what I feel. Haha sabi mo diba? :) wag kong solohin. Eto rin ung isang nagbbother sakin last week pa. I know we're eventually going to drift apart 😂 but di ko kasi agad matatanggap na ganun na lang. I couldn't tell you everything that's been bothering me kasi ikaw ung reason e umay HAHHAHAHAHAHAGAGGAGAGAG ayun. 

 Sobrang laki ng part mo sa naging RO life ko these past months pero hindi ako nagsisisi na nakilala kita bubu. Sa lahat ng sakit na binigay ng 2020, sa RO lang ako pinakamasaya. Sad lang kasi things do come to an end. Alam ko naman makakalimutan mo rin ako. I’m just another stranger na nakilala mo virtually. Hehehe

Whatever your reaction to this letter will be, I hope di ka magalit sakin kasi umabot sa ganto. Hahaha talo si mingming!!! Puta sa disguise mo lang ako di matatalo eh!! Di ka naman galit no? Hahaha sana hindi. Pero whatever you're feeling, la na akong pake dun? Haha jk. Whatever you're feeling, know that I will always be grateful for the friendship. Hahaha. Kung pwede lang sana friends parin tayo after neto eh HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA 😔👉👈

Ayun lang. At least nasabi ko na ung dapat kong sabihin bago mahuli ang lahat. :) Just getting the weight off my chest. 😊 Whatever happens, happens. HehehHEHEHHh thanks po for taking the time to read or even finishing this letter. Ingat ka always. Pakabait ka always. Follow ur heart, always 😊

HAhaha at dahil may spotify ka na, eto haha especially made for you. Di tayo same sa taste ng music pero I made sure na yung songs dito familiar ka at mostly (?) kaya mong sabayan. HAHAHAHAHAHHAH

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7uO5vG3CLwFL8gT6q0P99n?si=q5-orYCZR7GGAljqHTPttg

May letter din yan hehe, listen and watch carefully? HAHAHAHA! Enjoy~

Always,

cutest mingming 🐷

[nicaninetynine]

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

If you save please like. If repost give credits.

[nicaninetynine]

sometimes my gifs do this dumb thing where they won’t move @aleksovana (i forgot to give them credit when i posted this)

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[nicaninetynine]

— “𝙄 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙤 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝... 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙖𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙧𝙚.” - 𝐊𝐲𝐨 𝐒𝐨𝐡𝐦𝐚

[nicaninetynine]

This one is for you: For the person who never lets anyone see their demons or the battle they are fighting inside their head; for the person who gives everything to help those in need but does not seem to get the same care back; for the person who is hurting inside but hiding it with a smile on the outside even though what fills their nights are dark thoughts and cries; this one is for you, my love. I want you to know that I see you. I see right through the mask you are putting on every day and I am here to tell you that you can put it down. Drop it. Finally let those feelings out. It is okay. It is okay. I am here. I will not judge. I will support you as you heal in your own way.

[nicaninetynine]