notstinglesstoo

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the mortifying ordeal of Sending First Message

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Endless Fantasy High

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thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

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she's a business woman!

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i think one of the most important things you learn about making connections with others is that a significant portion of the time people just do not know theyre doing what theyre doing

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the intrepid heroes reached new levels of Accurate Teenage Friendship tonight

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Selina Kyle would dump his ass in minutes..

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$122,000. And the thing is so shodily designed that the accelerator can become that easily stuck. It isn't even all one piece.

$122,000. That's more than my entire household income, and we're 3 adults with full-time jobs.

If you gave that $122,000 to Feeding America, that would provide over 1 million meals.

That's $122,000 more than Tesla paid in taxes.

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cat jpeg made me emotional so i drew it

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HAPPENING NOW: texas state troopers are menacing a pro palestine protest on ut austin's campus. AN ENCAMPMENT HASNT EVEN BEEN ESTABLISHED YET

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your name is kipperlily copperkettle.

there is a knife in your hand and rage in your heart like a twenty four pointed star. like a name you dont know. like fire.

(we keep the fire lit, a girl you once knew would say. you keep the fire lit for her. you cant remember if you killed her or not.)

your name is kipperlily copperkettle. there is a girl who comes to school a mess and takes her clothes off in the hallway and doesnt seem to care about anything. there is a girl who has let not one but two gods die. there is a girl who brought a god back from beyond death with the force of her conviction.

(you once knew a girl that you admired for her conviction. a girl that was too stubborn for her own good. why can’t you remember whether or not you killed her?)

your name is kipperlily copperkettle. there is a boy in your party that you requested specifically. he worships a god that a girl you think you hate once worshipped. he seems like he only worships this god out of habit. conviction seems uglier on him than it does on her.

(you aren’t sure who you mean when you think ‘her’. there are two girls who it might mean. one of them is dead. there is a knife in your hand.)

your name is kipperlily copperkettle. you want the success that seems to come easy to her and nothing you do will ever get you there. the thing you’re striving for doesn’t exist. you know that and pretend you don’t because when you tell yourself something, it becomes true.

(you can’t remember if you killed her, so you tell yourself you didn’t. the lie tastes like honey on your tongue.)

your name is kipperlily copperkettle and the girl you think you hate is stronger than you could have ever known. she and her friends tear through the world like wet paper and you have to watch it happen. a boy who breathes ugly conviction watches with you, though he doesn’t know it.

(you have a knife in your hand and you smile at her as you slit his throat. his blood is hers on your hands. can you make her conviction ugly when you make what’s his hers?)

(you’re still not sure who you mean when you say her.)

your name is kipperlily copperkettle.

there is a knife in your hand.

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i have not stopped thinking about this moment for a week

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odin is like “when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bell”

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on the one hand, extremely funny to get told “get help” by a fortune cookie, on the other, i can’t believe betterhelp has breached influencers and podcasters and started getting fortune cookies to shill for them

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My favorite mermaid art is the one of a family photo with a mermaid mother and old sailor father and their sons are both reverse merfolk (human legs with fish heads).