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nightiingaled · 15 hours
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i did not go to friends house. rip
tfw you're supposed to go somewhere but you can't go YET so you're just stuck with no way to do anything else sldlkaslkdlak
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nightiingaled · 16 hours
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tfw you're supposed to go somewhere but you can't go YET so you're just stuck with no way to do anything else sldlkaslkdlak
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nightiingaled · 21 hours
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i have a mushy part of my head - probably from my chiari - and i know i shouldn't but i keep gently mushing it bc it feels sensory sldldk;ldk;
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nightiingaled · 2 days
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i hate my mania so much laksjdskjdkj
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nightiingaled · 2 days
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Forgot to mention - I got my lumbar puncture moved closer so now it's only 2 weeks away rather than a whole month and a half. So hopefully I'll be able to return to normally scheduled nonsense soon enough.
I will say - i've been having some good days the past few so *fingers crossed* it stays this way. I might even work on some things we'll see. <3
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nightiingaled · 2 days
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Oh apparently this blog is a year old today - WILD
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nightiingaled · 4 days
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It's ridiculous how much I cannot stay awake today. I've been up a total of 3 hours all day - what is this nonsense.
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nightiingaled · 5 days
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i am once again asking for drabble ideas - thank you!
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nightiingaled · 5 days
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nightiingaled · 5 days
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ʟɪᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜɪɢʜ ᴀɴᴅ ɢᴜᴀʀᴀɴᴛᴇᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʟɪᴠᴇ ғᴏʀᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɴᴀᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ʙʟᴏᴏᴅ ᴘᴏᴜʀɪɴɢ ᴅᴏᴡɴsᴛʀᴇᴀᴍ
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nightiingaled · 5 days
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Warning Sign | Tae-mi & Cass
Blackwatch Years Tae-mi when a mission goes awry. Trigger warnings for mentions of blood, momentary gore & near-death. @quick-drawn
The desert is alive with the sound of gunfire.
“One left!”
Tae-mi Jin is in the process of placing her final clip into her gun, licking her lips and whispering a soft prayer. She has her back against a collapsed stone wall, long worn from time.
“You’re talking about targets, right?”
Across from her – on the other side of the crumbling entryway into the long-destroyed building – Jesse McCree aims and misses one of the remaining soldiers creeping closer and closer to their position.
“Not with that aim!”
“You’re one to talk!”
Sure enough, the moment Tae attempts to take a shot at one of the soldiers, they open fire in her direction, and she misses her shot as she takes cover once again. She grumbles something to herself, but she knows that of the two of them she is the weaker link here.
Gunfights have never been her thing. Hand-to-hand, close combat has always been where she excels, if her continued wins in the fighting rings had anything to say about it.
“You think if we ask nicely, they’ll line up easy to let us punch them out instead?”
She can hear him thinking across the space between them and it almost makes her laugh.
“Can you two take this a little seriously?” Commander Reyes’ voice cut through their radios with a crackle of faint static.
A tight-lipped smile stretches across Tae’s features despite everything. “Not to rush you, Commander, but how’s it coming?”
“We’re in the clear. Light them up!”
Tae gives Jesse a thumbs up, Jesse returning the gesture. Tae thumbs the detonator in her other hand, pressing it with more force than probably necessary. The ground rumbles around them as multiple bombs go off in a location less than a mile east. Tae can see the haze that has erupted in its place as she dives into her hideaway.
 There’s the sound of screaming and shouting of orders and suddenly the soldiers assaulting them are leaving hurriedly in two vehicles towards the direction of the compound in the distance.
“Can’t believe that worked.”
Tae laughs, having crawled out of the crevice in the wall and crossed to Jesse’s side of the entryway. She offers him a hand up which he accepts with a smile. “I owe that man a dri—”
Gunfire breaks out once again, shattering the moment. Tae throws herself back to the wall, dragging a startled Jesse with her. “Damnit,” she spits.
“What was that?” Reyes clips through.  
“They left someone behind. Can’t be many we got—Jesse!”
Jesse is semi-conscious, flopping over as his body struggles to hold itself upright.
“Flesh wound, sweetheart,” he murmurs, his eyes flickering open and then closed again.
Crimson red is seeping through holes in Jesse’s vest and Tae swallows thickly.
“Stay still.”
The building around them has gone quiet. Tae is sure they couldn’t have left more than three behind. They would send as many as possible to see to the supposed attack on the compound and the two agents had done their best to leave few to spare.
Tae slips her knives from their sheathes.
The first comes through the entryway – poor thing was practically bait. Tae takes him out at the knees, quite literally taking her knives and slicing away at the back of his legs. He lets out a wailing scream and collapses as the second comes around the right corner. Tae knocks the soldier’s aim down towards the ground with one arm, using the other to slice up under and into his jaw. She lets him keep the knife as she turns the other on the third soldier hurrying through the entryway to help. Again, and again and again she thrusts her knife into his chest until he’s blubbering blood all over her.
“Three,” she tells herself, “They left three.”
The fourth doesn’t exactly take her by surprise so much as uses a different approach than the others. He rushes through the doorway and subsequently towards Tae herself. Smaller than him and more practiced, she manages to dodge to the side. It isn’t enough. He launches himself at her and throws her to the ground. Tae doesn’t realize his hands on her throat until they suddenly aren’t she’s breathing fresh air again, ears ringing from the nearby gunshot.
She rolls the body off her, looking over at Jesse. The man is sheet white, but the grip on his gun is surprisingly steady.
“Thank you,” he says softly.
“What?”
“You say, ‘thank you’, sweetheart.”
“Don’t call me sweetheart,” she grumbles as she picks herself off the ground and hurries back over to his side. It’s at this moment that she realizes Reyes is still trying to make contact. His voice had become a distant buzz, a distraction she had to ignore for the time being.
“Jin, I swear to God if you don’t answer—”
“Sorry, sir. The pickup crew is cleared out, but McCree is injured.”
“Stay put. We’ll evac you as soon as we make the rendezvous.”
“Sir, I don’t think we have that kind of time. You still have miles ahead of you – we have a shorter distance we can hit the rendezvous at the same time.”  
While she’s talking, Tae is tearing spare fabric from the soldiers’ uniforms and her pants, wrapping the bandages around Jesse’s stomach, and tying them tight.
“Jin, don’t tell me you’re thinking of—”
“This isn’t a viable rendezvous point, sir. You said so yourself. We just blew up the safest landing zone for miles. And it’s going to be too Hot to land. It’s not worth the risk.”
“Jin, I mean it – do not leave your position.”
“Sorry sir, I’m getting nothing but static. I’ll meet you at the rendezvous.”
And then the line goes silent as she turns off her comms. Tae-mi reaches down, pulling Jesse up by both arms with a grunt and leaning him over her shoulder.
“Come on, Jess – we got a long walk ahead of us.”  
& & &
Tae didn’t doubt her logic, but she realizes that she might have misgauged how quickly she would be able to move with Jesse.  For what it was worth, he tries to help as much as he can. When he’s awake. But the man’s consciousness comes and goes. Here and there she catches him muttering to himself and wonders what delirium he finds himself in. She remembers him saving her so many years ago and it feels like only yesterday. To think she finally gets to return the favor – she hopes it’s worth it.
It's sad that even after all this time, she’s barely let him in. Barely let anyone in. It’s just her and her sister. The two of them have grown together in Blackwatch, different in multiple ways but so similar in so many others. What would it be like to lose him?
Tae swallows. No, she tells herself. Stop thinking like he’s dying.
But he is. He is dying. He’s dripping crimson through the makeshift bandages. He bled through the bandages, even after she ripped more of her pants to add to it. He’s bleeding into the remainder of her shirt, just bleeding and she can’t stop it. He’s paler than he was at the start and that is saying something. His sweat is almost drowning her.
“Gonna be sick…”
“Not on my shoulder you’re not.”
But she hopes it bodes well that he’s saying anything at all. He doesn’t get sick. They keep moving on.
There comes a point – as much as she hates it – that she must stop again, simply to rest. If she doesn’t her shoulder will give out. The two of them are covered in blood. Jesse has soaked through every bandage she’s thrown at him and down his pants. Tae has sacrificed everything but her tank top and enough of her pants they’ve become shorts. There’s no point making herself naked at this point – it’s not going to help, she knows.  
“…Behind…”
She has Jesse leaned against a rock ledge and she leans closer to him. “What’s up?”
A tongue licks slowly over his chapped lips. “Leave me…. behind.”
“Over my dead body.”
She reaches out to grab his arm, but he catches her wrist and holds it. His grip isn’t tight – he didn’t have the strength, but she doubts it would be even if he did. “Don’t die here….with me.”
“Neither of us is going to die, Jess.”
A crack creeps into her voice and she notices her fingers are starting to shake. She needs to get moving again before she can’t anymore, but Jesse’s other hand is touching her hair.
“You’re really pretty with this haircut, you know?”
“Jess – stop talking nonsense okay, let’s get out of here. You’re going to be okay. You’re gonna –”
He cups her jaw and leans forward, and Tae sees what comes next. She doesn’t stop it. It’s not the right time – it’s NEVER going to be the right time for her, but this is next level of not right. But what if they never get another chance?
Their lips meet and it’s so soft and weak on his end, but there’s still a fire behind it that she returns. Tae wraps her now free hands in his hair and leans him forward into the kiss, tears tracking down her worried features.
And then it’s over, but it remains abuzz within her. She thumbs his hair away from his eyes and sighs.  “I hope you didn’t think that was going to convince me to leave you, Jess,” she murmured. “Come on.”
& & &
She turns her comms back on the moment she sees the form of the helicopter growing nearer in the distance. To her surprise, Reyes does not immediately proceed to curses upon hearing her voice back on the radio.
“How’s he doing,” she hears instead and smiles softly to herself.
“Holding out.”
“We see you. We’ll meet you halfway.”
The group of agents do indeed meet them halfway with a stretcher. Jesse’s weight is transferred from her shoulder to someone else and Tae almost loses her balance at the loss. The realization of her own exhaustion settles on her, and it takes everything she has to keep walking towards the helicopter.
“Jin!”
Tae turns to see Commander Reyes approaching her at a brisk march. She swallows.
“Never ever and I mean ever pull that shit with me again, do you hear me?”
“Yes, sir.”
She turns away and keeps walking towards the ship before he calls her name once again. “Tae-mi…”
The woman turns back, and the Commander has a half-smile on his face. “Good job.”
She smiles back at him. “Yes, sir.”  
They pile into the ship as the medic works around them to try and stabilize Jesse.
Tae-mi clutches his hand the entire time. Tae-mi doesn’t care who sees at this point and no one says anything.
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nightiingaled · 5 days
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SPY / ESPIONAGE PROMPTS, PART TWO *  assorted lines from popular spy & action films
i've read your file.
i want my life back.
you'll never make it out of here alive.
we're probably never going to get that dinner, are we?
for a moment, i thought you wanted to kill me.
thanks for the warning.
it doesn't matter what you do. only matters what they think you've done.
it's not that i don't care about you. it's that i don't care about anyone.
let's make a deal.
you said you could help us.
there are no accidents. we create our own fate.
you see through people.
adversity is a great teacher.
it's so rare in my line of work to find someone who's just there to listen.
rescind the kill order.
you know, i'm really starting to not like you.
the world is run on secrets.
if you run, you die.
trusting a thief can be dangerous.
i'm a good guy. but sometimes i do bad things.
can you fly a helicopter?
i'm glad it was convincing.
i've been building a profile on you.
this is what you are meant to do.
they knew my name.
oh, you made it. thank god.
it's not what time steals... it's what it leaves behind.
i will do what is asked of me.
the news will tell them there will be no more secrets.
it's a simple mistake.
i thought you'd be back by now.
i think one day you will understand.
don't give them all of you. that is how you survive.
did you really think i was going to give you that list?
oh my god, i think i fucking love you.
you don't get to come in here and try to fix everything.
you know where to find me.
that's what we do, right? we put ourselves in danger so that others are not.
sometimes you got to work with people you don't want to eat with.
i have the name of the mole.
don't give me that shit. you were gonna leave me?
i trust you about as far as i can through you.
where the fuck are you?
why does someone want you dead?
you have the power to decide whether i die in vain.
after you turn me in, you will be a hero.
are you good guys or bad guys?
in six months, the information you have will be obsolete.
let's go home.
even if i did partner up with you, we'd still only have one brain.
trouble never sends a warning.
you want answers? get back in the car.
you said you had answers.
i never worked for you.
we're not partners. this is a marriage of convenience.
i'm putting you on leave, effective immediately.
i'm my own bitch now.
do what you can to stay alive.
you must become the missing piece, and they will tell you anything.
the world can burn for all i care.
i wish you the very best... for at least six months.
we're all gonna die one day.
there's another life waiting for you if you want it.
i never had a single day of freedom.
you're not made.
you can have excuses or results. not both.
i warned you about him.
are you going to lie till the very end?
let me help you with your bags.
it's only for tonight.
it's nearly impossible to disappear in the world we live in today.
you knew what would happen once i got into that room.
you've got some balls breaking in here.
you worked for me.
you were too fucking scared to do it yourself.
you must learn to sacrifice for a higher purpose, to push yourself beyond all limitation.
you're wanted in 18 different countries.
we're armed because we mistrust each other.
the world is in chaos.
truth and lies. people like us don't know the difference.
who won? and what was the fucking game anyway?
they will come after you, wherever you are.
tell him i have what he wants.
when you tell the truth, you look different. your eyes change.
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nightiingaled · 5 days
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Warning Sign | Tae-mi & Cass
Blackwatch Years Tae-mi when a mission goes awry. Trigger warnings for mentions of blood, momentary gore & near-death. @quick-drawn
The desert is alive with the sound of gunfire.
“One left!”
Tae-mi Jin is in the process of placing her final clip into her gun, licking her lips and whispering a soft prayer. She has her back against a collapsed stone wall, long worn from time.
“You’re talking about targets, right?”
Across from her – on the other side of the crumbling entryway into the long-destroyed building – Jesse McCree aims and misses one of the remaining soldiers creeping closer and closer to their position.
“Not with that aim!”
“You’re one to talk!”
Sure enough, the moment Tae attempts to take a shot at one of the soldiers, they open fire in her direction, and she misses her shot as she takes cover once again. She grumbles something to herself, but she knows that of the two of them she is the weaker link here.
Gunfights have never been her thing. Hand-to-hand, close combat has always been where she excels, if her continued wins in the fighting rings had anything to say about it.
“You think if we ask nicely, they’ll line up easy to let us punch them out instead?”
She can hear him thinking across the space between them and it almost makes her laugh.
“Can you two take this a little seriously?” Commander Reyes’ voice cut through their radios with a crackle of faint static.
A tight-lipped smile stretches across Tae’s features despite everything. “Not to rush you, Commander, but how’s it coming?”
“We’re in the clear. Light them up!”
Tae gives Jesse a thumbs up, Jesse returning the gesture. Tae thumbs the detonator in her other hand, pressing it with more force than probably necessary. The ground rumbles around them as multiple bombs go off in a location less than a mile east. Tae can see the haze that has erupted in its place as she dives into her hideaway.
 There’s the sound of screaming and shouting of orders and suddenly the soldiers assaulting them are leaving hurriedly in two vehicles towards the direction of the compound in the distance.
“Can’t believe that worked.”
Tae laughs, having crawled out of the crevice in the wall and crossed to Jesse’s side of the entryway. She offers him a hand up which he accepts with a smile. “I owe that man a dri—”
Gunfire breaks out once again, shattering the moment. Tae throws herself back to the wall, dragging a startled Jesse with her. “Damnit,” she spits.
“What was that?” Reyes clips through.  
“They left someone behind. Can’t be many we got—Jesse!”
Jesse is semi-conscious, flopping over as his body struggles to hold itself upright.
“Flesh wound, sweetheart,” he murmurs, his eyes flickering open and then closed again.
Crimson red is seeping through holes in Jesse’s vest and Tae swallows thickly.
“Stay still.”
The building around them has gone quiet. Tae is sure they couldn’t have left more than three behind. They would send as many as possible to see to the supposed attack on the compound and the two agents had done their best to leave few to spare.
Tae slips her knives from their sheathes.
The first comes through the entryway – poor thing was practically bait. Tae takes him out at the knees, quite literally taking her knives and slicing away at the back of his legs. He lets out a wailing scream and collapses as the second comes around the right corner. Tae knocks the soldier’s aim down towards the ground with one arm, using the other to slice up under and into his jaw. She lets him keep the knife as she turns the other on the third soldier hurrying through the entryway to help. Again, and again and again she thrusts her knife into his chest until he’s blubbering blood all over her.
“Three,” she tells herself, “They left three.”
The fourth doesn’t exactly take her by surprise so much as uses a different approach than the others. He rushes through the doorway and subsequently towards Tae herself. Smaller than him and more practiced, she manages to dodge to the side. It isn’t enough. He launches himself at her and throws her to the ground. Tae doesn’t realize his hands on her throat until they suddenly aren’t she’s breathing fresh air again, ears ringing from the nearby gunshot.
She rolls the body off her, looking over at Jesse. The man is sheet white, but the grip on his gun is surprisingly steady.
“Thank you,” he says softly.
“What?”
“You say, ‘thank you’, sweetheart.”
“Don’t call me sweetheart,” she grumbles as she picks herself off the ground and hurries back over to his side. It’s at this moment that she realizes Reyes is still trying to make contact. His voice had become a distant buzz, a distraction she had to ignore for the time being.
“Jin, I swear to God if you don’t answer—”
“Sorry, sir. The pickup crew is cleared out, but McCree is injured.”
“Stay put. We’ll evac you as soon as we make the rendezvous.”
“Sir, I don’t think we have that kind of time. You still have miles ahead of you – we have a shorter distance we can hit the rendezvous at the same time.”  
While she’s talking, Tae is tearing spare fabric from the soldiers’ uniforms and her pants, wrapping the bandages around Jesse’s stomach, and tying them tight.
“Jin, don’t tell me you’re thinking of—”
“This isn’t a viable rendezvous point, sir. You said so yourself. We just blew up the safest landing zone for miles. And it’s going to be too Hot to land. It’s not worth the risk.”
“Jin, I mean it – do not leave your position.”
“Sorry sir, I’m getting nothing but static. I’ll meet you at the rendezvous.”
And then the line goes silent as she turns off her comms. Tae-mi reaches down, pulling Jesse up by both arms with a grunt and leaning him over her shoulder.
“Come on, Jess – we got a long walk ahead of us.”  
& & &
Tae didn’t doubt her logic, but she realizes that she might have misgauged how quickly she would be able to move with Jesse.  For what it was worth, he tries to help as much as he can. When he’s awake. But the man’s consciousness comes and goes. Here and there she catches him muttering to himself and wonders what delirium he finds himself in. She remembers him saving her so many years ago and it feels like only yesterday. To think she finally gets to return the favor – she hopes it’s worth it.
It's sad that even after all this time, she’s barely let him in. Barely let anyone in. It’s just her and her sister. The two of them have grown together in Blackwatch, different in multiple ways but so similar in so many others. What would it be like to lose him?
Tae swallows. No, she tells herself. Stop thinking like he’s dying.
But he is. He is dying. He’s dripping crimson through the makeshift bandages. He bled through the bandages, even after she ripped more of her pants to add to it. He’s bleeding into the remainder of her shirt, just bleeding and she can’t stop it. He’s paler than he was at the start and that is saying something. His sweat is almost drowning her.
“Gonna be sick…”
“Not on my shoulder you’re not.”
But she hopes it bodes well that he’s saying anything at all. He doesn’t get sick. They keep moving on.
There comes a point – as much as she hates it – that she must stop again, simply to rest. If she doesn’t her shoulder will give out. The two of them are covered in blood. Jesse has soaked through every bandage she’s thrown at him and down his pants. Tae has sacrificed everything but her tank top and enough of her pants they’ve become shorts. There’s no point making herself naked at this point – it’s not going to help, she knows.  
“…Behind…”
She has Jesse leaned against a rock ledge and she leans closer to him. “What’s up?”
A tongue licks slowly over his chapped lips. “Leave me…. behind.”
“Over my dead body.”
She reaches out to grab his arm, but he catches her wrist and holds it. His grip isn’t tight – he didn’t have the strength, but she doubts it would be even if he did. “Don’t die here….with me.”
“Neither of us is going to die, Jess.”
A crack creeps into her voice and she notices her fingers are starting to shake. She needs to get moving again before she can’t anymore, but Jesse’s other hand is touching her hair.
“You’re really pretty with this haircut, you know?”
“Jess – stop talking nonsense okay, let’s get out of here. You’re going to be okay. You’re gonna –”
He cups her jaw and leans forward, and Tae sees what comes next. She doesn’t stop it. It’s not the right time – it’s NEVER going to be the right time for her, but this is next level of not right. But what if they never get another chance?
Their lips meet and it’s so soft and weak on his end, but there’s still a fire behind it that she returns. Tae wraps her now free hands in his hair and leans him forward into the kiss, tears tracking down her worried features.
And then it’s over, but it remains abuzz within her. She thumbs his hair away from his eyes and sighs.  “I hope you didn’t think that was going to convince me to leave you, Jess,” she murmured. “Come on.”
& & &
She turns her comms back on the moment she sees the form of the helicopter growing nearer in the distance. To her surprise, Reyes does not immediately proceed to curses upon hearing her voice back on the radio.
“How’s he doing,” she hears instead and smiles softly to herself.
“Holding out.”
“We see you. We’ll meet you halfway.”
The group of agents do indeed meet them halfway with a stretcher. Jesse’s weight is transferred from her shoulder to someone else and Tae almost loses her balance at the loss. The realization of her own exhaustion settles on her, and it takes everything she has to keep walking towards the helicopter.
“Jin!”
Tae turns to see Commander Reyes approaching her at a brisk march. She swallows.
“Never ever and I mean ever pull that shit with me again, do you hear me?”
“Yes, sir.”
She turns away and keeps walking towards the ship before he calls her name once again. “Tae-mi…”
The woman turns back, and the Commander has a half-smile on his face. “Good job.”
She smiles back at him. “Yes, sir.”  
They pile into the ship as the medic works around them to try and stabilize Jesse.
Tae-mi clutches his hand the entire time. Tae-mi doesn’t care who sees at this point and no one says anything.
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nightiingaled · 6 days
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THE FIRE & THE FLOOD. || a mctea playlist  @quick-drawn​ // art credit
1. Fire and the Flood - Vance Joy 2. I Am the Moon - The White Buffalo 3. Heat Waves - Glass Animals 4. In Case You Don’t Live Forever - Ben Platt 5. I Am Falling in Love - Isak Danielson 6. Silk - Dustin Tebbutt & Thelma Plum 7. Paris - The Chainsmokers 8. Circles - Post Malone 9.  Riptide - Vance Joy 10. Hold Back the River - James Bay 11. Bleed Out - Isak Danielson 12. Say Amen - American Authors & Billy Raffoul
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nightiingaled · 6 days
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im in a shippy mood too and i wanna write and eughhh
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nightiingaled · 6 days
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I want to write but I dont want to write what I've got - someone give me a drabble idea idk
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nightiingaled · 6 days
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me: *bodily exhausted from the days events and the previous days events*
also me: i have never wanted to write more badly in my life
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