noahboltz

[noahboltz]

Mr Hippo and Orville having a picnic in public and Mr. Hippo buying bread implies that in the fnaf universe animatronics are just allowed to go around as if they were people. So what im saying is Baby is an edgy dramatic bitch who couldnt have just lived a normal life instead of forcing her and her friends to play legos with their body parts and become like that big machine from voltron and live in hiding. Anyways au where Baby escapes and lives with Orville and Mr. Hippo like simba with timone and pumba from the lion king. Give baby the gay uncles she deserves

[noahboltz]

*ahem*

Some of y’all really be out here hating on Captain Marvel for being “too OP” and shit and how she’s the worst superhero but I don’t see you coming at Superman with the same energy.

Y’all just mad thousands of young girls finally have a Marvel role model to look up to (besides Natasha) and that’s on female empowerment making you uncomfortable.

#im glad too! #thank you for YOUR nice words!

[noahboltz]

All gay people do is sit around and describe the tattoos we want to get when we have the money

[noahboltz]

The Feathered Bastards.

The Black Hen has pulled a bunch of her feathers because it's been over 90 here and she has a hard time staying cool. She is also a low ranking hen, so I think the others bully her. The others are being rather demanding and begging food from me.

[noahboltz]

[noahboltz]

Fuck the system

[noahboltz]

you know, if an adult is a nice person that’s not “innocence.” they learned how to actively be a good person. they’re not some eternal child

[noahboltz]

This is an experience I have had MANY times. We always just lock them all out, which is sad for the others who can’t go in to lay. Sometimes you can put out little pots or other soft or dark spaces and they’ll feel happy and safe laying in there.

My broody hen knows which part of the coop roof is directly above the nesting boxes, and she lays on that part of the roof as though she’s inside. It makes it easier to monitor her and stop her from plucking her feathers out, but it doesn’t seem comfortable for her!

I hope your lady starts feeling better!

So one of my chickens (Buff Orpington) is broody af. 

I’ve tried putting her out of the nesting boxes with the others, but she kept running back inside, then I tried closing up the coop, which forced the rest of my poor girls to have lay in the grass clippings and she squawked bloody murder the whole afternoon - following me from basement window to basement window. Tried to come inside the kitchen door to tell me off, but my dog herded her back outside. 

She wound up on the roof of the coop, fluffed up, screeching and idk what she was thinking to gain from that. 

Broody hens - for non-chicken keepers - are basically hens who’ve decided they are going to sit on eggs until they hatch and they will not eat or drink until there’s some baby chicks for her to mother. I do not own a rooster, so I can’t help her that way unfortunately. All we got is unfertilized eggs, and basically if she waits for the impossible to happen she’s likely going to die of starvation and dehydration.

Also, brooding is contagious and ALL of my chickens are Orpingtons so yikes.

In the end I had to put her in her own crate with food and water and no nesting whatsoever, just a perch. Yup, chicken jail.

She’s NOT a happy chicken, I can hear her having an absolute fit from inside the house. 

#buff orpington #broody #chickens

[noahboltz]

ORPINGTONS ARE THE BEST. I have 3, they’re all SUPER sweet, we held them a lot when they were young and now they’re VERY accustomed to humans and they squat when you bend over to pick them up. They are very fluffy, sweet, and beautiful. I love EVERYTHING about them.

That said, if you’re just getting them because you can’t get the ones you really want, don’t. If you know only a certain breed/species of animal will make you happy, don’t just get a different one as a replacement. they’re living creatures and deserved to be loved and wanted <3

I want Barhmas so bad but they're low key expensive to even just get the chicks. Anyone know anything about Orpingtons? They're about $2 less and from the basic info I found they seem good tempered.

#orpingtons #chickens

[noahboltz]

My chickens: *Are big, very stronk, tough, sharp claws, sharp strong beaks, smart, vicious, scary, will rip you apart with their talons, descendants of dinosaurs and it SHOWS*

Me, holding them so their legs dangle down and swaying them from side to side: BABY!! fluffy baby!! big round fluffy butt!! big feet!!

#animal lover #chickens #backyard chickens #buff #orpingtons #buff orpingtons #birb #dinosaur #babey #babeys

[noahboltz]

I don’t know what “godforsaken” means but it sounded cool when you said it

[noahboltz]

You may have a life but this is my 1,000th post on Tumblr so really which one of us comes out on top here

#tumblr #shitpost? #kinda? #1000th post #text post #why do i spend time on this godforsaken site

[noahboltz]

i don’t know anything about Homestuck but these 3 give me the vibes that if you put them all together you’d get Mettaton

Allow me to spin you a tale...

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Commission for an anonymous user!

#homestuck #undertale

[noahboltz]

i feel like i just had an encounter with jesus

[noahboltz]

nonbinary rights!!!

[noahboltz]

hmmm

[noahboltz]

Betelgeuse: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Barbara: Wasn’t Lydia with you?

Lydia: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.