notsayingthisright
I'm Not Saying This Right
Admirer of dogs and cats, owner of a fishbowl full of dice. Photographer of very nice flowers, sometimes. STILL crying about The Untamed. They/them/theirs.
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if he was still alive I know in my heart that Terry Pratchett would have done a bit about Igors and Igorinas doing gender confirmation surgery by now. going into a lab full of bubbling vials and picking out a penis from a tank the way you pick a lobster. that one, please. you gotta be careful though because they'll really try to upsell you into getting two or three installed. people going to the clinic as pairs and just having parts swapped out for a discounted rate. maybe you actually just trade brains, that's even easier. Igorth have already been doing that thurgery for thenturieth.
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You might not want to hear this but people with anger issues and/or violent impulses need social accommodations. And no by accommodation I don鈥檛 mean walking on eggshells around them, actual accommodations for people with these issues comes down to giving them a space away from what鈥檚 triggering them to process their emotions and calm themselves down same as what kind of accommodations people who get sensory overload or just any kind of overwhelmed. There is no moral value to having anger issues or violent impulses, people with them are deserving of accommodation the same as everyone else.
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Nietzsche believed that you鈥檝e gotta be able to think about suicide before you can move beyond wanting to kill yourself because only once you鈥檝e accepted it as an option can you make the choice not to do it, and the alternative, to deny the urge and ignore it, would inevitably cause you to cave to the unaddressed desire you have for it.
And the dude was right.聽
The rogue鈥檚 gallery of psych students and junior practitioners on this hellsite have hijacked my post about not being mean to yourself to explain to people how actually what I鈥檓 talking about is cognitive-behavioral therapy, and how it involves disciplining yourself to never talk negatively about yourself and how it鈥檚 important to check with a therapist that you鈥檙e doing it correctly, and like, this is why I don鈥檛 trust and can鈥檛 stand these people.
Being your own friend is a holistic process, there aren鈥檛 exercises you can do or therapy methods you can apply, which is why most people relapse almost immediately after stopping CBT or DBT, because they haven鈥檛 actually made any progress in how they look out for themselves, they were merely thrust into a disciplinary regimen where they are taught to engage in habits which their therapist then holds them accountable to, and so, without that therapist, they fall apart again.
Not being mean to yourself doesn鈥檛 mean censoring self-deprecating humor, it doesn鈥檛 mean snapping a rubber band on your wrist when you have a negative thought, it means taking time to sit down and think about yourself as if you were another person, to really take stock of who you are from as objective a perspective as you can muster, and if you really want to grow, realizing that this person you see can鈥檛 grow if the person closest to them, which is you, spends all their time berating them and making them feel like shit.
Being friends with yourself is not a series of therapeutic exercises, it鈥檚 challenging yourself to evaluate why you鈥檙e a dick to yourself in a way you aren鈥檛 to other people, or maybe you are a dick to other people, and maybe you want to be a dick to yourself, which is goofy as fuck, but if you鈥檙e still suffering, maybe ask yourself why the fuck you want to be such a dick, the answers may surprise you.
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Nietzsche believed that you鈥檝e gotta be able to think about suicide before you can move beyond wanting to kill yourself because only once you鈥檝e accepted it as an option can you make the choice not to do it, and the alternative, to deny the urge and ignore it, would inevitably cause you to cave to the unaddressed desire you have for it.
And the dude was right.聽
The rogue鈥檚 gallery of psych students and junior practitioners on this hellsite have hijacked my post about not being mean to yourself to explain to people how actually what I鈥檓 talking about is cognitive-behavioral therapy, and how it involves disciplining yourself to never talk negatively about yourself and how it鈥檚 important to check with a therapist that you鈥檙e doing it correctly, and like, this is why I don鈥檛 trust and can鈥檛 stand these people.
Being your own friend is a holistic process, there aren鈥檛 exercises you can do or therapy methods you can apply, which is why most people relapse almost immediately after stopping CBT or DBT, because they haven鈥檛 actually made any progress in how they look out for themselves, they were merely thrust into a disciplinary regimen where they are taught to engage in habits which their therapist then holds them accountable to, and so, without that therapist, they fall apart again.
Not being mean to yourself doesn鈥檛 mean censoring self-deprecating humor, it doesn鈥檛 mean snapping a rubber band on your wrist when you have a negative thought, it means taking time to sit down and think about yourself as if you were another person, to really take stock of who you are from as objective a perspective as you can muster, and if you really want to grow, realizing that this person you see can鈥檛 grow if the person closest to them, which is you, spends all their time berating them and making them feel like shit.
Being friends with yourself is not a series of therapeutic exercises, it鈥檚 challenging yourself to evaluate why you鈥檙e a dick to yourself in a way you aren鈥檛 to other people, or maybe you are a dick to other people, and maybe you want to be a dick to yourself, which is goofy as fuck, but if you鈥檙e still suffering, maybe ask yourself why the fuck you want to be such a dick, the answers may surprise you.
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