nympherie

[nympherie]

My whole life I've wanted to fucking kill myself but the guilt has always been too much. The guilt of leaving my family, my friends, wondering if they could have done something differently. The idea that I can spare them that pain is the only reason I've stuck around so long.

But with that, nobody tells you the creeping desire to become deathly ill. Or get into a car crash. Or be in the wrong place at the wrong time when somebody's robbing the bank. I just want a fucking out so bad. I am so fucking tired.

And it seems like I have two options: medicate myself into oblivion so I can't feel anything and am essentially just a zombie that always wants a nap.

Or I can be this. A fucking rage monster that distills all this anger all day into bone crippling depression. Now that I'm off the meds the sa has started creeping back in. I just want a fucking break.

I'm half tempted to just take the meds again, because what's the fucking point. I hate me like this, so why am I trying so hard to feel like myself again?? Whatever idea of self I wanna get back to died a loooooong time ago

Sometimes I remember being in elementary school and being in so much pain, wanting it to end. I remember taking a shower and putting my hair in braids because that would be the night I did it. But I chickened out

And all these years later I wonder what would have happened if 10 year old me had just done the damn thing

#trigger warning #self harm #depression #personal #long term depression

[nympherie]

1, 2, or 3?? 🤌😝

#self #me #face

[nympherie]

Sometimes I really only like the way I act around strangers.

#personal

[nympherie]

Freedom and liberal democracy for ya innit [11 Mar 24]

[nympherie]

Hold up, you can also pay for badges on your profile? Y'all this is looking desperate

Man, this app has gotten so ridiculous.

@staff I would be so much more inclined to opt into a monthly plan if this platform didn't have an ad every other post.

I like to support the stuff I use, but you're already crushing us with ads.

[nympherie]

jxiary

[nympherie]

[nympherie]

Man, this app has gotten so ridiculous.

@staff I would be so much more inclined to opt into a monthly plan if this platform didn't have an ad every other post.

I like to support the stuff I use, but you're already crushing us with ads.

[nympherie]

mariko kusumoto

[nympherie]

[nympherie]

French School, 20th Century - The black cat

[nympherie]

[nympherie]

Darina Muravjeva, Hole

[nympherie]

Polar bears on the abandoned island of Chukotka | Ph: master.blaster

[nympherie]

㋡🥀

[nympherie]

[nympherie]