ninasdrafts

[ninasdrafts]

Ahhh hi hey hello! I didn't realise you'd missed me so thank you for the lovely comments on my latest piece! I missed you guys too. Sorry it's been so quiet - I'm gonna tell you why so you'll understand. My boyfriend and I are building/renovating our future home so that's obviously a lof of work and takes sooo much time. I use what little time I have to work on my book and sadly there is hardly any time left to write and update my socials regularly. I miss writing and I miss sharing my pieces with you, but I'll try to check in frequently and whenever I find a spare minute to pen something down, you'll find it on here☺️

See you soon! 🤍

#personal #i miss you #sorry i've been gone for so long #not gone just quiet #i'll be back

[ninasdrafts]

I‘m no longer hurt by the things you said to me, but the way you saw your opening and got out stays with me. It was easy for you. So convenient to flee whenI wasn't looking. I was too busy rearranging my memories in my head, too caught up changing up conversations so they would have a better ending. Words said in anger lose their sting over the years, and yet every single one left its mark. Another nick in the flesh, another brushstroke added to the mural of our past. Sometimes my fingers brush over the places you touched and I remember how it felt when your knife split my skin. It's all right, I tell myself. It's all right to no longer want to see my scars and view them as landmarks of the town we built together. You weren't the first person I'd loved and lost but it still took me by surprise when your face that used to feel like a road map for me turned into no-man's-land. The tells I'd memorised over the years lost their meaning. While I used to read your mood by the tilt of your chin, I see nothing when I look at you now. Empty eyes and a mouth that speaks a language I became rusty in. I wonder when it changed. When the car drove right off the road. By now it doesn't matter. It only matters that it did.

landmarks of our town / n.j.

#except from a book i'll never write #writing #prose #poetry #spilled ink #words #writers on tumblr #quote #excerpt from a book i'll never write #creative writing #quotes #excerpts #ttpd #ttpd writing #lit #literature

[ninasdrafts]

“You could always tell my fake smiles from my real ones. When it comes to this, I wish I could have lied to you to make things easier. It still amazes me, to be known, to be seen like this - and to go back to being strangers despite of it. To forget the shape of your palm pressed to mine. To unknow the cadence of your laughter. To unlearn the secret language we taught ourselves over the years. It’s a shame we didn’t last. It’s a shame that I was lucky enough to meet someone who took the time to get to know my soul only to let them go again.”

— to be seen like this / n.j.

#reblog #excerpt from a book i'll never write #love quote #writerscreed #spilled poetry #amwriting

[ninasdrafts]

Hey! I love your writing/drafts. Do you post stories as well? If so, where can I read them?

Hey, thank you so much! 😊 Not yet, but I'm hoping to start querying later this year and if it all works out you'll hopefully get my book at some point.

#ask

[ninasdrafts]

(shortened)

#writing #spilled ink #poetry #prose #quote #words #excerpt from a book i'll never write #writers on tumblr #quotes #creative writing #lit #literature #love quotes

[ninasdrafts]

Your heart cries out for me and you'd do anything to silence it. I'd know. I'd know because while you might've done your best to forget about it, I can't help but remember that our hearts used to beat to the same rhythm. The connection stands. It's feeble, but it's still there, even if you try to smother it. I guess if two people used to understand each other without words, it leaves a mark, no matter how much you want to cover it up. I admire you for not wanting to pick at scabs. For wanting to see your scars healed. For deleting photos and texts, and for looking for ways to avoid saying my name out loud. Would you change history if you could? Erase and rewrite, or blot out the paragraphs about us? You've always been a bad liar, so you can go on and say you don't miss me. I know the truth. I can see it when I close my eyes. I can hear it in a room filled with laughter, conversation and music. But I respect your decision - I pretend nothing is amiss every time my heart beats without yours close to it.

your heart cries out for me / n.j.

#except from a book i'll never write #writing #my words #my writing #poetry #spilled ink #writers on tumblr #words #quote #prose #creative writing #love quotes #inspiring quotes #friendship #friendship quotes #soulmates #quotes about life

[ninasdrafts]

“Lately I’ve been feeling closer to you than I have in years. I don’t know why - nothing happened to tell me we’d stand a chance now, changed and all grown up. Nothing happened to indicate you wanted to see me again. So why have I found myself wondering what you were doing, dreaming up scenarios of us together? Snuggled up on the sofa, my head in the crook of your arm, asking you about your day. In the car, holding hands between the seats, singing along to the radio. I don’t have an answer. If we met again what would even happen? I don’t recall what it’s like to be awkward around you, walking on eggshells, my voice soft and small. That’s not who I am anymore. Would you even recognise me? At this point I regret to say there are things about you I don’t remember, like the sound of your laughter, or the way you smell and it hurts to feel this way about you. It’s like we’ve only ever lived inside a memory together until one day I could no longer tell the exact shade of your eyes and the feel of your hair between my fingers, and it was over, just like that. I became too forgetful and outgrew what I thought I knew about you. I’ve been making up reasons why you would randomly think of me and I came up empty. So maybe you’re not really closer after all - I’m only starting to forget you while my mind is so set on remembering that it brings you up every once in a while, just in case. Just in case the world shifts and our paths cross again and our pieces fit together once more.”

— inside a memory / n.j.

#reblog #excerpt from a book i'll never write #writers on tumblr #creative writing #love quotes #lit

[ninasdrafts]

I remember. The night was still warm, the grass underneath my feet soft. You pulled me closer. You wanted to talk. I was tired of talking. The apology sat on your tongue, the one I deserved, but I didn't want to hear it. I asked you to tell me something worthwhile instead. You said you'd really tried to move on, but you ended up looking for me in everyone you started seeing. In everyone you talked to. In everyone you kissed. You said you'd never met anyone quite like me. I shouldn't have given in, should've told you that you'd had your chance, many of them. But this was the kind of attention I'd been starving for. The kind of warranty I'd demanded, even though there would never be an insurance. And true enough, a few months later I found you were slipping away from me again. Slowly but steady, like a river current. Your cups disappeared from my cupboard. Your shirts vanished from my drawer. Your hand slid out of mine. You might not remember it, now that you're happy, now that you've moved on - for real, this time. But I will remember. I'll always remember what you said to me that night.

remember that night / n.j.

#reblog #quote #excerpt from a book i'll never write #love quote #wordsnquotes

[ninasdrafts]

"A love you never have to heal from" is such a beautiful phrase, wow.

[ninasdrafts]

While this piece was very much inspired by a writing prompt, the back cover of the new TPD variant reminded me of it.

// YOU DON'T GET TO TELL ME ABOUT SAD //

- n.j.

@taylorswift 🤍

#writing #spilled ink #poetry #prose #quote #words #excerpt from a book i'll never write #writers on tumblr #quotes #creative writing #tpd #the tortured poets department #the bolter #taylor swift

[ninasdrafts]

After all these years, these thoughts are still what keeps you awake at night, even though you'd sworn to yourself you wouldn't go back there. I think it's because we faded over time. Quietly. Naturally. I didn't disappear from your life - the parts I gave to you just became smaller and smaller and one day you no longer recognised them as mine. Sometimes I find myself thinking it would've hurt less if there'd been a big fallout. If there'd been hurtful words and betrayals and ugly truths. My loud laughter faded to whispers. Whispers faded to silence. I belonged to you and then I didn't. And even though you don't want to, you find yourself lying awake in the middle of the night, your finger tracing the spot where I used to stretch out my hand, waiting for our palms to meet.

fading / n.j.

#except from a book i'll never write #writing #my words #spilled ink #creative writing #lit #literature #text #quotes #poetry #prose #quote #writers on tumblr #love quotes

[ninasdrafts]

This is for the book and writer girlies, aka ME! My time to shine

April 19 🤍 store.taylorswift.com

[ninasdrafts]

this, past tense

#my writing #writing #spilled ink #poetry #prose #quote #words #excerpt from a book i'll never write #writers on tumblr #quotes #creative writing

[ninasdrafts]

“Our story’s a real tragedy, isn’t it? There’s no start and no end, all we do is go in circles. We’re almost and we’re maybe and we’re nearly over and we have only begun, with no end in sight. We’re stuck in the middle and have nowhere left to run. We’re uncertain and loose ends, we’re heartbreak and the best that has ever happened, you to me and me to you. We were broken but we fixed each other, yet we came apart too often to be whole. We are so scared of getting hurt, we don’t see that being together is the only thing that cuts us open. Yet we can’t resist, can’t let go and don’t listen, we turn a blind eye to all that we are and all that we’ll never be.”

— on why two people who are no good for each other stay together, n.j. (via ninasdrafts)

#reblog #excerpt from a book i'll never write #my writing

[ninasdrafts]

reworked

#writing #spilled ink #poetry #prose #quote #words #excerpt from a book i'll never write #writers on tumblr #quotes #creative writing

[ninasdrafts]

“No matter how many years have gone by with us not talking, I could never completely cut you out of my life. I could never erase every last trace you’ve left behind. When two people go through so much together, it’s impossible to emerge unchanged. An inexplainable connection is forged that can withstand dark days and grief, but sometimes crumbles underneath something as relentless as time. I believe over the years we outgrow tiny parts of ourselves and when they have an impact on other people, we leave these fragments behind like footprints on their souls. In a way, I am the sum of the parts I created myself and of those others gave to me - most of them I got from you. You changed the way I looked at the world, so I guess it was only a matter of time until I picked up some of your habits. Truth is I still think of you when I drink hazelnut cappuccino or when that song we used to sing on karaoke nights plays on the radio. I can’t bear to throw away that mug you gave to me on my birthday twelve years ago. I wonder if there are moments that make you think of me. I hope they’re happy memories and don’t carry the weight of how our ways parted. You’re part of who I am today and I would never want to erase you. If I could give you one piece of me that stayed with you over the years and made you smile only once it’d be enough for me.”

— you’re part of who I am / n.j.

#reblog #excerpt from a book i'll never write #quote #spilled ink #writing

[ninasdrafts]

reworked

#writing #poetry #spilled ink #prose #quote #words #excerpt from a book i'll never write #writers on tumblr #quotes #creative writing #lit #literature #text