Women are from Venus because it rhymes with penis (thing that women have) and men are from Mars because if you rearrange the letters in 'mars' you get 'arms' (thing that men have)
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you have to understand:
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the 3.5mm headphone jack was the wound through which light entered your phone it was a little cave for angels to live in inside your phone and big tech got rid of it cause theyre scared of God the wrong way
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*sassy gay friend from a 90s sitcom voice* Well, Mr. Emperor, I wouldn't mind having a 'heavenly man-date' of my own
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there's just something so funny to me about shitty harvests
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Serial killer in baltimore: *Tries to show off*
Hannibal Lecter:
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they're the same
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literally my favorite type of tweet
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Decadence
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image of all time
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so fucked up that spongebob squarepants is a children's show that can't feature alcohol because squidward would look right at home cuntily swirling a glass of red wine
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Drosselmeyer: the human embodiment of the ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ emote
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got hired for my first "real" job today, wedding in almost 3 weeks, moving across the country in less than two months, wow
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