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ANYWAY i won one of the #finishinfinitytrain prizes and i couldnt be more ecstatic B)

#txt

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i know this has nothing to do with my blog, but this is the only place i have followers. i drew fanart for the first time in years bc of infinity train. if you have not watched the show yet i recommend it 500%. i don't wanna use the phrase "since avatar the last airbender" but it's the only thing i can think to compare it to. it is the best cartoon since atla. the characters are great and relatable, the writing is solid and consistent, it has emotional depth, concepts i'm kicking myself for not coming up with first, and a talking corgi king

if you have watched it and you're not aware of what's going on, watch this video

#FinishInfinityTrain

#finishinfinitytrain #finish infinity train #renewinfinitytrain #renew infinity train #infinitytrain #infinity train #jesse infinity train #jesse cosay #lake infinity train #mirror tulip #jesse is wearing chrome nail polish to match lake #bc i'm trans and gay #so so is lake #and you cannot convince me otherwise

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14, 19, 29 💗

14- (when is my birthday) 12/21! winter solstice! i was also born on winter street which is pretty cool i guess

19- (one wish) i want to be all knowing. not in a godly sense but just in a "the fact i can't understand everything right now, and i'll never be able to know the truth of the universe drives me crazy" kinda way. i just wanna know what conspiracy theories were right

29- (biggest mistake) not talking to people. people like me, even if i think they don't, and i make friends relatively easily. one of my friends has terminal cancer and only has 5> months and i missed out on the opportunity of knowing him years sooner, simply because i was constantly scared of embarrassment when i was younger (and now lol i haven't worked through shit). but hey, c'est la vie i guess

edit: i forgot words bc i was tired as shit

#ask #txt #not to just emotionally dump on this ask lol #just smth i've been thinking abt lately #a

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i’m at such a ?? time of my life i’m just ???????????????????????? like ????????

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#my edit #liminal spaces #dereality #dreamcore #weirdcore #ventcore #unreality

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i cant feel the ground under my feet

#srb #this is rb is directly related to my last post lmao #also dissociation #but thats also bc of my meds and mental illness so...

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my meds make me dizzy and light headed as well as amplifying my memory lapses so i think im spending like 40-60% of my days utterly lost or confused

#its not bad #im not looking for pity #i think the symptoms of my mental illness/meds are funny to me in a sort of #dark comedy/seeing the absurdity in human suffering way #if yall know what i mean #txt #not weirdcore

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who are you? who was i?

#srb #im just so confused about human identity #im just so tired of thinking all the time but im so scared of forgetting #i need my meds lol

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the fact that i’m not elton jjohn during the 60′s-90′s pisses me tf off. gahh

#txt #i just wanna know the full extent of his life #and know one will ever truly know except elton himself #grrrrrr im mad at the limited nature of human comprehension >:( #not weirdcore

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lmao found out that i was throwing up at least once a week for a while there is bc of how inconsistently i take my meds. i was going through withdrawal and it took me WEEKS to connect the “meds that cause stomach problems” to the “stomach problems that happen when you stop taking your meds.” god im such a dumbass

#its funny. you can laugh if you wan #t #tw// drugs #tw// vomit #i didnt realize bc i have such a bad memory so something as menial as if i took my meds or even if i remember them at all in them at all #in the first place is something i struggle with #txt #not weirdcore

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sometimes I see older people and I’m like... how do you do it? how do you cope with the loss of people and places and things as life progresses

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i replied in the tags to ur post but i was outed when i was hospitalized too, i think it was genuinely the worst night of my life. i'm glad hospital/inpatient/involuntary hospitalization trauma is talked about more often now it makes me feel a tiny bit better. anyways i hope u feel better soon man

im fine now, it was years ago. i forget how traumatizing it was to me until i have to think about it and i immediately start shutting down emotionally and physically. i get so tired and usually get a headache, but honestly it feels validating just being able to talk and complain about it