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noforkingclue · 3 hours
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Thank you to @cillmequick to putting up with my ramblings about Slow Horses!
I've decided to dip my toe in the OC pool!
Name: Olivia Moher
Age: 28
Gender: female
Height: 5'7
Appearance: long incredibly thick dark brown curly hair. She's often complains about it but secretly it's her pride and joy. Large dark green eyes. Pale skin that burns easily and has an athletic build and has lots of freckles. Wears glasses and stubbornly refuses to wear contact lenses (hates the thought of touching her eyes)
Personality: tends to be quiet and observant at first. However, if there's something she feel s strongly about, she will speak her mind about it.
Likes: her work, maths, problem solving, going out to the pub with her team, cooking, pissing off River Cartwright, going to the gym
Dislikes: River Cartwright
Olivia works at The Park for one of Lamb's old colleagues from the Cold War. Unfortunately, one day her boss does something that pisses of Lady Di. As punishment, his team is forced to work alongside (and by that I mean babysit) Slough House. It's a warning that even Service legends don't have the immunity they thought they had.
Unfortunately for Olivia, she has to learn to hard way that Jackson Lamb is a man with a long memory and the ability to hold grudges for a long time. Neither of which, bodes well for her future in the Service or the rest of her team.
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noforkingclue · 6 hours
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STARTERS FOR DARK & TOXIC SHIPS
Lines taken from various forms of media for that particular brand of dark ships.
❛ You don’t want me to have anything in my life that’s not you. ❜
❛ You think you’d be happy with someone else? No way. I’m it. ❜
❛ I’ve killed for you. Who else can say that? ❜
❛ I’ll kill the whole bloody lot of them until you and I are the only people left in this world. ❜
❛ What have we done to each other? What will we do? ❜
❛ But the horror, the horror was for love. ❜
❛ This love burns you, maims you, twists you inside out. ❜
❛ It is a monstrous love, and it makes monsters of us all. ❜
❛ You lied to me! You poisoned me! You told me you loved me! ❜
❛ I love you, and it’s killing me. ❜
“I hate you”  –  “No you don’t.” ❜
❛ You’re killing me slowly. ❜
❛ I love you so, I’ll eat you whole. ❜
❛ Sorry about the blood in your mouth, I wish it was mine. ❜
❛ Tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us. ❜
❛ Something ugly in you, you also saw in me. ❜
❛ You ruin anything you touch, and destroy anyone you love. ❜
❛ You are coming down with me, hand in unloveable hand. ❜
❛ You say that you love me but you act like you don’t. ❜
❛ Imagine our children, how fucked would they be? ❜
❛ Don’t you know I’m no good for you? ❜
❛ When it’s going good, it’s great. But when it’s bad, it’s awful. ❜
❛ Your temper’s just as bad as mine is. You’re the same as me. ❜
❛ I know this love will tear me to pieces. ❜
❛ I loved you enough. You just never believed it. ❜
❛ Why can’t you just let me go? ❜
❛ We have been each other’s prisoner for a very long time. ❜
❛ You said that you loved me with your knife pressed against my throat. ❜
❛ I’d probably still adore you will your hand around my neck. ❜
❛ Our love is a monster, plain and simple. ❜
❛ I loved you as Icarus loved the sun: too close, too much. ❜
❛ Loving you was the most exquisite form of self-destruction. ❜
❛ It terrifies me what I would do for you. ❜
❛ There’s a difference between really loving someone and loving the idea of them. ❜
❛ We weren’t ourselves when we fell in love, and when we became ourselves – surprise! – we were poison. ❜
❛ We complete each other in the nastiest, ugliest possible way. ❜
❛ I would never kill you. Not in a million years. What I can do - what I will do is hurt you, worse than I did before. ❜
❛ You make me feel, and I don’t like it. I want it to stop. Now. ❜
❛ You are the knife I turn inside myself: that is love. ❜
❛ I say I want you inside me and you split me open with a knife. ❜
❛ If you love me, you don’t love me in a way I understand. ❜
❛ We love with claws and teeth and the blood is just proof of how much. It’s feral. ❜
❛ There is something wrong with you that is also wrong with me. ❜
❛ Love isn’t soft, like those poets say. Love has teeth which bite and the wounds never close. ❜
❛ I need you to be a monster. Which is to say, I’m trying not to love you. ❜
❛ Kiss me. Kill me. Do something. ❜
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noforkingclue · 10 hours
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Oh, no. No. No, no, no, no. Slow Horses – S02E05 – Boardroom Politics
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noforkingclue · 10 hours
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Can I ask that you do Billy Butcher (The Boys) x Fem s/o who has the power of the Scarlet Witch (Marvel); she is serene, and yet dangerous because of her magic and she is soft spoken please?
Hi!
Yes of course! I love writing for The Boys (especially Billy Butcher). I just need a few more details. Like whether you want it to be angst, fluff etc
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noforkingclue · 11 hours
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Totally forgot to put a picture up! But here’s my completed doll of Indira Gandhi 😊
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noforkingclue · 12 hours
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Slow Horses – S02E01 – Last Stop
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noforkingclue · 1 day
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Thank you so much for your comments!!! I'm so glad that you liked it :D
Duffy is such a cunt but that what makes him such a good villain! I had a lot of fun writing her exchange with Lady Di!
Lamb is the only one who can hurt his joes, especially when it's to cover up that he secretly cares about them (trying to keep the reader awake by causing her even more pain)
I'm so glad that I got everyone in character. I'm always concerned in case I don't manage that. Glad to know that I succeeded :D
Lasting Consequences
Summary: it's never fun to be invited back to The Park when you're a Slow Horse.
Author's Note: nah, no regrets. I swear I'll get back to multi-fandom writing soon. Well, until I start publishing details about my Slow Horses OCs...
Warnings: description of beating up a woman
Slow Horses tag list: @cillmequick
Everything tag list: @greenrevolutionary, @byebyebreezywrites spngingerbread21,  @layazul,  @lov3vivian, @simonsbluee
You let out a grunt as you were practically thrown into the uncomfortable metal chair. You glared at Duffy who effortlessly matched it with his own. If he thought you were going to go down easily then he had another thing coming. Maybe he thought you’d crack easily because you were a woman or maybe he just enjoyed picking on someone who he thought was weaker.
“L/n. Nice of you to join us.”
You broke your staring match with Duffy and locked gazes with Taverner. She gave you what she probably thought was a reassuring smile but after the kicking you had just received from Duffy, you were in a less than accommodating mood.
Whatever she wanted from you, she was going to have to work for.
“You can leave us Duffy.” she said
“But-”
“I said, leave.”
After only a second’s hesitation, which was too long for Taverner’s liking, Duffy left. Once the door locked behind him, Taverner pulled out a package of cigarettes and offered you one. You took it and inhaled the poisonous smoke. Yeah these things were probably going to kill you but working in Slough House made you care less about these things.
“So,” you said eventually, “I guess there’s a reason why you had Duffy drag me off the streets and give me a kicking.”
“He was only meant to bring you in. The beating was not part of the plan.”
You snorted and spat out a glob of blood. You smirked at the way Taverner wrinkled her nose.
“I see that working under Lamb has done little to improve your manners.” she said icily
“I’m too tired and sore to put on a show. Sorry.”
Usually you’d be more careful around Taverner but right now you didn’t care. Taverner leant back in her chair and steepled her fingers. You glanced at the mirror in the room and nodded towards it.
“Duffy listening in?” you asked
“For the sake of his career he better not be.”
“So, why even bring me here in the first place?” you asked
Taverner didn’t reply immediately. Instead she was looking at the packet of cigarettes, turning it over and over in her hand almost as though she was contemplating lighting one herself.
“How would you like a job?” she asked eventually
“I already have a job.”
She laughed and shook her head.
“Working in Slough House isn’t a job. It’s a punishment.”
“I get paid,” you said, “More than most people.”
“And still stuck at Slough House. Don’t tell me you like that place.”
“Who does?”
“So I’m here to provide you with an offer.”
This caused you to look up sharply. Taverner gave you a sharp smile as she put her elbows on the table and leant closer.
“How would you like to come back to The Park?”
You took another drag from your cigarette before stubbing it out on the table. You knew you were only pissing her off, a bad move but you were still sore from Duffy’s beating. Besides, The Park could afford to replace it.
“And what would I have to do to come back?” you asked
*
You stumbled out of The Park and glared at Duffy who kept a strong grip on your arm. Taverner followed closely behind and you froze when you saw Lamb waiting for you. He was leaning against his car and looked over when he heard you approach. Duffy practically threw you towards Lamb and you landed heavily against the car. You let out a hiss of pain and Lamb glanced towards you.
“Had fun?” he asked
“Yeah,” you said sarcastically, “loads.”
“Good to see again l/n,” said Duffy, “pity it wasn’t under more… pleasant circumstances.”
“L/n,” Taverner placed a hand on your shoulder, far more gentle than Duffy’s, “remember what I said.”
“Well this is nice and all,” interrupted Lamb, “but I got what I came for. L/n, get in the fucking car.”
You resisted the urge to roll your eyes as you slumped into the passenger seat. Lamb flicked his half lit cigarette at Duffy before getting into the driver's seat.
“Taken to beating up women now Nick,” Lamb tutted, “not very chivalrous of you.”
You didn’t fully hear Duffy’s response but it was something along the lines of Lamb not even being able to spell ‘chivalrous’. A thick silence settled over the two of you as you looked out of the window. It was late but London was still busy. Normal people with normal jobs and normal lives passing you by. You couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy towards them. They probably didn’t run the risk of being beaten up on a semi-regular basis.
“Oi,” Lamb’s sharp bark snapped you out of your thoughts, “what the fuck happened.”
“Don’t know. Why are you chaperoning me?”
“I’m not fucking chaperoning you,” there was a click of a lighter and smoke filled the car, “I fucking want to know what happened.”
“Duffy ambushed me.”
“Why.”
“To take me to The Park.”
You shut your eyes and you felt the comforting embrace of sleep come over you. If you were unconscious you didn’t have to acknowledge being stuck in a small space with Lamb. Unfortunately that didn’t last long and Lamb slammed on the horn.
“What the fuck!” you yelled
“Cyclist,” he grunted, “they think they own the fucking roads. Now, why did Duffy want you at The Park or did he just want you.”
He gave you a lecherous look which you returned with your own disgusted own.
“No thanks,” you said, “besides it wasn’t Duffy who wanted to speak to me. I think he was just pissed and wanted to take it out on someone who couldn’t fight back. Taverner wanted to speak to me.”
“Lady Di.”
“You don’t sound surprised.”
“No. She fucking walked you out didn’t she. Do you think I’m blind.”
You turned to look at him. Lamb’s gaze was seemingly fixed on the road ahead but you got the feeling that his mind wasn’t really on driving. It was almost as though he was just going through the motions. You bit your lip and looked away.
“She offered me a job.” you said at last
There was a second of silence before Lamb burst out laughing. The car swerved slightly and you gripped the side of the car desperately.
“Who the fuck would hire you?” he said
“Well clearly you seeing as you haven’t fired me yet.”
“There’s still time.”
“Aiding Duffy by adding in an extra kick while I’m down. You still haven’t told me why you picked me up.”
“Cartwright was fucking fretting,” he spat the word, “and it was fucking irritating. Why did Taverner offer you a job.”
“Because she wanted a spy in Slough House. Well,” you shrugged and winced, “she didn’t quite put it in those terms but that was basically what she meant.”
“And she went to you? Fucking hell she must be desperate. Maybe she thought that Duffy would’ve softened you up.”
“Well it didn’t fucking work. Wait, what do you mean? River was fretting?”
Lamb grunted as an answer and you rolled your eyes. Of course you weren’t going to get a straight answer out of him. You looked away from him and raised your hand to absentmindedly scratch an itch. However, you had forgotten that Duffy had busted your lip and you let out a hiss of pain as you scratched off the scab that had been forming. Blood dripped down your chin and you pressed the heel of your hand against the wound. You didn’t notice the way Lamb’s grip tightened on the wheel or how his jaw clenched.
“So when can I expect your resignation letter?” he asked, “Will it be alongside the fucking knife in my back?”
“I didn’t accept,” you said, “if I did my career would be reliant on Taverner. If she said jump I’d have to say how high. I’d have to do everything she’d ask.”
“And yet you have to do everything I tell you to do. Looks like you’re always destined to be someone’s dogsbody.”
You closed your eyes, too weak to argue back. Besides, if you did you’d just lose anyway. You settled back against the uncomfortable seats and tried to ignore the stench of old cigarettes and take away containers. However, Lamb slammed on the brakes and you lurched forward. Your seatbelt stopped you from slamming into the dashboard and you let out a pained groan.
“I think my ribs are broken,” you said, “Can you be a bit more careful?”
Lamb glanced at you out of the corner of his eye. You were slumped back against the car door, eyes half closed.
“I still need to do your debrief,” said Lamb, “so don’t go to fucking sleep. This is my car not a fucking hotel room.”
“Shouldn’t I be going to hospital?”
“No.”
You let out a groan and pressed your forehead against the cool glass. Stupid fucking Lamb. You knew you should be in the hospital but no. Clearly he decided that now was the perfect time to try and be a ‘responsible’ boss. As long as it caused you more pain it was good for him.
“Oi. Time to get out.”
You groaned as Lamb opened the car door, almost falling out. You hadn’t even realised that you had arrived at Slough House. You glanced around the alley as you slowly got out of the car.
“Can you even park here?” you asked
Lamb, who was already at the top of the stairs, gave you an unimpressed look and shrugged as he lit a cigarette. He leant against the railing as you slowly made your way to the top. You had expected him to barge straight in and complain about you being too slow. Instead, he flicked the half finished cigarette into a puddle before practically kicking the door down. Almost immediately the sound of footsteps thundered down the stairs.
“Y/n,” it was River, “is she here.”
“As much as she can be,” said Lamb, “was she ever fully fucking here in the first place.”
River appeared in the doorway, a desperate look on his face. When he saw your bruised face his expression turned stoney. Marcus wasn’t far behind and had a similar expression to River. River took a step towards you but Lamb stuck an arm out to prevent him.
“Dander,” Lamb barked, “Guy. Where the fuck are you? Deal with this,” he waved a hand at you, “make sure she doesn’t get blood everywhere.”
You were gently led up the stairs, Lousia supporting you. Shirley turned to follow when Lamb said,
“Where the fuck is Ho?”
“Trying to get into The Park’s CCTV.” Shirley said
“Why the fuck is he doing that? I didn’t tell him to do it.”
“We wanted to know where y/n was.”
“Well now you do. And tell Ho when he gets anything to give it to me.”
When Shirley disappeared up the stairs Lamb lit another cigarette and inhaled deeply. He’ll admit to himself, this wasn’t exactly how he pictured this evening going.
“I’m going to fucking kill him.”
Lamb glanced over at River and Marcus. River had his hands clenched and Lamb said,
“You still fucking here.”
“It was Duffy wasn’t it?” snapped River
“Worked that out by yourself?”
“So what are you going to do about it.”
“Right now. Nothing.”
“I’ll-”
“What,” Lamb finally turned around and faced River, “storm The Park again? Because ended really fucking well for you last time, didn’t it? What you’re going to do is stay the fuck here and try not to fuck anything up. Difficult for you I know.”
When Lamb finally stomped up the stairs River took a deep breath and ran his hands over his face.
“I’m going to kill him.” he said
“You said that already.” said Marcus
“Well I mean it.”
“And by ‘kill’ are you talking about Duffy or Lamb.”
“Does it matter.”
“Well,” Marcus gave River a bitter smile, “get in line.”
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noforkingclue · 1 day
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Lasting Consequences
Summary: it's never fun to be invited back to The Park when you're a Slow Horse.
Author's Note: nah, no regrets. I swear I'll get back to multi-fandom writing soon. Well, until I start publishing details about my Slow Horses OCs...
Warnings: description of beating up a woman
Slow Horses tag list: @cillmequick
Everything tag list: @greenrevolutionary, @byebyebreezywrites spngingerbread21,  @layazul,  @lov3vivian, @simonsbluee
You let out a grunt as you were practically thrown into the uncomfortable metal chair. You glared at Duffy who effortlessly matched it with his own. If he thought you were going to go down easily then he had another thing coming. Maybe he thought you’d crack easily because you were a woman or maybe he just enjoyed picking on someone who he thought was weaker.
“L/n. Nice of you to join us.”
You broke your staring match with Duffy and locked gazes with Taverner. She gave you what she probably thought was a reassuring smile but after the kicking you had just received from Duffy, you were in a less than accommodating mood.
Whatever she wanted from you, she was going to have to work for.
“You can leave us Duffy.” she said
“But-”
“I said, leave.”
After only a second’s hesitation, which was too long for Taverner’s liking, Duffy left. Once the door locked behind him, Taverner pulled out a package of cigarettes and offered you one. You took it and inhaled the poisonous smoke. Yeah these things were probably going to kill you but working in Slough House made you care less about these things.
“So,” you said eventually, “I guess there’s a reason why you had Duffy drag me off the streets and give me a kicking.”
“He was only meant to bring you in. The beating was not part of the plan.”
You snorted and spat out a glob of blood. You smirked at the way Taverner wrinkled her nose.
“I see that working under Lamb has done little to improve your manners.” she said icily
“I’m too tired and sore to put on a show. Sorry.”
Usually you’d be more careful around Taverner but right now you didn’t care. Taverner leant back in her chair and steepled her fingers. You glanced at the mirror in the room and nodded towards it.
“Duffy listening in?” you asked
“For the sake of his career he better not be.”
“So, why even bring me here in the first place?” you asked
Taverner didn’t reply immediately. Instead she was looking at the packet of cigarettes, turning it over and over in her hand almost as though she was contemplating lighting one herself.
“How would you like a job?” she asked eventually
“I already have a job.”
She laughed and shook her head.
“Working in Slough House isn’t a job. It’s a punishment.”
“I get paid,” you said, “More than most people.”
“And still stuck at Slough House. Don’t tell me you like that place.”
“Who does?”
“So I’m here to provide you with an offer.”
This caused you to look up sharply. Taverner gave you a sharp smile as she put her elbows on the table and leant closer.
“How would you like to come back to The Park?”
You took another drag from your cigarette before stubbing it out on the table. You knew you were only pissing her off, a bad move but you were still sore from Duffy’s beating. Besides, The Park could afford to replace it.
“And what would I have to do to come back?” you asked
*
You stumbled out of The Park and glared at Duffy who kept a strong grip on your arm. Taverner followed closely behind and you froze when you saw Lamb waiting for you. He was leaning against his car and looked over when he heard you approach. Duffy practically threw you towards Lamb and you landed heavily against the car. You let out a hiss of pain and Lamb glanced towards you.
“Had fun?” he asked
“Yeah,” you said sarcastically, “loads.”
“Good to see again l/n,” said Duffy, “pity it wasn’t under more… pleasant circumstances.”
“L/n,” Taverner placed a hand on your shoulder, far more gentle than Duffy’s, “remember what I said.”
“Well this is nice and all,” interrupted Lamb, “but I got what I came for. L/n, get in the fucking car.”
You resisted the urge to roll your eyes as you slumped into the passenger seat. Lamb flicked his half lit cigarette at Duffy before getting into the driver's seat.
“Taken to beating up women now Nick,” Lamb tutted, “not very chivalrous of you.”
You didn’t fully hear Duffy’s response but it was something along the lines of Lamb not even being able to spell ‘chivalrous’. A thick silence settled over the two of you as you looked out of the window. It was late but London was still busy. Normal people with normal jobs and normal lives passing you by. You couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy towards them. They probably didn’t run the risk of being beaten up on a semi-regular basis.
“Oi,” Lamb’s sharp bark snapped you out of your thoughts, “what the fuck happened.”
“Don’t know. Why are you chaperoning me?”
“I’m not fucking chaperoning you,” there was a click of a lighter and smoke filled the car, “I fucking want to know what happened.”
“Duffy ambushed me.”
“Why.”
“To take me to The Park.”
You shut your eyes and you felt the comforting embrace of sleep come over you. If you were unconscious you didn’t have to acknowledge being stuck in a small space with Lamb. Unfortunately that didn’t last long and Lamb slammed on the horn.
“What the fuck!” you yelled
“Cyclist,” he grunted, “they think they own the fucking roads. Now, why did Duffy want you at The Park or did he just want you.”
He gave you a lecherous look which you returned with your own disgusted own.
“No thanks,” you said, “besides it wasn’t Duffy who wanted to speak to me. I think he was just pissed and wanted to take it out on someone who couldn’t fight back. Taverner wanted to speak to me.”
“Lady Di.”
“You don’t sound surprised.”
“No. She fucking walked you out didn’t she. Do you think I’m blind.”
You turned to look at him. Lamb’s gaze was seemingly fixed on the road ahead but you got the feeling that his mind wasn’t really on driving. It was almost as though he was just going through the motions. You bit your lip and looked away.
“She offered me a job.” you said at last
There was a second of silence before Lamb burst out laughing. The car swerved slightly and you gripped the side of the car desperately.
“Who the fuck would hire you?” he said
“Well clearly you seeing as you haven’t fired me yet.”
“There’s still time.”
“Aiding Duffy by adding in an extra kick while I’m down. You still haven’t told me why you picked me up.”
“Cartwright was fucking fretting,” he spat the word, “and it was fucking irritating. Why did Taverner offer you a job.”
“Because she wanted a spy in Slough House. Well,” you shrugged and winced, “she didn’t quite put it in those terms but that was basically what she meant.”
“And she went to you? Fucking hell she must be desperate. Maybe she thought that Duffy would’ve softened you up.”
“Well it didn’t fucking work. Wait, what do you mean? River was fretting?”
Lamb grunted as an answer and you rolled your eyes. Of course you weren’t going to get a straight answer out of him. You looked away from him and raised your hand to absentmindedly scratch an itch. However, you had forgotten that Duffy had busted your lip and you let out a hiss of pain as you scratched off the scab that had been forming. Blood dripped down your chin and you pressed the heel of your hand against the wound. You didn’t notice the way Lamb’s grip tightened on the wheel or how his jaw clenched.
“So when can I expect your resignation letter?” he asked, “Will it be alongside the fucking knife in my back?”
“I didn’t accept,” you said, “if I did my career would be reliant on Taverner. If she said jump I’d have to say how high. I’d have to do everything she’d ask.”
“And yet you have to do everything I tell you to do. Looks like you’re always destined to be someone’s dogsbody.”
You closed your eyes, too weak to argue back. Besides, if you did you’d just lose anyway. You settled back against the uncomfortable seats and tried to ignore the stench of old cigarettes and take away containers. However, Lamb slammed on the brakes and you lurched forward. Your seatbelt stopped you from slamming into the dashboard and you let out a pained groan.
“I think my ribs are broken,” you said, “Can you be a bit more careful?”
Lamb glanced at you out of the corner of his eye. You were slumped back against the car door, eyes half closed.
“I still need to do your debrief,” said Lamb, “so don’t go to fucking sleep. This is my car not a fucking hotel room.”
“Shouldn’t I be going to hospital?”
“No.”
You let out a groan and pressed your forehead against the cool glass. Stupid fucking Lamb. You knew you should be in the hospital but no. Clearly he decided that now was the perfect time to try and be a ‘responsible’ boss. As long as it caused you more pain it was good for him.
“Oi. Time to get out.”
You groaned as Lamb opened the car door, almost falling out. You hadn’t even realised that you had arrived at Slough House. You glanced around the alley as you slowly got out of the car.
“Can you even park here?” you asked
Lamb, who was already at the top of the stairs, gave you an unimpressed look and shrugged as he lit a cigarette. He leant against the railing as you slowly made your way to the top. You had expected him to barge straight in and complain about you being too slow. Instead, he flicked the half finished cigarette into a puddle before practically kicking the door down. Almost immediately the sound of footsteps thundered down the stairs.
“Y/n,” it was River, “is she here.”
“As much as she can be,” said Lamb, “was she ever fully fucking here in the first place.”
River appeared in the doorway, a desperate look on his face. When he saw your bruised face his expression turned stoney. Marcus wasn’t far behind and had a similar expression to River. River took a step towards you but Lamb stuck an arm out to prevent him.
“Dander,” Lamb barked, “Guy. Where the fuck are you? Deal with this,” he waved a hand at you, “make sure she doesn’t get blood everywhere.”
You were gently led up the stairs, Lousia supporting you. Shirley turned to follow when Lamb said,
“Where the fuck is Ho?”
“Trying to get into The Park’s CCTV.” Shirley said
“Why the fuck is he doing that? I didn’t tell him to do it.”
“We wanted to know where y/n was.”
“Well now you do. And tell Ho when he gets anything to give it to me.”
When Shirley disappeared up the stairs Lamb lit another cigarette and inhaled deeply. He’ll admit to himself, this wasn’t exactly how he pictured this evening going.
“I’m going to fucking kill him.”
Lamb glanced over at River and Marcus. River had his hands clenched and Lamb said,
“You still fucking here.”
“It was Duffy wasn’t it?” snapped River
“Worked that out by yourself?”
“So what are you going to do about it.”
“Right now. Nothing.”
“I’ll-”
“What,” Lamb finally turned around and faced River, “storm The Park again? Because ended really fucking well for you last time, didn’t it? What you’re going to do is stay the fuck here and try not to fuck anything up. Difficult for you I know.”
When Lamb finally stomped up the stairs River took a deep breath and ran his hands over his face.
“I’m going to kill him.” he said
“You said that already.” said Marcus
“Well I mean it.”
“And by ‘kill’ are you talking about Duffy or Lamb.”
“Does it matter.”
“Well,” Marcus gave River a bitter smile, “get in line.”
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noforkingclue · 1 day
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If something upsets you, makes you angry or queasy or triggers you, stop reading/looking at it. Avoid things that might make you feel that way.
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On social media, block and mute accounts / tags / words when necessary.
If you hated something, you don’t need to tell that to the creator or start pointing fingers at them publicly.
The Back button is free. Use it.
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Addendum:
Yes, for this to work, creators need to tag their works accordingly, so that people know what sort of content they are about to engage with and can nope out if necessary.
I will probably make another PSA about the importance of proper tagging later.
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Ship And Let Ship
or SALS
You are allowed to ship whatever you want.
Everyone else is also allowed to ship whatever they want.
You are entitled to dislike or even hate a ship. If you want to do this online, in public, don’t use the ship tags for hate posts.
If you see someone posting about a ship they like and you don’t, there is no need for you to start arguing with them in their replies / comments / QRTs / reblogs. Don’t throw your hate in their face.
Do not harass fan creators or fans for shipping something you disapprove.
All of this also applies to liking / disliking an individual character.
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Addendum:
”I agree with this, except when…”
No, then you are NOT agreeing with this.
Let me make this VERY clear. There are NO exceptions. None.
You don’t EVER harass real people over pixels.
If you disagree with this, kindly block and move on.
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Your Kink Is Not My Kink
or YKINMK / YKINMKATO
The longer version is ”Your Kink Is Not My Kink And That’s Okay”.
People have different tastes. Not everything is for everybody.
Even if you don’t like a specific kink, other people are still allowed to use it in their creations.
You are entitled to dislike kinky content and think that it’s ”weird”.
Don’t kink shame or judge people based on their kinks.
This goes both ways: your kink is not someone else’s kink, so don’t push it onto those who are not into it.
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Be Kind
or Don’t Be An Asshole
Focus on the things you like instead of the things you hate.
Create and unite instead of destroying and dividing.
Don’t harass real people over fictional things.
Stop stirring up petty drama just to get some attention on social media.
Stop trying to ”win”. Fandom is not a competition.
Remember that your own experiences aren’t universally shared. Your perception of things can differ from someone else’s, but that doesn’t mean either of you is necessarily wrong.
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noforkingclue · 1 day
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Thank you so much for your comments ❤️
I’ll admit, I do have a bit of a weakness for ‘I didn’t know who else to turn to’ fics!
Patching Up (River Cartwright x reader)
Summary: the last thing you were expecting was a beaten up Cartwright to turn up on your doorstep in the middle of the night. But here he was and you had no other choice but to patch him up and to talk
Everything tag list: @greenrevolutionary, @byebyebreezywrites spngingerbread21,  @layazul,  @lov3vivian, @simonsbluee
You groaned softly and turned over in bed, pulling the covers over your head. When you heard your buzzer ring again you knew it wasn’t just some cruel dream. Glancing at your phone you were temporarily blinded by its screen and cursed when you saw it was two in the morning.
Whoever was at your door was going to pay.
Unless it was Lamb in which case you would have to wake up pretty quickly.
“Yes?” you said sleepily as you answered your intercom, silently hoping that it was a prank
“L/n?”
“Cartwright?” you could feel the exhaustion being replaced by anger, “what the fuck do you want?”
“Can I come up?”
“No. Now piss off.”
“Wait! Please, L/n. I… just please.”
You bit your lip as you contemplated what to do next. In your six months at Slough House you didn’t have too much to do with the infamous River Cartwright. Maybe it was because nothing had ever really happened when you had joined. You had heard about their previous ‘adventures’. Roddy in particular was keen to big up his role in them. Lamb had commented that now you had joined everything would go back to the way things should be. His joes back luck charm, if things were to continue how they should.
“Fine,” you said eventually, “but you fucking owe me one.”
You pressed the buzzer to let him in and waited for Cartwright by your open door. You pulled your dressing gown tightly around you and hoped that your angry expression would mask any sort of curiosity. That didn’t last long when you saw Cartwright slowly come up the stairs.
“Fucking hell River,” you said as you ushered him into your flat, “what the fuck happened to you?”
“Guess.”
“Either The Dogs or Lamb.”
“The first one.”
“Fuck.”
Any form of potential violence against him had disappeared at the sight of his bruised and bloodied face. He gave you a small smile and quickly winced as you, gently, pushed him into your kitchen. Once you were sure that your flat was safely locked up (how safe it would be if The Dogs came to get you, you didn’t know) you turned your attention back to your patient.
“I have questions.” you said
“Not surprised.”
“Firstly, what did you do to piss off Duffy this time? Or was it just your general existence that annoyed him.”
River grunted in response so you assumed the latter. You grabbed an ice pack from your freezer and wrapped it in a towel.
“For your black eye,” you said, “hold this against it for about ten or twenty minutes. Should reduce the swelling.”
“I know how to deal with a black eye.”
“Why doesn’t that surprise me? Now, my other questions.”
“Do we have to do this now?”
“Yes,” you grabbed a bowl of warm water and some paper towels, “out of everyone in Slough House, why me? Like I understand not Lamb or Roddy. But you’ve known Lousia and Catherine for longer than me. Marcus, well, I’m sure he’d patch you up but I doubt his wife and kids would appreciate a bloodied spook turning up on their doorstep. As for Shirley…”
You trailed off and shrugged.
“I’d say 50-50 on whether she’d help or just laugh.”
“Thanks.” River said dryly
“You’re welcome.”
River hissed slightly when you wiped at his nose a little harsher than necessary. You gave him a pointed look as you leant against your kitchen table. You tilted his head back and said,
“I don’t think your nose is broken.”
“It’s not.”
“And you should know.”
“Repeating a ‘joke’ from earlier. Running out of material?”
“Not when you’re right in front of me. You provide me with an endless source.”
You frowned when you saw him holding his ribs.
“And your ribs? Are they broken?”
“Don’t think so.”
“You should probably get that checked out.”
River let out a grunt of acknowledgement and you rolled your eyes. That was River for ‘I know you’re right but I’m not going to do that’.
“You still haven’t answered my question.” you said as you continued to clear him up
“Which was?”
“Why did you come to me?”
River bit his lip and looked away. You grimaced when you saw that expression and you knew that getting River to answer that question was going to be a struggle. You tossed a bloodied tissue into the bowl of now pinkish water and sighed.
“Well it’s late,” you said, “so you can crash here tonight. Your shirt is going to need to be chucked in the wash to get the blood out. Sooner rather than later so the blood doesn’t set in but I guess you knew that already.”
You were expecting some quip about you wanting to see him shirtless but none came. You pursed your lips and started to move away when River’s hand shot out and grabbed your wrist. He wasn’t looking at you and he absentmindedly rubbed circles against it.
“I came to you,” he said slowly, “because I trust you.”
Trust.
Trust in your line of work was a dangerous word. You couldn’t help but be surprised at this admission. Trust was something that could be exploited by the wrong people. You weren’t expecting this admission of weakness from River.
“You trust me.”
River glanced up at you and gave you a small smile.
“Yeah, I do.”
“Well, it’s a good thing that I… trust you too. I’ll grab a spare pillow and blanket and you can have the sofa.”
You had almost left the room when River called,
“Oh, and y/n-”
You could practically hear the smirk in his voice and you called back,
“Say what I think you’re going to say and I’ll kick you out!”
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noforkingclue · 1 day
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Jack Lowden (River Cartwright) in Slow Horses
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noforkingclue · 2 days
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A bit more for you guys...
Eventually the bite goes out of the jabs. River and Spider just accept that they're going to be seeing each other when you're around. They might not like it but they're tolerating it for your sake.
One night the two of them are around your flat. River had another (unsurprisingly) bad day in Slough House and Spider was following his instincts about River being there. The three of you are crashed on your sofa, eating pizza and drinking wine
("Careful Spider, you might get grease on your cufflinks. Do you want a knife and fork? A plate? Maybe a bib."
"Fuck off Cartwright")
Eventually you drift off to sleep. Your leaning against Spider with your legs chucked over River's lap. Spider gently takes the wine glass from your hand so it doesn't spill everywhere.
"If you care about her," Spider said, "You'd leave her alone."
River glances at his former friend out of the corner of his eye. He clenches his jaw before forcing himself to relax. It wouldn't be good to punch Spider while you're here.
"How do you think it looks for her to been seen with a Slow Horse."
"And what about you?" said River, "You're hardly in Taverner's good books anymore."
"I know how to handle that," Spider turned to fully look at River, "believe me."
A tense silence filled the room. River looked back down at you and rubbed circles on your knee with his thumb. Unfortunately Spider was right. He wouldn't do your career any good. The name 'Cartwright' had now become permanently linked with 'fuck up'. He just couldn't let the one good thing in his life slip through his fingers.
Ok, right, slightly strange idea...
(I also have some more ideas including some dark ones which I might talk about later if people are interested)
Absolutely disaster James 'Spider' Webb x reader x River Cartwright
Like you knew both River and Spider before River became persona non grata at The Park. You work in admin so you know a little bit about everything but you're not trained as a Spook.
Imagine that scene in S1 where River has to deliver a package to Spider and you come into his office. River is surprised about seeing you and Spider is all smirky.
"Here are the files you asked for James."
"Please, call me Jim."
(there's a funny bit in the second book where Spider tries to get some Russians to call him Jim)
"Right... River good to see you again. Oh fuck, what happened to your hand?"
You sit down in the other chair and gently take his hand. River resisted to urge to smirk. Spider's looking pissed off and doesn't bother trying to hide it.
"Oh nothing," River said, "Just burned it on a grill."
"Well you ought to be more careful in future. See you around."
River watches you leave before turning back to Spider.
"Shouldn't you be going?" said Spider, "More things to fuck up?"
"Whatever you say, Jim."
"And don't fucking call me that."
You're the only person at The Park the River knows he can rely on although he has to be careful. He doesn't want to fuck up your career but at the same time he trust you. Your one of the few people he can call when he's in trouble.
For example, River calling you when he's injured. He needs to go to hospital but no ambulances. It has to be as off the record as possible. Now, you can drive and River is physically unable to so what do you do?
Call Spider.
Spider doesn't want to help River. In fact he's only helping because you asked.
"Slow down," you said, "you shouldn't be going this speed in Central."
"Yes well," snapped Spider, "I don't want Cartwright's blood to stain my seats."
"Why did you have to call him?" asked River who was leaning against you
"Well you decided to call the person who can't drive," you said, "not your finest hour."
"He crashed Stansted and this is what you're saying isn't his finest hour?"
"You set me up with that!" shouted River
"Hey, hey, hey," you said stroking his head, "easy. Don't get too excited."
As Spider glance back at the two of you in his rear view mirror an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. That was probably to do with the fact that Cartwright is practically lying in your lap and despite his injury, was still able to look smug.
Yes, it's probably a toxic mess with River and Spider fucking despising each other.
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noforkingclue · 2 days
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I have zero regrets about being responsible for your Slow Horses/River Cartwright unhingery, hahaha
Hello! What fics are you reading at the moment? Or what fics are on your reading list (if you have one)?
Hi! How are you?
So, I wish I was organised enough to have a reading list and frankly I should have one, but the truth is that I am a chaotic mess and usually just grab onto whatever’s in front of me at any given moment 🙈 I apologise unreservedly to my mutuals for being a slightly crap reader 🤦🏼‍♀️
However, here is a non-exhaustive list of things I’m reading or have good intentions to catch up on…
Fuck Buddies - @garrison-girl-08
Scandal - @garrison-girl-08
Blind Date - @garrison-girl-08
Misadventures - @moral-terpitude - I’m SO behind but I adore this story and it deserves tonnes more love than it gets!
Time After Time - @all-mirth-no-matter - also very behind but it’s amazing!
Now You Know The Truth - @zablife - I need to catch up!
Nobody’s Girl - @darklydeliciousdesires - not started yet but I love this woman to death and am living for her Luca era 🤭
Heart, Body and Soul - @peakyswritings - another I’ve not started but intend to!
Shadow of the Sea - @lunarubra - a new writer in our midst! Check out her new Cillian x OC series (as ever I need to catch up!)
Basically everything by @emotionalcadaver but esp I need to finish her In Time series and I want to at some stage read her wonderful peaky stories with my darling Lucy who I feel I already know so well 🤍
And then not specific fics but writers I try and read when I see they post, depending on character and whatnot, though YOU should read everything they write because they are marvellous humans:
@peakyscillian
@scorpiussage
@justrainandcoffee
@runnning-outof-time
@kiss-me-cill-me
@noforkingclue - who is responsible for for my current Slow Horses/ River Cartwright / Jack Lowden unhingery 😂 I’m also looking for stories for that fandom but it is teeny weeny.
I’m bound to have forgotten something or someone so check back for any ‘oh shit!’ updates 😂
And finally, for people reading this, please do try and leave comments or contact writers if you enjoy something you’ve read. It makes their whole day 🤍
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noforkingclue · 2 days
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he's my favorite guy
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noforkingclue · 2 days
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SLOW HORSES 3.02
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noforkingclue · 3 days
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Slow Horses S3 BTS by @giseleschmidtofficial <3
Part 2
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noforkingclue · 3 days
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SLOW HORSES Strange Games
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