normal-horoscopes
normal-horoscopes
Normal Horoscopes
MAKING YOUR DAY A LITTLE MORE MAGIC WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT TWITTER PATREON MERCH THE DECK
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normal-horoscopes · 4 hours ago
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Omg guys I heard that dracula is hosting the next Saturday Night Dead
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normal-horoscopes · 4 hours ago
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WHOEVER TAGGED THIS AS KING SOLOMON STOP BEING FUNNIER THAN ME
HEY HAS ANYONE SEEN LIKE 400 MAGICALLY CONJURED EFFEMINATE BOYS? THEY ESCAPED CONTAINMENT IN THE WIZARD CASTLE
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normal-horoscopes · 5 hours ago
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A lot of that is speculation. Most books about Hitlers relationship to the occult (meaning the goodrick Clark books I've read on the subject) paint him as deeply mistrustful of science, into Germanic mythology, and incredibly superstitious, but likely not a student of the occult.
He was deeply mistrustful of established science but also looked down on anything that was too woo-y. To draw an analogy, Hitler was the sort of guy who would be really into "the power of the mind" and snake oil vitamin supplements but would actively give you shit for mentioning that you're a Capricorn.
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normal-horoscopes · 6 hours ago
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id definitely seek out apprenticeship to a court wizard. id want to read a tome, id want to cast a spell with my hands or a staff, and do general sorcery. but id probably realize that my magic comes with a price, the price of maintaining balance; such a balance could not be struck in the walls of a castle or under the rule of royalty. so id defect to the wild and become scraggly like a tree, and id stink like dirt. id meld into the forest and protect the trees which are so dear to us in ways only a wizard could know. id give my woodland a frightening reputation as a place where one treads quite lightly among even twigs and stones on the forest paths. but id actually be quite nice to my visitors, were there any, because i want to cause love for this place, not fear. id probably grow quite ancient and become a tree myself from being simply so old… and then id have many friends like me, travelers who, rooting out of love, found themselves planted among friends. thats what id do i think
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normal-horoscopes · 7 hours ago
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Yeah I was gonna say, it looks like he's gotten in on the same supplement train Alex Jones is on
Joe rogans a HEAVY conspiracy theorist, not an attack at you because it seems like you actually didn't know but I would say he's def problematic in some sort of way other than just "doesn't have a moral compass"
Huh. Last time I read up on him there was none of that, but I'm not surprised.
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normal-horoscopes · 8 hours ago
Oh wow yeah he really doubled down on the antivax shit huh
Joe rogans a HEAVY conspiracy theorist, not an attack at you because it seems like you actually didn't know but I would say he's def problematic in some sort of way other than just "doesn't have a moral compass"
Huh. Last time I read up on him there was none of that, but I'm not surprised.
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normal-horoscopes · 8 hours ago
Ah I see. Last time I read up on him was before the pandemic. This explains a lot.
Joe rogans a HEAVY conspiracy theorist, not an attack at you because it seems like you actually didn't know but I would say he's def problematic in some sort of way other than just "doesn't have a moral compass"
Huh. Last time I read up on him there was none of that, but I'm not surprised.
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normal-horoscopes · 8 hours ago
Joe rogans a HEAVY conspiracy theorist, not an attack at you because it seems like you actually didn't know but I would say he's def problematic in some sort of way other than just "doesn't have a moral compass"
Huh. Last time I read up on him there was none of that, but I'm not surprised.
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normal-horoscopes · 9 hours ago
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Genealogy Commission Post:
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Hello! I'm Chaviv, a Jewish butch lesbian and genealogist always looking for clients. I do record research through ancestry.com, findagrave, and multiple different genealogical databases and independent record research depending on need. I have experience researching people of a vast array of different ethnicities, family histories, and backgrounds.
I am a thorough researcher and have helped over 400 people, people who can testify to the quality of my work. I charge on a scale of $35, $55, or $75 an hour depending on what people can pay. This is a fair price for the level of quality and research I put into the work that I provide. For commission inquiries, comment and I will DM you more about my process.
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normal-horoscopes · 9 hours ago
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I’m finally making some more progress on my playing card tarot after a truly crazy couple of months. I especially like the nine of wands
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normal-horoscopes · 10 hours ago
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CHAPTER 75 IS UP
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normal-horoscopes · 12 hours ago
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The Royal Signs II:
Aries: The first king. A colossal man with skin like freshly tilled earth and a voice that could calm the old wild things. Colossal, gentle hands. The first shepherd of rocks and clay. Molding the wild into home. 
Taurus: An exile by birthright, a king by deeds. A tale of honorable revenge and lifelong friendships cut short. A life on horseback that left in its wake an empire, and countless pillars to the dead. 
Gemini: The ghost of a princess. Ever a lady in waiting, she wanders the halls of an abandoned palace. Hands from the ash. The burning silhouette of a child. All those who seek to defile her home will know flame as she did. 
Cancer: Identical twin princes. The reigns of empire won by blood now passed to them. To the surprise of a nation, able to share the throne. Ever deliberating, never moving without consensus. Diplomats, delegates, scholars, and magicians. Memories of mother. Each carries one half of the daisho.
Leo: The high priestess. Ritually sharpened teeth. Rivers of blood washed away by conjured rainstorms. Liaison to the god that sleeps below the great temple. The speaker to the forbidden sun.
Virgo: The Witch Queen. The Wardbreaker. The Mother of Hexes. Armies from the north that could call fire from their hands, wounds healed with the sermons of foreign gods. Captured officers. Secret research in the ancestral necropolis. New magic, gentle and deep as the night. 
Libra: The mushroom king! The mushroom king! The mushroom king! The mushroom king! The mushroom king! The mushroom king!
Scorpio: The King-of-Five-Crowns. An empire won by respect and might. Retirement. Evenings spent in the summer palace, teaching grandchildren to paint. 
Ophiuchus: An empress of honey and sun-baked gold. Honored dead bound in white cloth. Eternal servitude to their holy queen. Consul from centuries of royalty now passed.
Sagittarius: The Lady of the Grove. Revelries by moonlight. Distant songs in the mist. Lost children. There is a road through the forest, it has since been omitted by mapmakers. 
Capricorn: The middle child of a royal bloodline. Exile to a monastery. A lifetime of meditation on divinity and craft. A heart of clockwork. Mummified in the calculus of the world. 
Aquarius: A penitent queen. Now an adviser to those who overthrew her son. A veil in mourning, but not for him. Deep, terrible understanding of what makes a tyrant.
Pisces: An all-to-young queen. Inheritor to a throne built on war and blood. Ceremonial jewelry that resembles the armament of her knights. A legacy of imperium and bloodshed. A vow to do differently. 
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normal-horoscopes · 14 hours ago
can i have a fortune? i offer you a rock painted in pride colours, a forever unfinished story, and the zip from a coat my best friend owned
A NEW SWEATER AND AN OLD CAT
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normal-horoscopes · 14 hours ago
may i have a fortune? i offer some self mixed berry red colour, a hair pin and some sunshine i caught in a bottle
AN OLD BOOMBOX A SHOTGUN SHELL AND A PIECE OF MUSIC FROM MINECRAFT
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normal-horoscopes · 14 hours ago
may i have a fortune? i bring a half-made kandi bracelet, a warm cup of hazlenut coffee, and hope
AN OWL STATUE A SNAIL AND A PAIR OF SUNGLASSES THAT ARENT YOURS BUT THAT YOU LOVE ANYWAY
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normal-horoscopes · 14 hours ago
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CHAPTER 75 IS UP
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normal-horoscopes · 16 hours ago
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The Signs and Gates:
Aries: The space between two mountains in the distance. The sky looks different. You can hear the beating of colossal wings.
Taurus: The fault line. A cliff where there was a field two weeks prior. The soil concealed a plate of polished black stone.
Gemini: The sudden sense that the bathroom rug is covering a hole. Stepping on it would cause you to fall into the pit. You cant seem to take your eye off it.
Cancer: Now entering a town with a four digit population. The gas station is adorned with thousands of wind chimes. There is no wind.
Leo: An overgrown cemetery. Its significance is lost to time. Paupers and kings feeding the roots of young trees. 
Virgo: The sky outside is grey. The window is fogged up with rain. Light and shapes dance in the blurry patterns.
Libra: The space behind the desks at the public library. A tiny place of dust and lost pens, yet it seems so far away.
Scorpio: A statue holds a lantern over the path. Its features are rough and weathered. The lamp is still bright.
Ophiuchus: A log fallen over a river. It absolutely feels like a trap. 
Sagittarius: The staircase overlooking the ballroom. Colors feel brighter, hazier, as you move down.
Capricorn: The deepest room of an old aluminum refinery. The great steel heart. You feel bigger here somehow.
Aquarius: A colossal grey boulder now cracked open like an egg. It reveals the glittering geode inside. 
Pisces: An abandoned wolf den. 
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normal-horoscopes · 18 hours ago
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IT IS AMBER SKY SATURDAY
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normal-horoscopes · 18 hours ago
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i’m really sorry to have to make this post, my mom and I are about 100 220$ short for rent this month after bills & a halved food budget, and thats not even factoring in the upcoming dental work for my cracked tooth. as anyone following me may know, ive spent about a third of this year in the hospital so writing commissions are all i can do to bring in money (and its not much), and the rest of the year has consisted of being in pain or putting up with my qanon-following landlady who doesnt like me for .. obvious reasons, or both. shes ready to evict us for anything she can so if anyone can spare 5-10$ towards a poor trans woman & her mom’s rent that’d be ……… very kind and a big help, thank you :(   paypal.me/justjuna cash.me/$junabugs
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normal-horoscopes · 18 hours ago
Considering how much circumstantial evidence there is that Blavatsky straight-up lied about a bunch of things (eg, claiming to study in Tibet when basically nobody could get into Tibet), I think calling her intentions "pure" is a stretch, lol
Oh yeah she obviously made all that shit up, but her goal was to create a “universal brotherhood”, a theological framework under which every human religion could unite.
A noble but deeply naive goal. Blavatsky didn’t understand that maybe hindusim didn’t really want to be united with Christianity etc.
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